Transformation Tuesday | How to become immune…to the epidemic of fear 😱

This weekend, 2-year-old Londyn had a nasty fall. We spent much of the weekend at the ER and the doctor’s office. 

(No need to worry. She’s in great shape now, and all is well.)

But on Saturday, during our ER visit, I was all the way on the edge.

  • I was worried about the baby
  • She was still shaken from the fall
  • I’d forgotten to bring water, snacks or a phone charger 
  • I was watching my phone light up as conferences and travel plans got cancelled, one after the other
  • In the actual ER, people around me were coughing and wearing masks, and 
  • The staff wasn’t being as responsive as I wanted them to be.

Fortunately, she got a clean bill of health.

Also fortunately, by Sunday I’d remembered who we are, Londyn and I. 

We are offspring of the Divine, like you.

Wellbeing is who we are.

We don’t participate in fear, scarcity or panic.

We do exercise sovereignty over our own minds and bodies and emotions.

So by the time we went to the doctor on Sunday, we had elevated our own waiting room experience in a big way.

I’d brought provisions. 

I’d brought a phone charger.

Londyn (who I call My Little Chickadee) and I sat in the waiting room watching videos of actual little chickadee birds singing their pretty little songs on YouTube. 

And every other human in the office sat watching Londyn, mesmerized by her magic and enchanted by her adorably unsuccessful efforts to replicate the birds’ calls. 

The nurse came to get us, and I pushed Londyn’s stroller into the doctor’s office. 

The nurse sat wearily and heavily down to gather our information, then she sighed and closed her eyes for a brief moment as she listened to the chickadees.

She opened her eyes, smiled and said: “That is so soothing.”

It was a sacred pause. 

And that is my action item for you during this media cycle of fear, scarcity and panic: Take a sacred pause today. 

Or take a million sacred pauses.

Take as many as you need, anytime you need one. 

Come back into this moment, over and over again. 

Come back into this moment from Googling about past stock market trajectories and how the bird flu spread… and come back into this moment from fixating on what “might” happen, once you’ve done what you can reasonably do. 

Come back into this moment, over and over again. 

Feel your butt in the seat. Feel your feet on the floor. Feel the breath of life in your lungs, right now, in this moment.

Once you’re here in this moment, tune yourself to the channel of soothed. 

Take a walk, get into nature, or just watch the chickadees on YouTube.

Get your cardio in. Stretch your body more than usual. 

Soothe your skin with something that smells wonderful.

Drink more water than normal. 

Treat yourself like you’re in the middle of an endurance race, because you are (spiritually speaking).

Take a bath before you go to bed. Wear something soft and cozy when you go to bed.

Watch things you love that feel good to you. 

Talk with people you love, and have conversations that feel good to you. 
Cook yourself things you love, that feel good to you.

Soothe yourself.

At the same time, place a limit on how much time you’re willing to spend on news or social media.

Reclaim sovereignty over your mind and your emotions. 

Cleanse the timeline of your mind. 

Replace the trances of fear, scarcity and panic with beautiful topics and observations and conversations.

Then, as you start to feel solid in your soothed state, radiate the golden, glowing light of your inner calm out to at least one other person.

Or maybe to 5 or 10.

If you need some declarations for emotional soothing and physical wellbeing, here are a few my students and I are using this month:

Wellbeing is the natural state of my body.

I live and thrive in perfect health. 

Divine Wellbeing now streams through my immune system, my digestive system, my muscles and bones, my heart and my veins, my brain and every cell of my body, dissolving everything that is not of itself. 

I give thanks for my radiant health.

All is well in my world.

Head up + heart out,

TNN

P.S.: Fear is a culturally programmed trance that almost everyone you know is living under the influence of, without even knowing it. 

But you can wake up from it.  

Scarcity is also a pervasive, cultural trance, that looks like this: “Better buy that toilet paper fast!” 

And unworthiness is, too. 

Most people don’t even know they’re thinking it, but there’s a common mental narrative in our culture that says you have to take actions, perform well, buy a bunch of stuff, prep for disaster or scrub the skin off your hands in order to “earn” or “deserve” your way out of catastrophe.

I saw someone say you should wash your hands like you just chopped jalapenos and you need to take out your contact.

Now, that’s just a highly effective visual.

But I saw someone else say “YES, we have to get very OCD about washing our hands now!!!!”

That’s the trance of unworthiness.

You don’t have to be stressed, anxious, extreme, overly disciplined or harsh with yourself in order to prove that you’re worthy of exemption from trauma or disease. 

You are worthy of a life that feels and is good to you. Period. Without doing or proving anything. We all are.

By the same token, no one can “earn” their way out of every unwanted circumstance. That’s not how life works. And it is often the unwanted events of your life that set you up for your highest good.

The wonderful news is that you have the power to refuse to participate in any or all of these trances: fear, scarcity and unworthiness. 

They feel real, but they aren’t true.

You can wake up from them. 

And your life will start to feel magically impervious to whatever is in the headlines when you do. 

Consider this your wake-up call.

Tara-Nicholle Nelson, MA, Esq.
Founder + CEO of SoulTour

@taranicholle on FB | TW | IG | LI

If you click a link to an e-commerce site and make a purchase, we may receive a small cut of the revenue, which helps support what we do.

Transformation Tuesday | 4 things to do when you need a breakthrough 👊

One of the most powerful Breakthrough Questions we ask our members and coaching clients is this: 

“What’s not in alignment?”

“What’s not in alignment with your calling or your desires that feel blocked or stuck?”

It might be their values.

It might be their identity: who they see themselves as and what they think they are (or are not) capable of. 

It can be their beliefs or the decisions, actions and inactions that flow from those beliefs. 

For high-achieving women, it’s often their systems, tools, relationships and environments that are out of whack.

I think of this particular Breakthrough Question as the “cut the line to your breakthrough” question, because most people know the answer (or at least one good answer) instantly.

The most powerful breakthrough Spiritual Strategies™ aren’t about spotting the misalignment.

The most powerful breakthrough Spiritual Strategies™ help you know what to do next.

See, this world’s unworthiness messaging has programmed us to believe that if we’re not getting what we want, we have to find what’s wrong with ourselves and roll up our sleeves.

We need to change or fix whatever is wrong with us.

We need to “heal” it. 

Get more disciplined.

Exert more willpower. 

Work longer hours.

Date more. 

Work out more. 

Real talk? That “go harder” approach, alone, rarely works in a sustained way.

Because what you focus on grows.

Because: MOMENTUM. 

Focus on what’s not working, and you get more of what’s not working.

When you focus on what’s not working or feeling good in your business or your life, you tend to honk your insides up with the double-whammy of seeing what’s out of alignment, then applying more power and force to that same, misalignment.

Or you honk yourself up with the triple-whammy of seeking the misalignment, putting more energy on top of that and then judging yourself for getting the same bad-feeling results as you’ve always gotten. 

As Esther Hicks would say: “The worse it gets, the worse it gets”. 

So the Breakthrough Spiritual Strategies™ that work involve doing the opposite of rolling up your sleeves and working harder, grinding it out or fixing yourself: 

  • Breakthrough Spiritual Strategy #1: Radical Acceptance: See it, shine light on it, radically accept it and investigate it with kindness and compassion, without identifying with the “problem”. (These are Tara Brach’s steps of Radical Acceptance.)
  • Breakthrough Spiritual Strategy #2: The Pattern Interrupt, aka Take a Freaking Break: Take a break, take a walk, take a nap, take a vacation, change the subject, hug a baby, hug a pug, get into nature, go to the gym, workout, make out, break the momentum of problem and refocus on a subject that feels like soothing and just GOOD to you. 

    Then: Wait, watch and see what inspirations come to you, without rushing, judging or tracking your progress.
  • Breakthrough Spiritual Strategy #s 3 and 4: Divine Order and Pronoia. It’s a mastery level strategy to keep in mind at all times that everything is always working out for you, even your setbacks, troublemakers, problems and obstacles.

    They are collaborating for your ultimate thriving, whether they know it or not. Whether they want to or not.

    Even your delays are beneficial to you. 

    What’s important is that you know it and tune yourself to the channel of seeking and finding the wonderful things are trying to come to you, even through your frustrations and disappointments.
  • Breakthrough Spiritual Strategy #5: Focus on What is Working.

I coach myself… in business and in life… with these same exact methods. 

We have a business question that has felt sticky and unmoving for a long time, so we’ve tried lots of different solutions.

But today, I posed this question to our General Manager, Tierra: Can we inventory all our assets on that subject that we know DO work? 

What resulted was this SUPER fun, fresh, energized conversation and a beautiful reset on a piece of our 2020 SoulTour strategic roadmap, complete with simplified, super-clear marching orders for our vendors. 

Will this reset work? Yeah, probably. 

The data suggests it will.

But way more importantly, the reset feels wonderful, partially because it gave us a reason to celebrate all our wins instead of dwelling in the energy of what seemed like a problem.

It also gave us a beautiful guardrail, a beautiful constraint.

As any artist will tell you, creativity loves constraints. 

See, there’s a trap of the multipassionate and the multitalented, which overlaps with the shadows of the Ruler and Maverick archetypes, both of which run strong in my own inner wiring.

The trap is defaulting to making new things, writing new things, producing new things, creating new things to solve business and life problems as they pop up. 

But this is a shadow. And we knew it. So instead of trying to “fix” or change that about ourselves, we leaned into the strengths of those Archetypes, too.

And we course-corrected ourselves to stay out of the shadows by putting two constraints on our strategy session: 

  1. What might be a wise solution if we couldn’t create even one single new thing?, and
  2. How might we optimally use, integrate and leverage the assets we already have that really, really work? Put differently, how can we fully inhabit the resources we already have?

And because creativity LOVES constraints, this historic tour of that part of our business gave birth to a beautiful new strategy… and the momentum of fresh, new energy for the things we already do very, very well.

To recap, anytime you find a misalignment, here’s what you do: 

  1. Ask yourself what’s not in alignment: feel what needs feeling, investigate what needs investigating, grieve what needs grieving, see what needs seeing 
  2. But don’t hammer away at the misalignment, once you see it.
  3. Instead, practice Radical Acceptance, Tara Brach-style. Do a Pattern Interrupt. Invite Divine Order to take the wheel. Look for the wonderful things that this so-called “problem” is flowing your way.
  4. And then focus on what is already wonderful and good and really, really working for you in that area or on that topic, no matter how seemingly small and tangential

Then lean into that

That’s how you’ll play your role in human evolution, my friend. 

Awakening from the paralyzing, self-defeating inner war of trying to fix or change yourself. 

Actualizing your own divinely granted resources, those within you and those without, and then…

Answering the calling of your soul, no matter how trivial or non-world-changing that calling may seem at the time. 

Awaken. Actualize. Answer.

And enjoy yourself, all along the way.

Head up + heart out,

Tara-Nicholle Nelson, MA, Esq.
Founder + CEO of SoulTour

@taranicholle on FB | TW | IG | LI

If you click a link to an e-commerce site and make a purchase, we may receive a small cut of the revenue, which helps support what we do.

Transformation Tuesday | The advice I gave in the bar last night 🍷

Last night, I was sitting in a (fancy) bar in San Francisco with one of my soul sisters, who happens to be a badass boss lady in her own right.

As always when we meet, the whole conversation was fueled by and centered around soul and Spirit.

We reveled with each other in how consistently and beautifully Divine Order is always working things out for us.

She told me of her delight in attending Glide Memorial Church in San Francisco. (Look it up — this place is an historic epicenter of revolutionary, radical love… and it’s also run by the Glide Foundation… where I’m on the Board of Trustees.)

We traded silly stories and baby pictures and business updates and deep blessings.

We talked about this journey of fully integrating business and real estate and spirit.

We traded our visions and shared the Divine Downloads we’ve both been receiving, rapid-fire.

We saw that our visions overlapped significantly.

And we reveled in that, too.

At some point, the guy next to us said:

“Excuse me, I couldn’t help but overhear you.

Can I ask you something?

My son is dating a woman who comes from a family of so-called spiritual leaders.

And they talk about some really out there things.

And hey… I believe in love and energy, too.

But they get really extreme.

And also: Can we talk about organized religion?”

(Homeboy was all up in our business.)

“If organized religion would focused on the things you guys were just talking about, everybody would be into it.

But they try to control and….”

I had to interject.

“Hi, there! Ok: hang on one second.

Here’s the advice I’ll give you about your son and about the religion thing.

But it also applies to every subject ever.

Here’s what you do:

You’ve just gotta eat the meat and leave the bones.”

“Ahhhh.” he said, instantly understanding my meaning.

And that’s the advice I’ll share with you today.

Whenever you’re faced with new concepts, thoughts, systems or ideas, paradigms or new ways of being, and you’re drawn to some parts of them but disagree with other parts, you don’t have to prove how smart you are by critiquing or “sciencing” them until all the energy, juice, joy and delight is gone.

A science guy I once knew used to talk about how science sparks more questions than it settles, anyway.

Let that sink in.

Science is about questions, explorations, wonder, awe. Not settling everything. It’s not even the right lens for understanding most human things.

And misapplying the scientific method will jack you up.

It’ll make you miss your blessings.

One of my beloved clients is fearful of flying, and working through that as we speak. She recently shared an article with what she felt was a disturbing headline:

No One Knows Why Planes Stay in the Sky.

This might be true, though many can describe the forces that keep planes aloft.

But know what else is true? No one knows why the Earth stays suspended in space, either.

Or why you stay on the ground.

Science labels these phenomena, and creates predictive rules for understanding and leveraging them, but you don’t have to understand gravity to be secure on the ground where you stand.

It just is.

Gravity was a reality that humans lived and benefitted from way before anyone called it a scientific law.

You can experience something as real without science having validated it.

I’m certain that 1,000 years from now, humans will look back at what we call scientific fact and call it “cute”.

We don’t even KNOW what all we don’t know.

So when I say this Universe is abundant, that it is conspiring for you to thrive and that you can trust life to be good to you, you can choose to find and argue evidence to the contrary.

And you’ll find it.

Or you can choose to look at the fact that your lungs and the atmosphere of our Earth have been conspiring to keep you alive for all these decades — without your effort, knowledge or participation — as deeply resonant evidence that this Universe is conspiring for your good.

And when you appreciate your body in this way, your body will reward you with vitality, energy, and even more life.

I meet so many brilliant, thinking people who live in a chronic state of depression, disconnection and disdain because their brilliant, thinking minds are squeezing the beauty out of the unprovable concepts and imperfectly stated but beautiful wisdom that would give them life if they could let it in.

Your life is giving you abundant proofs that all is well with you.

But your culture is giving you abundant messages that say all is scarce.

Don’t let culture win.

Don’t let culture convince you.

See, culture has convinced many “thinking” people that intelligence and spirit can’t coexist.

Culture has convinced many “thinking” people that they are consumers, even of ideas, so that they must receive perfectly packaged “products” of even wisdom and spiritual insight and reject anything that doesn’t meet airbrushed, polished standard of consumer packaged goods.

Yo.

That ain’t even hown spiritual wisdom works.

You are the master and sovereign of your own thoughts, beliefs and connection with the Divine.

You don’t have to accept anything that doesn’t sit well in your spirit. Ever.

No matter WHO says it.

But you don’t have to throw the baby out with the bathwater.

You don’t have to choose sides between intellect and Spirit.

You DO get to take what works for you.

And you DO get to leave the rest right where it is.

And when you do, you’ll find yourself being your own inner nurturant parent, giving yourself the spiritual nutrition you, personally, want and need to experience inner wellbeing, actualize your potentials and answer the callings of your soul.

When you start eating the meat and leaving the bones, you become spiritually independent.

When you start eating the meat and leaving the bones, you opt out of the people-who-believe-that-vs-people-who-believe-this industrial complex.

You opt out of the perpetual hunger of your soul. Always hungry. Always seeking.

You opt out of waiting to be spoon-fed the “just right” spiritual porridge that is palatable to the other “smart ones” and unoffensive and limp and devoid of the energy and charge and radically loving, counter-cultural truth it takes to give yourself a shot at true awakening and actualization in this life.

Listen: It is a waste of precious life force to constantly critique, litigate and try to prove or disprove matters of soul and spirit anyway.

They aren’t provable.

So why not adopt a default rule of taking things in, trusting your own Inner Guidance, feeling for inner resonance, eating the meat and leaving the bones?

Or, as my student Jeanne says: “Eat the candy and leave the wrapper.”

Try this out. See if you can’t let a little more spiritual nutrition in.

Let me know how it goes.

Head up + heart out,

Tara-Nicholle Nelson, MA, Esq.
Founder + CEO of SoulTour

@taranicholle on FB | TW | IG | LI

If you click a link to an e-commerce site and make a purchase, we may receive a small cut of the revenue, which helps support what we do.

Transformation Tuesday | Aren’t you tired of feeling misunderstood 🙁

When I free write every morning, my #1 priority is to offload anything that feels like a grudge or grievance, no matter how small.

I’ve learned that if I let them grow, they almost always turn into creative blocks. Or money blocks. Or love blocks. 

So I follow the advice of our dear Patron Saint Julia Cameron: I put the drama on the page, and I leave the drama on the page.

A while back, I noticed a pattern: When I tracked these baby grudglets to their roots, almost all of them started out with a moment in time when I felt misunderstood.

Here’s a pretty common fact pattern:

  • In conversation with someone, they say something about what I must be thinking, feeling or doing
  • And they’re wrong 
  • But the context is so trivial it doesn’t make sense for me to try to correct them
  • Or I do correct them and they still don’t seem to get it
  • So I’m irritated
  • And the next day, I’m still irritated
  • So I write it out.

Over the years, I’ve learned that living a masterful life requires practicing the fine art of minding my own business.

My business is my thoughts, my emotions and my actions.

My business is my relationship with myself and my Source.

My business is not to persuade, cajole or beg anyone else to understand me.

I’ve chosen instead — and I continue to practice a million times a week — to practice releasing the need to even feel understood.

Follow me here:

  1. Taking things personally is the #1 source of drama between humans.
  2. Being able to move through life independently of the opinions of other people is the #1 liberation lever from that drama.
  3. When you expect others to understand you and they don’t, it’s almost inevitable that you’ll take that personally and get in your feelings (this is what the kids might call ‘butthurt’).
  4. No one — not even the people who love you unconditionally — can fully understand you 100% of the time, even if they try very hard.

Because no one else is you.

No one else has the exact mix of experiences, beliefs and talents you do.

No one has the relationship with your Inner Being, Source, Spirit and All That Is that you do.

No one has your intuition or your calling. 

No one has learned exactly what you’ve learned about life.

No one possesses the precise, brilliant mix of inborn Divine Coding for Genius, personal history, ancestral potentials and collective wisdoms that your existence represents.

So when you’re seeking to be understood, you’re asking someone to do the impossible.

Which means you’re setting both you and them up for inevitable dissatisfaction.

And that’s not all.

In the effort to feel understood, you almost always end up telling a struggle story, which is the opposite of the story you want to practice if you want to live a magical, masterful life.

Now listen: Everyone loves to feel held, heard, seen and understood.

But I want to open up a new possibility: that you can feel held, heard and seen by people in your life even when they do not fully understand you.

In fact, you can feel and be approved of and loved by people who actively misunderstand you or disagree with your decisions.

Don’t believe me?

Think about the times you extend affection and approval to others, even when you don’t 100% understand or agree with them.

The desire to feel understood is often just a pretext for the need for approval or the need to be right.

These are just different ways of asking permission to make the moves you want to make in life.

If you’re waiting on approval, validation or permission, you’re watering down the edge you have access to: the pure power that comes from moving forward in life based on the Infinite Intelligence that flows through you in the form of inspiration, resonance, Inner Wisdom, intuition.

Three things happen when you stop seeking to be understood:

  1. You begin to move through life much more freely and easily.
  2. Your interpersonal drama decreases.
  3. The joy and speed of your personal expansion increases.

Oh and one more thing:

Your relationships get better.

Way better.

Because when you practice your way out of needing to feel understood all the time, you do everyone around you a massive favor: you take them off the hook for your feelings.

This feels weird at first, especially if you have a history of being an approval seeker, people pleaser or achievement junkie.

But when you stop focusing so hard on getting people to understand you, over time, you’ll naturally begin focusing instead on the most important relationships in your life:

  • the relationship between you and your Source, and
  • the relationship between you and you.

And soon, you’ll learn how to feel good regardless of whether you feel misunderstood or not.

You’ll learn skills for returning to that good feeling whenever you want to or need to.

You’ll learn how to build on that feeling good momentum, so you can go from occasional, fleeting moments of goodness to a continuous drumbeat of freedom, ease, growth, joy and love.

That’s how you become invincible. 

P.S: Is it possible to become totally free of the desire to be understood? 

Maybe so, maybe not.

But you can definitely release a lot of it.

Visualize it as a ball you’ve got clenched in your hand.

And now: drop it.

And now: Sit still and feel all that energy, all that life force, flowing back into you.

Head up + heart out,

P.S.: Want more like this? Become a SoulTour subscriber for just $11 a month.

Tara-Nicholle Kirke, MA, Esq.
The Inner Critic Coach™️
Founder + CEO of SoulTour

@taranichollekirke on FB | TW | IG | LI

Transformation Tuesday | Aren’t you tired of feeling misunderstood 🙁

>> Here’s the AUDIO of today’s Transformation Tuesday.

When I free write every morning, my #1 priority is to offload anything that feels like a grudge or grievance, no matter how small.

I’ve learned that if I let them grow, they almost always turn into creative blocks. Or money blocks. Or love blocks. 

So I follow the advice of our dear Patron Saint Julia Cameron: I put the drama on the page, and I leave the drama on the page.

A while back, I noticed a pattern: When I tracked these baby grudglets to their roots, almost all of them started out with a moment in time when I felt misunderstood.

Here’s a pretty common fact pattern:

  • In conversation with someone, they say something about what I must be thinking, feeling or doing
  • And they’re wrong 
  • But the context is so trivial it doesn’t make sense for me to try to correct them
  • Or I do correct them and they still don’t seem to get it
  • So I’m irritated
  • And the next day, I’m still irritated
  • So I write it out.

Over the years, I’ve learned that living a masterful life requires practicing the fine art of minding my own business.

My business is my thoughts, my emotions and my actions.

My business is my relationship with myself and my Source.

My business is not to persuade, cajole or beg anyone else to understand me.

I’ve chosen instead — and I continue to practice a million times a week — to practice releasing the need to even feel understood.

Follow me here:

  1. Taking things personally is the #1 source of drama between humans.
  2. Being able to move through life independently of the opinions of other people is the #1 liberation lever from that drama.
  3. When you expect others to understand you and they don’t, it’s almost inevitable that you’ll take that personally and get in your feelings (this is what the kids might call ‘butthurt’).
  4. No one — not even the people who love you unconditionally — can fully understand you 100% of the time, even if they try very hard.

Because no one else is you.

No one else has the exact mix of experiences, beliefs and talents you do.

No one has the relationship with your Inner Being, Source, Spirit and All That Is that you do.

No one has your intuition or your calling. 

No one has learned exactly what you’ve learned about life.

No one possesses the precise, brilliant mix of inborn Divine Coding for Genius, personal history, ancestral potentials and collective wisdoms that your existence represents.

So when you’re seeking to be understood, you’re asking someone to do the impossible.

Which means you’re setting both you and them up for inevitable dissatisfaction.

And that’s not all.

In the effort to feel understood, you almost always end up telling a struggle story, which is the opposite of the story you want to practice if you want to live a magical, masterful life.

Now listen: Everyone loves to feel held, heard, seen and understood.

But I want to open up a new possibility: that you can feel held, heard and seen by people in your life even when they do not fully understand you.

In fact, you can feel and be approved of and loved by people who actively misunderstand you or disagree with your decisions.

Don’t believe me?

Think about the times you extend affection and approval to others, even when you don’t 100% understand or agree with them.

The desire to feel understood is often just a pretext for the need for approval or the need to be right.

These are just different ways of asking permission to make the moves you want to make in life.

If you’re waiting on approval, validation or permission, you’re watering down the edge you have access to: the pure power that comes from moving forward in life based on the Infinite Intelligence that flows through you in the form of inspiration, resonance, Inner Wisdom, intuition.

Three things happen when you stop seeking to be understood:

  1. You begin to move through life much more freely and easily.
  2. Your interpersonal drama decreases.
  3. The joy and speed of your personal expansion increases.

Oh and one more thing:

Your relationships get better.

Way better.

Because when you practice your way out of needing to feel understood all the time, you do everyone around you a massive favor: you take them off the hook for your feelings.

This feels weird at first, especially if you have a history of being an approval seeker, people pleaser or achievement junkie.

But when you stop focusing so hard on getting people to understand you, over time, you’ll naturally begin focusing instead on the most important relationships in your life:

  • the relationship between you and your Source, and
  • the relationship between you and you.

And soon, you’ll learn how to feel good regardless of whether you feel misunderstood or not.

You’ll learn skills for returning to that good feeling whenever you want to or need to.

You’ll learn how to build on that feeling good momentum, so you can go from occasional, fleeting moments of goodness to a continuous drumbeat of freedom, ease, growth, joy and love.

That’s how you become invincible. 

P.S: Is it possible to become totally free of the desire to be understood? 

Maybe so, maybe not.

But you can definitely release a lot of it.

Visualize it as a ball you’ve got clenched in your hand.

And now: drop it.

And now: Sit still and feel all that energy, all that life force, flowing back into you.

Head up + heart out,

Tara-Nicholle Nelson, MA, Esq.
Founder + CEO of SoulTour

@taranicholle on FB | TW | IG | LI

If you click a link to an e-commerce site and make a purchase, we may receive a small cut of the revenue, which helps support what we do.

Transformation Tuesday | Simple, drunk or insane

>> Here’s the AUDIO of today’s Transformation Tuesday.

Our dear old Uncle Rumi wrote: 

I must have been incredibly simple or drunk or insane
to sneak into my own house and steal money,
to climb over my own fence and take my own vegetables.
But no more. I have gotten free of that ignorant fist
that was pinching and twisting my secret self.
The universe and the light of the stars come through me.
I am the crescent moon put up
over the gate to the festival.

This — this idea of an ignorant fist of your own, pinching and twisting your own secret self, full of Universal light — this might be the best description of the Trance of Unworthiness, the best description of self-judgment, that I’ve ever heard.  

How have you been pinching and twisting your secret self? 

How have you been judging yourself? How have you been critiquing yourself? 

What have you been anticipating that “they” won’t approve of about you, so you’ve been withholding your own approval of yourself? 

Let me tell you something:

I know that this world says “the struggle is real”. 

The struggle is not real. 

If you can read or listen to this lesson, “the struggle is real” is a lie. 

However, the struggle feels very real.

It feels real, but it’s not true.

As long as there is anything about YOU: your body, your life, your ways of being, even your feelings and reactions that you are treating with anything less than warmth, hospitality and radical approval, your struggle will feel real.

And that’s because your Inner Wisdom — the voice of God that speaks to you within you  — knows the truth that you are a perfect drop of the Divine, made flesh. 

You are created in that image. 

You are offspring of the Divine.

So anytime you judge or shit talk yourself, anytime you resist the reality of who you are or what you are or how the process of life works, you will feel like the struggle is very real, because to judge and critique yourself or your reality is to create an Inner War between the Divine You and the conditioned you, the programmed you, that is shaming or judging or critiquing yourself or pushing against your realities. 

During this Inner War, you will feel like the struggle is real, because to judge yourself, track your progress, judge your process or rush your process creates turbulence in your system that shuts yourself off from all the assisting forces and powers of this Universe, which are multitudinous and desire to benefit and help and assist you. 

This is the case even if whatever you are observing about yourself or your life that you would like to change or would like to be different is true. 

The only way to move powerfully and expand easefully from this season to the next without feeling like the struggle is so damn real is to find the Inner Peace that only comes from radical self-acceptance, self-care, self-compassion and self-love.

The only way is to cultivate a deep satisfaction and joy with your life as it is right now, to bloom where you’re planted, as the old church ladies used to say. 

The only way is to suck the vast clarity and power and wisdom out of your current circumstances. 

The only way is to hold the paradox of being deeply satisfied with what is and to simultaneously allow yourself to eagerly desire the fullness of what your soul desires in your next season.

Then you can just go with the flow, even through unwanted circumstances and plot twists, without the struggle feeling real. 

The Indian saint Bapuji wrote: 

My beloved child
Break your heart no longer

Each time you judge yourself you break your own heart
You stop feeding on the love which is the wellspring of your vitality

The time has come, your time
To live, to celebrate and to see the goodness that you are. . . 

Let no one, no thing, no idea or ideal obstruct you
If one comes, even in the name of “truth”, forgive it for its unknowing

Do not fight
Let go
And breathe into the goodness that you are

He didn’t say breathe into the goodness that you have

He said breathe into the goodness that you are.

Catch this principle: Goodness is what you are.

And when you judge yourself — the goodness that you are — you break your own heart. 

This is a tragedy every time, because your heart is where all the resources of this Universe flow. 

Judging yourself includes: 

  • Chronically feeling like there’s something a little bit wrong with you​​​
  • Chronically believing that you have to be perfect or you aren’t worthy of doing a thing at all
  • Sucking it in or poking your cellulite in the mirror
  • Constantly tracking your own progress against your goals or other people’s outer appearances
  • Frequently engaging in self-deprecating humor
  • Silencing yourself in meetings because you’re not sure your ideas are worth voicing
  • Being paralyzed when it comes to marketing or promoting your own products or business or writing
  • Deferring fun, joyful experiences until you’ve lost a certain amount of weight
  • Wishing you didn’t feel how you actually feel
  • Holding your breath until you have a certain amount of money in the bank, and
  • Feeling behind or ashamed that you haven’t achieved some goal yet. 

When you judge yourself, you shut off the pipeline of your sacred resources, including your own inexhaustible inner reservoir of love and intelligence and energy and including the creative power that formed all worlds. 

Self-judgment shuts off this inner pipeline by blinding you to millions of golden opportunities for you to be, do, have, learn and create exactly what your soul came into your meat-covered skeleton for. 

These golden opportunities are all around you, in your current, life right now. 

Because you can only detect, energize and activate those resources through the lens of who you think you are, what you think is possible and what you deem yourself worthy of. 

That’s what Uncle Rumi was talking about when he exclaimed: “You wander from room to room. hunting for the diamond necklace that is already around your neck!”

And that’s what Jesus was talking about when he got frustrated with the people who were going on and on about the coming harvest like some people you know: It’s always coming. It’s never now. 

Jesus got frustrated. In my mind’s eye, he got in their faces and clapped his hands as he said, very loudly: “LOOK. UP.”

Don’t say 4 months until the harvest. 

The fields are ripe right now.

Look. Up.

So, first put on rose-colored glasses of openness and warmth and hospitality and affection and attention and affection and approval of yourself. 

Then… look up.

And ask yourself these breakthrough questions, if you’re really ready to start actualizing your potentials and living the realities you daydream about:

What opportunities to do the callings of your soul are before you right now? 

What resources that you need to do the callings of your soul are available to you right now? 

Are you willing to take one natural-feeling next step toward fully inhabiting your life, your current opportunities, your current resources? 

And finally: What is that natural-feeling next step? 

Don’t write it on your list of things to do.

Don’t put it on your calendar. 

DO IT NOW. 

Head up + heart out,

Tara-Nicholle Nelson, MA, Esq.
Founder + CEO of SoulTour

@taranicholle on FB | TW | IG | LI

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Transformation Tuesday | How to take stock of your life (Checklist inside)

>> Here’s the AUDIO of today’s Transformation Tuesday.

Ram Dass wrote that throughout your life, you should “keep death on your shoulder and identify with your soul.”

I definitely agree with the soul part. That’s what you really are.

But whether you like it or not, occasionally life will put death right on your shoulder. That happened for many of us this weekend with the transitions of Clayton Christensen, Leila Janah and Gianna and Kobe Bryant: all beloved in various communities in my world.

This seemed like a good time to share my own process for taking stock of your life..

About 9-and-a-half years ago, I was 35 years old and had lots going for me in life, but I had a whole lot of drama, too.

So, on my 35th birthday, I decided to take stock. I could see that 40 and 45 were going to come, fast, and I could see that unless I put some sort of change process in place, momentum would continue to carry me into more of the life results I was already getting.

So I took the day, sat down and got really real with myself.

I played the movie forward of what my life was shaping up to be.

And I looked at every part of my life, systematically: Health, Relationships, FInances, Career, and so on.

I was proud that I’d not let being a teen mom stop me. I’d gotten Master’s and law degrees. I’d left the law, which I didn’t love, and gone into real estate. I’d learned how to make more money than I ever thought was possible.

And… I’d also made Very Bad Decisions with men… a couple of times.

And I’d allowed myself to develop some Very Bad Financial Habits, because I could always just make more money.

So the great recession had hit very, very hard.

I’d lost a lot of weight, but I’d done so with some very restrictive, command-and-control food and fitness practices that were flat-out unsustainable and unjoyful.

My marriage was failing. My kids were unhappy and acting out.

I was super susceptible to the opinions and approval of other people, so I just kept working harder, butI I felt like I was spiraling, mentally disorganized, pulled in different directions all the time, and not even really doing meaningful or truly fulfilling work.

I was just doing a lot of work.

I felt proud that I’d exercised a lot of freedom in my life, but I could also see that I ha’d used that freedom to create a lot of bondage for myself.

So on my 35th birthday, I called an audible.

I said “Thanks, God.” And: “I quit.”

I decided to quit the business of doing everything in my life my way, the hard way, on my own.

I decided to begin practicing trust and receiving grace.

I decided to withdraw some of my life force from all the outer endeavors and people and tasks and projects and started to reclaim it and bring it back inward.

I decided to envision my 45 year old self, and what she might want from me, and to start orienting my daily decisions and actions in that general direction.

And very soon, the specifics that were to become the direction of my path, began to reveal itself to me. By grace and in wonderful ways.

At first, my 45-year-old self required some hard things from my 35-year-old self, including making some difficult in the moment choices.

I chose to get divorced.

I chose to move out of my big, beautiful house and into my investment property.

That meant I chose to call that investment a wrap.

I chose to start sitting, praying, studying, reconnecting.

I chose to stop overruling my own Inner Guidance.

I chose to stop ruminating and picking the scabs of my old wounds, and start speaking up, saying what I mean and asking for what I need.

I chose to declare that my parents were good enough and to become my own inner, nurturant parent.

I chose to give up my maverick lifestyle of a real estate agent (temporarily), and at least be open to a day job that would create some guaranteed, bread-and-butter income while I got divorced and got my bearings.

And I chose to take a bunch of writing side hustles, to get myself out of debt.

This process was deeply spiritual and intensely practical.

Was it hard to get that real with myself?

To see what needed seeing and say what needed saying to myself?

It was hard to take the first few steps, sure.

But what began as a series of gifts I was trying to give my 45 year old self turned out to feel like gifts in the moment I began making those shifts.

When I turned 35, I reclaimed sovereignty over my life. 

And things started changing immediately.

This reclamation of sovereignty became the first season, the first stage of a journey into the masterful, magical life I now get to live.

Am I saying that my life now is perfect?

Actually, yes. I am.

I find myself in the perfect place at the perfect time, all the time.

Things happen that are not in my control, but when they do, I know for sure, in the moment that Divine Order is being established, that I am going from success to success, and that even in my unwanted or stressful circumstances I can find wisdom, power, clarity and often even higher and better outcomes than I could have cooked up myself.

When shit gets real in my life now, I know to look for what I stand to learn.

I look for what wonderful things might be coming to me.

Even when my plans are disrupted.

Even when people die.

That’s what life mastery feels like.

It feels like having the courage to take things out of your “unconscious shadows” pile and shine the light of consciousness on them.

It feels like reclaiming sovereignty over your own thoughts, emotions and actions, and not feeling blindsided or at the mercy of your life events.

It feels like understanding, knowing, loving and caring for yourself always, first and lavishly, so you have an ever-clearer understanding of what you want , who you are, how that would feel and clarity about what is getting in the way.

It feels like freedom from your past disappointments and traumas.

It feels like freedom from the trance of chronically seeking other people’s approval. (Trust me. It’s possible.)

It feels like being skillful in how you communicate.

It feels like practicing boundaries and holding others as powerful enough to fix their own shit and live their own lives.

Life mastery is not at all about controlling life or preventing unwanted things from happening.

It’s about awakening. And allowing. And actualizing your potentials.

And doing all of the above with joyful surrender and radical acceptance of how life really works.

Now I’m 44.

And last year, life handed me a bunch of surprises that honestly 10 years ago would have done me in. But, I was able to dive into and thrive through, largely because of the path my 35 year old self set me upon: the gifts I gave myself 10 years ago.

So I’m taking stock again.

I’ve been asking myself for a few months now: “What gifts can I start giving my 55 year old self, right now?”

And I got some clear answers.

They helped me know what I was in the market for.

And I didn’t have to start working hard to make a detailed action plan or figure out how to start real-izing the gifts I envision giving my 10-years-from-now self.

Because as soon as I knew what I was in the market for, the clarity of what gifts I wanted to give Tara in 10 years, all sorts of specific ways I can begin giving these gifts to my 10-years-from-now self started to just light up and line up.

That’s how easeful expansion works.

NOTE: I’ll share more about the gifts I’m now giving my 55 year old self in a few days, but for now I wanted to give you this Life + Self Mastery Checklist I just created.

This Life + Self Mastery Checklist guides you through a 15-minute exercise of systematically taking stock of your life, so you can start giving yourself.

>>> You can download it, FREE, here:  http://soultour.com/lsmchecklist

Head up + heart out,

Tara-Nicholle Nelson, MA, Esq.
Founder + CEO of SoulTour
@taranicholle on FB | TW | IG | LI

P.S.: Five years ago, I wrote an article about 15 things I did when I was 35 to be unstoppable at 40.

You can read it, in HuffingtonPost, here >>

Subscribe to my Transformation Tuesday newsletter here: soultour.com/TTNL

Transformation Tuesday | Stretch, not struggle 🧘🏽‍♀️🙌🏽

>> Here’s the AUDIO of today’s Transformation Tuesday.

My general rule for moving forward on your most important projects, soul callings and life goals with ease and spiritual alignment is this:

Stretch, not struggle.

Start living your intentions by creating goals that feel delicious to you — like a gift you’re giving yourself  — and also feel like they would stretch you to new levels, sparking joyful growth and learning.

Here’s the deal: Your eternal soul came here, into this meat-covered skeleton of yours, specifically for three things. 

Growth and joy are two of the three.

Stretching yourself to do the callings you’re not yet ready to do facilitates growth and joy. (And, as quiet as it’s kept, the only way you can become ready to do your callings is to actually start doing them.)

But the lie of our culture says you’re unworthy of living a wonderful life — with meaningful work you love, beautiful surroundings, financial wealth, a thriving family, and a delectable love life — unless you prove your worthiness via hard hustle or grind. The kind that creates burnout.

And the lie of our culture says even if you do work your heart out to do what you love, you have to continue keeping all those plates in the air in a perfectionistic way or the other shoe will may drop.

So you’d better not take a break.

Better not sit still too long.

Better not enjoy yourself too much. Or celebrate your life too much. Or even allow yourself to spend a little money without fretting and worrying about it.

And you’d certainly better not act too happy without placing exceptions, limitations and caveats all over your own joy.

When all is well with you, you’d better take pains to make sure everyone knows that you know how hard life is for other people or how hard it used to be for you, how far you come, how hard you’re still working or how difficult your life still is.

Celebrating your life without caveats seems like tempting fate, when you are still under the influence of this trance.

Catch this principle: All of that is all a lie of culture. 

Even though everyone you know might believe it: all lies.

That’s why we call it a trance… most people you know believe it because it seems that’s the way the world works.

But here’s the truth: You are worthy of wonderful things, now, with no further ado.

No further delay.

No further conditions.

No further performing.

No more struggle.

No more prerequisites.

You can relax now.

Relax into this truth: You were born to be joyful, loved, and to breathe life into your beautiful ideas… and you’re not just worthy of feeling wonderful when you check the boxes of your Big Goals off of that bucket list in the sky.

You’re worthy of a wonderful life now… and all along the way. 

But until you wake up from the cultural lie – the trance of unworthiness – it feels normal and even virtuous to set your vision and goals in ways that flip your struggle switch straight to ‘on’.

Sometimes, struggle-switch goals are goals you don’t even care that much about, at soul-level. You just set them because you think you should or you are supposed to.

And sometimes, struggle-switch goals are goals you do actually have some innate soul-level desire to do, but you set your action plans for realizing them in such a restrictive, harsh way that just thinking about them sucks all the life force right out of what was originally a beautiful, inspired idea.

So YES. Growth and joy are your objectives, as a being of soul and spirit in this electrical, chemical, beautiful physical body.

But there’s one more spiritual strategy objective of the human experience, and it’s really important: Freedom. 

When you set struggle-switch goals for yourself, you basically exercise your freedom in the direction of creating more bondage for yourself.

You fail to honor your own Inner Guidance.

You divorce your own sweet self when you fail to honor the reality of your own feelings: the voice of the Divine that speaks to you and within you.

You also set yourself up for failure when you set struggle-switch goals because, catch this principle: Whatever you force or restrict, you fixate on.

(Want to know what happens when you decide to eat no carbs? Not only do you want to eat all the carbs, you think about all the carbs all the time.)

On the other hand, when you meet your own inner experience with 100% openness, warmth, approval, hospitality and compassion…

When you say “YES, ok Self, that’s real, I hear you”, when the struggle switch flips on, and you dial back all that forcing so you can focus on inspiration instead…When you practice radical self-acceptance, radical self-compassion, radical self-care, and radical self-love, even as you take steps toward building your transformational business empire, writing your book, co-creating an elevated family, or creating a platform of personal financial wellbeing…

Then, you can expect two things to happen:First: Your goals will quickly start to seem beside the point. Because you’ll have already started living in freedom, growth and joy.

You’ll realize you’re already living in a paradise of your own creation.With no further delay.

No further ado.

No further hard hustle.

No further conditions.

No further prerequisites.

And, second: Your goals start happening.

Fast.

Your daydreams and childhood dreams start to become your actual real life, by grace and in perfectly wonderful, surprising and delightful ways. 

Your whole world starts to change because when you practice radical acceptance and self love you are getting into agreement with your Source, who loves you.

As you team up with the creative power that forms all worlds, everything in your Being that is not consistent, compatible or aligned with your soul’s desires either get fully on board with your desires or shed like a snake’s molten skin.

You are worthy of the very best in life.

You’ll begin to receive it the moment you release resistance to your own magnificence… the moment you stop believing in your own unworthiness.

You are worthy of the very best in life. 

And that life it begins now.

Head up + heart out,

P.S. Today, I’m quietly opening up Early Bird Registration in my Life and Self Mastery Program.

Our first class of 2020 begins February 10th.

Life and Self Mastery is a one-year program of self-discovery, Spiritual Strategy™ and breakthrough coaching for High-Achieving Women led by me and my team of world-class coaches. (FYI – this is the program I used to call the School of Upliftment.)

It’s a year of daily meditations, writing prompts, weekly live sessions, monthly curriculums, ancient wisdom and modern life skills proven to help high-achieving women start living masterful, magical and profitable lives.

And I’ve just elevated the whole program to a whole new level by incorporating individual coaching for every student in the program.

It’s pretty badass, and the Early Bird bonuses are no joke.

If you want to awaken to your own badassery, stop the struggle, get your whole life into alignment and start bringing your own personal magic fully online with the power of spiritual and practical strategy, check it out.

>> Here’s the link: https://soultour.com/lifeandself/ 

Transformation Tuesday | How easy can you let 2020 be? 🌊😌

>> Here’s the AUDIO of today’s Transformation Tuesday.

Today I’m just issuing you a gentle invitation.

I invite you, as you step into your 2020 intentions, to ask yourself this question over and over again: “How easy can I let this be?”

As you may know, 2019 was a year of massive life transition for me. And not all of the transitions were ones I initiated, consciously speaking.

But they were all portals for wonderful things that my Inner Being had clearly desired, without my conscious mind even being in on it.

That was a word for someone right there. Sometimes your Inner Being has clarity on a vision or desire that your conscious mind hasn’t yet caught up with.

Anyhow, all along the way, I practiced staying tuned into the truth that everything in this Universe supports my thriving.

And I practiced reminding myself daily that it all works out for my good in the end, and all along the way, too.

And I took myself up on my own invitation to shift from high-achieving mode to high-allowing and high-receiving mode.

And I challenged myself to let the action I was called to take, to let that action be as easy as it could possibly be.

So I made wonderful progress in cranking on the flow-based, inspiration-driven momentum last year meditating and journaling with the mantra: Let it be easy.

But then I realized that the Ruler in my Archetypes* — that trait in my Divine Wiring  — didn’t even know how easy some things could be.

I was addicted to doing things the hard way.

(And I don’t use the word “addiction” loosely. An addiction is a pattern that is toxic and you know it and you can’t easily stop doing it.)

So yeah. I was addicted to doing things the hard way.

So I made quantum leaps in living a life of spacious, great-feeling, magical-feeling momentum when I shifted my mantra from “let it be easy” to “how easy can I let it be?”

That brings us to your writing prompt for today.

Take 5 minutes and visualize yourself just doing your dreams, living your intentions.

Then write down these words, in your journal: How easy can I let it be?”

Then just write, freely, whatever wants to come up in response to that question.

It might be:

  • Very specific people you know who can help you cut the line to your intention
  • It might be a baby step in the direction of your dream that lights up as a natural next step before you, or
  • It might be a jolt of clarity that you’ve been keeping yourself stuck based on false prerequisites.
  • It might even be a moment of total vault unlocking clarity about what it *really* is that your Inner Being wants you to let be easy in the first place!

Whatever it is, write all about it, then share in the Spiritual Strategy™ for High-Achieving Women Facebook Group.

*NOTE: If you’d like to learn about your own archetypes and how they might be blindsiding you, take my free Sacred Money Archetypes® assessment, here.

Head up + heart out,

Transformation Tuesday | What to do with painful emotions 😞

Brilliant One,

>> Here’s the AUDIO of today’s Practice Guidance.

What do you do with your most intense, most unwanted feelings, like when you feel hurt, rageful or just incredibly sad?

The answer depends on where you are in the journey of your life and your awakening.

When you are a child (chronologically or spiritually), you think and speak and act like a child — and you feel and react to your feelings like a child, too.

And that primal, inborn, immature reaction loop goes like this: You touch the hot stove, you jerk your hand back. The end.

When you’re a child, you do the same thing with your feelings.

The knee-jerk reaction of trying to run from whatever it was that made you feel how you feel, trying not to feel what you feel, jerking back, denying your feelings, building up touchy subjects where you just won’t go, or shoving your feelings down, that sort of Emotional Maturity Level One.

When you mature a tiny bit, you may learn to reframe your feelings, which might make them a tiny bit more tolerable. Sometimes this is appropriate, like reframing fear as excitement, because that’s actually what it is.

All fear is unintegrated excitement.

But other times, reframing is just a slightly more clever way to shove your feelings down, to mute the devastation, or the anticipated devastation: another device for avoiding the full smack of your feelings.

Then, at some point along your path in life, some wise woman might tell you to “feel your feelings”.

So you decide to try that.

And when you do, you a taste the superpower of radically accepting everything about who you are, including how you feel and your experience of living this human life.

Maybe you even learn a little system for this radical acceptance, like the one that is taught by Tara Brock, and when you feel an unwanted feeling you take a sacred pause, and you note it, and you name it, and you investigate it with kindness and great self-compassion and you decline to identify yourself with the emotion but rather let it pass through you.

And at this stage, you might even realize that feeling your feelings allows for the expansion that always follows contraction in this Universe and in your inner world.

And that gets you ready for the mastery stage, in which you begin to do what my teacher David Richo so beautifully articulates when he says to greet your emotions not just with acceptance, but with “warmth” and even “hospitality”.

All of your emotions, even the really shitty feeling ones.

Then he says this: To allow your emotions to “have their career within you.”

Let that land for a minute.

Give your emotions — especially the unwanted ones  — the time, space and respect they need to course through you and do their work within you.

Let them do their job of clarifying what you deeply do and do not want in your life.

Let your emotions do their job of surfacing old, childhood wounds and abandonments that need acknowledging, grieving and letting go so that you can go free.

Let your anger do its work of awakening you to boundaries violated.

And let your all-encompassing, overwhelming, disproportionate emotional reactions to things that are happening today be your detector of the ancient voids within you that are only fillable by Divine love, so you can stop looking for love in all the wrong places, open your heart to Divine Love and use person you encounter as an excuse to flow that perfect, Divine Love all over and into.

Let your emotions do their work of awakening from old, broken blueprints you’ve allowed to become the stories that are living you.

And let them do their work of cleansing and energizing you, requiring you to rest for a time in the limitless love that formed all worlds and knows and loves every hair on your head.

Allow your emotions to do their work within you and those most dreaded, most unwanted feelings will come to an end.

Because you’ve allowed their purpose to be fulfilled.

But before they end, they spark an alchemy of crystalline focus, and clarity, and joy, as they end their career and return you wholer than you ever been into the present moment, so you can begin to live new blueprints, new templates for relationships, and love, and creative fulfillment.

All week, I’ve been micro obsessed with this poem from Rilke’s Book of Hours:

God speaks to each of us as he makes us,
then walks with us silently out of the night.

These are the words we dimly hear:

You, sent out beyond your recall,
go to the limits of your longing.
Embody me.

Flare up like a flame
and make big shadows I can move in.

Let everything happen to you: beauty and terror.
Just keep going. No feeling is final.

Don’t let yourself lose me.

In the mastery stage of emotional maturity, you may even realize that the brilliant Rilke needed a tiny edit when he wrote to let both beauty and terror happen to you.

Because your unwanted emotions — including and especially the universal terror of feeling unloved — they’re not actually happening to you.

They are happening for you.

They are happening to surface for you the folly and impossibility of looking for your mate or your achievements or your wealth to fill the void that only God-love can fill.

And it’s precisely when you learn to let beauty and terror happen for you and have their career within you that you realize their job is to bring you back to this limitless Divine love, which is already coursing through the center of your heart and is always available to you.

And then one day the emotions retire, their career ends, your tears dry. And they reveal whole edifices of Spirit and infrastructures of brilliance and topographies of joy and love within you.

And that, my friend, is what you do with unwanted emotions:

You let them have their career within you.

You let them do their job.

And then you let them retire.

Head up + heart out,