One of my VIP Clients asked a question almost every Badass Boss Lady encounters at some point on her Empire journey — “I feel so awkward when I’m leading my employees. What can I do about it?”
Here’s my answer. You get to be a fly on the wall. I hope this lands with the just right Empire creators.
Today’s Transformation Tuesday is about Why I don’t take advice from 99% of people, and why you shouldn’t either.
SHOW NOTES:
Tara doesn’t take business advice or life advice from 99% of people.
She emphasizes being highly coachable and self-aware.
She only takes advice from the masters in specific subjects—people who have done what you’re wanting to do (or something analogous) and got a result you admire or desire, or people who have made their life’s work out of mastering the subject matter.
And even then, you should eat the meat and leave the bones of the advice they give.
Reasons why not to take advice from 99% of people:
Energy is infectious, and most people give advice based on fear.
Creates confusion where there was clarity.
Cookie-cutter advice doesn’t work for everyone because we’re all designed differently. Better to learn your own Human Design Strategy and Authority and learn to lean into that—it’s like getting advice from your own Wise Inner Being.
Asking for advice can be a sneaky form of self-sabotage.
We live in an anti-mastery culture. Most people are not living their dreams and are not on a mission of mastery.
If you want to walk your journey of business-mastery or self-mastery with masterful mentorship and in a community of people who will come get you out of the depths of your emotional rollercoasters…
How can entrepreneurs use Human Design to create the Empires of their Souls?
An old friend/new Empires Member started diving deep into the Empires content and wrote me during a moment of clarity: “I’m drinking in your content like I was dying of thirst. It suddenly clicked for me WHY you’re focusing on Human Design. It’s all about figuring out your zone of genius activity. This is really good for me right now. It just suddenly all clicked.”
I hear a ton of coaches telling people to work in their zones of genius these days, but almost none of them are helping you understand what your genius actually is.
And my client is right: Human Design helps with that.
But that’s just the beginning…
Here’s the voice memo I sent her explaining the many ways we leverage Human Design to help co-create the Empire Of Your Soul at SoulTour.
Here’s what I want you to do between now and year’s end.
I want you to declutter…but not the way we normally think of decluttering.
I want you to execute some necessary endings.
I can’t tell you which ones.
But I can tell you two things:
I can tell you that there is a wonderful something very BIG that wants to come into your world, your identity, your bank account, your business, your family, your love and your calendar, and I can tell you that it wants to start flowing to you and through you coming now.
And I can tell you that there’s something ELSE, way less wonderful and probably, relatively SMALL potatoes for you, that is occupying your life force, your headspace, your heartspace or space in your calendar that can not coexist with the BIG things—the beautiful, bountiful, joyful, meaningful, Empire-level things—that want to flow in.
So I need you to put an end to some things between now and the end of the year. Some things plural or some thing. To help you detect and determine what thing or things needs ending right now, here’s a set of thought and heart and resonance starters:
Maybe it’s a tangible item or a home situation that’s broken or just not optimally functioning.
Maybe it’s a client relationship that needs a necessary ending.
Maybe it’s a coddling, boundary-less or codependent way of being that you normally be with your kids, your parents or your mate. Maybe that’s what wants an ending.
Maybe it’s a project or an old, slightly-off version of your vision—maybe it’s even a whole business—that you need to put an end to, let go of, grieve and mourn.
(Yes, sometimes you need to grieve the old way you thought this life might play out so the real, big-and-beautiful version of your destiny can unfurl.)
Maybe it’s a fantasy you’ve been fondling about how much potential someone has, or some project has… that ain’t really ever gonna bear fruit. Time to put that to bed, Sis.
Maybe it’s a season or a cycle that feels kind of open and un-done, but needs completion.
Maybe it’s a pattern or a problem that just doesn’t “fit” you anymore.
It could be a habit of thought or action.
It could be a habit of INACTION or INDECISION.
Maybe it’s an emotional theme or story that you need to let go of.
I mean, I realized just the other day that my affirmations and declarations of ease had done their job of helping me see where I was not in alignment with or able to just let some things be easy that REALLY wanted to be easy, despite my best efforts to complicate them.
What struggle stories want to end, within you?
What bitterness is ready to dissipate?
What frustration?
What conditioned programs?
What disappointments?
What simmering, smoldering anger or grievance can’t come with you into the New Reality you desire?
Sometimes, we need to work a whole process and recalibrate and integrate and heal and all of those things.
And sometimes, you have to put your freaking foot down.
And just say THIS ENDS NOW.
That’s been the blessing of our Portugal move.
See, you don’t want to try to pack up and transport everything you possess halfway around the world.
There are some problems and realities I’m just not willing to pay to take with us.
There is some baggage I’m just not willing to bring along.
There are some phone calls about what’s happening in Oakland that I don’t want to receive in Lisbon.
I’m not taking that with me to Portugal.
I’m not paying to cart that around the world.
Or in your case: I’m not paying with my time and my life force to take that with me into 2023.
I’m just not.
And you have to know that people around you have the right to feel how they feel about that.
But you, my Beloved Brilliant One… you have an Empire that wants to be born through you.
And you, my Beloved Brilliant One… you know that sacred destruction precedes sacred creation… always.
So it’s time for you, my Beloved Brilliant One…to Boss the Actual F Up and execute whatever endings need ending now for your Beautiful New Reality we all know good and damn well is possible to come to life.
And I need you, my Beloved Brilliant One, to put your foot down.
This ends now.
Grieve it if you need to.
Mourn it if you need to.
Playtime is over.
Head up + heart out,
Tara-Nicholle Kirke, MA, Esq. The Metaphysician™ Founder + CEO of SoulTour
P.S.: My team and I are looking for a few more smart, successful self-actualizers to help build the Empires of Your Soul in 2023.
If you want our support getting clear on what your Empire is and then DSD—doing something DIFFERENT—so that it can come to life… hit reply and ask for a Breakthrough Call with Team Tara.
P.P.S.: If you need help putting an end to a pattern, project or relationship that needs to end, I recommend you read Necessary Endings, by Henry Cloud.
Real talk: This book might just change your life. It most certainly changed mine.
Last night there was a total lunar eclipse. This is what the astronomers and astrologers call it when the sun, the moon and the earth slide into total alignment, causing the Earth’s shadow to fall over the moon and causing the moon to turn a dark, blood red.
Spiritually and astrologically, this alignment is said to herald abrupt and sudden shifts in circumstance. Big changes and fast. Evolution at high speed.
As I was lying awake in the Big Change, Big Eclipse Moon Energies last night, I made a note to myself to share something with you I shared with the attendees at my UPGRADE event last month:
That the SIZE of the changes you make in your life and the SPEED with which you make them are directly proportional to the discomfort, disruption and upheaval you will experience as you make these changes.
And, please Brilliant One, catch this principle:This is true whether the changes you’re making were desired and designed by you… or not.
A few months ago I was chatting with my therapist, Miriam, and she—knowing I have a Master’s degree in Psychology—gently asked me if I remembered learning in grad school about the Durkheim Suicide Study.
I replied that yes, I vaguely recalled that it was the first study to reveal that in times of economic crisis, more people killed themselves.
Miriam said, “Ah. But everyone remembers that study incorrectly. Durkheim found that in times of economic CHANGE, suicide rates go up… whether the economy is on the decline or on the upswing.”
Here’s the deal: All systems “desire” homeostasis. And you, beloved, are a system. That’s why Gay Hendricks calls our inner resistance “upper limits”. Because we’re all wired with this strong thermostat setting for how good we’re willing to let our lives get before we start sabotaging ourselves and our desires and blowing things up.
What’s a spiritual cosmonaut like you, a beautiful little alien mutant out here on the leading edge of human evolution, just out here on your own Hero’s Journey to be their Big Self and do their Big Dreams before they die… what are YOU supposed to do about that?
It depends.
Think: Seasons.
Sometimes, the answer is to have a season of stability and stasis. A season of integration and just letting things be calm and easeful.
Sometimes, the answer is to to have a season where you’re making changes, but you’re letting them be slow, deep and integrative.
But it ain’t always the season for slow.
Sometimes it’s eclipse season. Sometimes the rapid changes, the rapid alignments, that feel like loss and pain and death and grief before they feel like alignment are not ones we chose or intended, but are creating the space for a new life we haven’t even been able to imagine yet, it’s so freaking good.
That’s Big Eclipse Energy.
And when it’s eclipse season, you’ve got some options.
You can make yourself and your life as comfortable as possible in every way you can except the area of upgrading your business, diving into the deep end of your wealth and success, and building your Empire.
You can make the commitment to stop dabbling in your dreams so that you go all in, get to the level of mastery where you really belong and start to build a new comfort zone at that level (versus getting very comfortable with your shadow career or unfulfilled dreams).
You can embrace the visual of the eclipse as a parable for your Personal Alignment Adventure.
Your True Self is the sun. The life you were born to live is the Earth. And the moon is the life you’re living.
Let them all line up.
Let your destiny—your future story, starting now—eclipse your history.
The single most powerful thing you can do to soothe the inevitable discomfort of the transition into your Big Self building the Empire of your Soul is this:
Tell a way better story to yourself… about yourself.
I gave this advice to a client who was building a beautiful profitable business that was taking over his life.
I told him he needed to rebrand himself… TO himself.
He needed to expand his story and his identity from successful but chronically depleted small business owner to the creator of an Empire of the Soul: a thriving engine of profit and transformation that benefits everyone it touches, while giving him the abundance and creative fulfillment he needs and the time to enjoy this one wild and precious lie.
Now THAT’s a better story.
In your Human Design Chart, alignment lives in Gate 26—we call it The Gate of Integrity in Quantum Human Design.
Within this Gate are the full spectrum of potentials you need to live in the delicious-feeling, inside out, bones to skin, fingertips to your toes, whole-life alignment (aka Integrity) on five different dimensions of your being:
Physical Integrity—taking care of your physical body
Resource Integrity—taking care of all your resources, including the people who support you, your time and your money
Identity Integrity—Radical authenticity—are you pretending to be something you’re not for external validation or to prove your worth?
Moral Integrity—No compromising our values.
Energetic Integrity—stop saying yes when you really mean no, among other things. If it don’t feel right, we don’t participate in it. Period. Punto. Thassit.
But catch this principle, Brilliant One: Small hinges swing big doors.
And there’s one single small hinge that can rapidly swing all five of these parts of you into alignment AND at the same time, can rewrite the story you think, feel, speak and create to yourself about yourself.
That small hinge is your self-value. Self-love. Self-worth.
The state of your heart.
When you love and approve of yourself, you take good care of your body, your resources, you live in radical authenticity, moral and energetic integrity. And you do it with ease.
And the opposite is true: The more unloved you feel, the more you believe the world won’t allow you to be successful AND be who you really are, the more painful your alignment spurts will be and the more likely you will be to backslide into your small-playing self-sabotage patterns.
The more you love who you are—
The less often you put on a mask and present a false self to the world
The less you shrink yourself down
The more you give yourself permission to want what you really want
The more intensively you seek to understand your own unique wiring, ways and energies without judging them negatively
The less you judge, rush, track yourself or your progress
The less you equate your worth with anything that can be measured numerically
The more you invest your time, energy and money in your own self and your own dreams…
The more you’re willing to heal what needs healing and see what needs seeing to catch a vision for your life that causes you to fall head-over-heels in love with your future…
The more you dial up the resistance-dissolving power of the focus that can only flow from a congruent, self-loving heart.
The more you love yourself, the more likely you are to let the Empire of your Soul out of your soul and into the world.
Oh yes—and the more you love yourself, the more likely you are to maintain the confidence and consistency you’ll need to ever reap the fruits of aligning to who you really are and why you’re really here—big love, big money, radiant health and a Pro Level of peaceful, profitable creative power.
The child developmentalist Dr. Ross Greene wrote that “[e]very kid has the same task: Figure out who she is—her skills, preferences, beliefs, values, personality traits, goals and direction—get comfortable with it, and then pursue and live a life that is congruent with it. This is self-actualization.”
At SoulTour, we call this Self-Mastery.
But we also call this self-love.
And it’s not just the job of every kid.
This is the job of your Inner Child and the Wise Inner Being part of you—the Inner Respectful Parent—that is right now tasked with reparenting that Inner Child.
Start Here: When you wake up in the morning, ask yourself the question my Mom asks me every time I talk to her on the phone, even now at 46 years and 11 months and 2 days old*…
What’s your story, Morning Glory?
Then take a sacred pause to remind yourself that your thoughts create neurotransmitters which create emotions which create the magnet for the people, places, things and experiences that create your day.
And then write a self-loving story about who you are into your journal, whether you believe it yet or not.
And if you feel like you need some expert help stepping into a new story and building the Empire of your Soul, just click this to book a call with someone on Team Tara.
We’ve cracked the code on that. We’ve got you.
Head up + heart out,
Tara-Nicholle Kirke, MA, Esq. The Metaphysician™ Founder + CEO of SoulTour
UPGRADE is a 3-day recalibration retreat and Self-Mastery workshop, where you will download fresh energy, fresh vision and the master keys to increase your income, influence and intuition starting before you even leave the event.
Plus, you’ll get to spend 3 days with me in a magical place… with magical people.
Head up + heart out,
Tara-Nicholle Kirke, MA, Esq. The Metaphysician Founder + CEO of SoulTour
UPGRADE is a 3-day recalibration retreat and Self-Mastery workshop, where you will download fresh energy, fresh vision and the master keys to increase your income, influence and intuition starting before you even leave the event.
Plus, you’ll get to spend 3 days with me in a magical place… with magical people.
Head up + heart out,
Tara-Nicholle Kirke, MA, Esq. The Metaphysician Founder + CEO of SoulTour
Last year I was on crutches and had a cast on one foot or the other for eighteen weeks.
One-hundred and twenty six days.
A long-misdiagnosed complex illness had wreaked havoc on my bones and connective tissues, causing fractures in my bones and frays and tears to the tendons in my feet.
My then-foot doctor shook her head and told me there was really nothing to do, except injections for the pain. She began managing my expectations, describing how my ankles were in the process of collapsing.
She asked me if I’d ever seen the old women who had very wide ankles and sort of shuffled as they walk, and told me that’s what was happening to me.
There’s nothing to be done about it, she insisted.
But I, as a metaphysician, knew something that she, as a physician, did not:
I knew that EVERYTHING… and I mean everything is healable.
I can close my eyes and visualize that day. La doctora describing what she knew to be the total collapse of my tendons.
Me sitting there erecting spiritual protection against that curse.
Me telling her in no uncertain terms: I REJECT THAT.
Me leaving the office and chatting with Spirit about the situation. Normally, I would say something like: Infinite Spirit, show me the way.
But sometimes you have to get aggressive with Source, Beloved.
And that’s what I did that day.
I wrote in my journal: Spirit, reveal to me the answer to this: What would Kobe Bryant do? What would Serena do? What would the doctors do in a money-is-no-object situation, because it is not.
And Spirit complied.
I won’t tell you the play-by-play of the WILD plot twists and turns and angels unaware, and medical tourism adventures and incredible synchronicities through which my questions were answered… and continue to be, as I continue to heal.
But I will tell you this: I run 3 miles a day now.
I’m GOOD good now.
I feel like a superhero these days: Physically and energetically and creatively and spiritually.
There are 5 principles from my healing process I want to highlight for you today, Beloved:
You can catch the spiritual lessons of your physical illness andheal itwith medicine at the same time. I learned to move through the world SLOWLY AND GRADUALLY. I learned to let things be easy. I learned to imagine being supported and resourced and helped. I learned the mechanics of getting that help. I learned not to rely on my pain levels to dictate the level of unseen illness in my body—or my life—because I have a wildly high tolerance for pain. I learned how to manage my own cellular health and wellbeing with nutrition, movement, and alternative modalities.
And I also learned how to access the leading edge of Western medicine and get it in my veins and my tendons. These are not mutually exclusive.
Healing is an inside job. I’ve had a number of medical moments and treatments that were pivotal in my healing process, but the headliner is something called PRP, which stands for platelet-rich plasma.
That day, my doctor vociferously insisted that NOTHING regenerates tendon. And I’m glad she did, because that was the specific thing she said that triggered my “I REJECT THAT” sentiment.
Because I happen to know that the human body is a miracle and masterpiece, and that every cell of it can actually be regenerated.
So I went home, got online to the National Institutes of Health catalog and set about learning that there are a couple of things that heal tendon, including PRP. And PRP is the thing that Kobe, Serena, and all the other world-class athletes do when they need their connective tissues to heal up.
In PRP, they draw a VAT of your own blood, throw it in a centrifuge right there in the office and then reinject the juicy platelets right into the most damaged joints and tissues. The trauma of the new cells stimulates growth in areas that normally have little or no blood flow. And the growth factors the PRP injection contains go straight to the freshly traumatized, healing-seeking cells.
Regeneration ensues.
But catch this: The healing serum that is PRP is actually created from your own blood. Everything I needed to heal? It was already running through my veins. I just needed a little help, the willingness and commitment to follow my Inner Guidance around the world until I was satisfied, and a little boost from science.
You have to invest in your healing when no one else around you will. You are extraordinary. Whether you’re trying to heal your finances, your marriage, your personal trauma or depression or your physical body from an auto-immune or inflammatory condition, you might have to go to extraordinary lengths to heal.
I went to multiple COUNTRIES and spent thousands of dollars out of pocket to get to this point of healing both my physical and spiritual healing. And sometimes, when I share my journey, the other person will react with outrage or anger that I “had to go through all that”.
And that totally misses the point, in my opinion.
Your wellbeing is YOUR responsibility. Nobody will ever invest in your healing the way you will… if you give yourself permission to. When I meet people who are sitting on ample financial savings, but won’t go outside of their network providers to heal their physical bodies, I marvel at their priorities, maybe more than they marvel at mine. Because…
Nothing is too good for me. That’s the other piece of my process that I think blows people’s minds. I have this very strong belief that nothing on this planet is too good to be true, and nothing is too good for me.
And I don’t care whether my insurance company or medical doctor feels the same way.
All that matters is that I do.
Stop seeking permission from this world, which teaches restriction as virtue so you can save your dollars for the consumer machine. Never resent “having to” invest money in your own wellbeing. Instead, see it as an incredible blessing and privilege that you can leverage your blessing and use that privilege.
Be lavish with yourself in this life. Pour your resources into yourself and your body, and I’m talking about your time, your energy, AND your money.
Never forget this principle:
Everything is healable. YOU have to know that and believe that. YOU have to take nothing else for an answer. My practice of sovereignty and rejection of medical mediocrity is the single reason I’m still able to walk. Had I taken the experts’ word for it, I’d be jacked up… my friends would still be signing up on a spreadsheet for Londyn’s pickups and drop-offs because I couldn’t even get up the stairs to my own house, smh.
Funny enough, the doctor who gave me my PRP treatments also shared her own experience with medical psychedelics, which she had used to heal a lifelong, treatment-resistant depression.
That sent me down a research rabbit hole, wanting to learn about psychedelics for my clients… and THAT research revealed that ketamine in particular has strong medical indications for PTSD.
So while I was “feet-up” for those months on end, healing my connective tissues with PRP, I also underwent medical psychedelic therapy for the PTSD that I’d spent over 20 years in talk therapy and EMDR address. That treatment turned out to be a multiplier on the healing I’d spent so many thousands of dollars and hours doing over the years.
And miracles ensued… in my synapses, my spirit, my soul, my life… and my feet.
So when I tell you that everything is healable, I mean EVERYTHING.
Your tendons.
Your bones.
Your cells.
Your brain.
Your heart.
Your finances.
Your relationships.
Your career.
Your business.
Your creative life.
Your children.
Your ancestral line.
Everything is healable.
Head up + heart out,
Tara-Nicholle Kirke, MA, Esq. The Metaphysician Founder + CEO of SoulTour
P.S.: One more thing: You might have to imagine your healing in ways that those around you never will, if you ever want it to happen.
Soon I’ll tell you the story about how my imagination led me on a quest for a medical Holy Grail… and how I found it!
