Friends,

Here’s the AUDIO for your Transformation Tuesday.

A friend of mine who used to work in ad agencies pointed out the hidden wonders within a cosmetics industry factoid: that Chinese village-women are buying bottled shampoo in measurable numbers for the first time in human history.

This, he cited as a strange-but-true proof point of the unparalleled prosperity of the time in which we live, globally speaking.

I have many, many more proof points of this unparalleled prosperity. Humans on 2018 Planet Earth are the most educated they’ve ever been. The chances a human will die a violent death are the lowest they’ve ever been, in human history. Childhood mortality? The lowest it has ever been.

In the 1980’s, over half of the world’s humans lived below the poverty line. Now it’s down to around 10 or 12%.

Every single day, I appreciate the fact of my own personal unparalleled prosperity: I have never missed a meal. I get to eat beautiful, nourishing food every day of my life, with brilliant, hilarious friends and loved ones. I travel the world, I speak to audiences who love to hear me and I own a beautiful home in my favorite city on earth. I have multiple advanced degrees. I have a wonderful business and delightful customers that came to me by inspiration, by grace and in a wonderful way.

I am love and I have love.

And let’s keep it real: my grandmother’s grandmother was a slave. Every moment of my life is my ancestors’ very wildest dream. Their prayers pre-paved my reality.

I live in unparalleled prosperity. Every person reading or listening to this does, if you think about it. Our scarcity beliefs are largely unfounded, when you examine them under the lens of our unparalleled prosperity.

From that understanding, the bounce upwards to more and more flourishing, thriving and prospering doesn’t seem like such a great distance does it?

Today, reflect on or write about this: Is there any area of your life in which you can see unparalleled prosperity, where you have access to more abundance, more prosperity, than you ever have before… or maybe more than anyone in your family line ever has before?

Are there multiple areas of your life in which unparalleled prosperity is dominant?

Reflect on or write about this, for as long as you can today.

Appreciate this prosperity, remembering that what you appreciate appreciates. It grows.

NOTE: I’m heading to Palm Springs to join teachers like Marianne Williamson, Paul Hawken and Glennon Doyle, at Wanderlust’s newest event, Wellspring, October 26 – 28.

I’ll be teaching about how to hear your Inner Guidance, how to get into the flow state and how to bring 100% of yourself to work… including your SOUL.

To join me at Wellspring, get tickets here. I’d so love to see you there.

Head up + heart out,

TNN

Sign up for my Transformation Tuesday newsletter, here: http://www.taranicholle.com/transformation-tuesday

Brilliant One,

Here’s the AUDIO of our Transformation Tuesday story for today.

The other day I was reminded of a story I tell way too little: the story of my time with my friend Achsa.

When I was 19 years old, for several years I worked with a woman at the other end of the age spectrum: she was 90 when we met. I typed, helped her develop and, eventually, publish her memoirs as she spoke them to me, straight from memory, right in her living room.

I’ve written three books now, and number four is in the works. But Achsawas the first book I ever worked on.

Exhibit A: Achsa, by and about my friend Achsa Barnwell Peacock Holfelder Donnels.

And boy did that book tell a story. Achsa was one of the first women pilots licensed to fly in the United States. Her first plane was an open biplane, and she told (as I typed) stories of flying before licenses existed, before instruments and air traffic control existed and before planes were closed on top, flying so low back then that as she flew over Fresno she could smell whether oranges or lemons were in season.

And as long ago as that seems, she went back even further. She told me about her father owning the first car in town, and about the accidents that happened when brand-new drivers forgot what to do and yelled “whoa” in an effort to stop their cars, as they’d done with their horses before that.

She told how her husband bought her a surplus plane in a crate from the Air Force after the First World War, for $500.

She told me about taking turns with this husband flying the US mail to Mexico, she told me about how they lived on a houseboat in Alameda (very near where I live now), and she told me about loving, then losing each of her three husbands and her two children.

I learned many things during my time with Achsa, who was a permanent fixture in my life until she transitioned, at age 99. But one thing I learned was an unspoken lesson: that, unlike the common platitude says, life can actually be long. Time is abundant. Many of us get to have many seasons of this life, and we get to shape and morph into many editions of ourselves along that journey.

That helped with my impatience, which was born of time scarcity. It also totally revolutionized the way I viewed aging at a formative time in my life. Achsa was an adventurer, back in the day and still, when I knew her. When her friends all transitioned, she made (much) younger friends.

And she was all the versions of her she’d ever been, sitting in her living room, sharing her life with me and shaping the stories of what she’d lived. What she’d been. Who she’d been. Who she’d become. Making meaning of it all, delightedly.

Through her words, my life became more of an adventure, more playful, not without upsets and grave moments, to be sure. But still an adventure, and an abundant one.

I’ve learned the abundance of time, money and many other elemental resources of this planet from many experiences in my life, but this story was on my heart to share today.

Today, write or reflect on this: Can you look back on your life and pinpoint an experience through which you observed, learned or received the great abundance of our universe? I

t could be a single moment in which the vastness of the ocean took your breath away, or an experience that unfolded over years with ups and downs, twists and turns.

Either way, look for and tell the story of how you’ve seen the abundance of anything—time, money, love, leaves, sand, joy, anything—in this universe, and revel in your appreciation of that, today.

NOTE: On occasion, or maybe like 10 times a day, it is a wonderful thing to remind yourself that you are simply one more brilliant microcosm of evidence of the unlimited abundance and endless prosperity of this universe.

Every hair on your head is evidence.

Every cell in your body.

Every breath you’ve ever breathed.

Every time your heart beat.

It’s all evidence. YOU are evidence.

Have you ever heard the Anne Lamott quote, the one about how “Lighthouses don’t go running around looking for boats to save. They just stand there shining.”?

Today, can you just shine your status as the evidence of the unstoppable prosperity of our world?

You don’t have to convince yourself.

You certainly don’t have to run around looking for anyone else to convince.

Just shine. Being the evidence that you are. Receiving ease, receiving space, receiving grace. Unhurried. Unrushed. Unjudged. Even by yourself.

Especially by yourself.

All day today, just BE and beam out your personal proof of prosperity, in the form of your sheer existence.

TWO BRIEF INVITATIONS:

Next week, I’ll be in Chicago at the Cusp Conference on October 24th. Cusp Conference is 25+ inspiring presenters, all of whose life work is around designing a brilliant future world.

(I’m representing Spiritual Entrepreneurship. No big deal.)

Then, I’m heading to Palm Springs to join teachers like Marianne Williamson, Paul Hawken and Glennon Doyle, at Wanderlust’s newest event, Wellspring, October 26 – 28.

I’ll be teaching about how to hear your Inner Guidance, how to get into the flow state and how to bring 100% of yourself to work… including your SOUL.

To join me at Wellspring, get tickets here. I’d so love to see you there.

Head up + heart out,

TNN

Sign up for my Transformation Tuesday newsletter, here: http://www.taranicholle.com/transformation-tuesday

Brilliant One,

Brilliant One,

You’re welcome to listen to this Transformation Tuesday Newsletter, here.

Growing up, I had about 8 teachers I loved, and they loved me back. But one in particular had me figured all the way out: Mrs. Conway. I had her twice: in 4th and 6th grades. Her daughter was my friend, so we spent a lot of time together at school and afterwards.

Mrs. Conway knew me very, very well.

And because she knew me so well. Mrs. Conway frequently asked me to sing a song she thought might have been written for (or about?) me: The Patience Song.

The chorus went like this:

Have patience, have patience

Don’t be in such a hurry

When you get impatient, you only start to worry

Remember, remember that God is patient, too

And think of all the times when others have to wait for you

The reason she thought this song was for me was that I was a kid on a mission. All the time. I moved fast and I thought fast, on every subject and through every project. Okay fine, maybe that hasn’t totally changed. But I was the kind of kid who used to pray for a fast-forward button on life so we could get on with things.

And like the song said: My impatience did cause me to worry. But there were a couple of other things the song got wrong:

1. I was, actually, faster than the other kids at school. So I didn’t think others ever had to wait for me, and
2. I was the most impatient, by far, with my own little self and my own little life.

Whether it was a piano piece I was practicing, or a speech choir performance, or a talk I needed to give, or an entire year of school: the urge to get it done, check the box and be onto the next was sometimes so strong it felt like I became my impatience. My teachers learned not to put me in group projects, because in my impatience with the other members, I’d just do the whole thing myself.

I was heartily rewarded, time after time, for this fast-forwarding through life… until the system sort of broke down. I graduated from high school early, got married very early, had kids incredibly early, went to grad school and law school super early, got divorced early, and by all accounts was successful… until I wasn’t.

Because when you fast-forward through life, impatient for what’s next, you don’t actually experience the beauty of gradualness: the growth, the deep learning, the skin-thickening, the purpose-unfolding and the life skills that you can only develop with time and experience.

Fortunately, life teaches us what we need to learn. And after years and years of fast-forwarding and constantly running into my own inner roadblocks, life sat me down. Life slowed me down, with a couple of divorces, a series of health problems, and oh yeah: that Not-So-Great Recession.

I was “successful” from the outside looking in, but I was running into enough inner friction, enough of my own patterns that weren’t working, and enough Resistance to take a pause, recalibrate and reflect on my life’s path thus far.

That’s when I could see that I had gotten very far in life, accomplishment-wise, through force, effort and my own might. But at the same time, just like back in school, my impatience had hardened into an extreme, dysfunctional self-reliance. I had no time to wait for others, or for their process of life to unfold. I was uninterested in being dependent on others, which felt much riskier than doing it all on my own.

My impatience had isolated me. But life was teaching me what I know now: that we thrive and create and grow and love and live best in community, in connection with our Source and with each other. I learned that every relationship is a golden link in the chain of my good, because I learn from every single experience.

As I did this life look-back, it became crystal clear that every big breakthrough, powerful pivot and massive blessing that had supercharged my joy and my life were all things I could not have and did not make happen under my own power.

I’m a woman of action with a spirit of excellence, don’t get me wrong. I listened, I showed up and I stepped out. I stayed the course when that felt right and I put the time in. Still do. But it was always a carefully placed person, word, seeming miracle, unearned grace, invitation or opportunity that cracked the code: that unlocked the most prosperity, the most beauty, the best career, the thrilling-est adventures, the most love and the most joy in my life.

It was never my personal contriving or striving. Never my personal force.

The endless list of reckless blessings I’ve received? I received. I didn’t force them to happen.

The beauty of all this dot-connecting is that I’ve learned to slow down, and to trust life. I now know that everything is always working out for me.

I now know that I’ll never be “done” with what I’m here to create, so the fun of life is letting the process play out, and letting myself be delighted by how things come together along the way.

I’ve learned not to be a woman of perpetual motion, but rather to harness the leverage of inspired action: to invite and receive inspiration, then milk it when it comes and back off when I fall back into the habit of nose-to-grindstone.

This is all part of my practice of Radical Acceptance. I aim to radically, without exception, accept and allow every single thing about myself, and my experience of life, to be what it is—including the process and the truth that everything takes time.

I even accept and allow the unwanted bits, including the unwanted emotions. Including the fact that I’m wired for impatience.

Radical acceptance sounds like it’d be passive or demotivating. But this is one of the most transformational paradoxes I can ever teach: When you practice accepting everything about yourself, about life and about others, a bit shift takes place. You release the struggle against what is—a struggle that occupies vast quantities of human life force and comprises a massive chunk of all human suffering.

And when you release that struggle? Everything changes. It’s like your natural state is the state of thriving to which you’ve been aspiring. The struggle against the process was a kink in your ability to live in your natural state.

When you release the struggle, you gradually return to who you really are: a loving, beloved, creator.

Now, I know some of you wonder what I even mean when I call myself, or call you, a creator, so let me address that here. I don’t necessarily mean that you are a creative: like an artist, designer, or craftsperson, though you may also be that.

Here’s what I mean. Humans are the only beings on this planet, that we know of, that have the power to think an idea or a thought about something that doesn’t exist in a way others can see or touch… and then cause that thing to exist.

At my house, we’d call that a superpower.

Sit with that. Revel in that. That’s core to who you are. You can turn your thoughts into reality. That’s what I mean when I talk about creative power or the creative process.

And because that’s who we are, it’s natural to get impatient with that creative process. It’s natural to intensely feel the lack of what it is that you want to create, especially in the wake of cultural storylines that tell us we must produce, perform or conform in order to be okay, or worthy.

But here’s what I now know: being creators doesn’t mean we’re here for the output, for the stuff we create. We’re here for the process of creating, for the unfolding and expansion and growth and joy and momentum of the process. That’s the joy of life: the creative process itself, not the things we stack up in the bank or hang on the wall. And it only gets joyful when you realize:

• that you’re not alone,
• that everything in the universe will line up to help your creative process once you decide what you want to create,
• that we are always expanding in the direction of wellbeing, and
• that you cannot ever make a wrong decision: you can only move closer to joy or closer to clarity on how to move closer to joy.

If you identify with the plight of Little Tara, the Impatient Creator, I want to leave you with 3 spiritual mic-drops. Here’s #1:

Small things grow.

This is a law of the Universe and we don’t have to force it to happen. In fact, all along the way and as a result of the process, we grow, too, if we learn to relax, accept and allow our experiences to clarify why we’re here and get us ready for the wonders to come.

Someone shared #2, a related mic-drop moment, with me last week, as it perfectly encapsulates what I teach and how I aim to live:

You are allowed to be both a masterpiece and a work-in-progress.

I’ve learned that the best platform for creating a life you love to look at is not to gear up for battle, or nitpick yourself into discontent, or to fret about your current lack of what you desire. Rather, in the words of one of my own teachers, the way to create a life you love to look at and love to live, along the way, is to practice being both:

Satisfied with what is and eager for more.

Mic: dropped.

Head up + heart out,

TNN

Sign up for my Transformation Tuesday newsletter, here: http://www.taranicholle.com/transformation-tuesday

Quick reminder: Enrollment for the School of Upliftment closes at the end of this week. School starts October 1st. You’re invited: https://school.soultour.com

Now it’s time for Transformation Tuesday. Here’s the AUDIO. Enjoy!

I’m in New York this week, speaking and working and playing, too. On the flight here I learned something I thought I’d share with you. The work-till-you-drop culture on many American college campuses has inspired researchers to create a new name for an old problem: They call it “Duck Syndrome.”

Duck Syndrome is when you glide through the world, day in and day out, looking calm, serene and effortless on the surface, while you are paddling desperately just to stay afloat, beneath the water.

For many ambitious, smart, successful people, Duck Syndrome is just how life goes. It didn’t start in college, and it doesn’t end there, either.

At a work lunch awhile back, my companion stopped our conversation, waved her arm to indicate all the well-heeled, well-behaved, shiny and successful people in the room, and asked, “Do you see how everyone is walking around, just acting like everything’s okay, when everything is really so hard?!” She asked, “Why does just act like everything’s good all the time, when they know things are actually really difficult?”

The struggle is real, is what she was saying.

And it’s true that for many people, the struggle feels real. It’s also true that most of those people are acting like everything’s A-OK.

But neither the struggle nor the acting is true for everyone. As I see it, Duck Syndrome suggests a simple 2×2 into which all people fall:

Exhibit A: The Duck Syndrome Framework

As you can see, there are at least three strategies to get out of the deep bondage and self-repression of Duck Syndrome (which probably does describe the largest number of ambitious people in our culture).

Let’s go clockwise from the top left of the 2×2:

Duck Syndrome Elimination Strategy #1: Struggle Honestly.

People who fall into this category let themselves feel the stress and strain of the struggle, and they also fully express that they’re struggling outwardly. This at least eliminates the internal power struggle of trying to push the unwanted emotion away and keep it hidden. And it may invite support or help. In some ways, this is preferable to Duck Syndrome, even though it’s not fun.

This is maybe the second largest group of folks. These are the people who can often be heard to say “the struggle is real” or “adulting is hard.” This is also true sometimes on some subjects for people who generally try to live in Strategy #3.

Duck Syndrome Elimination Strategy #2: Not Struggling, but Acting Like They Are.

The people in this category have stopped the struggle. They’ve found ways to make life easier. Or they weren’t really struggling that hard in the first place. These people aren’t struggling that hard, but they’re still acting like they are, sort of like a reverse Duck Syndrome.

You might be wondering: Why on earth would someone do this?

People do this because our families, our culture and many workplaces reward the well-publicized struggle, making people feel like they’re only worthy and deserving if they are chronically overbooked, overwhelmed or are overcoming something. Anything.

Our culture builds monuments to glorify the struggle… and loves to hate on those to whom great things seem to flow with ease.

It’s noteworthy that these people may not even know they’re doing this. They might even tell themselves that their life is harder than it actually is, because they believe there’s extra credit for doing things the hard way, or because “struggle” is a long-ingrained part of their identity, individually or culturally.

Duck Syndrome Elimination Strategy #3: Deactivate the Struggle.

This is the smallest group of all: The group that lives most of the time free of both the struggle and the facade.

And you can become one of them. You can learn how to de-chaos your nervous system, how to envision and embody your desires and dreams, how to invite and receive inspiration and how to act on that inspiration when it comes.

You can learn how to receive assistance for doing your dreams from the Infinite Intelligence, the Limitless Love and the Creative Power that formed and fuels this world.

In this way, you can get out of reactive mode, recalibrate and tap back into your natural strength and power. You can realize that the struggle feels real, but it might not actually be true, or even necessary, anywhere near as often as everyone else seems to think.

It is a counter-culture way to live, but you can flip the struggle switch off.

If you practice Strategy #3, I’m not saying you’ll never have a hard day, never need to put in focused effort, or never have a struggle again in life. I’m not even saying you can go from Duck Syndrome to struggle-free in every area of your life at the same time.

But I am saying this life is possible: A life of ever-increasing ease and flow in your transitions, and in the journey of life. A life that harnesses the leverage of inspired action. A life of lighthearted playfulness and—to quote one of my favorite Daily Declarations these days—choosing to see it as a treasure when you find a limiting belief, habit or script in your own head to release.

How do you create that life? It’s a process. It’s like building a muscle. It’s like building a body full of muscles, more accurately.

• You do daily practices that cleanse, soothe and cushion your spirit from the chaos and toxicity of everyday life in our culture.
• You learn how to spot and release your inner roadblocks—the beliefs that limit you.
• You upgrade your whole belief system, and line up your beliefs with your desires and your dreams.
• And then you make moves in life, knowing you can’t get it wrong: Every step you make gets you closer to fulfillment or more clear on what will get you closer to fulfillment.

So you learn, over time, to have fun with this life journey, as you peel back the layers of family, social, cultural and life conditioning to return to the pure, worthy perfection of who you really are and what you’re really here, on this planet, to create.

This is the exact same process we apply to flip the struggle switch off in every area of our lives in my School of Upliftment. Enrollment is now open.

⇒ Learn more or join us, here: https://school.soultour.com ⇐

Here’s what students say about the School:

Santosha said: “I have had so many breakthroughs in this program.”

“I am getting clarity on what it is that I want. My daily thinking patterns are changing from seeing the world through a very negative scope to being positive and learning to cope with things that show up as disappointments. I am learning how to do life.”

Aparna said: “The prompts and declarations have been powerful and I find the live calls so impactful.”

“Instead of over-analyzing what I have or haven’t done, I’m living in greater acceptance and reflecting on what the change might mean for my greater well-being.”

Dr. Evelyn wrote: “The declarations replace my limiting thoughts with expansive and empowering ones.”

Meredith said: “I would have less direction and momentum without the School of Upliftment.”

And Corinne described it as “So worthwhile. The School of Upliftment is the greatest gift you can give to yourself if you’re ready to change your life.

The progress has a ripple effect. Each bit I learn, gain insight into, understand and incorporate into my inner being, the more I see outside in my life. I have shifted to a better place and my life is reflecting this.”

REMINDER: Enrollment for the School of Upliftment closes at the end of this week, and the next session of School starts Monday, October 1.

You can spend as much or as little time in the School as you have during a given week. It’s sort of like your spiritual filling station, or newspaper. It’s always there for you. It meets you wherever you are that day. You can never fall behind and you never have to catch up.

If you like the idea that the struggle might not be as real as it feels, please join us. I created this program for you.

⇒ Learn more or join us, here: https://school.soultour.com ⇐

Head up + heart out,

TNN

Sign up for my Transformation Tuesday newsletter, here: http://www.taranicholle.com/transformation-tuesday

Dear Sabrina,

Read on, or listen to the AUDIO of today’s newsletter, here.

My dogs (glamour shot, below) have superpowers. Everywhere they go, these two little pugs, people smile. Simply by being who they are, by walking their wobbly walks and proudly wielding their little underbites, they attract Human Beings to come to them, wherever they are. Walking them down the street is like walking down the street with a couple of very small celebrities.

They are magnetic.

Occasionally, when the spirit moves them, my dogs flip the script and theywalk up to total strangers.

Then, in the ultimate exercise of pug-to-human mind control, they flop their little bowling ball bodies down at their new friends’ feet, bellies up: a clear and dramatic instruction to The Big Humans to bend down and get to petting.

This strategy works approximately 100% of the time.

Pictured: Aiko and Sumiko Nelson (collectively “The Girls”) living their best lives in Carmel Valley

You and I may not have an underbite like The Girls do. But we do have a superpower like theirs.

As I sat in the window of my favorite cafe, writing, the other day, I played this game with every person who passed. I’d meet their eye if I could, through the plate glass, and just turn on my thousand-watt smile.

I tried it on the men who looked like they might not have a place to live, and I tried it on the bearded tattooed dudes with grommets in their ears. I tried it on businessmen and mean-looking old ladies.

Without exception, I got them all to smile. As they smiled, one by one, I remembered everything I’d read about what a smile does to your brain and your biochemistry. As they smiled, I envisioned the physical and energetic chain reaction I had triggered by smiling at them in the first place.

The muscular shift in their faces. The reduction of cortisol in their bloodstream. The slight reduction in their blood pressure.

The increase in their energy and their perception of what’s possible for them, that day. The increase in their creativity and their productivity.

I thought about the snowball effect I might have kicked off, whereby they might be nicer to their employee or their kid or partner. The fact that, simply by virtue of having a smile on their face, they are likely to be perceived differently by others. Perceived as more likeable. And more competent.

Then I thought about the increased likelihood that they would still be smiling when they passed the next person on the street, and that the smile contagion would continue, and the chain reaction that could trigger in the next person’s body.

As quiet as it’s kept, your smile is one of your superpowers.

So today, first turn your smile onto yourself. Turn your smile on, and turn it inward. Smile and turn your chemistry and your cells into collaborative components, all working together for your highest good today—for your expansion, for your joy, for harmony in your relationships with others.

For your calm and clarity. Your productivity and your energy.

As you sit and smile with yourself today, keep in mind this observation from biochemist Sondra Barrett, who wrote Secrets of Your Cells:

“Our cells are more than just fortuitous arrangements of chemicals,” she explains. “They are a community of trillions of sentient entities cooperating to create a sanctuary for the human soul.”

Now. I know. You’re a Very Important Businessperson. You want people to take you seriously. I’m not saying you have to go about beaming all the time. I mean, unless you just want to. (Okay, fine. I pretty much do. It just works for me. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯)

What I am saying is that for the cost of a smile (meaning: zero dollars, pounds or Euros), you can instantly transform your physical body into an sanctuary, a respite, a refuge from the toxicity and chaos of the day, for your actual, literal soul.

And I’m saying that for that same exact price (still, zero), by turning your smile on the people you meet during any given day, you can open that refuge to others, hang out your refuge’s shingle and invite them to hang out and stay a while, with you, in this soul sanctuary you’ve created.

And if that’s not a superpower, then I guess I don’t know exactly what is.

Head up + heart out,

TNN

Sign up for my Transformation Tuesday newsletter, here: http://www.taranicholle.com/transformation-tuesday

Friends,

A famous yoga teacher once told me that the transitions between the postures should be as beautiful as each of the postures themselves.

I’ve come to believe that a graceful life is just a series of graceful transitions. In turn, a graceful transition is just series of fully inhabited, fully lived individual moments — moments in which we are aware, unresisting, and allowing. Allowing ourselves to take in the fullness of life, both the wanted and unwanted. Allowing our capacity to take in life’s fullness to expand.

Here’s one more definition I’ve come to know in my 42 years: There actually are no crises. What we think of as crises are actually unwanted transitions. Resisted transitions. Transitions that are trying to surface what needs expanding or releasing. Some crises are just transitions on a mission to clarify what really matters to us, or to show us where we are not fully seeing ourselves, others, life or the world clearly, in all its divine splendor and ultimate wellbeing.

Still other crises are simply transitions in which we’re still are resisting our own ultimate greatness, or we’re still resisting some other truth about the world. Some crises are transitions in which we’re still getting ready to accept the truth that someone else is now an adult and is ready to learn the old action-consequence loop we’ve been interrupting by chronically saving the day.

Whew, okay. Maybe some of that was just for me.

Anyhow, death is the ultimate transition. And this week we were all blessed to witness two modern masters make very intentional, graceful, personalized versions of their own transition.

First, as always: The Queen. Aretha Franklin’s epic funeral was a whole-hearted celebration of her identity: who she really was and why she was really here. Grand. Regal. Her homegoing celebration was threewardrobe changes and eight, nine or 10 hours of revelry in how the Queen of Soul uplifted the world not with her instrument, her quiet activism and her ideals.

The Queen had clearly put some thought into her transition and into the ritual which would commemorate it. Her identity was on center stage, intentionally and literally. In describing her casket, USA Today wrote: “the interior is finished with champagne velvet. Franklin’s title, ‘Queen of Soul,’ and her name ‘Aretha Franklin,’ are embroidered in the casket lining with gold metallic thread.” Song after song serenaded this master musician out of her physical body and back into her eternal state of being, one last time.

Now: The Warrior. Senator McCain was also intentional about his transition, leaving this world on grace notes of beautiful words, ideals and concepts that expressed his identity.

First, a statement from his daughter, Meghan, said simply and poetically: “Today, the Warrior enters his true and eternal life.”

Then, his office released the Senator’s own personal letter, revealing his heart and his love for life and for America.

“I have often observed that I am the luckiest person on earth. I feel that way even now as I prepare for the end of my life. I have loved my life, all of it. I have had experiences, adventures and friendships enough for ten satisfying lives, and I am so thankful. Like most people, I have regrets. But I would not trade a day of my life, in good or bad times, for the best day of anyone else’s.

Do not despair of our present difficulties but believe always in the promise and greatness of America, because nothing is inevitable here. Americans never quit. We never surrender. We never hide from history. We make history.

Farewell, fellow Americans. God bless you, and God bless America.”

As I watched them unfold last week, these two graceful transitions reminded me of a conversation I recently overheard. A CEO I know said he was thinking a lot about his legacy. When asked what legacy meant to him, he said something like: “I want people to remember my name in 100 years.”

That’s one way to look at it. But when I heard him say that, I just thought of all the names on buildings, highways and statues that we pass every day. Those names are technically remembered. But almost none of us know who those people really were or what they were really about.

Almost none of us feel expanded by their ideals—by the beauty of their lives and work—the way that we do by that of The Queen and the Warrior.

The transitions of The Queen and the Warrior were so graceful in part because of who they were and how clear and bold they were about their identity, vision and purpose all throughout their lives, not just at the endings, beautiful though these rituals were.

If anything, we should bid them adieu having received clarity on this one thing: that legacy is not whether random people “remember” your name in 100 years.

Legacy is about how you contribute while you’re here, whether to one family or to a nation. Legacy is about how you live while you’re here, how you love while you’re here, who you influence and impact and uplift while you’re here.

Present tense. Now. While you’re here. Because you are still here.

Legacy is about whether you live this life with freedom, growth and joy. Whether you fully express yourself and get on board with the divine plan for your life. Whether you uplift the people around you. Whether you create something beautiful, and I don’t mean some big piece of art: I mean whether you create a beautiful life. Whether you fully inhabit your life.

Whether you leave upliftment in your wake.

The Queen and the Warrior should leave those of us who are still here in this world clear on one more thing: that our most powerful moment, the only point of influence we will ever have, is right now. You are creating your legacy now, whatever it is. Whoever you are. Whatever matters to you.

NOTE: In my School of Upliftment, right now we’re studying crises, transitions and how to handle both skillfully. We’ll be starting a new class of students on October 1st. Hit reply and let me know if you’re interested, and I’ll share more details. Or get on the waiting list, here: http://soultour.com/school

NOTE #2: If you’re not even sure who you really are or what you want your legacy to be, or you’d like to start walking more fully into your calling, spark some clarity by joining our next 10 Day Writing Challenge, which starts September 10th.

It’s free. Register here: http://soultour.com/writingchallenge

Head up + heart out,

TNN

Sign up for my Transformation Tuesday newsletter, here: http://www.taranicholle.com/transformation-tuesday

Listen to the AUDIO of today’s Transformation Tuesday, here, or read on.

Ok, friends. It’s real-talk time.

You might not know it, but you have an Inner Judge that is always on, always running, inside.

As you move around in the world, it judges everything you see and everything you experience.

That lawn is so pretty. Or too long. Or too brown.

Rain is annoying. Or, rain is so lovely. But only when you can be inside. Or, only when you can get out into it.

I love her.

He’s so dull.

That tag is bothersome. What she said was not cool. I approve. I reject that.

I hate white cars. Boring.

Those people are so hateful.

I love old people. Cats are annoying. That’s fun!

Her hair would be perfect if it was a smidge longer. Or, my life would be perfect if I could live in that house.

I don’t like that. I like that. I love that. I wish they wouldn’t do that.

That is not okay.

Do you see what I mean?

The Inner Judge is constant. Always on. Exhausting.

Letting your Inner Judge run wild is the same as placing a ton of conditions on your own happiness. Constant critique cannot coexist with radical acceptance of life and minding your own business — the two ingredients of unconditional happiness. (Side note: Your own thoughts, actions and emotions = your own business).

Plus, what we focus on grows. So the more we criticize, even if we do so silently, to ourselves, in our own minds, the more we see to criticize. The more energy we put into criticizing. The more space things we dislike or don’t want take up in our consciousness. The more we judge them, the more they grow in our experience of life.

The more we judge, the less we focus on appreciating what we love… and on creating more of that.

The thing is, your Inner Judge also judges you against a standard of rules that was trained into you as a child, very early in life. When you learned language, you also learned what constituted being a good or bad kid. You learned standards for what weight or body shape, or what amount of money made a person good or bad. What skin color or neighborhood was desirable, and which was not. What behavior was okay. What accomplishments made you okay or worthy.

As children, we were rewarded when we conformed to these “agreements,” and were punished when we broke them. That’s how the domestication of humans takes place. And that’s why these beliefs — these constant running judgments of others and self — can feel so real and still not necessarily be true.

Judgment is constant and pervasive in our culture. It can seem harmless and normal, because one of our culture’s broken beliefs is that it’s “normal for humans to suffer, to live in fear, and to create emotional dramas.” (via don Miguel Ruiz)

But in truth, it is depleting and life-sucking, this running Inner Judge. It also distracts us from what we’re here to do: to create, freely and easily. To live in the joy of creating. To radiate and be love.

In my School of Upliftment right now we’re studying don Miguel Ruiz’s book The Four Agreements, a series of energizing, love-based principles that de-activate the played-out, fear-based beliefs that are seen as normal in our world. The Four Agreements help break these binds and access the freedom, growth and joy in which we were meant to live.

They are simple, but profound:

1. Be Impeccable With Your Word
2. Don’t Take Anything Personally
3. Never Make Assumptions
4. Always Do Your Best

But I’ve found that before you even begin practicing these four principles, you can experience a dose of relief from your Inner Judge.

You can find instant relief, for just a moment, by simply realizing that the Inner Judge is a thing. By noting and naming it, you witness the phenomenon. When you witness it, you almost inevitably pause it just for a moment. And in that moment, you may realize that it doesn’t have to be your reality. You don’t have to spend your whole life in judgment mode.

When you pause the judging for even a moment, you also experience a pause from the incredible turbulence judgment creates in your soul and spirit.

This is a moment of true enlightenment. You literally feel lighter when you realize you don’t have to live that way. That everything can actually just be okay. That you can be okay without conditions, and that you can access much more energy, clarity and power to create your own reality when you stop judging than you can when your Inner Judge is running a non-stop mental critique.

Radical acceptance of life opens up all this space inside. You can, slowly, stop judging everything all the time. It’s a practice you cultivate over a lifetime, but it is possible. And one of the first things that happens when you start this practice, is you slowly stop judging yourself.

Today’s newsletter came to me as I was driving down the street, hearing my Inner Judge and having an enlightenment moment of just not judging anymore, clear head space, for that moment. Immediately, I wrote this up and thought I’d better also include this poem which sits on my desk. I think you’ll find it relevant.

My beloved child

Break your heart no longer

Each time you judge yourself you break your own heart

You stop feeding on the love which is the wellspring of your vitality

The time has come, your time

To live, to celebrate and to see the goodness that you are…

Let no one, no thing, no idea or ideal obstruct you

If one comes, even in the name of “Truth” forgive it for its unknowing

Do not fight

Let go

And breathe – into the goodness that you are

~Bapuji

Upcoming Events. I have a pretty delectable calendar of transformational talks and experiences coming up this Fall… would love to see you there!

• 10 Day Writing Challenge for Conscious Leaders, Starts September 10th, online

In this FREE Challenge, I’ll guide you through ten days of practice giving your Inner Judge (and Editor, and Censor) some time off every day. You’ll de-chaos your nervous system, trigger flow and learn how to use writing as a practice for personal growth, leadership and spiritual awakening.

• Lead & Inspire, September 18th–20th, Las Vegas, NV

$150 off registration with the code: beamazing

Powerful women sharing their stories, lessons, and insights on leadership and entrepreneurship.

I’m the opening keynote… I’m teaching how to level up your leadership from the soul level.

• Women’s Leadership Online Summit, September 20th–28th, Free Online Event

Learn How Top Women CEOs, Community Leaders, and Researchers Are Leading Change—And How You Can, Too!

• Responsive Conference, September 24th–25th, Astoria, NY

Get 20% of with my personal discount code: soultour2018

Join me — and 250 other innovators — for a stunning series of experiences all about the future of work and human development.

I’m THRILLED to be delivering the closing keynote: How to Bring Your Soul to Work.

• Cusp Conference, October 24th–25th, Chicago, IL

25+ inspiring and thought-provoking presenters, myself included, all of whose life work is around designing a brilliant future world.

I’ll be representing Spiritual Entrepreneurship. No big deal. 🤣

• Wellspring by Wanderlust, October 26th–28th, Palm Springs, CA

Part Wanderlust Festival, part ideas foundry, Wellspring brings together wellness experts, professionals, and enthusiasts to answer a simple question: How do we make ourselves and the world well? Over 200 classes, lectures, workshops and panels on yoga, meditation, social change, conscious capitalism and more…

THIS SPEAKER ROSTER is off the charts, folks. Russell Brand. Glennon Doyle. Marianne Williamson. The rev. angel Kyodo williams. Get your whole life and business together, consciously.

I’ll be keynoting on How to Bring Your Whole Team Into the Flow State, then doing a fireside chat with my friend, Wanderlust CMO Laura Gross on The Transformational Consumer and signing books, afterward.

Head up + heart out,

TNN

Sign up for my Transformation Tuesday newsletter, here: http://www.taranicholle.com/transformation-tuesday