“What brings you to me?” I asked this powerhouse woman who had discovered me via my class in Simon Sinek’s school.
“What’s the issue that you think about, worry about, fear or dream about the most?”
“What thought loop is taking up the most of your mental bandwidth these days” I asked her.
“I’m 39. And I think I know what I want out of life but I’m not sure. My general feeling is the sense that I’m running out of time.”
My average student and client is already smart and successful and knows it. Very high-functioning. Has already done a ton of personal growth work.
But they are also somewhat unfulfilled.
They are successful, but still feel like they’ve got potential they haven’t yet fulfilled.
And they virtually all feel like they’re running out of time… especially in COVID’s wake. The gift of COVID is the reminder that we’ll all die someday, which is a gift because it’s a rapid priority resetter, but until we recalibrate our paradigms and actualize our own unique strengths?
if you’ve been feeling like you’re running out of time in your life to be as successful as you know you’re destined to be…
If you feel like you’re running out of time in your life to live the meaningful life of radiant health, financial wealth, love, wisdom and lick-the-plate creative fulfillment…
If you know there are things you’ve always wanted to do and you somehow are still holding yourself back from doing them…
Let’s reclaim your time, like Auntie Maxine. Here we go in the three steps of my Spiritual Strategies for Success framework:
Recalibration
Actualization
Alignment
Recalibration.
If you want to break free from the shackles of the feeling that you’re running out of time, you must first recalibrate a few things:
Recalibrate what you think you know about time
Recalibrate your nervous system
Recalibrate what you believe is possible
Recalibrate what you believe is available to you
Recalibrate what “success” even means to you
***
Time scarcity is a lie.
(Side note: Money scarcity, is a lie, too. It’s fiction, Brilliant One. See, fear is the real opiate of the masses, not religion. The fear of “not enough” keeps people afraid and acting like good little cogs in the machine, so the machine keeps feeding the fear.)
The truth is that time is money is energy.
And energy is infinite, once you learn how to feed it by taking a sacred pause on “reacting” mode, tapping back into your natural strengths and powers, reconnecting to Source and opening your inner pipeline every single day, with your daily rituals.
So, what if I told you that you could create time… and you could move through your life knowing you had all the time in the world?
Sure, there’s time management, though that has diminishing returns. You can create a little space on your calendar by being very, very selective about what you agree to be reliable, responsible and available to.
You can—and should—create some space on your calendar by learning how to say no and how to say it unapologetically. If you say no to a thing that would have taken an hour but you spend an hour ruminating about how to say no, an hour discussing your fears about what might happen if you say no on Facebook and 3 hours backpedaling on your no, you see where that math gets you?
It gets you in the red. So ditch the apologies. We do have all the time in the world, but we DON’T have time to play these unworthiness games of this bullshit culture anymore, Brilliant One.
So after you’re done some calendar clearing and boundary skill-building, you can start creating a TON of time by getting your ass into your zone of genius and spending more and more and more time there everyday.
Your goal is that your daily life and your zone of genius become virtually one and the same.
And what’s fun about your zone of genius is that, when you’re there, you get to create time using the power of your wholehearted, unequivocal YES.
And YES just feels better than no, doesn’t it? A highly-aligned, deeply resonant YES… feels delicious.
Actualization
Don’t let this culture get you twisted: Actualization is not about excellence.
It’s not about performing.
It’s not about CONFORMING.
And it sure ain’t about producing.
It’s not about hard work or even about achieving goals, even, per se.
True actualization is about genius.
It’s about discovering your unique, personal genius…and the genius of the other people around you… and learning how to leverage it all for the benefit of all.
It’s about understanding potentials and breaking self-sabotage patterns.
It’s about practicing the self-awareness to see your upper limits and about learning all the Spiritual Strategies of successfully dissolving them.
At my talk last week, two brothers who were co-founding a startup asked me two questions that are germane here:
How can we find our zone of genius?
Are you saying we should be building our business as much as possible in our zone of genius?
I answered: If you can build your career, your business and your LIFE in your zone of genius—AND YOU CAN—then you SHOULD.
Because your zone of genius is part of your sacred contract. It’s part of what your soul came here to do. It’s part of what human evolution is asking you to do. It’s the vehicle to you fulfilling yourself as you came here to be fulfilled.
Your zone of genius is also your path of least resistance and your path of most financial wealth and your path of most lick-the-plate joy. It’s how the Divine speaks to you within you, giving you a step-by-step roadmap to the life of greatness, meaning and prosperity you came here to live (that’s why you want it).
And here’s how you’ll find it:
Not by sitting in a room thinking about it, though there are plenty of prompts and exercises and reflections and self-inquiries that can help. And people around you are often seeing and noting and naming your zone of genius for you for YEARS before you can see it yourself.
You’ll find your zone of genius by being in the world. Acting on inspiration. Making decisions and trying things out.
You know about extroverts and introverts, right? That’s just a way we talk about what people need to charge their batteries. Extroverts charge them off other people and introverts charge them alone.
Well, your Zone of Genius is like that, too. When you’re in your Zone of Excellence—the limitation zone—you are really great at the work, but it drains your batteries.
When you’re in your Zone of Genius—the liberation zone—you are the greatest of all time at the work you’re doing, but it charges your batteries.
Being in your Zone of Genius lights you up and recharges your energy… it actually creates time, because you can be 50-500X as fruitful when you’re in your Zone of Genius than when you’re slogging away doing the excellent, but depleting things other people want you to do.
Alignment
Now—after the paradigm shifts of recalibration, after you’ve discovered your zone of genius and assented to get into it—now is the time for alignment, aka inspired action.
Now is when you can blow up, re-envision, reimagine or download new goals that:
Align your inner and outer worlds
Aligns your goals to what really matters to you
Aligns your livelihood and your work—the activities that occupy the majority of your precious moments of life—to your Zone of Genius.
Alignment must follow recalibration, because if you try to graft alignment work onto broken beliefs like “hard work is virtuous” or “I need to prove my worthiness to charge a lot of money” you will literally create a career, a business or even a family that recreates and perpetuates that broken worldview.
True Alignment creates EMPIRES with mind-blowing ease.
With real Alignment work, your hardest work is your inner work.
Getting unresistant…
Letting the building blocks of Divine Order fall into place in your mind, your body and your affairs…
Placing the cosmic order…
Practicing Buddhist detachment to how it looks when it shows up…
Keeping yourself in connection with Source and keeping your Pipeline open
Showing up with 100% of who you are and following the golden threads of inspiration that drop into your Pipeline…
Continuously seeing what needs seeing and breaking the pull of your own self-sabotage patterns.
Staying loose…
Letting things take the time it takes…
Sitting on your hands to refrain from tracking, rushing or judging your own progress.
Last week I had this wonderful day of FINDING highly-aligned components of my own Big Dreams.
One powerful day of alignment, where it felt like a (maybe) book agent, a right-fit au pair, a house in Mexico and much more just fell into place.
And from the outside looking in, it seemed like the heavens had just opened up and rained down.
And they had.
But the truth is that this powerful day of alignment was pre-paved by the preceding years of intention-setting and inner work, capacity-building work, skill-building work, all the breakdown to breakthrough work of learning how to ask for and get genius help, seeing my own dysfunctional patterns of under leveraging my assets work, loop-closing decision-making work, asking Spirit to show me the way and receiving the answers work.
My intention here was to give you a glimpse into the ongoing, deep inner work of Spiritual Strategy when we go from a so-called problem—”it feels like I’m running out of time” —to solutions that resolve that problem but also take you to levels of health, wealth, wisdom, joy, love and self-expression that you might not have known were possible before.
I just wanted to tell you this little story that explains why I have these little ceramic birds, all over my desk all over my house.
They were inspired.
And I think we should be inspired as we work as we build our empires.
They were inspired by the story I read a long time ago, that was written by Anne Lamott. And it was like her own life story.
So she told this story about how when she was a little kid, she lived in California, she grew up in California. California has a penchant for giving small children these really big projects they work on all year in school.
So there was this project that her brother had received as a homework assignment at the beginning of the year. And it was this really comprehensive, like, he had to write about a report that included coverage of all these different kinds of birds. He had been given the whole school year to do this report. And it was due the next day, and he hadn’t even started.
So imagine you’re a little kid, and you’re just kind of freaking out. You’re like, “oh, my gosh, I gotta do this report on all these birds haven’t even begun. It’s due tomorrow.”
So she says he’s sitting down at the kitchen table, and his dad sits down with him. And the dad’s like, “what’s happening? What’s wrong?” And the kid says, “I got this whole, this whole report, it’s due tomorrow, I don’t even know where to begin.”
And the dad says, “You know what, let’s just take it bird. By bird. Let’s just take it Bird by Bird.”
So I like to tell that story as I coach people on building the empires of their soul.
Well, first is that goes people are just self-actualizing, you know, discovering who they really are, and what they really want out of life, starting to do their dreams, upgrading the dream. So they can fall in love with their future.
Then starting to understand their own unique sacred contracts their unique spirits and strengths and shadows, so they can actualize their true sacred self, and then doing the action of aligning to it.
So as I work with people on all of those things, it’s really common for people for grown smart, successful and repress and unfulfilled people who are wondering if they’re going to run out of time in their life before they ever start doing the things that they’ve always wanted to do. It’s very common that people feel the same way that little boy felt at the table in the kitchen. You know, having like you’ve had this assignment, your for so long, and you haven’t started and now it feels like you’re running out of time. Right?
And so what’s really helpful is for you to know that you can’t just start taking action, but usually if you just start taking action, without doing the underlying actualization work, the self discovery work, the understanding of who you really are, and why you’re really here and what your wiring is and how you work, right so that you can work with it instead of trying to fix it or change it.
And if you start doing that action to try to get in alignment with your callings in alignment with your desire to fulfill your potential without first doing some some recalibration work recalibrating of your actual goals, recalibrating of your beliefs, recalibrate breaking of your, frankly, your nervous system, all the systems, your nervous system, your belief system, your system systems, you got to do recalibration first, then you do actualization first, then you do the alignment work the action work.
When you first start doing that, oh, well, if you don’t do all of those things in that order, usually what will happen is you’ll start doing some alignment works and time management works and productivity work some you know, trying to take action word and the inner struggles which will flip on because you’ll have great inner conflict between the actions that you’re trying to take in your underlying beliefs or paradigms.
Or maybe there’ll be great inner conflict between the actions you’re trying to take and what your wise inner being really, really wants. What you’re really wired well to do.
I did that for years as I was trying to like run businesses and have you know big careers or big jobs that involves a lot of doing when my archetypal you my wiring is ruler, so my job is to actually stay out of jobs that require me to do a lot of doing and instead staying in roles and positions where my whole job is to set the vision write the vision, make it plain, inspire magnetize attract all all the right components of that vision, including all the right people, to help build the Empire, and then build the, you know, build the empire without ever swinging the hammer Personally, myself.
That’s where I have the most impact in the world in my life, when I started to learn about the archetypes and I reflected on my past jobs, like that’s why I was so effective at my fitness pal, we grew a company really rapidly and a customer base really rapidly. In part because I could grow a I grew up program internally in a marketing team internally, where I was doing very, very little executing, but I was doing a live I poured my heart and soul into vision, resourcing, you know, protecting my people so that they could execute on the vision and making sure that I stated my zone of genius and delegating into their zones of genius. That was that was how we were able to get such results.
That’s how Solter in the in the other work that I’m doing right now is starting to be incredibly effective as I stay in my zone of genius and delegate into their zones of genius, right not expecting people to be all things are, work their hearts out.
So as you first come into a place of trying to do alignment with vision work in your life, or in your own business or in your own career, know first that you need to have done the actualization work, the self discovery work. The recalibration work, the ritual, the daily ritual work. And also know that even then it can be really daunting. Sometimes when you recalibrate the vision. I know when I recalibrated my vision, in accordance with what I had learned about myself and what I had learned about this universe and how it works in my role in it, the vision I recalibrated to was way, way way vaster than anything I had ever thought about or dreamed or imagined before. So it was way bigger. And it felt just right.
There are those humans among us that have a destiny to build big, great, and big things for the benefit of us all. And if you’re one of those people, you may have been taught your whole life that you got to start small and build up, you may have been taught your whole life that you got to do these incremental things, prove that you’re trustworthy, I used to do that in church all the time. If you can show God that you are trustworthy with a little then you can grow and get a lot. Maybe that’s sometimes how it works. But what I know is if you have wiring for empire building in your spirit, and you are trying to build small things, the chances you will be successful building the small, you may learn a lot along the way trying to build some small things, you may mature in your own teaching or your own understanding of your own sacred genius along the way, you may feel some other things in your life along the way. That’s what happened to me.
But it was really clear in my business, and in my life, it was it’s always been easier for me to sell six figure things and to sell five figure or than to sell $40 things, right? So we kind of just got to a place where we’re like, wait a second, maybe that’s not the business we should be in of trying to sell the $40 things even though that’s what everybody else does, even though that would be accessible to a lot of people. Right? That’s we needed to start big, and then you know, move into more and more accepted accessible offerings. And that’s just when it sort of started to click for me, that’s when I started to get critical mass and critical traction for me, because I wasn’t running through my spiritual and emotional runway trying to do hard things for little dollars.
So if that may be you, you may come into a place where you do the actual recalibration work, you do some actualization work, this is paradigm work, right? You reset your vision, you set it in alignment with who you really are, you begin to do the alignment work of lining up what you care about the most with your identity with your beliefs, with the decisions that you make, with the way you manage your time in your projects, with your systems, with your environments. And I mean, we could be talking about a business as well as we could be talking about our love life, as well as we could be talking about a physical body system as well as we could be talking about a home, a family.
So you do that work.
And sometimes the vision that comes through is smaller than you thought, like I know in my personal life for a long time, the vision needed to shift from you know, whatever, having whatever kind of family or relationship or whatever it needed to shift to developing inner peace. It needed to downsize for a while into first just developing inner peace and doing all the shadow work and light work that went along with that.
And then in other areas of my life, the vision was super expanding, right. And all of this is just for a season.
So anyway, once you expand the vision to where it needs to be, for the to be, once you right sides, the vision for where you and your spirit are at this season of your this life, you may feel a bit like the little boy at the table, you might feel like you’re behind which you are not because you cannot be behind, you are always in the perfect place at the perfect time. Every moment of your in every moment of your life, wherever you are right now. You can discover great wisdom and clarity and direction and strength and joy to be found in your right now circumstances.
Just rushing yourself tracking yourself judging that where you’re at right now is somehow wrong or that you’re wrong for being right there is the fastest way to shut off your inner pipeline of inspiration. So don’t ever do that right now is perfect, divine timing is real, and it’s in your favor.
But if you should get to a moment in your life where you feel like the recalibration has started to work, and you reset the vision, and you’re like, overwhelmed by what’s coming through, I want you to do what I did at the when I stood on the brink of looking at the empire that wanted to be built through me.
I want you to remember that you are building the empire of your soul, I want you to take up that it considers spirit having laid the gauntlet and you take it up knowing that you’ll have the right mentors, the right assistance, the right guides, the right tools will show up for you. That’s why you’re watching this right now.
And I want you to remember that you are just going to build your empire, the Empire of your soul, you’re just going to build it bird, by Bird, you’re just going to take the natural next step that lights up for you. Today, the next hour, the next hour the next day. And some days what will light up for you is that the right next step is to write the vision and to make it plain.
Sometimes the right next step is going to be the three year action plan. Right? Sometimes the right next step is going to be to stay out of action planning and just show up to that meeting today with a really uniquely powerful, clear intention for the relationship between the people in that meeting.
Sometimes you’ll show up in a day, and you’ll just surrender your calendar and you’ll say, “I give thanks. So the divine genius plan for my life now comes to pass under grace. And in a perfect way, I now release all resistance to any element or stage of that plan. And I give thanks for knowing that every moment of every day, including every moment of this day is an element and stage of that plan. So I surrender my calendar. I have a plan for what I’m going to do today. And I surrender my calendar to divine right order and divine right timing, knowing that I will always end up in the perfect place in the perfect time.”
And you know, sometimes that sounds very grand. But sometimes what that looks like is this.
Like I did that, you know there was a day last week when I felt that on my heart. So that was part of my ritual for the morning. And as I drive and dropped off Londyn at school afterwards, I thought, “you know, I’m going to stop and grab a cup of tea at this coffee shop that it’s a new newly built coffee shop in an old shopping center that I had never, I’d never stepped in there.” So I stopped in there. And it’s lovely the way they had done it with you know, Redwoods in this shopping center and just a really cozy little shop.
So I went in and got a cup of tea. And then as I was wandering out, I realized there was a whole strip of commercial real estate that still open right behind this coffee shop. And I called the broker and was just like, “hey, I’m Tara, you know, I own SoulTour. And here’s what we do there. And I own 9Round, the kickboxing studio at Lake Merritt. And I see you have a couple of spaces here and I’m not really in the market for space, but I could kind of see some things here. Like maybe I could do another studio over here or maybe, you know SoulTour is wanting to create a world-class media recording center. So something I don’t know, can I see him?”
He’s like, “Yeah, come see him.” So you know, and I went to see them. They were awesome. So, will you know I will continue to take the natural next step I will continue to look for yes signals, and I will follow those yes signals and I will follow them enthusiastically and without trying to ever analyze like Rumi Rumi said do not analyze enthusiasm. I won’t analyze enthusiasm. I won’t ask questions, I won’t try to explain it, I won’t try to make it all be logical and linear and make sense, I will follow the path of inspiration. Because I’ve seen where that gets me in life. And while my brain is a really good one, and I’ve gotten really far in life on hard effort and hard work, the transcendent experiences of building business, the transcendent moments, when I’ve had someone hand me a check for millions of dollars, and it wasn’t hard.
The seasons of my life, which now I only live this way where I get up, I get excited to get up in the morning to do the work. That’s the work that’s before me because I get to work with the best people on the planet, doing rendezvousing with them while they’re in their zone of genius. And I’m in my zone of genius for the benefit of all. Yeah, I’ll do it for great money. I’ll be there. Right?
All of those times, didn’t come about through my hard work, my heart effort, my might, my making, figuring it all out and making it all happen and going so hard that there’s nothing of me left. Those moments came from just taking them naturally. And feeling that step that lit up before me step by step, day by day, week by week, quarter by quarter, month by month, year by year, letting things take the time they take and Oh, yeah. Bird, by Bird.
So we give thanks to Anne Lamott for that, you know, visual device of bird by bird, and I give thanks to you too, for listening for co-creating this sort of new season of awakening for all of us for this collective.
So if you got something good feeling to you out of this video, please like it and share it and subscribe to me on whatever channel you’re on. Always feel free to go to soultour.com/signup as well as get on our free newsletter list and we’ll invite you into some deeper experiences to work with me and to be in our energy over the coming weeks and months and years.
So I love you. This is Tara-Nicholle Kirke, The Metaphysician from SoulTour, keep your head up and your heart out.
Tara-Nicholle Kirke, MA, Esq. The Metaphysician Founder + CEO of SoulTour
P.S.: Want more like this? Become a SoulTour subscriber for just $11 a month.
I just got back home from the Atlantic’s In Pursuit of Happiness summit where I taught a session.
And we had this very interesting realization deep into having promoted the session that my session was not streamed, you actually had to be in the room to see it. But I know a lot of you came in and we’re trying to see it and trying to figure out what was happening.
So what I thought I would do for today’s transformation Tuesday is an encore of the talk that I gave yesterday at the Atlantic’s in pursuit of happiness Summit, it was called Daily Rituals of the Radically fruitful and it’s brief. So but it’s good. So buckle up.
All right, so Radically Fruitful, is the name. It’s the way we talk about work at SoulTour.
It’s the way I’ve talked about my own work for a really long time. As some of you know, I have three children who are neurodivergent, with a huge age gap in between, I have like, now a couple of homes in a couple of places. I have two businesses sold to her and I own 9Round Kickboxing studio at Lake Merritt in Oakland, California, 132, East 12.
You know, I write books, I have lots of stuff, lots of stuff going on. And at this stage, I’m working about 30 hours a week, maybe a little bit more a little bit less than weeks.
But Radically Fruitful is the way I talk about and think about work. And it rejects the old idea of productivity. Originally, Radically Fruitful is also the name of a corporate program we’re starting at SoulTour. We’re looking for pilot partners right now.
And it very organically developed out of the work we’ve done with over 50,000 individual people, smart, successful people who came to us because they were hiding their light or they were holding themselves back they have chronic patterns of feeling unfulfilled or at work.
And in particular, wondering if there was more out there than than this being pulled in all directions, unclear about who they really were and exactly what they want out of life.
Many of them really stuck feeling that terrible feeling that their work equals their worth, which is a very short path to feeling like work is very empty.
So we believe that we can transform entire companies and industries and maybe the entire institution of work by leaping out of this paradigm shifting out of a paradigm leaping out of the paradigm that says humans are resources that should perform, conform and produce to be of worth. Instead, we want to leap into we want to take everyone with us into this energy where we create in our work at 50 to 500 times that fruitfulness as we used to, because we radically accept and we radically align with the natural ways creation happens in our world.
And we naturally we radically accept and radically aligned to the way humans work, including and especially their own unique spirit, their own unique soul, their own unique callings, their own unique genius.
So if you’ve listened to me talk for long at all, you know that I’m a real big fan of naming the elephant in the room. That’s kind of my jam.
So in the talk yesterday, I had a slide at this stage that said it was a quote from Drew Carey. It says, Drew Carey, the comedian. Yes. It says, Oh, you hate your work. There’s a club for that. It’s called everybody and we meet in the bar.
All right, so the elephant in the room of work right now is that the pandemic didn’t just change work conditions. It created a spiritual crisis within the souls of humans.
Many many people thought about their own mortality contemplated their own death for the first time maybe ever time to do the things that you’ve always wanted to do started to feel really, really short.
And people started to ask themselves the very appropriate question. Why am I spending so many of the precious moments of my life doing shit I can’t stand with in toxic, you know, company cultures?
And that’s why we’ve seen the great resignation, which I think we should be calling the great recalibration. And, you know, to harken back to The Drew Carey, quote, you hate your work. There’s a club for that. It’s called everyone and we meet in the bar at six. Like, Yo, why are we okay with this? Why are we as employee employees are not okay with it? That’s been clear.
But why are employers okay with it? Why are companies okay with this? I think that we’ve grown out we’re like the frog in the pot collectively. We’ve grown okay with this because we don’t know what the option is. And there is an option.
So if you’ve ever read any poems from the Lebanese poet, Khalil Gibran, his masterwork was called the Prophet. It’s beautiful. It’s long. It’s worth reading. It’s it’s like a book almost length. But there’s just one section he has called on work. And there’s just one mic drop in that one section, where he says, and I know, work is love made visible. Work is love made visible.
So all what I see happening right now in the workplace is a bunch of people out here trying to make changes on the surface, not realizing that all these alignment changes trying to align to a new way require first paradigm change, require first a new a vision change, right? What are we can recalibrating to? And I think what we should be recalibrating to in terms of our vision for work is from required to inspired.
Think about your children. Think about the energy that they have, when you give them a list of shit they have to do that they don’t want to do versus when they’re inspired to do something because they either just like doing it. Or because it’s part it’s a step on the journey to something else that they’re inspired to do.
So if we’re going to shift as a culture as a workplace culture from required to inspired, we have to get okay with the real, real real, which is that people are not cogs to be optimized.
They have souls and spirits and conditioning, and their lives are sacred. So their work should be to the precious moments of their work, life should be to All right, so I am here.
I was at the Atlantic’s conference, to ask the question, what would be possible for us if we could even take a step toward making this shift?
What would be possible is what I’m calling radically fruitful, it would be possible for us to become radically fruitful as individuals and as teams as organizations?
And the cornerstone of being a Radically Fruitful human is ritual. It’s a ritual. So I am talking about behavior change, that builds the practice of taking a sacred pause, so that you can stop reacting.
Tap back into your natural strengths and powers and realign the work you’re doing and the way you’re working. And the thoughts you’re thinking and the words you’re saying and the words you’re typing off your fingertips.
Side note, don’t send that email, Johnson that email. That’s for some somebody heard that and knows that it was for them.
So we need to realign those things with our own unique zones of genius. And all rituals are just the difference between a habit and a ritual.
A habit is just something you do mindlessly because you’ve trained your you’ve domesticated your brain into doing it, and that’s appropriate for some things. A ritual is something you do that brings higher meaning, or magic, or delight. That’s maybe illogical and not even, you know, linear, but is beautiful, into your experience.
A ritual is like a frame you can put around the thing you do that marks this moment as special in different not mundane. So I shared with them really high level four daily rituals of the radically fruitful, the first of which is creators hour, which is the daily ritual that I teach and most of my programs actually guide my students through Do it four days a week, at sorry, six days a week, there are four parts to the creator’s our ritual. The first is sitting meditation if you want to, but problem with meditation is that people think there’s a right and wait right and wrong way to do it.
So sitting is to just sit still and dial down the pace of your thoughts, maybe 10, or 20%, is all you need at first, then we do free writing. And I’m going to double click on free writing. Because if there were only one portion of the four-part creators, our ritual that you could do, it should be free writing.
And by that I just mean brain dump onto the page, do it however you want to do it. Write it longhand in a journal, do it in a Google doc doesn’t even do it in notes on your phone, whatever works for you.
But the idea here is to first get out all of your past grudges and grievances, and all of your future anxieties, fears, things you’re dreading, and even things you’re excited about. Right?
When you get that on the page. And this on the page you come in, you naturally come back into you’re very, very powerful right now, right? And the other idea for this or objective for this practice is to turn off your inner censor your inner editor, your inner critic for just a predictable amount of time every day.
What I find in teaching these is that often people have these very inspired, you know, divine downloads, golden threads of ideas, moments of clarity, answers to questions they’ve been asking, will just come out naturally unbidden, without trying, after they clear all that other stuff out of their minds. All right, then.
So the creators, our ritual, the daily ritual is sitting, it is writing, then we do declarations or affirmations. And that’s a spectrum. Some people, you know, depending on where their spiritual preferences lie, some people go, this is prayer and declarations and affirmations. For some people. It’s just kind of declarations. For some people. It’s like reading their goals. For some people, it’s all of them.
And then after we do daily declarations, we do some form of physical movement. And this is not a workout. It’s a purpose. They are prescriptive little doses of physical movement with that are designed and proven to get your chakras your energy, your creative powers turned on for the day. So if you’d like to see kind of what one of those looks like, Google The Five Tibetans, it is a five-part sort of its five individual yoga postures really is what it is that you do in these, like repetitions and an intentional sequence that will turn your chakras on and once you start doing it, you know, it works because you know what happens? The day you stop, you’re like, “Whoa, I better do my Tibetans tomorrow.”
All right, so that’s creators hour, we’ve talked about free writing. And then I’ll talk about surfing the rug.
Okay, so in like the Buddhist therapeutic addiction world, there’s a practice called surfing the urge, which is about surfing the urge of your addictive, crazy cravings.
Well, I have translated that for you all into a practice we call surfing the dog. All right, because it is my observation that the fear of unwanted outcomes and the fear of unwanted emotions. And the fear of unwanted criticism is responsible for an entirely wild amount of the drama that occurs for people at work within them and between people.
So surfing the rug is just a way to start educating people about what to expectation management, when you start practicing good boundaries when you start having hard conversations when you start upskilling in this way so that you can be radically fruitful, you’re going to have fear arise.
So people need to know that fear is like a wave that they can serve. It’s not a thing you have to react to or stop doing what you were doing that sparked the fear. It is a wave it starts small, it builds it crescendos and then it dies down and all of that wave will happen it will go away.
Even if you never change anything about the path that you were on. Even if you go ahead and take the intellectual or creative or business risky we’re gonna take so surfing the dog is a daily ritual of the radically fruitful.
Alright, the last two I’m going to talk about together segment intending which you’ve probably if you’ve heard any Abraham Hicks in your life, you’ve probably heard that phrase.
If you’re, you know a Bible person, you’ve heard that verse about writing the vision making it plain. If you’ve heard me talking lately, you’ve heard me starting to talk about Cameron Herold’s book, Vivid Vision. It’s kind of the same thing you know. So on the playground, all other parents are like Be careful, be careful to their kids. And I’m like being intentional and then be intentional. What’s your vision? I’m asking her that all the time. What’s your vision? What’s your plan, but more vision? What do you want to have happen?
That’s all segment intending is, every time you shift from one segment of time to another, and the segments can be whatever is meaningful to you, if you shift from year to year, quarter to quarter, month to month, week to week, day to day meeting, to meeting hour to hour, literally, every time you shift, you have an opportunity to define your intentions for the time segment that you’re coming into. Alright. And when you do that, I don’t mean this in a way that’s like, trying to be manipulative of what you want other people to do in that time, what is the experience you want to have in that time? Right?
When you do that, you start to pre-pave that set coming segment of time for the outcomes that you desire in a couple of different ways. In one way, just by focusing your energy and attention in the direction that you want it to go. That does a lot. And you find it when you start segment intending regularly.
If you’re also like journaling daily, free writing daily, and reflecting on how it goes, you quickly see oh, wait, other people are acting differently. Like she came to the meeting after acting differently than she used to act. Now, people are like, “Oh, magic woowoo.” No, there’s literally I mean, it is mannequin oboe. Yes. And also, there is in neurobiology, there is a reality called mirror neurons. So whatever energy you bring in your brain, in your physical gray matter, brain to a meeting, or to a quarter or to your team, they will experience mirroring of that in a neuronal level, not even just the energetic, vibrational, spiritual level. But both. All right.
The other way segment intending works really well is that it sort of gives you a chance to gracefully spaciously in a non-time scarcity way, to work out some of the inner kinks to work out some of the inner conflicts, misalignments needed resources that are missing. It allows you to kind of get out of being that lever-pulling director of the universe that has to make every single thing happen on their own.
And instead, you can start to use my fifth daily ritual to Radically Fruitful, which is the alignment inquiry. And the alignment inquiry is just this. It’s asking yourself this question I want, here’s what I want. Here’s why I want it. Here’s what I intend for this segment. What’s not in alignment? Right? And that’s a powerful question to start realigning.
And then we can get into way more system, we do get into way more systematic ways of doing alignment work. But you can do get really far in aligning everything about your business and your life, just by asking that single question, what’s not in alignment.
So I just invite you to join me in the knowing that Christ every crisis presents an opportunity, a portal, a turning point. It presents an opportunity for you as an individual and for us as a collective to change direction and to do it by this by allowing the disruption that’s already been happening to our personal mythologies, to our mythology about what work looks like and means and feels like allowing that to change our course with intention.
So those are the Daily Rituals and the Radically Fruitful.
Head up + heart out,
Tara-Nicholle Kirke, MA, Esq. The Metaphysician Founder + CEO of SoulTour
P.S.: Want more like this? Become a SoulTour subscriber for just $11 a month.
We are here on the auspicious occasion of our weekly transformation Tuesday lesson. And today I want to talk to you about how to get receptive, how to get receptive, how to get out of that idea that you have to pull every lever and direct the entire universe and do all the hardest possible work for anything to ever work out for you, and how to get into receptive mode starting super, super small.
So I’m actually going to tell you several stories. I will tell you a story that I call “The parable of the dress” as the main story. So that should be a little signal to some of you, because people have been asking me to tell this story.
So I’m gonna tell the story. And I’m just gonna preface it with this reality of our world and my household, which is that people give us stuff.
People give us stuff everywhere we go in this world.
I was literally on a trip with a friend and in Croatia, of all places.
And this old, beautiful old woman ran out of her shop and handed me a piece of fruit.
And my friend was like, “what is happening?”
You don’t understand. This is literally what happens to me everywhere in this world.
And it’s what happens to Londyn, who’s only four, everywhere in this world.
Wonderful things just chase us down and people give them to us.
And I’m very loose in how I hold things in general. Like I believe in practicing the spiritual strategy of Buddhist detachment from things, sometimes things break, or leave your possession and often they that is, actually I believe that everything is always working out in the favor and direction of our highest good. So it’s okay when things leave.
But again, sometimes it’s really tempting to get into this mindset that you have to pull every lever in the universe, you have to direct the universe, you have to do every single logical linear step of creating every single thing that you create.
And I’ve realized that many of us still are in that, even though this is a time of great creation, or it wants to be a time of great rebirth and renewal and reinvention, as long as you’re still in that old paradigm of you have to pull every lever, things will actually be hard.
So while it is true that you have great, mighty, strong human effort within you, it is also true that you’ll get the best results in your life, you will have the most joyful life and you will get to have the most prosperous results in your life in a numeric goal way, financial goal way.
When you get your foundations right, you get those delicious, divine download of a vision for how you want things to be in a general way. And then you get into alignment with that.
And you just start showing up in doing the piece of that that is in your zone of genius. And you watch what else happens, you watch what else lines up and lights up, you watch who else shows up.
So it’s really important to remind yourself in this season, I’m here to remind y’all today in this season, that you’re not in this world alone.
Whatever your religious beliefs may be, there is Source spirit, All That Is.
And there are also 8 billion other people on the planet. Many of whom would love to co-create whatever it is that you are creating. Sometimes they will participate in your creations without even wanting to, without even knowing they are.
So you got to allow some space for that to happen. Whether it’s your children, whether it’s your clients, whether it’s your employers, whether it’s just your neighbors, we’re all co-creating a world together.
And so if you get intentional first, and break your paradigms, break your low expectations of the world, and by that, I don’t just mean low expectations of yourself.
In fact, one of the most pervasive, strong, hindering inner critic patterns that I see in my caseload and my client load, and my clients are basically only very smart, already very successful people.
Their inner critics often hinder them by having them set very, very high goals with very low self-compassion.
So if you have these goals, but you also have a paradigm or a belief system that says you have to do it all yourself, not only does that paradigm block all the help that’s actually all around you right now that you can’t see or energize. It’s also evidence. It’s also evidence of a deeper, usually a deeper, conditioned response, often a trauma-conditioned response that says, you have to do all the hard things on your own to get love, or to prove that you deserve your spot on the planet, or to get approval, or for good things to happen or for unwanted catastrophe, things not to happen.
So this is where I really depart from the Love and Light Brigade that will tell you you don’t have to, you can’t get to the bottom of your shadows, you don’t need to think about your unwanted beliefs or inner wiring.
The reality is that people can tell you to think different thoughts all you want about the world and have higher expectations of life all you want. But unless and until you address those conditioned patterns, you can’t even see them and they’ll run your life, they will be very active in your energies that you’re broadcasting.
Often, that’s what creates unwanted patterns or especially unwanted self-sabotage patterns.
So, you know, one of the teachers that I appreciate her work and actually just did a workshop with her at Esalen recently, Laura Day. She’s a creation teacher. And she talks about the strategy I call a spiritual strategy of reality tales, where you sort of orient to what you desire in your life and then you start every day a practice of writing the hypothetical, kind of beautiful, fantastical, almost non-logical nonlinear, the universe surprises you kind of ways this reality could come to pass.
And so I love the strategy of reality tales, I find that with some people who’ve really had that condition trauma response of expecting that they have to do it all themselves a hard way, sometimes it’s helpful.
Sometimes those people find it difficult to do reality tales in a way that actually hypothetical and fantasy and breaks open some new possibilities for how things could come to pass in their lives.
So often, what I like to do is, look back, look back in your life, even at the smallest examples, or stories or memories of when everything just lined up in was perfect place perfect time moment, would, the times when literally people chased you down in the streets of Croatia to give you things, the times when other people showed up and help was really on the way and you didn’t make it happen.
So I often will teach the strategy of reality tails with a bunch of other spiritual strategies that help empower you to even use reality tools including, like I said, reveling in your wins.
Including the strategy of help was on the way, looking back and reflecting on when help was on the way, and including some of the strategies that are going to come up as I tell you the story today.
And the reason I was initially reminded to tell this story was that the reminder came to me in this series of events.
So Friday night, I was at my club writing, I had to sit, I was in the flow I was writing. And there was like a conference at the club, which is usually pretty mellow in the area I was at on Friday nights, very conducive to getting in the flow.
But not that night.
Because the area I usually sit in was like blocked off for this private event. There were just a lot of people there, the people were milling around leading new people to the building.
And so I normally was like, grab a glass of champagne from the restaurant and sit in right but I didn’t because the restaurant was super busy. People were there.
And I was still in the flow. So I was just writing but I was like thinking about that glass of champagne.
Now I was just writing and I was like, let’s see, I don’t feel like going in there right now because I want to break the flow.
So as I’m writing, one of the hotel managers who I’ve never met before walks up to me and sets two glasses of champagne down on my table.
And he’s like, “I just thought you might need things.”
And I later told a friend about it. She was like, “what is happening? How does this happen to you?”
I’m like, it’s fine to practice this with the small things, just practice noticing it, when something really small was on your mind and somebody like gifts it to you, practice noticing it.
Because if you can do that with things that are small, because you played a role in that, first of all, and once you realize that you can do that with small things, you graduate with small things to which you have no attachment or resistance, you gradually start to learn that you can tune yourself to be this detached unresisted flower of all kinds of energies.
So it’s not just me, Londyn has this experience too while we were walking, and I’m going to use this as another mini parable as I get to the big parable.
So we’re walking down the street the other day in our neighborhood.
There’s a beautiful flower shop. When Londyn takes two steps, looks at the woman and the woman hands her this beautiful Peony already cracked and hands it to her.
And we continue to take a couple of steps and Londyn was like, “why did she give me this flower? I don’t want this flower.”
And I said to her, “Londyn, when people give us gifts, we receive them. We receive gifts. If you don’t want it, you’re welcome to give it to someone else. But this is how we do in this house”.
Me and my house, we received gifts.
And there was a gentleman standing in an open store who overheard this and he stopped me and he was like, “that is very, very wise. I heard what you just told her and that is very wise.”
And we started to talk about it.
And he said something like, “you know, I’m not a good receiver. I’m not good at receiving.”
And I told him this is one way you practice getting good at receiving big and small, start with small, but just make a rule for yourself, a practice for yourself, put yourself in the energetic posture that when people give you gifts, you receive them.
And I definitely had to build the habit of receptivity. What a beautiful phrase, huh?
So this is one way that you begin to shift into the paradigm where blessings are chasing you down in every area of your life all the time and you start to receive them, is where you start to become but just one component, and in the fulfillment of your own potential on your own sacred contracts with ease.
So you’re not doing it all on your own.
And you practice with the small things and you practice remembering the small times.
That’s the spiritual strategy.
Receiving your gifts is a spiritual strategy.
And reveling in your wins is another spiritual strategy. Here are a couple more that are relevant to this. Mantras:.
I’m in love with everyone and everyone is in love with me.
Try that and watch how it changes your life.
Try that and watch what comes up for you as you say that because there may be some paradigm awareness and belief system awareness that you need to have to dissolve in order to get back in alignment with love as the dominant energy underlying your interpersonal relationships and once you rewire that watch who shows up in your life.
Watch who shows up in your life.
Watch how the troublemakers in your life change the way that they act now.
So here’s the story of the dress. The parable of the dress.
Well, the dress I wore, this dress on my recent photoshoot:
I’m wearing this dress seven, eight years on after I got it. But I want to tell you this story because it’s really beautiful.
Seven or eight years ago, I was in New York City on a weekend enroute to France.
So I’m walking down Fifth Avenue in New York City and I have not bought any couture clothing at that time in my life. Because y’all it’s all Pugs and you know gold things now, but I was a teenage mom, I was a teenage mom from Bakersfield, California so, don’t get it twisted.
It wasn’t always Pugs and gold stuff everywhere.
So in New York City walking down Fifth Avenue, I saw the Dior store, I saw this beautiful dress in this store and it was like not glitzy fancy glam. It just was like, for me. It just was for me. It looked like it was for me.
It was like a Tara-shaped dress.
And it was also Sunday at whatever time the store was closed.
I remember seeing it and alerting to it and then kind of going, it’s not for me because the store is closed.
So I kept trekking.
The next day I was in Paris enroute to Cannes because I am a marketer, but used to be a marketer, I would attend the Cannes interactive Advertising Festivals.
So I’m in Paris, I’m in the Galleries Lafayette, it’s like a mall. It’s a beautiful mall, but it’s a mall, I’m wearing Lululemon.
I’m a black chick with braids in my hair, wearing yoga pants. And it was right around the time when you were hearing all these black women’s celebrities were having these really outrageous experiences of discrimination in high-end stores. But it just was that time.
So I’m walking in the mall. And I see the Dior store. And I’m like, I just escaped the bullet of not having to figure out the finances and whatever buying this dress.
So I was walking actually opposite the side of the corridor from the store. I just didn’t even want to go into the store. And I was kind of glancing in the window seeing they didn’t have the dress in the window. Anyway, it was great. So it wasn’t tempting.
So I’m walking down away at the mall and the shopkeeper, the woman who’s managing the store at Dior, is in the doorway. And she sees me and she gestures to me. She’s like, “you come here.”
So I come over, and she says, “Can I get you a glass of champagne?”
Yes, and not all my stories begin with champagne. But this one? So I’m like, “Sure.”
So she hands me a glass of champagne and she says, “ma’am, I’ll bring you some dresses.” And mind you I’m literally wearing workout clothes and tennis shoes. I don’t carry prestige handbags or any of that. It’s just not my style of bag.
But she just knew. So she grabs me and gives me champagne and asks me if she can bring me some dresses. And the dress that she brings me is the same dress I’ve just seen the day before work on Fifth Avenue. It’s actually the same.
The dress she handed me that day without asking me what my size was, without asking me what style or what I did was, nothing.
The dress she handed me I now own.
It is the dress I brought home. It was the most expensive piece of clothing I had bought in my life to that time.
And I put the dress on and it just was like somebody sewed it on me and made it for me.
Also the dress is like a tank. Like you put this dress on and you’re like this dress will if I can stay in the size for it for 40 years, this dress will last for years. It is just beautifully made.
Now, not only did she bring me the black dress, she also brought me a white version of the dress, which I didn’t even know existed because it wasn’t in the window when I saw the dress in New York.
She brings me the black and the white one and I’m like, “Am I really about to buy both these dresses, because we’re talking about like a mortgage payment and a half purred for us here.” And I was kind of in a point of time in my own spiritual work where I was practicing the spiritual strategy of being lavished with myself after many decades and an upbringing of being very restrictive with myself. So I was like, Yeah, I can just buy the white dress that had a little smudge of makeup on it.
And I thought at that price point that I can’t justify, is like buying this dress and someone else’s makeup on it. Like buying this dress and then having to go get a clean that I can get with somebody great. Like, thanks, God, you just made that decision for me. I don’t need this one too.
So I tell her, “I’m not I can’t stress a little smudge on it. I’m really not feeling it. I do love it. I would get it otherwise, but I can’t I And oh, by the way, I’m leaving town tomorrow, going to Cannes.”
She says, “just give me a second.” So she goes VPP Boo boop, comes back. Now she makes a call. She comes back, she says, “there’s one more dress this white dress in your science, it’s in Switzerland. We can have it and can day after tomorrow, will you still be there?”
And I’m like, am I about to do this real thing? The answer was yes, I absolutely did. So by the time I got to Kent, to the hotel, I was going to end up staying in Cannes, because actually I also had a really bad Airbnb experience. And then ended up in this beautiful hotel. And I had let the dealer store pick in Paris, weren’t what my plan change was.
So I checked into my hotel, and the manager of the hotel comes down with this huge white box that just says Dior on the top. And a business card from the can. France, south of France, can do your store manager with his handwritten note on it, I still have the card.
Because I still and he hands me this tank of a dress. And I still have the card and I still tell the story because I don’t wear the dress often.
But when I wear them people are like, “what is this dress? Where is this word? What is this dress that’s they’re a little transcendent.” And maybe some of it is the making of the dress. And some of it is the energy of the experience through which these dresses came to me.
But I keep the card as a reminder, I keep the card as a reminder that I want every day to feel like this.
I want every day to feel like this for me where everyone in this world is conspiring to chase after you and find you and link you up with the just right things, the most delicious plate things for you.
We’re all your blessings are chasing you down in every area of your life all the time, where you’re always having these wins, and you’re always reveling in them.
I think life should be magical.
And I think a magical life is just a series of magical days, right?
So these are the spiritual strategies of magical days, receiving your gifts.
I am in love with everyone and everyone is in love with me.
Every person on this planet is a link in the chain of my highest good reveling in your wins having Buddhist detachment.
I could have gotten upset that the store wasn’t open or you know, bummed that I missed out on it in New York, but the truth is, like I know if everything is always working out for you, you never miss out on anything that is yours ever.
So the energy, I want to invite you to just get into the energy of the story, let it sit, you know, plant some seeds within you, when things feel hard for you, I want you to return to that the energy of your elevated lick the plate moments and memories of when abundance came to you with ease.
And it can be a tiny small thing, it can be the time somebody gave you a free glass of champagne. It could be just anything, remember the times when everything really worked out for you.
So if this opens up anything in your spirit, or if you’d like to have more magical days and more magical moments and magical days that lead to magical life, just take a moment to like the video or to share the video or to subscribe to my videos on this platform that we’re on right now.
And if you really want to start joyfully doing the deep work of shifting your paradigms so that you become more of a magnet instead of a marketer, that’s a thing I’ve been trying on with people. You don’t have to market yourself all the time to become a magnet. And there’s a way to do that.
There’s no but it’s deep work and it’s paradigm level work. Go to soultour.com/subscribe and get on the list for my welcome to your SoulTour newsletter, we will keep you in the loop.
Because we are about to reopen my school of spiritual strategy after this deep excavation and remodeling and rebranding work and we’ve been creating a thing that is nothing less than art.
And I’m about to start doing some orientations to give you a little tour through the new school of spiritual strategy.
So get on my lists and follow me and do all that stuff. Sign up and share this. I don’t want you to miss a thing. I promise you what’s coming is a whole magical mystical metaphysical, have a smart and strategic and intentional vibe that will make your life better like now, today, not someday.
Keep your head up and your heart out. I will see you soon.
Tara-Nicholle Kirke, MA, Esq. The Metaphysician Founder + CEO of SoulTour
P.S.: Want more like this? Become a SoulTour subscriber for just $11 a month.
Have you ever had a friend who fell in love with a new boyfriend and then just disappeared? She went on a date a few weeks ago and … you just don’t see them no more?
That’s probably how my friends feel about me and my relationship with Mexico.
So suffice to say that I’ve been spending a lot of time in Mexico lately. La Londyn and I are moving down for the summer… and maybe beyond.
But I’ve noticed a fascinating pattern in how other people react to this plan. In almost every conversation I have with a friend or relative about our move, one question arises.
They ask “Are you fluent in Spanish?”
And I answer: Nope!
I understand Spanish really well, as I grew up in a town that is 70% Mexican.
But my spoken Spanish is…malo.
It’s really bad. Until I’m there a couple of weeks and it’s really good.
And when I say this, I watch the alarm creep up on the face of my friends, as they try to put themselves in my shoes.
And then I share what I know to be true, which is this: The only way I’ll ever get fluent is to move to a Spanish-speaking country.
I have lots of friends who speak Spanish right here in the United States of Oakland.
But they don’t speak Spanish with me. Their English is far better than my Spanish, and it’s not their job to practice with me.
So once I decided to get serious and get fluent… and once I decided I wanted that for Londyn, too, my next steps became clear.
Not only would we move part-time (to start) to Mexico, we would NOT be moving to Baja or any of the other resort areas where you could live the rest of your life without a word of Spanish.
I started looking for a town which had the creature comforts I love… but did NOT have a large American expat community.
I started looking for a place with a preschool that would let Londyn drop in for a couple of months at a time, and get fluent in the process.
I started looking for a place with great internet and good hotels and resorts and other collaborators for the retreats I run with my individual coaching clients, and with our groups coaching members at SoulTour.
And, you know what?
I found it.
A nature-focused, Spanish-dominant community in Mexico with 60,000 people, a single American, 3 country clubs, lots of horses and a Tesla charging station, all within a day’s travel from our home in Oakland.
And I found it with a few Google searches. I didn’t know a single soul in town. Shit, I didn’t know a single soul who had even been to the town.
But I geared up and we flew down anyway, just to do a vibe check. Put our bodies in the place and see how we felt.
I set the intention: Spirit, show us the way. Let us learn what we’re here to learn. Let the places we should go woo us.
And I paved the journey with this one: Everything is always working out for us.
And I lightened things up with this one: Ya veremos. (We shall see!)
So we checked into our Airbnb. And the locals rolled out the red carpet. The schools rolled out the red carpet. The neighbors. The local shopkeepers and business owners.
People opened warm arms. Encouraged us to move down.
They invited us to their homes for dinner. Gave us their numbers for play dates. Told us why they loved their neighborhoods and we should consider it, too. Made space for Londyn in their gymnastics classes.
They enthusiastically offered business partnerships.
And all this was possible because we were willing to go without really being “ready”, in terms of our Spanish levels.
But what if I had imposed the false prerequisite on myself, of being fluent in Spanish in advance?
What if I had decided to get a one-time-a-week Spanish tutor and wait to make a move until I was fully fluent?
Trust me when I say, we’d still be WAITING, for some years to come.
Because fluency without immersion is nearly impossible. (That’s a word for someone.)
Fluency without immersion is not a thing, Brilliant One.
As with so many House Rules of the Universe, most people think about being ready to make a big life change backwards.
You don’t get good at Spanish so you can move to Mexico.
You move to Mexico and that’s how you get good at Spanish.
You can’t always just sit in a room and cook up a 20 year Perfect Life Plan and count on getting crystal clear on your life’s purpose before you start doing your dreams.
It’s EXACTLY the other way around: You start taking a step toward doing your dreams and that’s how you kickstart the process of getting clear on who you really are and what you really want out of life, why you’re really here.
It’s not even possible to get really good at the things you want to be able to do before you start doing them.
You can only get good at them by doing them.
And along the way you realize that the delectable life starts when you stop caring whether you’re good at those things are just do them because following your Inner Guidance feels so freaking good.
This is a story about how some willingness-es are accelerating my own journey to be my Big Self and do my Big Dreams before I die:
… the willingness to get comfortable being uncomfortable
… the willingness to expose yourself to the possibility of some unwanted plot twists and turns
… the willingness to trust that it’ll all work out anyway
… the willingness to surrender to a little disorientation and untethering and the certainty that I will make millions of mistakes along the way.
Now it’s your turn.
And here are a few prompts to get you started.
First, my Signature Breakthrough Question: What is it that you’re afraid to do… and that you would LOVE to do?
Second: What would be possible for you if you were willing to be uncomfortable, make millions of mistakes along the way and shed the “false prerequisite” story you’ve been telling yourself?
And finally: What would it FEEL LIKE for you to feel that psychologically safe in your own skin and in the world, that you could trust that everything is always working out for you and take the everyday risks required to live an exuberant, succulent, lick-the-plate, no-hesitation, guided by Inner Wisdom, shackles-off life?
(Side note: Every program at SoulTour is proven to help with this.)
I’m going to reopen SoulTour’s School of Spiritual Strategy soon, so I’d love to know what would feel like a breakthrough for you. Feel free to hit reply and let me know what comes up for you when you hear these prompts.
Head up + heart out,
Tara-Nicholle Kirke, MA, Esq. The Metaphysician Founder + CEO of SoulTour
P.S.: Want more like this? Become a SoulTour subscriber for just $11 a month.
Boldly making a move in the direction of your dreams, big or small, is something like pressing the play button on a series of cosmic programs that play in your consciousness and in the world around you automatically. That’s the thing about a program: You don’t make every step of it happen. It’s a series of preset steps that play automatically.
And in the case of these boldness “programs”, you take the first bold step and that sparks a sequence of opportunities and events that multiply your personal actions and effort BY A LOT, in ways you couldn’t even imagine if you tried.
One bold move activates “the genius program” within you and all around you, causing you and others to receive the guidance of Infinite Intelligence to be in the right place at the right time doing the right thing to evoke even more genius from each other.
One bold move in alignment with your sacred dreams and contracts activates “the power program”, causing you to be able to energize opportunities and turn your ideas to real, tangible realities with far more efficiency than anything else you’ve ever tried to do before.
One bold move is like pressing play on “the magic program”, where you find yourself able to go from success to success and from glory to glory under grace, your ships coming in over calm seas, the phone ringing and your inbox crammed to overflowing with opportunities you couldn’t even have imagined in your wildest dreams.
But the genius program (#1), the power program (#2) and the magic program (#3) are just one side of the story.
I want to give you a more comprehensive picture of the programs that will begin to play when you make a bold move beyond your comfort zone, so you don’t get blindsided.
Boldness Program #4: The alignment program. When you take even a single, bold step to be your Big Self or do your Big Dream, anything in your values, identity, beliefs, daily habits, calendar, family life, financial life, environment or systems that is inconsistent with that deep down dream will start to get verrrrrry uncomfortable unless and until you make a change.
That’s why true, deep alignment with your sacred contracts and your True, Sacred Self often feels like all hell breaking loose in your life before it feels like heaven on earth.
TRUE alignment often feels like a cascade of crises and losses before it feels like freedom, wholeness, happiness or success.
So catch this principle: The alignment program is very uncomfortable. But it’s also very necessary.
Because we’re human and because comfort zones are called what they’re called for a reason, most of us spend a decade or two fighting to stay inside our comfort zones by trying to downsize the dream instead of having the hard conversations and executing the necessary endings to get ourselves and our lives into alignment with our own dreams.
That’s why I was surprised, when I gave up the inner tug-of-war, resigned myself to the very BIGGEST version of my own personal dream and found every element and area of my life to fall into alignment. It was wildly easier and way more delicious to be my Big Self and do my BIG Dream than to play the role of a small, culturally-compliant shadow version of my self, and it will be for you, too.
Boldness Program #5: The Fear Program.
Your whole life, you’ve been taught to hold back from doing things to avoid unwanted consequences.
This makes sense when you’re a little kid learning not to run into the street.
But over a lifetime, this reward-punishment conditioning becomes warped and hardened into what I call The Fear Program, and it activates any time you do ANYTHING to get out of your culturally approved lane, or anything that makes you feel exposed or vulnerable to unwanted consequences.
The Fear Program is at the root of all self-sabotage. You want to do your dream, the fear sparks, you hold yourself back to make the fear go away.
Every bold move in the direction of your dream WILL ACTIVATE the fear program, because they all make you feel exposed and often, doing your dream WILL create at least a few unwanted consequences in the immediate term.
Because when you enlarge yourself and your life? You WILL make mistakes. You WILL feel untethered and disoriented. You might even look foolish, be disliked or receive critical feedback on occasion.
And all of these unwanted things are actually essential milestones on the journey of your awakening soul and your actualizing True, Sacred Self. Because making mistakes, feeling disoriented, hitting your upper limits, becoming okay with looking foolish or being disliked—they are how you build the muscle of risk-taking, the feedback loop of “I’m okay regardless” and the inner sense of psychological safety that allows you to unleash your maximum creative power and potential.
The first step to escaping the paralyzing influence of The Fear Program is to begin your boldness. When I first started this work in my own life, I followed the advice of Florence Scovel Shinn and made a commitment to always do the fearless thing. (And I gave myself an A+ if I did that 80% of the time.)
Do the fearless thing. Then, with self-compassion and awareness, tune into how you feel. Feel yourself hit your Upper Limits. Feel the fear. And watch The Fear Program run, WITHOUT letting it run you.
Do not let it stop you. Do not let it change your course. Engage wholeheartedly with the subjects that scare you. If you have a financial freak-out, look at that. Learn more about money and your own money blocks. If you have a fear of ending up alone, learn about your attachment styles and primal heart wounds and dive deeper.
Just keep swimming, Brilliant One. And watch the fear dissolve. Eventually.
Boldness Program #6: The no-regret program. I’d been teaching “always do the fearless thing” as a Spiritual Strategy for years when one of the authors of Freakonomics published a research paper that validated this approach.
Economist Steven Levitt had people who were stuck on a big life decision—like whether to quit their job, get married or divorced, adopt a kid, move to a new city, etc.—flip a coin and make the decision based on the coin toss. Then he followed up with them to see how satisfied they were with their decision two months and six months later.
Two months later, people who had kept their lives the same were happy with their decision. But six months later, they wished they had made the big change they’d been considering. And the people who had made a big life change based on the coin toss—the people who had done the fearless thing—they were happy with their decision two months and six months after making it.
Here’s the thing you learn quickly when you get in the practice of doing the fearless thing: If things don’t work out, you can virtually always make a U-turn. And if you do, you do it with the self-respect of having tried. But if you never give it a chance to play out, your unlived life may very well haunt you, sometimes for generations*.
In other words, if you’re perseverating on whether to make a big, bold change to your life or not, the answer is yes. If you can do or dream it, just begin it. There is genius, magic—and alignment and fear—and regret-obliterating power in it.
Head up + heart out,
Tara-Nicholle Kirke, MA, Esq. The Metaphysician Founder + CEO of SoulTour
*Dr. Jung said that “the greatest burden a child must bear is the unlived life of its parents.” Resonates, doesn’t it? Don’t go out like that.
P.S.: Want more like this? Become a SoulTour subscriber for just $11 a month.
An entrepreneur friend and I were chatting the other day about his wonderful but too-long work weeks.
And he made the comment that overwork is a hard habit to break.
I told him that this is not the season for breaking habits.
Because in THIS season, we—and that includes YOU—you are being called to leap from the paradigms of your small self into being your Big Self and doing your Big Dreams.
And that’s not a leap you can make by breaking habits alone.
You have to break your identity.
And by that I mean interrupting your patterns, doing the fearless thing, all the things I mentioned here in Breaking your identity Part I.
But I want to go deeper than that today.
When you’re really ready to break your identity at the level you’ll need to break it to become your Big Self, here’s the mental model you’ll need. Conceptualize what you’re doing this way:
You need to rebrand yourself to yourself.
Yes, I want you to light Kali’s sacred fire and destroy some shit to create some shit.
But I also want you to get like Ganesha and INTEGRATE all of who you’ve been and what you’ve learned into the new, spiritually bionic, easeful, thriving identity you begin living into the moment after the destruction takes place.
In other words, when you break your identity and start shifting into your Big Self, you are not starting from scratch.
So, sure, I want you to know that you’ll need to embrace your inner Neith and let some of your old ways of being die tonight so you can start weaving a new world to life in the morning.
But more importantly, I want you to rebrand yourself TO YOURSELF.
I want you to get up while it’s still an hour or so till dawn dawns…
I want you to sit in the stillness and brain-dump all your old grudges and grievances and anxieties about the future onto the pages of your journal…
I want you to let the energetic ambrosia of creative power that swirls through the pre-dawn sky seeking to land in any and every open heart… let it flow to you and through you
I want you to let it inspire a fresh, new vision for your own identity.
I want you to write one phrase or one dozen pages describing the Big Self you would love to become…
And then I want you to fall madly, wildly, head-over-heels in love with that vision of yourself and your future.
Fall in love with your own Big Self.
And don’t worry about HOW your Big Self and Big Dreams will come to life.
Let the Divine handle the how.
Which is another way of saying: Let the emotional charge of your love for your own Big Self and Big Dreams carry you through the next steps.
Just stand down for a minute. You don’t have to work harder than anybody else to prevent unwanted things from happening here…
And you don’t have to spin every plate of making your Big Dreams happen, either.
This is a co-creative process, Brilliant One.
You and the whole entire Universe.
So. What do you do next?
Well first, stay willing to break some shit. And to burn some shit. Stay willing to integrate some of the ashes and the shit you burned.
Stay in love with the vision. You’ll need that heart—that courage—to dive into the free-floating, scary feeling energy that will arise as you take steps closer to your Big Self and your Big Dreams. You’ll need that courage to stay mindful that what feels like fear wants to transmute into exhilaration at what you’re becoming.
Stay willing to feel the fear and stay in the place of feeling it and facing it and wholeheartedly engaging with the subject of it, and stay self-compassionate enough to know that the fear sparking means you’re doing it right, 100% of the time.
Start doing some self-alignment-coaching.
At the beginning of each day, focus on your Big Self vision and ask yourself:
What’s not in alignment?
Look at your calendar and ask:
Is this in alignment?
In any conversation, consider your words before speaking them and, in that sacred pause, wonder yourself:
Are the words I’m about to speak in alignment with my Big Self? Before you send an email, is this email in alignment with my Big Self? You’ll know the answer.
Or take an hour on Sunday and reflect on where there are mis-alignments you can resolve between your Big Self, your Big Dreams and your values, identity, beliefs, decisions, actions, plans, calendar, expenditures of time and life force and money, relationships, systems, environments.
What’s in alignment? What’s not in alignment?
As you go, you’ll need to stay aware that there are costs and consequences to becoming your Big Self and doing your Big Dreams.
Some folk may not like Big You.
Some comfortable payoffs you’ve been getting out of staying small won’t be able to survive in the radiant glow thrown off by the Big You.
You might have to have some hard conversations with people… or with yourself.
But know this:
Definitionally, a SoulTour is a transformational journey to be your Big Self and do your Big Dreams.
I will never ask you to do something I haven’t done myself.
I’ve been doing this inner work and alignment work for the better part of 25 years, and I dwell in the wholeness, joy and radical liberation that’s on the other side of the pain.
Trust me when I say that you WILL love it here, in this world of the wondrous that is just waiting to swing into view for you.
Behind the scenes, I’ve been radically reinventing my own identity and SoulTour’s, too. I can’t wait to reopen this magically auspicious portal and welcome you to your own SoulTour.
This is a journey.
I’m honored to be your guide.
In the immortal words of the Reverend Dr. Erykah Badu…
Pack light. 🧳💡
Head up + heart out,
P.S.: Want more like this? Become a SoulTour subscriber for just $11 a month.
Tara-Nicholle Kirke, MA, Esq. The Inner Critic Coach™️ Founder + CEO of SoulTour
When I share my “skin care regimen”, I always test the waters first. I want to see how receptive to my personal flavor of weirdness the ask-er will be.
So first I share a few of the only-slightly-out-there things I put in, on and around my body that help.
For example: When I cook, I usually smear a bit of my avocado cooking oil on my skin. (Which, by the way, my dog LOVES.)
And I sweat every single day, intentionally. Steam room, hot tub, rowing, strength training… I get it in.
But then I go deeper and share this revelation: that most of my skin care is internal.
I brew up all sorts of concoctions and take all sorts of supplements that cultivate radiant health and wellbeing of my skin and joints and cells.
I take more Vitamin D than you’d think is sensible. (But given my body’s unique needs and demands, it really works for me.)
I drink a boat load of bone broth and eat a few servings a day of fermented foods.
I’ve concocted a mix of probiotics, mushrooms, collagen and… my favorite… chlorella that I just call by the code word LIFE.
I take some digestive enzymes and acids that I know for sure keep my body and skin nourished and electric.
And every day, I steam some kale and broccoli and blend it up with a little coconut milk and some filtered water into a super-pure smoothie … mmmmmmmmm.
(Side note that I think this is delicious but my friends disagree.)
And with all of that, the most powerful part of my internal skin care regimen is SPIRITUAL.
Meditation. Journaling. Daily declarations. Prayer. Movement. Connecting with all that is. Every day.
But say you don’t have the time or interest in doing all of that, I say, when asked. There is one hack… one single thing you can count on to age your skin and your body in reverse.
And that is to make a self-honoring, Inner Guidance following, life-and-self-aligning, Inner Critic overrling, cultural-rule-breaking decision anytime the opportunity presents itself.
Every time you make a decision to stop overruling and overriding your own Inner Guidance… every time you unpack a part of yourself you’ve been shoving down and holding back… every time you drop the rope in the tug of war between your Inner Critic and your Wise Inner Being, your cellular inflammation dies down and your telomeres get a little bit longer.
So if you want your skin to look better, fast…?
Move where you want to move.
Sell the house or rent it out.
Trust that you’ll figure it out. Trust that it will all come together. Trust that everything is always working out for you.
Quit that job. Or put yourself out there for that new, scarier job.
Stop wringing your hands and start doing your dream.
Speak up for yourself. Say what you mean. Ask for what you need.
You might even need to divorce that person. Or those parents. Or those friends.
Or find your prodigal child and embrace them, so-called bad behavior and all.
Stop divorcing yourself.
Face the fear.
Do the damn thing.
Stop trying to evade your greatness. You can’t evade it, Brilliant One. It’ll just keep haunting you. You have no other choice but to give into it.
And if you only have the capacity to make one single decision differently today than you did yesterday in the interest of causing your physical body to age in reverse, make this one:
Stop saying yes when you really mean no.
Stop saying yes when you really mean no.
Stop saying yes when you really mean no.
And just watch the frown lines disappear.
Let me know how it goes.
Head up + heart out,
P.S.: *These are the Daily Rituals and practices I guide my people through in Life and Self Mastery, by the way, so get on the waiting list if you want in next time I open the doors.
P.P.S.: Want more like this? Become a SoulTour subscriber for just $11 a month.
Tara-Nicholle Kirke, MA, Esq. The Inner Critic Coach™️ Founder + CEO of SoulTour
Here we go. We’re live on Instagram a day in advance of Transformation Tuesday because I have a big gorgeous photoshoot I’m gearing up for for Transformation Tuesday. As you can see, if you’re watching this video, I have like every piece of jewelry that I’ll be wearing in this shoot, actually not even, but at one moment in time. So that’s fun.
I thought I’d come on early also, because I got a note from this wonderful client that I’m working with.
She is a spiritual and psychological teacher in her own right, I do coach and teach and consult with a lot of other coaches and teachers and transformational entrepreneurs. And she’s working on a book that’s kind of the culmination of like 20 years plus of her own personal work and her own work with others.
And so she sent me this email this morning. And as I read it in the hot tub this morning after I dropped the baby off, and before I start working, I get in the hot tub and I get in the sauna and steam room.
And as I read it, I was like, wow, she’s definitely not the only person who has these issues front of mind right now on their hurts right now. So I sent her a note. And it was like, “Hey, here’s some things that are really specific for you.” And then I also wanted to share in a more general way with all of you.
So this is your Transformation Tuesday lesson, even though you may be seeing me on Monday on Instagram. What we’re going to talk about today is ways of being for when you don’t feel like you’re being productive enough. And it’s Monday morning. So I know she ain’t the only person who had this issue.
So she, you know, specifically says a bunch of things, including, we’re working on this book, and we’re at the very beginning.
So she says she’s feeling a little anxious, she’s got some feelings of overwhelm. It’s got some feelings of feeling a little bit lost in the woods. But she’s trusting the process. And that’s one beautiful thing about many of the people I get to work with one on one is that she’s pretty advanced in her own growth work. So she knows how to breathe into the process. She knows how to allow what wants to come through to come through.
But she said this one sentence that reminded me of like every human I know, she says I think my struggle switch gets activated when I feel like I’m not producing enough.
So I wanted to speak to that. These are literally the thoughts that came to my mind as I was in the hot tub. I had my big red book with me in that tub. And I made some notes that I wanted to share with you.
All right. So first is, those of you who’ve taken a program with me know that I take issue with the concept of productivity in general, because it comes from enslavement culture.
I know that may sound harsh or controversial to some folks. But it’s also the truth. You can literally go online and find historically that the idea of productivity, the idea of humans as resources, the idea of people’s work equals their worth comes from the enslavement era here in the United States. There was actually a guy who published these charts where the overseers could keep track of how much people were outputting every year.
And by virtue of keeping track of each enslaved human being’s output, they would determine how to treat that person, that would determine whether to beat that person, they would determine how much more to ask of that person to output the next year. And it turns out it was wildly effective at increasing the output of cotton picked by enslaved human beings every year.
It was also wildly effective at encoding in the collective unconscious, the idea that you need to be productive all of the time meaning producing all of the time. So I have a very, very strong issue with that concept.
You are not here to be a good little cog. You are you know an iconic creator and conduit for something that is coming from Source through you.
There’s this beautiful Audrey Lorde quote about how the Master’s House will never be dismantled by the Master’s tools. And if you are listening to me, if you’re watching me on Instagram, if you are you know my actual client that I’m speaking this to, your work is liberation work. It is liberating for you, it is liberating for that your audiences, and they get a contact high off from your work of the energy that you were in as you created the work. Okay? So you really cannot create liberating work for your people, liberating beautiful things until you start to click into and get into that energy of Creation and fruitfulness and fruition versus productivity. Okay. And so then you need to learn how to create.
What does that mean? It means you got to learn how to create the way creation is created, the way creation is created is real in nature. And in divine mind is like, seeds are planted, or bees drop pollen, okay.
And then like, they go underground for a bit for a minute, things get things are dark all around for a minute, as like nourishment comes through the soil as other collaborative components of divine mind of nature of Source of Spirit of All That Is. Come join your creative party, right.
And so water comes, sunlight comes, nutrition, nourishment comes through the soil, and it takes time. And all of that time is not time growing above ground.
In my newsletters, I have told the stories over the years of the bamboo that grows for all those years, only growing its root systems totally dormant from appearing from the top. And then all of a sudden, all of this height begins to grow above ground. Right?
This is the same if you’ve ever heard Abraham Hicks talk about if you were the farmer and you planted the seeds for the kernels of corn, and then you dug it up every single time you got frustrated or impatient with it, you would never grow anything right?
If you were looking for productivity, nothing would ever have a chance to really grow.
Alright, I see someone on here saying she’s working on really committing this time to doing my Do Your Dream program. And yes, Do Your Dream is actually a perfect companion to this conversation that we’re having right now. And it is validation for you from All That Is, from Source, from Spirit.
That you are in the right place at the right time. If you’re starting Do Your Dream over, we’re actually going to do a new live version of Do Your Dream later in the year called “Do the damn thing.” And I think it is also a perfect companion program to the original Do Your Dream, the recorded version which you have access to. So I give thanks for you too.
So yeah, I think productivity, you can begin to let that concept die.
That may actually be some of the work that you’re calling to write this book, client of mine, your callings, your dreams, your soulful dreams, your sacred contracts are trying to do the work in you of dissolving out that productivity culture and cultural conditioning.
So also let me just say a few other things. When you approach a project like my client’s book, whatever your dream callings and sacred contracts are, you should feel overwhelmed. If you didn’t feel overwhelmed, you probably wouldn’t really be understanding your assignment.
If you didn’t feel like you’re hitting your struggles which are slipping on, if you didn’t feel some level of discomfort because you’re stepping outside of your comfort zone, I would be concerned that you didn’t understand exactly what we were here to do.
We are here to create things that will bring liberation wholeness, joy, reclamation of the Divine to this generation and to future generations.
That is the work we are doing. And to you, first and foremost, to you. Okay so like it’s not a small thing we’re setting out to do, it is outside of your comfort zone all transformation is. So you know that if you’re hitting your resistance, if you’re hitting your struggle switch, if your inner critic is sparking on, if you are hitting imposter syndrome, you are doing it right, you are on the right track. If you are hitting that place of fear, like struggle switch, like “oh my gosh, what am I doing?” That is always a sore. The root cause of that feeling is always fear and all of that fear is exhilaration at your own coming expansion. All of that fear is unintegrated excitement.
Okay, and the only way you can integrate the unintegrated excitement, the unintegrated exhilaration, your own expansion is to wholeheartedly just it’s as in chair, do the words. It’s as in hot tub, let your inner pipeline open up.
If you feel a little lost in the woods, that’s because there’s no blueprint for where you’re going. There is no precise. Now I’ve got a roadmap for you, but it’s a flexible one. There is no precise exact checklist or instruction list for the life of radical liberation, radical wholeness, radical well-being spiritually, physically, radical prosperity, wealth, health, wisdom, you know, full creative self-expression, there’s no blueprint for that life.
You don’t probably know anyone that’s living that most people do not know anyone who is living that life in total integrity.
All right. So there’s no checklist for it, which is why you start to feel a little lost in the woods at the beginning of this process.
All right, there’s no checklist there’s no blueprint, but I got you on some mentorship, some assistance, some guidance, some tools, and what you do have and can always trust in is that there is a pipeline.
Okay, there is not a blueprint, there is a pipeline. And that pipeline is within you. You possess running up the inside of your spirit, an inner, limitless reservoir and pipeline through which all inspiration, all creative power, all divine intelligence, all the limitless love that you know, drapes, so that is your divine inheritance that flows through every cell of your body if you can learn to let it, you have that pipeline within you.
And productivity, culture, tracking, rushing, judging your process, all that stuff does is clog up the pipeline and constrict it. So what that what is trying to come through you cannot come through you, okay.
And so the practices you know, the daily ritual practices of sitting, the practices of freewriting, practices of prompted journaling, all the feminine divine feminine self-care practices of like closing out the world a bit getting in the Steam Room, turning inward reflection, pause and reflection.
I saw an email from Peloton this week, they said they took a bunch of their live classes off the calendar so that the whole company could have a moment of pause and reflection. And I was like, I don’t know how it’s gonna go for them. But what I do know is that is a very countercultural, and it is actually a mature divine feminine trait to take moments sacred pause, turn inward, reflect.
Okay, those things feel like they’re taking more time allowing yourself to write a really messy rough draft of whatever you’re writing or create a really messy, rough draft of whatever you’re creating.
That feels like it’s taking more time. But the truth is, it’s opening your inner pipeline. It’s opening you up to inspired ideas, it’s opening you up to golden threads of inspiration to drop in and flow in.
Right. And so I wanted to share a tiny bit about my own process, because I do these things now, they are matter of ritual for me, not habit, but ritual.
So I wanted to share, because I know many of you know me in my work, and you know that I’m prolific.
Depending on where I’m at and what projects I’m working on, I can write, you know, for years, I’ve written on average 20 or 25,000 words, a week, a normal book right now is about 50 in the marketplace today is like 50 or 60,000 words. So I’m writing about half a book every week. And it’s good.
It’s good, y’all know I ain’t humble. I’m thinking humble is cute. So it’s like very good writing. And I will tell you, I spend about three to five times as much time, every day, every week, and on every project, managing my state of openness, getting into that place of inspiration.
I spend three to five times as much time on cultivating that openness and inspired state and flow state. And getting back into connection with All That Is getting back into connection with my sacred strengths and gifts and talents and geniuses and inner genius and unleashing that inner genius. I spend three to five times as much time doing that as I spend actually writing. Three to five times. That’s why I only coach and teach and take meetings one day a week.
So like today, I spent till about 10:30 this morning just getting into the state. I only have childcare till like I mean, I have it for a lot longer than I use it. But I only have childcare, you know, I’ll go pick her up at like maybe 3, but that’s okay. Because by 10:30, 11 I’m so deep in my zone of genius that I’m creating. I’m like Hamilton like I’m running out of time but it feels like I’ve got all the time in the world.
Someone on Instagram is saying, “Tell me who that is.” It’s someone I know if you spin 1425 love she loves the habit versus ritual reframe here in SoulTour Landia in the metaphysician Landia we do ritual, versus just habit.
You have some habits. But habits are sort of automatic and mindless. Ritual is sacred and meaningful. It’s like we are setting this apart and saying this is an important meaningful thing. That’s what we’re doing.
So I invite you to trade in your concept of productivity. For the concept of fruitfulness, a fruitful creation. And fruitful creation has seeds, it’s cyclical, it’s seasonal, you’re going to take the time to get into the flow mode, you’re going to take the time to let things flow, you’re going to let the early writing early creating be bad, you’re going to understand that your assignment in the earliest stage is not just to get things out, it’s to get yourself in a state of back in connection, have tuned in and tapped back into your own natural strengths and power and work so that you can get the flow going.
Alright, and these are spiritual muscles. There is never a need for any judgment about whether you’ve been doing it right or wrong.
Truly the reason you have these dreams is not even so that the book can get created or so the thing can business can get out in the world. It’s that those dreams really want to do work in you including having that career in you of teaching you to deeply in your body and your spirit trust that divine order and divine timing are real. They run the show around here. And they are in your favor all the time. All the time. All the time. All the time all the time.
I love Tosha Silver says “even your delays are benefiting you.”
Even the things you feel like are you slowing down, are you procrastinating, even that benefits you in the end if you do it this way. Okay, great.
Ashley, thank you. She says she’s a vocal participant, a serious lover of things that I do. And you’ve been following for a couple of years. I cherish you too. This is co-creation, we’re not just doing that. I’m not just out, you’re doing this in my living room on my own. There is an energy of co-creation here. And so I love that it’s good for me to know your name. Ashley. Thank you.
So before I sign off, I just want to share a couple of the declarations that I do every day that I think help put you into the practice of these principles that I’ve taught on this session.
When I wake up in the morning, I say a lot of things and one of the most important is that, “I give thanks that the divine genius plan for our lives me and my family, my me and my clients me and my business, me and my team and my vendors, I give thanks that the divine genius plan for our lives now comes to pass under grace, overcome seas, and imperfect, wonderful, surprising and delightful ways. I now release resistance to every element and stage of that divine genius plan. And I give thanks for knowing that right now today, in every moment of this day is an element and stage of the Divine genius plan. So I now surrender my calendar to divine order and timing.”
Now, so those are a couple of those declarations that I use all the time to get me on the same page and on the same calendar and on the same timeline as divine order and timing.
And I will tell you that once I really am practicing that declaration a lot. There’s my declaration shift over the months and years. When I practice that one very quickly, you know, it’s working because your day stops going your way.
What you wake up and plan to do is rarely what actually happens that day. Like I didn’t plan to do this live right now. My plan was to do a live for Transformation Tuesday, tomorrow on Tuesday. But then my client sent this email, and it had a couple things in it. And I was like no, she needs an answer to that now. I feel an answer to that now.
There’s somebody who needs to hear this now. And I come on Instagram Live and Ashley’s like, oh, I needed this exact confirmation of what I’ve been doing this exact time because I’m starting Do Your Dream again. And oh my gosh, this is exactly. That’s how this works.
I get that email 20 times a week seriously, somebody being like, “Oh my gosh, you said this exact thing that I needed to hear at that exact moment” and it came into my inbox or my you know, Insta feed at the exact moment in time. And I’m like, right. That’s because I’m surrendering my calendar to divine order and timing every single day.
So yeah, it means that my best-laid plans for my day don’t always go that way. But usually, my day goes a million times better than anything like, like the old Bible verse says anything that I could ask, think of or imagine, like my actual day turns out way better than that. And it’s more joyful than that in the work I create, whether it’s a video, whether it’s writing, whatever it is, is 10 times better.
Alright, so it’s 11:11 on the west coast of North America right in this moment, which I think is a perfect time to end this session.
I will see you guys on the next transformation Tuesday. I love you. Keep your head up, keep your heart out and know that I am like in the lab cooking some delicious things up for us to rendezvous together on and with.
Yes, these declarations are a practice of total trust. And I promise you when you begin to trust something greater than you for the plans for your day, and for your life, all you do is open your inner pipeline and let everything this universe is trying to get to you. You just open up and let it in.
Alright, I love you. I’ll see you soon.
Head up + heart out,
P.S.: Want more like this? Become a SoulTour subscriber for just $11 a month.
Tara-Nicholle Kirke, MA, Esq. The Inner Critic Coach™️ Founder + CEO of SoulTour
If you want your feelings of Big “Dream Deferred” energy to dissolve and transmute into Big Dream energy, you must understand a few things.
You must understand that your big dreams—your most delectable, most audacious life dreams on any subject—are part of the million line-item long spiritual curriculum of things you came into this life to experience.
We call this curriculum your Sacred Contract.
Your Big Dreams are essential components of your cosmic assignments—albeit an assignment the larger, Divine Ocean assigned to the smaller Divine Droplet that is you, so it’s more like a self-assignment than an externally-imposed assignment.
Know this: You DO have an assignment.
More accurately, you have assignments, plural.
Your Big Dreams are on the list of your sacred contract assignments, but MOST of your Sacred Contracts are not Huge Big Things to build, perform or create.
Your sacred contract—your assignments—include everything you came into life to be, do, have, learn, create, experience, savor, grieve and enjoy. So they number in the millions, or trillions or even more.
So know this, too: In order to do your Big Dreams, you’ll need to break programming, break patterns, break from culture, break your old self-sabotaging thought patterns and action (or inaction) habits, and break your resistance to your own highest good.
In other words, your Big Dreams—if you have the courage to step toward them—will require you to learn and unlearn what you need to learn and unlearn, to become who you came here to become.
This, Brilliant One, is a process.
And processes have stages.
So here’s another principle to catch: At any given moment, you must understand your assignment for THIS stage of reclaiming your wholeness and re-learning how to be your Big Self.
And catch this principle #5: You must continuously recalibrate your understanding of your assignment for THIS stage… this season, if you will.
Here’s #6: Best practice is to refrain from judging, tracking or grading your progress, because you’re basically always nailing it.
You can’t get it wrong.
You’re here in this life, creating.
And when unwanted outcomes occur… when things take longer than you think they should… under the principles of Divine Order and Divine Timing, every single one of these plot twists and delays can ultimately benefit you (if you decide to let nothing be for nothing).
But IF you must grade your own assignment, make sure you’re grading yourself on the assignment for THIS stage.
Here’s what I mean.
A friend of mine recently decided to commit to stop self-silencing and say what she means, particularly with her partner.
And so she did.
And she reported back that the first conversation she initiated as part of her new commitment to free-and-clear communications was a disaster.
That she timed the conversation poorly.
That she didn’t know what to say, and blurted some shit out.
That she got flustered.
That her partner didn’t take it well and didn’t agree to her requests.
She felt like she was failing as a skillful communicator.
But I told her I’d give her an A+ as a baby, fledgling, fully self-expressing human.
And I shared with her my own process of building the skills and muscles I’ve built that allow me to honor The Commitment I made about 15 years ago to fully express myself. (We’ll talk more about The Commitment soon).
I told her how when I first made The Commitment and first started practicing free-and-clear communications, and first started setting boundaries, I was kind of like This Kitty:
I looked sweet. My intentions and heart were pure as the driven snow. And I was so un-skillful, I would just blow shit up, leaving a whole lot of spiritual shrapnel behind.
And then I committed to my Daily Ritual. I started using the sitting time and writing time to get clear on what parts of a conversation were mine to have with my own Inner Being—and which parts I needed to bring to the other person.
I got clearer and clearer on what hard conversations needed to be had, and when.
I started to practice what I learned in Necessary Endings, including the nuances involved in detecting whether you need to end a pattern or a relationship.
I started studying Non-Violent Communications and would literally script out my hard conversations before I had them, to get the energy of nervousness and fear worked out, and to go in with more confidence that I would be comprehensive and grounded in my talk.
I took The Four Agreements and committed to be impeccable with my words, which does not mean perfect but does mean to never weaponize your words.
And I did all of that for years, whilst practicing free-and-clear communications in real time, allll the time, letting my spirit get the new wiring and feedback loops of how terrible it felt when I didn’t honor The Commitment and how free-and-clear I came to feel inside all the time when I did.
And now it is much, MUCH easier for me to identify hard conversations that need to be had, initiate them, and have them skillfully.
It is much, MUCH easier to do this without manipulating, and without fretting about the outcome…
Without worry about other people’s discomfort…
Without worrying whether they can handle it…
Without worrying about pleasing them or upsetting them…
Without worrying about whether they will withhold or withdraw their love and approval of me…
And even without worrying about whether they’ll ultimately do what I want them to do.
But at the beginning, I told my friend, before you knew me?
And you know what?
In retrospect, I give Kitty Walking Away From Self-Created Explosion Tara an A+ just like I gave my friend.
Because at that stage my assignment was not to be a skillful, free-and-clear communicator and boundary creator.
At THAT stage, my assignment was to break generations-old patterns of self-silencing, self-divorcing, hiding my own light, and NOT speaking up for myself, saying what is true and asking for what I need.
And at THAT stage, I shined light. I dared to walk toward the chaos monsters that self-silencing had created in my own mind with open arms and warmth. I broke those patterns.
A++++++.
Listen: When your kid learns to ride a bike and falls down, you don’t shame them or tell them what a shit job they’re doing.
You don’t compare them to the folks in the Tour de France, or even the kids who have a year of bike-riding experience under their little belts.
You cheer them on for getting one single pedal rotation on their own before they realize they did that and lose balance.
Your heart soars when they pedal a few times even though they’ve still got training wheels on.
You are ELATED when you take the training wheels off and they can make it a hundred meters without you helping them keep their balance.
And when they fall down, AND GET BACK UP… that’s the win, because that’s all the assignment was!
So, if you’re trying to break old patterns that keep you small or hide your light…
And anytime you’re trying to step out of your comfort zone and let the New Beginnings begin…
Understand your assignment for that specific, transformational, breakthrough season, stage or moment.
Don’t let PERFORM, CONFORM, PRODUCE conditioning or culture have you judging yourself with advanced standards when you’re just a beautiful, baby, beginner.
Give yourself an A+ for breaking the pattern or breaking out of your comfort zone, even if the way you do it is way less masterful or beautiful than you usually do things.
Even if you feel a little like this:
Head up + heart out,
P.S.: Want more like this? Become a SoulTour subscriber for just $11 a month.
Tara-Nicholle Kirke, MA, Esq. The Inner Critic Coach™️ Founder + CEO of SoulTour
