One of my VIP Clients asked a question almost every Badass Boss Lady encounters at some point on her Empire journey — “I feel so awkward when I’m leading my employees. What can I do about it?”
Here’s my answer. You get to be a fly on the wall. I hope this lands with the just right Empire creators.
Today’s Transformation Tuesday is about Why I don’t take advice from 99% of people, and why you shouldn’t either.
SHOW NOTES:
Tara doesn’t take business advice or life advice from 99% of people.
She emphasizes being highly coachable and self-aware.
She only takes advice from the masters in specific subjects—people who have done what you’re wanting to do (or something analogous) and got a result you admire or desire, or people who have made their life’s work out of mastering the subject matter.
And even then, you should eat the meat and leave the bones of the advice they give.
Reasons why not to take advice from 99% of people:
Energy is infectious, and most people give advice based on fear.
Creates confusion where there was clarity.
Cookie-cutter advice doesn’t work for everyone because we’re all designed differently. Better to learn your own Human Design Strategy and Authority and learn to lean into that—it’s like getting advice from your own Wise Inner Being.
Asking for advice can be a sneaky form of self-sabotage.
We live in an anti-mastery culture. Most people are not living their dreams and are not on a mission of mastery.
If you want to walk your journey of business-mastery or self-mastery with masterful mentorship and in a community of people who will come get you out of the depths of your emotional rollercoasters…
How can entrepreneurs use Human Design to create the Empires of their Souls?
An old friend/new Empires Member started diving deep into the Empires content and wrote me during a moment of clarity: “I’m drinking in your content like I was dying of thirst. It suddenly clicked for me WHY you’re focusing on Human Design. It’s all about figuring out your zone of genius activity. This is really good for me right now. It just suddenly all clicked.”
I hear a ton of coaches telling people to work in their zones of genius these days, but almost none of them are helping you understand what your genius actually is.
And my client is right: Human Design helps with that.
But that’s just the beginning…
Here’s the voice memo I sent her explaining the many ways we leverage Human Design to help co-create the Empire Of Your Soul at SoulTour.
My friend, the visionary branding scientist N. Chloé Nwangwu, Principal Investigator and Director of Nobiworks wanted to know what her human design type was and how she could use it to upgrade her business and her life.
So I had her send me the time, date and place of her birth, and I pulled her chart. Now, Chloé and I have always had a wild mind meld vibe, so it was no surprise to me that a) she and I were born in the same town of Bakersfield, California (WHOA) and b) she and I are both Projectors.
Last time we talked, I walked her through some high points of what it means to be a Projector, and how we Projectors can learn to thrive as we build alignment-first Empires of our Souls and start making BIG money and stepping into the A-List world we belong in… just by being ourselves. She asked, I answered… and you’re invited to listen in!
How do Projectors “call in” invitations, and what if they can’t afford to pay for help?
YOU ASKED, TARA ANSWERED, Episode 2
A friend and client who is a Projector in the Human Design Type sent me a text yesterday asking two deep questions about being a Projector—the Human Design Type whose success strategy is to REFRAIN from initiating big projects and moves in life and wait for invitations instead. Projectors are also thought of as a non-energy type, meaning that they’re not really supposed to DO a lot of work—they are supposed to guide other types (Generators) to do work.
Her questions were GOOD ones:
1️⃣ What do you do if you don’t have any energetic practices in place for magnetizing in the invitations you want? and 2️⃣ What if you don’t have the budget to hire the kind of help Projectors are supposed to have in their businesses?
I shot her back a few quick 1 minute voice memos with my high-level answers.
First, know this: No Human Design Type needs to be out here trying to performatively cast spells and work magic to call in the invitations or opportunities we want.
Are there manifestation practices that work? Sure.
But I said what I said: You do NOT have to work or perform to “call it in”.
The wisdom of the Human Design System is that just by being who you are uniquely wired and called to be—just by BECOMING your Big Self— you get on the same frequency as your Big Dreams, and you get in alignment with your sacred contracts. And then everything you’ve ever felt like you were seeking? You start to see that it’s been seeking you, all this time.
It’s like you open your eyes, see the world differently and see the fields ripe with the harvest that was just waiting there for you to line up to the big things. Your big things.
So for Projectors, we omit something important when we say your success strategy is to wait for invitations, because that is incomplete.
The REAL Projector Success Strategy is to:
1. Value yourself enough to get or stay rested and heal from burnout 2. Master systems—whichever systems float your boat 3. Project your mastery out into the world… and THEN 4. Wait for the invitations to flow in—invitations from people who recognize your mastery, value it and are inviting you to guide them, partner with them, work with them, move to a certain place, or whatever.
So the only energetic practice a Projector actually needs… is to learn their own unique gifts and strengths and get in congruence with it. Value Self. Rest. Master. Project.
And then watch the invitations flow in.
She asked, I answered… and you’re invited to listen in!
YOU ASKED, TARA ANSWERED, Episode 1: What’s a entrepreneurial spiritual maximalist to do when your alignment starts happening at a super-fast pace?
Do you feel like you’ve hopped into a new timeline—a new world where you are standing in a fresh knowing of your power, sitting at the Big Tables, and moving in the world differently?
Do you ever feel the INCREDIBLE FRICTION between your new world and the old world—the ordinary world—the people around you seem to live in?
You are not alone. In this season, my people—ambitious spiritual maximalists—are feeling the discomfort of expansion and acceleration of our expansion… and we’re also feeling a new level of ability to be still, keep taking the natural next steps on the path to escape velocity in our businesses and in our lives. No more giving into the urge to retreat. We feel the discomfort of the expansion and we are HERE for it. For ALL of it.
I had a VIP Session the other day with my friend and client Dominique Boseman. Dominique is a Member of my Empires of the Soul program, the founder of the skin care line Spraise and an up-and-coming A-list meditation teacher.
She mentioned that she, too, had been feeling the friction between timelines, and that following the Daily Ritual for Empire Builders I send out every day to Empire Members has been accelerating her breakthroughs, her clarity and her alignment.
So I shared with her a parable of sorts, a little story I saw in the Richard Branson documentary, about how we can work with the energies of feeling dragged between timelines… until we hit the jet stream and step into radical alignment with the expansion that is trying to come to us and through us in this season.
Here’s what I want you to do between now and year’s end.
I want you to declutter…but not the way we normally think of decluttering.
I want you to execute some necessary endings.
I can’t tell you which ones.
But I can tell you two things:
I can tell you that there is a wonderful something very BIG that wants to come into your world, your identity, your bank account, your business, your family, your love and your calendar, and I can tell you that it wants to start flowing to you and through you coming now.
And I can tell you that there’s something ELSE, way less wonderful and probably, relatively SMALL potatoes for you, that is occupying your life force, your headspace, your heartspace or space in your calendar that can not coexist with the BIG things—the beautiful, bountiful, joyful, meaningful, Empire-level things—that want to flow in.
So I need you to put an end to some things between now and the end of the year. Some things plural or some thing. To help you detect and determine what thing or things needs ending right now, here’s a set of thought and heart and resonance starters:
Maybe it’s a tangible item or a home situation that’s broken or just not optimally functioning.
Maybe it’s a client relationship that needs a necessary ending.
Maybe it’s a coddling, boundary-less or codependent way of being that you normally be with your kids, your parents or your mate. Maybe that’s what wants an ending.
Maybe it’s a project or an old, slightly-off version of your vision—maybe it’s even a whole business—that you need to put an end to, let go of, grieve and mourn.
(Yes, sometimes you need to grieve the old way you thought this life might play out so the real, big-and-beautiful version of your destiny can unfurl.)
Maybe it’s a fantasy you’ve been fondling about how much potential someone has, or some project has… that ain’t really ever gonna bear fruit. Time to put that to bed, Sis.
Maybe it’s a season or a cycle that feels kind of open and un-done, but needs completion.
Maybe it’s a pattern or a problem that just doesn’t “fit” you anymore.
It could be a habit of thought or action.
It could be a habit of INACTION or INDECISION.
Maybe it’s an emotional theme or story that you need to let go of.
I mean, I realized just the other day that my affirmations and declarations of ease had done their job of helping me see where I was not in alignment with or able to just let some things be easy that REALLY wanted to be easy, despite my best efforts to complicate them.
What struggle stories want to end, within you?
What bitterness is ready to dissipate?
What frustration?
What conditioned programs?
What disappointments?
What simmering, smoldering anger or grievance can’t come with you into the New Reality you desire?
Sometimes, we need to work a whole process and recalibrate and integrate and heal and all of those things.
And sometimes, you have to put your freaking foot down.
And just say THIS ENDS NOW.
That’s been the blessing of our Portugal move.
See, you don’t want to try to pack up and transport everything you possess halfway around the world.
There are some problems and realities I’m just not willing to pay to take with us.
There is some baggage I’m just not willing to bring along.
There are some phone calls about what’s happening in Oakland that I don’t want to receive in Lisbon.
I’m not taking that with me to Portugal.
I’m not paying to cart that around the world.
Or in your case: I’m not paying with my time and my life force to take that with me into 2023.
I’m just not.
And you have to know that people around you have the right to feel how they feel about that.
But you, my Beloved Brilliant One… you have an Empire that wants to be born through you.
And you, my Beloved Brilliant One… you know that sacred destruction precedes sacred creation… always.
So it’s time for you, my Beloved Brilliant One…to Boss the Actual F Up and execute whatever endings need ending now for your Beautiful New Reality we all know good and damn well is possible to come to life.
And I need you, my Beloved Brilliant One, to put your foot down.
This ends now.
Grieve it if you need to.
Mourn it if you need to.
Playtime is over.
Head up + heart out,
Tara-Nicholle Kirke, MA, Esq. The Metaphysician™ Founder + CEO of SoulTour
P.S.: My team and I are looking for a few more smart, successful self-actualizers to help build the Empires of Your Soul in 2023.
If you want our support getting clear on what your Empire is and then DSD—doing something DIFFERENT—so that it can come to life… hit reply and ask for a Breakthrough Call with Team Tara.
P.P.S.: If you need help putting an end to a pattern, project or relationship that needs to end, I recommend you read Necessary Endings, by Henry Cloud.
Real talk: This book might just change your life. It most certainly changed mine.
Last night there was a total lunar eclipse. This is what the astronomers and astrologers call it when the sun, the moon and the earth slide into total alignment, causing the Earth’s shadow to fall over the moon and causing the moon to turn a dark, blood red.
Spiritually and astrologically, this alignment is said to herald abrupt and sudden shifts in circumstance. Big changes and fast. Evolution at high speed.
As I was lying awake in the Big Change, Big Eclipse Moon Energies last night, I made a note to myself to share something with you I shared with the attendees at my UPGRADE event last month:
That the SIZE of the changes you make in your life and the SPEED with which you make them are directly proportional to the discomfort, disruption and upheaval you will experience as you make these changes.
And, please Brilliant One, catch this principle:This is true whether the changes you’re making were desired and designed by you… or not.
A few months ago I was chatting with my therapist, Miriam, and she—knowing I have a Master’s degree in Psychology—gently asked me if I remembered learning in grad school about the Durkheim Suicide Study.
I replied that yes, I vaguely recalled that it was the first study to reveal that in times of economic crisis, more people killed themselves.
Miriam said, “Ah. But everyone remembers that study incorrectly. Durkheim found that in times of economic CHANGE, suicide rates go up… whether the economy is on the decline or on the upswing.”
Here’s the deal: All systems “desire” homeostasis. And you, beloved, are a system. That’s why Gay Hendricks calls our inner resistance “upper limits”. Because we’re all wired with this strong thermostat setting for how good we’re willing to let our lives get before we start sabotaging ourselves and our desires and blowing things up.
What’s a spiritual cosmonaut like you, a beautiful little alien mutant out here on the leading edge of human evolution, just out here on your own Hero’s Journey to be their Big Self and do their Big Dreams before they die… what are YOU supposed to do about that?
It depends.
Think: Seasons.
Sometimes, the answer is to have a season of stability and stasis. A season of integration and just letting things be calm and easeful.
Sometimes, the answer is to to have a season where you’re making changes, but you’re letting them be slow, deep and integrative.
But it ain’t always the season for slow.
Sometimes it’s eclipse season. Sometimes the rapid changes, the rapid alignments, that feel like loss and pain and death and grief before they feel like alignment are not ones we chose or intended, but are creating the space for a new life we haven’t even been able to imagine yet, it’s so freaking good.
That’s Big Eclipse Energy.
And when it’s eclipse season, you’ve got some options.
You can make yourself and your life as comfortable as possible in every way you can except the area of upgrading your business, diving into the deep end of your wealth and success, and building your Empire.
You can make the commitment to stop dabbling in your dreams so that you go all in, get to the level of mastery where you really belong and start to build a new comfort zone at that level (versus getting very comfortable with your shadow career or unfulfilled dreams).
You can embrace the visual of the eclipse as a parable for your Personal Alignment Adventure.
Your True Self is the sun. The life you were born to live is the Earth. And the moon is the life you’re living.
Let them all line up.
Let your destiny—your future story, starting now—eclipse your history.
The single most powerful thing you can do to soothe the inevitable discomfort of the transition into your Big Self building the Empire of your Soul is this:
Tell a way better story to yourself… about yourself.
I gave this advice to a client who was building a beautiful profitable business that was taking over his life.
I told him he needed to rebrand himself… TO himself.
He needed to expand his story and his identity from successful but chronically depleted small business owner to the creator of an Empire of the Soul: a thriving engine of profit and transformation that benefits everyone it touches, while giving him the abundance and creative fulfillment he needs and the time to enjoy this one wild and precious lie.
Now THAT’s a better story.
In your Human Design Chart, alignment lives in Gate 26—we call it The Gate of Integrity in Quantum Human Design.
Within this Gate are the full spectrum of potentials you need to live in the delicious-feeling, inside out, bones to skin, fingertips to your toes, whole-life alignment (aka Integrity) on five different dimensions of your being:
Physical Integrity—taking care of your physical body
Resource Integrity—taking care of all your resources, including the people who support you, your time and your money
Identity Integrity—Radical authenticity—are you pretending to be something you’re not for external validation or to prove your worth?
Moral Integrity—No compromising our values.
Energetic Integrity—stop saying yes when you really mean no, among other things. If it don’t feel right, we don’t participate in it. Period. Punto. Thassit.
But catch this principle, Brilliant One: Small hinges swing big doors.
And there’s one single small hinge that can rapidly swing all five of these parts of you into alignment AND at the same time, can rewrite the story you think, feel, speak and create to yourself about yourself.
That small hinge is your self-value. Self-love. Self-worth.
The state of your heart.
When you love and approve of yourself, you take good care of your body, your resources, you live in radical authenticity, moral and energetic integrity. And you do it with ease.
And the opposite is true: The more unloved you feel, the more you believe the world won’t allow you to be successful AND be who you really are, the more painful your alignment spurts will be and the more likely you will be to backslide into your small-playing self-sabotage patterns.
The more you love who you are—
The less often you put on a mask and present a false self to the world
The less you shrink yourself down
The more you give yourself permission to want what you really want
The more intensively you seek to understand your own unique wiring, ways and energies without judging them negatively
The less you judge, rush, track yourself or your progress
The less you equate your worth with anything that can be measured numerically
The more you invest your time, energy and money in your own self and your own dreams…
The more you’re willing to heal what needs healing and see what needs seeing to catch a vision for your life that causes you to fall head-over-heels in love with your future…
The more you dial up the resistance-dissolving power of the focus that can only flow from a congruent, self-loving heart.
The more you love yourself, the more likely you are to let the Empire of your Soul out of your soul and into the world.
Oh yes—and the more you love yourself, the more likely you are to maintain the confidence and consistency you’ll need to ever reap the fruits of aligning to who you really are and why you’re really here—big love, big money, radiant health and a Pro Level of peaceful, profitable creative power.
The child developmentalist Dr. Ross Greene wrote that “[e]very kid has the same task: Figure out who she is—her skills, preferences, beliefs, values, personality traits, goals and direction—get comfortable with it, and then pursue and live a life that is congruent with it. This is self-actualization.”
At SoulTour, we call this Self-Mastery.
But we also call this self-love.
And it’s not just the job of every kid.
This is the job of your Inner Child and the Wise Inner Being part of you—the Inner Respectful Parent—that is right now tasked with reparenting that Inner Child.
Start Here: When you wake up in the morning, ask yourself the question my Mom asks me every time I talk to her on the phone, even now at 46 years and 11 months and 2 days old*…
What’s your story, Morning Glory?
Then take a sacred pause to remind yourself that your thoughts create neurotransmitters which create emotions which create the magnet for the people, places, things and experiences that create your day.
And then write a self-loving story about who you are into your journal, whether you believe it yet or not.
And if you feel like you need some expert help stepping into a new story and building the Empire of your Soul, just click this to book a call with someone on Team Tara.
We’ve cracked the code on that. We’ve got you.
Head up + heart out,
Tara-Nicholle Kirke, MA, Esq. The Metaphysician™ Founder + CEO of SoulTour
