I wanted to tell you about a thing that happened to me last week. 

I got a whole year back. 

All right, what does that mean? I got a whole year back. 

So for context, I went to see my dad last weekend, not just the weekend that just happened the weekend before that, I had not seen him in three years, I would call the state of our relationship for last few years, partially estranged. 

And you know, those of you who are in my programs, kind of know, my background. My childhood was brilliant and awful, at the same time, literally all at the same time. And the older I get and the more spiritually mature you get, the more you can hold the space for both of those things being true. 

And as Londyn came into my life, my four year old, I had to really like work through some of the PTSD experience that was stirred up by having a young girl, brilliant, genius, baby, girl child. And I had to work through some of that with my parents. 

So I’d actually had to have some conversations with my father about like, Hey, yo, like, I’d like you to be part of this child’s life, if x y, z, ABC subparagraph 123. And these bullets could be met as conditions. All right, so we worked it out. 

And because I have this impending, relatively large move out of the country, I thought I, I’ve been on what I think of as my like, a closing open loops tour, kind of going around all the areas of my life and being like, where is there a thing that an unfinished business, a piece of a conversation that needs to be wrapped up and an open loop that needs closing? 

All right, so we went to see my dad, and actually the trip was wonderful. 

It was a very validating experience of what can happen if you’re just unafraid to like name, say what needs saying, and, you know, be a very mature spiritual adult, and also require that other people hold other people as powerful. 

Alright, so we go down to see my dad. And that’s all just context. We got to see my dad. 

And he said something in conversation to me, he’s like, baba, baba, bah, you’ll be 47 on your next birthday. And then did it done. I’m like, What do you mean, I’ll be 47 on my next birthday. Look, you don’t even know how old I am. I’m already 47. Like my dad, who’s kind of like a math genius. says, I assure you, you are 46 years old. I was there upon your birth. And I know math and telling you you’re 46. And now just know, I used to have a real problem with trying to be older than I was. My whole very early childhood. My parents tried to make me be older than I was. And I kind of just took that and ran with it. Like in my teenage years, my early 20s Even in my 30s I would always I think one of the ways I wrested control over the age narrative and our culture was to just always make myself be older than I was. 

So years ago, decades ago, actually, I had a therapist tell me just be the EGR just be the age you are don’t fast forward. Don’t round up. Just be the age you are. So I did. 

So when my dad’s like, you’ll be 47 next year. I’m like, Nah, fam. I’m 47 Now, finally, he’s like, so insistent, I actually get my phone out and I say, Google. I was born November 13 1975. How old am I? Like you’re 46 years old. And I’m like, fun. I just got a hole free in like a day, which was actually hilarious. 

So you know, I share it because it’s a funny story. And because we didn’t get to be deep all the damn time. 

But also because this is a little bit of one of the sort of side effects of what happens when you reject the cultural story. Have numerics the cultural story of Numerix is like all of the numbers. It is like a story of judgment that your numbers, the numbers that describe you, and how you being who you be, are bad or wrong or somehow inefficient or worthy of judgment or criticism. So it’s judgment about your income judgment. It’s not enough. It’s usually a scarcity story judgment. It’s a scarcity story or too much story, not enough or too much. 

Your age is too much your weight is too much your income is not enough. There’s not enough time, right? 

Years ago, I did the work of like rejecting the hell out of that shit helped by actually helped by a number of very sage wise women who were much older than me. You know, I’ve told the story before I’ll tell the story someday of how, when I was a teen, when I was 19, I took dictation as a 90 Something woman year old woman told me her life story. And I wrote it and we actually published it into a book was the first book I ever worked on. So seeing her and knowing that life is not short life is long, seeing her and my reaction to her as an as a 19 year old and yes, she was wrinkled and was and and wonderful. She was not of your style. 

They would say in Espanol, Mata Vyasa. And I knew that and I felt that, at 19 years old, those things kind of took some of the angst you’re agitated out of aging, especially, you know, and they were especially formative experiences to have when I was 19. 

Alright, so one thing is something that can happen, because sometimes I get these notes from these beautiful people. I teach in Simon Sinek’s school, I taught this course the other day or a program the other day in his school, and someone emailed me and was like, but if I buy into that one, I just fall out of touch with reality. And I was like, yes, exactly. Only if you do it, right. Because reality, or what others think of as reality, what others think of as time is arbitrary, as fuck. 

Okay. So what I do is, I’m aware that time is a construct, it’s just, there’s no such thing as time in science or in reality, there’s just this moment and this moment, and this moment and this moment, and we use time to measure the change in a state, the change in the atoms, the change in distance location, that we just use time as a way to talk about change between one moment and the next moment. 

So it’s really a handy construct, because then you and I can agree that we’re going to meet up at a certain place at a certain time. So time is a construct that serves us very well. But time is a construct that is a like many constructs, is a wonderful servant and a terrible master. So it becomes a terrible master when you let the story about time, especially when you let the be a good little cog toxic kind of capitalism story about time that says there’s not enough you’re too old, you better hurry up.

It’s one of the most common questions that people write into me with, I fear that I will run out of time in my life to do the things that I want to do. Right. And I’m like, great, that fear is really helpful. That urgency is really helpful. As long as it reminds you, you know that now’s the time to be in due and experience and learn what you came here for. And but it is insidious, when it becomes this time scarcity lie that runs you or the I’m getting too old lie that keeps you paralyzed. 

So you got to just remember that time is arbitrary as hell, what I tend to do because I have, I literally have flipped this backwards, you know, where many people have one day a week that they take off of meetings, I actually only do meetings one day a week so that I can have control over my own time and experience of life. So what I because I work in such a, you know, it’s on such a different time format than the average person. 

I basically have have to set tools up. I have to set tools up in around me to make sure that I stay in, you know, a little bit in the world. I have a four year old that helps. I got to pick her up and drop her off at certain points. That’s just real right? She has to eat And I’m big on like, beautifully lavish scattered, you know, helpful beneficial schedules and daily routines and daily rituals. So like that helps us keep looped into our day. 

My assistants know, if you if you’re proofreading an email from Tara, you definitely need to check the time, the dates because terrorists sense for when those are usually off, right so I use tools, my calendar, I use my calendar, my calendar is not a tyrant to me because I’ve taken so much control over it over the years. So I use it all actually in the all in the morning all in the evening, I use the calendar, you know, if it’s not on my calendar, it’s not happening, and use my calendar to stay looped. 

And I see someone on Instagram, saying that’s her gold flip the time, especially when she reaches retirement in three years. That’s right. And I just chose many years ago actually to begin gradually. 

So I’m going to encourage you to start beginning now to start beginning to begin to take reclaim your time now. And you can do it in little gradual, incremental ways. And you’ll have to and I’m going to tell you why. So like right now, decide what the things are in your life that give you life that plug your spiritual batteries in, and give yourself allocate on your calendar, 10 minutes or 15 minutes extra every single day starting now don’t wait to retirement for that. And the reason I say that is this. You know, in my in my teachings, I teach the metaphysics of like living a baller ass life like a self actualized rich life and every and I don’t mean I do mean rich financially. But I also mean, rich, meaning wise, right? A delicious look the plate life where you feel like you are fulfilling yourself spiritually. All right. 

One of the enemies of that level of fulfillment is when you are motivated to do things. And most of us are most people that I meet are actually motivated to do most of what the most of the things that they do, by an adrenalized sense of dread by that feeling of time scarcity by that feeling that time is running out by that feeling of you know, external validation or external validation will be withheld by that feeling of I have to do this for money, I have to do this to get the raise, I have to do this for title, I have to do this for status, like, you know, for whatever it is, it’s an internalized sense of dread. 

And it’s really, really common, when people begin to reclaim their time. It’s very common to have this season where you feel a little like untethered in a very uncomfortable way, and in a way that is very beneficial. It’s just uncomfortable, and beneficial. Okay. So like people will often feel very like, oh my gosh, without the adrenaline, what will motivate me without the adrenaline? How will I decide what to do with my days? And with my time? What will I do without that I adrenalized sense of dread or external validation? That is the thing that has been helping me figure out how to spend my days for my whole life? Possibly. All right. I know when I first started to reclaim my sense of time, I actually felt like am I still alive?

Without the adrenaline am I still alive? You know, you feel a little flat because adrenaline has been your juice for so long. Trying to prove trying to feel worthy, trying to be worthy, trying to get it all done really fast to get to some like check some freaking box off. You just feel like you’re not necessarily alive. And so it takes there’s like a bit of this process. The Life and self mastery process involves, yes, your decision that you want to reclaim your own life and time. 

Yes, the intention that you’re going to take that back and flip things around and mold the clay of your time and your calendar, according to what you care about. But also the knowing that in that learning curve process there is there’s gonna be a little valley where you’re like, am I even alive anymore? What do I do? How do I what am I going to be about? And some people are very tempted in that valley to start doing other adrenalized shit. 

So I see this a lot where it’s like people will come off of a you know, a career, a lifelong career and it’s like they immediately are like, I don’t feel like I’m doing anything so I gotta like, fill my calendar again with like church obligations or did it or I gotta go here, I gotta get another job or I got to do to get a job. So that’s why I say if you think that you’re going to like, in three years from now have much more control of your time, I’m going to encourage you to start taking that time back and little bits and pieces, and bits and pieces right now. Learn how to feel very alive, even when you’re being very still. Even when you’re letting things happen very gradually. Right? 

Learn what things are really in control, you are really you are already really in way more control of your time than you think you are. And it took me It probably took me like seven or 10 years. No joke, too big to figure out how truly in control of my time I was, right? Because it’s one thing when you shift from like, they’re telling a story that says what I have to do with my time. And then when you come out of that there’s still a you’re telling the story about what you can do with your time. Yes, I say, That’s right. And you Yes, it helps to start the process way many years before you actually will have the total freedom of time of like not having, you know, a day job. All right. 

Now, I want to also paint the picture of the opposite of what happens when you do totally reclaim your time. Yes, you forget how old you are. But also you have you know, I feel like an alien sometimes because I’ll be out here being like, Yo, I’m for sure aging in reverse. When everybody else is like r&b. Like I’m getting older. And I’m like, Oh guys, I know. And you know what, there are seasons where that’s actually helpful where your body is saying, yo, I need you to like pay attention, I need more nourishment, I need more movement, I need more stretching, I need more strength, I need more. That’s real. 

So there are times in your life, we will feel that way as you age. And like it’s your body asking you to give it something that you need. But then there’s another thing to just be like I’m whatever 4550 66 Even 7am Like wrap my mind around. I got to pack it in. Right. So yeah, you may feel a little bit like an alien things that will happen when you recalibrate your sense of time, you will forget how old your your parents will have to remind you, that’s what just happened to me, you will start to feel a little bit like an alien when you’re around people who think that the number on your year of birth means you’ve got to pack it in. Okay.

I literally just told you about a woman I met when I was 19, who was in her 90s Who was like, You know what, I need to do this here, I need to write a book. I’m saying she was like, listen, and that woman had outlived her children. She had outlived three husbands, and she was like, You know what I need to do, I need to write that book. And I think she was like 94 Five, when she first when I first started working with her. And she did write it and she did get it. And she did speak about I mean like she was like and she was not like in the best of health she just was like living my life. 

So you will learn you will feel a little like an alien and you will also call in attract and magnetize in other other people who are willing to rendezvous with you in a realm where age is nothing but a number. 

All right, you will learn how to flow time we talk a lot in the School of spiritual strategy programs especially in life and self mastery about how about there’s like Einstein Time and Newton time that Einstein Time Is that thing he said where you know, what is it like a minute with your a minute a minute with with a person you love a minute with your lover feels like a second and a second with your hand on the stove feels like an hour. Right? So that was his way of saying, you know, time is very relative and you actually have a lot of control over how much time you have and how much time you experience yourself as having in this life based entirely on what you choose to do with your time. 

If you aren’t doing the things that you love, oh, it can feel like time you know, like you lose yourself in time in a wonderful way. And if you spend the time of your life doing shit you hate. It will feel like a drudge. You know what I mean? It will feel like, like awful. So you’ll learn how to flow you can learn how to flow time you can learn how to allocate your time more and more and more and more incrementally to things that give you life. 

You can invest your time spend more and more of your time and things that expand your energy expand your joy expand your lifeforce people who know me my clients know I get up in the day I get the baby to school, I get myself to the club and I actually spend usually An hour, hour and a half at the beginning of my work day after take babies at daycare at the beginning of my work day, in whatever other people would call it self care in working out in the Steam Room in the hot tub, getting into state getting into mode. And you know what the time all works out, right? Because when I come out of that, I’m like butter. It’s like brilliant work that needs no editing just flows, because I’ve tended to my state, right. And you’ll learn how to wait on interest in divine order and timing. 

You’ll learn how not to make moves, unless it feels really, really, really, really, really like the exact right time to make a move. You’ll learn how to move in an accelerated way sometimes, and often the acceleration that is available to you by trusting in divine order. And timing is literally in the waiting in the not making the move unless it feels exactly in alignment exactly in harmony. Right. In savoring the delay knowing that even your delays benefit you as who should silver says, Even you’re in divine timing, even your delays benefit you. All right. 

So learning to create time by trusting in and waiting on divine order. And timing is all about becoming it’s like about cultivating an okayness within yourself with the reality of the plot twist. Right? There are things that you don’t you’re like, Oh man, I don’t want to make that change. I don’t want to I already said I was gonna do it this way, or thought I was going to do it this way. I don’t want to make that change, because it’ll slow me down or because somebody else will judge it or somebody else will think, you know, I’m wishy washy or whatever. And oftentimes, those exact plot twists are the things that will accelerate you sometimes by sidestepping you around a couple years. 

In a marriage, you don’t need to go through a couple years and a town you don’t actually need to live in. Right. But you know, people get so concerned about how other people will judge their commitment about how other people will judge their decisions that they carry through on these like till death do us part decisions that they know before they even enter into them ain’t really all the way in alignment. Right? So I’ve learned that sometimes if you get cold feet, sometimes when you get cold feet, right before you make a move, that’s a big move. And there’s something else out here that needs to be explored. 

Go to the exploration, don’t who gives a shit what they say? First of all, they think about you No way, I’m gonna tell you like I tell London. If they like you, you’re magical. If they don’t like you, you still only match. 

Okay, so like, if they approve of your decision or rate you’ll be magical if they don’t approve of your decisions, if they don’t approve of the exploration that you need to have to feel really solidly aligned to allow divine order and timing to line up and light up for you. If they don’t approve of it. If other people look at it and want to look at it a kind of way you still gonna be magical okay so know that the process of creating your beautiful best life the life that you came here to live the rich life is a process of becoming more and more okay with the plot twist because hey everything but the plot twist life is a lie. 

Anyway, all these the idea that you can have this 25 year action plan for your life and it all play out exactly to plan is like yo, if that happens, you probably your plan was too small. 

First off, first and foremost, because the plot twists that are driven by your wise inner being are almost always trying to expand you and to expand your imagination and expand your dream. Right so it’s not always about hitting a numeric goals. 

Sometimes it’s about hitting a new American goal plus joy and unparalleled joy, unparalleled alignment, unparalleled well being unparalleled in our peace unparalleled. You know join your fam thriving in your family. 

So like yeah, you know the plot twists will take you far if you follow the plot twist of your wise inner being. But also this process is the rhythm of creating in accordance with divine order and timing is often about this alternating. My teacher Dave Rico talks about it as an alternating series of surrenders in choice. Surrender to your own big self. Surrendering to your own greatness, surrendering to your own inner nudges and wise inner beings. You know, like no, not time yet. Not quite right that something’s not quite right about that. Sometimes something’s not right about it right now and it will be right about it later. But you don’t have to explain all of that. You don’t have to convince anybody you don’t have to justify all of that. You just learn to surrender to the inner guidance and like, would let it take you where it takes you. Right? 

Learn to surrender to ease learn to surrender to your yes signals. I saw my friend Christine Barrett call the his her green lights. I always think of them as like, yes, signals I follow the yes and no, she’s like, I follow the green lights. Yes, surrender to following the green lights, which also means slowing at the yellow lights and stopping red lines, right? 

Surrender to your big self surrender to making big moves, sometimes accelerated moves, where you bypass a whole freakin construction project because your inner guidance was trying to get you around it the whole time. Right? And then surrendering to sometimes it needs to be, you know, slow, and gradual. 

So as my dad was like, Yo, you’re not 47 Hello. I have this moment of real appreciation this, I’ll close with this. And this moment of deep appreciation for the spirals of personal growth and development I’ve had in these almost like five year one year and five year and 10 year healing cycles in my life. I reflected on how at age 35, I was truly in a dark night of the soul 35 from me. Hmm, hope I get my math right. Around 35 for me was the great recession. Which found me with this, like, you know, I had one of those, I had one of those lives that everybody liked to look at. 

And that felt like a cars that parked on my chest inside. I had one of those lives where I was working all day and all night literally pulling every freaking lever in the universe because I thought the universe was mine to spin. I thought I was the direct tricks of it.

And I thought by my own mighty effort, I could keep unwanted shit from happening to me. And then like a recession happened. I was in real estate, I lost everything. I got divorced. My kids were split up by this custody, not bizarreness. And I truly found myself in what they call a dark night of the soul, like on my knees being like, Hey, God, I need you to show up, literally, Jesus fix it because I don’t, I can’t, I can’t do any more than I’m already doing. And I did all the things, and it’s still not working. Right. 

And that was when I sort of began the process of like reading and studying and praying and meditating and understanding wisdom from all of the traditions, not just the one I had grown up in, and like discovering the divine truth that you can see when you’re looking across all of the human, you know, ancient sacred texts and traditions. And when you’re willing to meet that with a great trust in the knowings and revelations, that feeling of resonance in your own soul. 

This was when I stopped looking to other people to tell me what was the right thing to believe. And when I started to like, hear in my own cells in my own body what was right and what was true and followed that. 

So by 3535 was hanging dark night of the soul at 40 my 40th birthday, some of y’all know, things had changed. I celebrated my 40th birthday party by going to nine places in the world I’d never been before. Over 18 months. It was remarkable in that I had gone from like losing my business losing my home to like, you know, taking a number of jobs in tech, taking my job at my fitness pal, which was one of the best decisions I’ve literally ever made in my life. We had been acquired by Under Armour. It had been very lucrative for me, I was traveling the world it was awesome. I was catching boyfriends in different countries it was wonderful. 

By 45 I was really in I had I had come, I had done I had come into I had started soul tour, I was clear that my calling was not to be a marketer in the shadows kind of just trying to like Head fake people into the deep inner work they needed to do it was to actually do this work as my work as my own. Life. And so as I came into a bold knowing of what my colleagues were, you know, the complex that we would call in young in psychology, we would call the death mother complex, really had emerged, that my shadow material, the deep dark shit had really emerged. And this time I knew what to do with it. I was like, bet. Let’s go, let’s go. 

So I was doing battle with the death mother complex, and I was going to win, I knew I would win. But it was dark. There had been all these things happen in my family, there had been all these medical problems, all these things happening within me, and I was like, here for it and hyper present to it. 

And I knew I would win, but I was in it. And then by like, 46, I think of it, I’m gonna talk to you guys about this later this week. You know, I have the death mother complex, I’ll share all about what that means. I have this incredible experience of post traumatic healing that I had been working on for 25 years, but also then accelerated in some ways, including with psychedelics. So I’ll tell you all about that. 

And then by 46, I was seeing in my spirit and my wiring the triumph of what we’ll call the Great Mother archetype. Right, I was seeing this like, emergence of a new me my big self was coming forth, new vision was coming forth, I had reclaimed my ability to dream in vivid, vivid, vivid color, I was having all of my all of my powers were starting to come online in a way that felt like new powers, but also were like, maybe the powers I came here with when I was a tiny, tiny baby. Right. 

So it was like that began this process of thinking about new countries, new empires, knowing that all the trauma, all the shadow, all the trials and travails all the events of the rest of the other 46 years of my life, were really just seeds you know, and I was like, emerging into the red wood of a of a human that I am and if you’re watching this, you’re watching it because you are too you literally are a spiritual redwood and all of the trauma all of the trials, all of the disappointments, all of the history, all of the things you tried and failed, they were all your seeds. Your that was all just part of the process of becoming. 

Alright, so just remember, time is nothing but a construct it’s cool if you forget how old you are who gives a rip. But you do get to choose to make meaning you choose to like throw burn down the culture story about time we just like you’re running into and there’s never enough time you don’t get enough sleep you’re getting too old. Burn that shit down. Throw it away, literally. Like it’s not it’s a lie as the reason it feels bad to you is because your why is inner being which is the same as the voice of God source spirit. All that is speaks to you within you is like, nope, nope, nope, nope, nope. And that voice is never going to agree with the nonsense story about time or aging or any of the other income or whatever else. It’s never going to agree with that. 

So it’s always going to feel bad when you start to agree with that. So you may as well just get on the side of source spirit and all that is, which says you are eternal, you are limitless, like you only actually even can get better as you age, you’re literally your wisdom can accelerate and grow. 

As you age, your body, your cells can age in reverse. It’s a thing, right? And know that you do get to choose to use time as a servant, not a master, you can choose to make meaning of milestones. You can use your own milestones as memorials, to who you’ve been and who you are becoming, you can you can say no to the things that deplete you and create your own time. 

That way you can give thanks to your former self. 

I do that shit all the time where I’m like, dang, every time like I was going to take a trip to Mexico next week. I just played made an audible and was like, You know what, I’m gonna go to Lisbon Portugal cuz I want to, and I can and every time I do that, I think I give thanks to the earlier versions of myself. 

That gifted me with the freedom and the resources to make choices like that. Right I give things every day you wake up Give thanks to the earlier version of yourself that fed yourself watered yourself, clothe yourself to get you to where you are right now. Give thanks for the clarity, the power and the wisdom you can get out of your right now current circumstances and then like give thanks for the miracles They will follow miracles in the wonders that will never see this day. 

And then go out there and look for him. Wait for him watch for him because you’re trying to get to you. They’re trying to get to you. 

All right. So I’ll give thanks on your behalf for those things too. I love you. Thank you for joining me this Transformation Tuesday. 

If you are new, do me a favor and like this video, share this video, share this channel. If you’re on YouTube, subscribe and hit the bell notification. Go to soultour.com and go to soultour.com/subscribe if you want us to send these to your inbox on Tuesdays and also send you a weekly version of my daily ritual practice on Saturdays along with some other stuff I want you to read that week. I love you. We’ve got so much more that we’re cooking up behind the scenes and I’ll share all of it as it unfolds in divine order and timing. All right, all is well with you.

Head up + heart out,

Tara-Nicholle Kirke, MA, Esq.
The Metaphysician
Founder + CEO of SoulTour

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I want to talk to you today about something I’m calling the Envy Epiphany. 

So this is all about why you envy who you envy and what to do with that envy.

You know, I don’t really do random. So if I’m bringing you guys a lesson, it’s because there’s something happening in my life, in this moment, or in the universe, the world, this moment that’s causing this issue to come up. 

So we’re here to talk about envy today, because I keep having these conversations where people are saying, “Wow, dang, right, I’m jealous.”

So I had one conversation in a group where they had something they wanted to celebrate, and they didn’t know what to do to celebrate it. And I said, “Well, hey, for my 40th birthday, I went to nine places in the world that I had never been before over 18 months spent, you know, a month or two in some of these places, caught a boyfriend or two some of these faces.”

And they were like, “Whoa, I want to do that. I’m jealous.”

I had another conversation super recently, where I was sharing about my approach to solving my childcare problem that I had in the pandemic. 

Then I was sharing with some other moms about how when I had the same childcare problem that everyone else in the world had during the pandemic. I ultimately chose to resolve my childcare problem by joining a country club, because the country club had a kids club in it that didn’t close when all the schools closed, and had a pool where I could get lessons for my kid to swim at a critical moment in her swim, you know, education process. 

And I had the resources to do it. And so I did it. And it continues to be an incredible resource to my family.

And then people were like “Daring, I want to do that.”

So I was having a conversation, you know, at the baby school the other day with another mom who’s in a similar business to mine, but I think is charging way too little, and has not quite leveraged her full unique genius quite yet. 

So you know, we were talking and I’m like, “Yeah, we’re moving to Mexico City and like, I’m enrolled in this intensive Spanish class” and it was like everything I said she was like, “But I want to move to Mexico, but I wanted to learn Spanish.” I was like, “and I’ve got this like incredible nanny here who is I set the intention that I would get Beeson Mary Poppins and I got her. “

I have these two businesses that are amazing and everything is always working out for me and I have traumas in my life too. 

I have dramas in my life too. You know, I’ve had this very intense medical experience in the last year. But I also have the skills for them. I have the skills to be able to deal with them. And I mean, when I talk to you about a comeback, y’all physically come back on 1002. Right? I have beautiful help everywhere I go. And you know, it wasn’t always like this, this has been a journey of my lifetime. 

I was a 16-year-old mom in Bakersfield, California Baroque, let’s see 25 something years 20 Something like that, 20 something years ago. And so, I’ve had people say to me recently, “You’re so incredibly free, the things you’re doing are the things I want to do. “

And so in that context of having had a bunch of conversations like that recently, I was reading something from an author who I know and admire, and she said something like this.

She said, “Here’s what it means when you envy someone, when you envy someone, it’s actually a super helpful emotion.”

She said, “it tells you that somebody else has something that you wish you had yourself.”

Alright, so I was like, Is there really one sound and I, I mean, that is for sure the dictionary definition of envy when somebody else has something that you wish you had yourself, often that results in the emotion that we generally label envy.

But you know, what, my framework is all about recalibrating, actualizing and aligning. And I was like, “there is a way better, more meaningful and more useful way to interpret and understand envy.” So that’s the Epiphany, I want to give you guys today, I want to help you recalibrate. 

I want to help you recalibrate your understanding of envy, so that you can know what to do, you can know how to interpret it, when that emotion arises within you, okay? All right.

Envy does not mean that somebody else has something that you wish you had yourself. Envy means that somebody else has something that you already have within you that you have not that is ready to and wants to be released, wants to be activated, wants to be actualized, and has not yet been for whatever reason, your traumas, your disappointment, your trans as a fear, your trans of scarcity, you’re just not there yet in your life. You haven’t given yourself permission to do it yet. 

But when you envy something, it is a super helpful emotion.

What it means is that that person who you envy has something within them, there is something that you see within them, that you already have within you. And it’s ready to be released, it’s ready to be activated, it’s ready to be actualized. It just hasn’t been yet. Yet and it wants to be now. Okay, or wants you to begin that process now.

So because what I do is practice and teach and practice apply the metaphysics of self actualization. There’s a lot to understand and metaphysics about what this universe is, who you are in it, what your role is in it, the creations that you came here to create the sacred contracts that you came here to fulfill the things you came here to be and do and learn and have an experience. 

All right, and understanding the metaphysics of self actualizing your true sacred self requires understanding your own patterns, your own energies, and many of those patterns and energies are interpersonal, right. 

So as I teach it in our school of spiritual strategy, you will have these interpersonal energies All right? They are you have magnets that draw you repeatedly to other people who have certain patterns and energies within them until for the express purpose of fulfilling a contract you have to learn be do have create experience something and as soon as you do that learning those magnets, those polls on that magnet reverse, and you will no longer have those attractions to those kinds of people. 

You have moats, many of us in our attachment styles in our neurobiology and trauma, have motes energies that we actually signals that we send out and broadcast out unconsciously that keep help away. that keep the right kinds of people away. But keep resources and assistance away, right until we can see our modes and begin to dissolve them. And we also have mirrors, there are, there are magnets, there are modes, there are mirrors, there are people in your lot in this universe, who you specifically will come into relationship with, whether you know them personally or not, right sometimes is sometimes the Envy sparks because you’re like watching a documentary and you’re like, dang, I wish I could live that life. Right? 

Envy is one of our mirrors. Envy is one of our mirrors. And envy is the mirror pattern where you are being brought into contact with this other person. And when you feel that envy what is happening is your wise inner being sees something in them, that is that you have within you that is a unique sacred gift in you that wants to be unlocked unleash released, and that that’s the spark right now your why isn’t our being that and knows that and sparks that emotion and wants the gap between how you be and who you are and who you’re being now, and your potential true sacred big self, your wise inner being sees that that quality or trait in that other person and sparks and wants that spark once the gap between how you be and who you be now, and the end, who your potential Big, True Sacred Self is, wants that gap to create energy and direction for your life, for your progress for your purpose.

Now, if you will have a harsh hindering active inner critic, your inner critic also sees that gap also sees that part of you that trait of you in this other person, but your inner critic disagrees that you are that disagrees that you have that unique sacred potential and pulls you in the other direction of judging the emotion that you have as bad or wrong.

So envy is what we call it when it feels bad because we are in more you’re closer to agreeing with our inner critic with the voice of fear with our inner saboteur with our shadows. Envy is what we call it when we experience that like oh, a ha moment of hey, like I see this thing in you and it sparks this emotion in me.

We call it envy and judge it as unwanted and uncomfortable when we still are in agreement with our inner critic and our shadows and our inner saboteur. Right. But when you I like to think of a lot of these conversations that we’re having as conversations about a tug of this slight cosmic a tug of war between your wise inner being and your inner critic, which I’ll just use is like the persona if occation personification of fear, scarcity, unworthiness, all right, all of these trauma. So let’s just call all of that the persona, the voice of that is your inner critic.

All right, so we have this cosmic collectively and individually, okay, there’s not just a you didn’t make this inner conflict up. There is a cosmic battle. If you ever go to church with some old black church ladies. Trust me, you’re gonna you will hear them talk about that there is a battle on in this universe. And it ain’t between flesh and blood. It is a battle of principalities.

This is what they mean when they say that and they’re right, because, you know, black church, old black church, ladies are often right, just as a shorthand for there’s a battle of principalities. And they’re in the Battle of principalities that we’re talking about is it’s not you know, good and evil in the old oversimplified kind of way.

But the truth is that you have within you this wise inner being and you also have within you this voice of fear, I hear I see someone Miss cranes on Instagram saying, I’m in a constant tug of war, you are not alone, my love. You are not alone, my love, you are not alone, my love.

So we feel this constant for many of us in our conflict and win in a lot of these conversations that we’re having right now, that we have about spiritual strategy.

Spiritual strategy is, let me let me get intentional about how I say this. When you get skillful. The journey of becoming skillful with spiritual strategy is the journey of building the default mode, where when you have this inner conflict between your wise inner Being in your inner critic, you regularly drop the rope in that tug of war, and you drop the rope regularly in the direction of letting your wise inner being letting your capital B, capital S big self, when you let your big self when. And I mean this in the littlest ways, and in the biggest ways, I think about that all day throughout my day. So if you’ve ever had that experience of like trying to negotiate with yourself about why you don’t need to work out today, that’s that same tug of war. Right.

And when you get skillful with spiritual strategy is when you build the practice of regularly, you can actually get to a place where the negotiation isn’t even there that much, or that active or that loud anymore. Where you’re constantly letting your big self just win. And getting into alignment with whatever that be.

And I’ll tell you, it sounds scary, because your big self wants you to do these things that are way outside your comfort zone, which is true because your big self wants your expansion, your big self will bring you into inevitably, if you let your big self when that tug of rope tug of war. Your big self will bring you into more expansion. bigger dreams, bigger life. And for some folks that big life is big achievements.

For some folks that big life is nothing more than the breaking of generational curses that allows you to dwell in inner peace allows you to have a peaceful family or household. What you know big is relative. Big is relative.

All right, so when you’re when you have that envy feeling, meaning you’ve got this tug of war going on within you, you see somebody else that has something that appeals to you, and sparks that emotion within you, you’re wise and are being big self is like, Yo, that’s you, you see that? You have that in you too. You see that adventure she’s going on? Don’t you love that?

That’s because you are an adventurer, too. You are an explorer too. You see that business she has you feel that envy, or you feel that spark of energy? That’s because you that the entrepreneur in you, it’s like when we say Namaste, right? The divinity in me, the divinity in me salutes the divinity in you. It’s kind of like the opposite.

That’s like that spark of energy is like, whoa, do you see that in them, you will have that in you. And so when you we call it envy, if you’re still in agreement with in an end being hindered by your harsh inner critic, and we call it honestly we call it inspiration, admiration. When you drop the rope in that tug of war, and you’re letting your big self win, and you let yourself see that the reason you feel that spark of energy that you feel is that that person has something that you have to.

And I see it all the time and my students, those who are like, Yo, wait a second, I admire this, I see that energy, I see that people will say like, I want to be in your expansive energy. That’s because those are people who have kind of won, they’re letting go. They’re letting their big self win. And they’re seeing something in me that they admire.

But they also are starting to believe that the reason they admire it is not because they’re envious in a way that shouldn’t be judged or shamed. But but because there’s some something within them what that the thing that I have or that I am or in doing that they desire to do that that energy is within them too. And they desire to be expanded. Right? So they get in the energy of that expansion. So you know, I like to think that what the specifics hit, let’s talk about what to do when you feel envy.

I think actually, anytime you feel any unwanted emotion anytime you have any unwanted experience, you should be asking yourself the question, what wonderful thing is Trump could be trying to come to me through this, okay?

And I don’t mean that in like a super spiritual bypassing way. I mean, literally, when people die, you can ask yourself this question in a very deeply meaning making kind of way so that no experience is lost on you and so that you like get maximum juice from the frickin squeeze of life. If you’ve got to go if you’ve got to go through stuff and we do because life involves things that do spark suffering, why not try to get meaning out of them?

So when I say ask yourself What wonderful thing could be trying to come to you through this? I don’t mean like, just the the, you know, idea like, oh yeah, I might go to the burrito shop and meet the love of my life. I mean, maybe there’s some like Game Changing disruption to your personal mythology that’s trying to happen, that wants to happen.

There’s some part of your expansion that is trying to happen that could be furthered by your envy, so called envy of this other person. So one way to begin to work with and use your envy is to, you know, kind of get still and quiet with yourself have an introspective practice, this is why in all of our programs, we ask people to do a daily a specific prescribed daily ritual that I send them six days a week where I’m like, do this, right.

Because you do have to build some level of infrastructure for your inner life so that you can have these reflections and get this meaning instead of just constantly reacting to the world and, and going to sleep and then waking up and reacting to the world and going this is like, so tune in to what it is about that person that you envy, right? Because what the specifics of what it is about that person that you envy or the beginning of revelation for you, it begins to reveal to you what it is within you that wants to be unleashed. O

kay, so when someone says to me, “gosh, I am so jealous of your freedom.” What I know is that the self Liberator in them is sparking at seeing the self liberation that I’ve experienced.

So I in my mind, I’m sending them blessing raise for their own liberation that second, so Miss cranes and Instagram says like authenticity, right? If you see somebody else being fully authentic, and you’re like, damn, I would love to be able to express myself or show up in the world like that. That means you’re on your way I declare that for you is cranes on Instagram.

Like, that means you are on your way, the authenticity in you the full, like bring 100% of yourself to the world edition is in you is ready to be cultivated and unleashed.

And don’t rush it just like let it things take the time they take. Sometimes it’s like you see somebody else do be that way. And it’s like instant permission and you just start being that way. Sometimes it’s the beginning of putting you on a path or a process or a journey. Either way is great. Let it take the time it takes all right.

So I’m going to just drop you a few like concepts that I see people reacting to in me that and I think it’s because they have it in them. They see my self healing journey physically and from trauma and from you know, trauma and drama.

Truly, I’m not even being like facetious at all. So I’m like yeah, then the self healer in you is ready to be released. The explorer and adventurer in you wants to be released. This soulful and aligned and profitable and impactful and influential and transformational. Wealthy creator entrepreneur in you wants to be unleashed.

The big dreamer in you sees my big dreams. And it’s like, Damn, I’ve had so many people say I want to dream like you dream. That’s because the dreamer is already active in you. And it’s like chomping at the bit it’s about to come out. Right the big expansive true sacred self in you sees mine and wants to come out.

Right wants to there’s a part of you that wants to give you sees me do it and wants to give yourself permission to pivot. Permission to reinvent yourself. Permission to plot twist. Permission to lick the freakin plate in life to use the phrase of my friend Victoria castle. Permission to make a frickin move, make a move, make a decision, set a date, make a frickin move, and let the chips fall where they may. And that’s a word for somebody.

Yes, I’m intentional. I do these spirals of transformation. I do all this healing. I do believe that. And then sometimes you set a freaking date and you make a freaking move and you let the chips fall where they may.

Because you trust that everything is always working out for you. And if you know this, like Kanye said 100 years ago, the pessimist just don’t talk to him. Literally just don’t talk to him. So somebody sees that i That’s my sometimes there’s some people in your life you cannot talk to there’s some people in your life you cannot share your dream with. You don’t have to ask for permission.

You have to give yourself permission. You have to learn your own wiring. You have to do your own healing. You have to let things take the time they take. All right. And the last the tool that I want to share with you beyond all of those things, the mantra of what what what are the inquiry Let me say the inquiry promptly at what wonderful thing you know what fuel and direction can I get out of this unwanted emotion?

What you know what what is it within that person that I’m envious of that I see that this sparking something in me because I have it in me already. The last tool I want to offer you is the tool of collective effervescence and it is a spiritual strategy. I was at dinner the other night. I had a sitter the other night and had this like beautiful series of yes signals that was happening on my Mexico City move.

Literally were in a day’s time. I found an apartment realize the owner of the apartment lives 15 minutes from my house in Oakland, invited her to meet me at my club. She came out and met me and we brokered a deal in like a day. All right, so I’d had this wonderful day and I just happen to have a sitter in place for that night I had my friend Keisha, who’s also coaches and is a coach on her own and she coaches, employees to entrepreneurs. And she coaches sometimes at soul tour. T I was like Keisha can have dinner with me. She’s like, great. And she could and it just like all lined up. So we sat there and like one of my favorite tables at my club getting beautiful service, beautiful food.

There was this other table of like older black women across US, they were having this beautiful party and their energy was amazing. And they kept they were saying they came by our table with like, you guys are beautiful. Because Keisha and I have that collective effervescence. That is the opposite of when you see something others that you see someone you’re envious of them, there’s something they have that you want, and you don’t believe you can have it and that creates that that ah, envy.

The flip side is what Keisha and I have, and I call it collective effervescence. I have it with Keisha, I have it with a bunch of my students and members, I have it with some of my coaches and mentors and therapists, we have it and created intentionally in our own mastermind and in our own school collective effervescence, which is just this like mutual contact high of expansion energy, right.

And so what I want you guys to do is to start getting intentional about surrounding yourself, get finding other people who have those traits that you want, or are in that mode of expanding in the way that you want to expand and who are doing things.

They don’t have to be doing all the biggest things ever, but they do have to be, you know, people have power and people have purpose and people are people have progress. And I want you to start gradually letting that envy transmute into energy and fuel and direction and admiration, right?

I want you to start calling these people in, you’ve heard like, you know, in various spiritual traditions, there’s this idea that were two or more are gathered in the name of source spirit, all that is God, like, Holy Spirit descends and like fills up the place and things are different. The atmosphere shifts, what’s possible shifts, right? I want so you can create that collective effervescence, that extra kind of energy and extra intelligence.

By getting yourself in the room and sure on Zoom, but also in the real life room. That’s why in our new as I relaunch our programs, we’re actually building in real life experiences into many of the programs because we need to be in the room with each other.

All right, and so you can kind of look up the idea of a mastermind, Napoleon Hill was the one who kind of originally documented and use that phrase mastermind in a mastermind was really not meant to be like a coached curriculum, it’s meant to he actually talked about it as like, kind of like connecting a bunch of batteries to a single wire, where you’re increasing the amount of power that can pass through the wire, but because each battery adds this extra capacity, so the idea was that more minds, you know, through spiritual law, stimulate and expand the capacity of power for all the other minds in the group.

And so he talked about masterminds is like get in the room with other people create these friendly alliances with one or more other people, where the whole sort of mission of the congregation of the gathering is to encourage each other to follow through on your expansion. 

And I want to just say like if you do if you do and you can do this with friends, you can do this by getting in the room with them. mentor, a coach, a therapist who actually can help you problem solve or can witness and help you heal. Or you can do this by joining a formal mastermind group. If you’re interested in our groups, they’re not open yet, but they will be soon. Just DM me on whatever platform you’re in the word epiphany. 

And we’ll make sure you’re on the list. To get be one of the first to know when we open our groups back up. Yeah, as you create masterminds, I will say this, be careful, because take be cautious cuidado cuidado. Okay, be intentional. Be intentional about their energies. If someone’s energy, don’t just don’t feel right in your soul, that’s a good enough reason not to mastermind with them. 

Okay, be careful of the Coqui Dido, when it comes to their paradigms, it is very, I’m going to do a whole life just on picking certain Be careful whose paradigms you pick up. Be careful whose paradigms you pick up. So you know, you need to be around other people who speak life, who believe in expansive possibilities, who feel like expansion energy when you’re around them.

And you need to be intentional about making sure there is great harmony and alignment in the group, take care with those relationships, invest in them, be there for them, pour into them, you need to be around people who will ask who are aligned with you on values. All right, like, you need to be around with people who can push back on you and be like, but girl, is that really true? Like when you say that you have a limitation, it can be like the homie, for real. I don’t think so, you know what I mean, in a constructive way. 

You need to be around people who have other resources, or thoughts or insight or influence that they’re willing to bring to bear for your purpose and your programs. And you also need to make sure you’re around people, and this is a big one, as people are joining paid groups, you need to be around people who have similar values.

Okay, so I’ve been in some groups that were very oriented toward entrepreneurship. And it’s kind of like, if, you know, all they’re oriented around is money, and conversion. And I’m like, That’s a great, that’s like a piece of it. But that’s not the only reason I do the business than I do. Like I do this business, because it’s my soul. It’s my sacred, it’s one of my sacred contracts. 

Actually, it’s millions of My sacred contracts. It furthers me and furthers my people, there’s furthers my family, I had a very large financial target for the business vision that I just recently rolled out to our vendors and our teams. And someone pushed back and was like, I just don’t, I think this is smaller, I think this is too small for you, you can do more. And I’m like, Yeah, I could do more. But I also work 25 hours a week, and I also have a four year old I want to be around.

And I also don’t believe in just money for the sake of money. That’s literally what we call metastatic toxic capitalism. And I also like, Yo, we don’t just set goals for the sake of it, there’s a reason and a y and a soul and an alignment to them. 

You know, so make sure you’re if you’re going to mastermind with people, which you should make sure they are people who have similar priorities, purpose, Value Set vision as you. And at the same time, make sure they’re not all just like you some of the most powerful transformational coaches, consultants, vendors, I’ve had in my business.

I mean, one of the most powerful is this guy named sky Brian, who’s like from the south and, and kind of like an atheist. And I met him and he was like, Yo, I don’t even know what you do. But I’m pretty sure your business is going to be one of the biggest businesses I’ve ever worked on just because I’ve met you, but I don’t even understand what you do. And so, and he was like, So break it down.

So what are those words mean? What are those words mean? And there was this incredible power we got out of me and all of my creative flow, divine feminine, him and all of his very focused like masculine energy. And the rigor that he required. He used to draw out from me some of the essence of what I was doing in the business and the essence of the value that we created. Right? So make sure that you have people with whom you are aligned on and in harmony with around like values and vision, but who are not all just like you.

And the thing that I love and Napoleon Hill says, about mastermind, and the idea was truly like that. When you join up with other people, there is another mind that is created. It is the mastermind that is greater than all than any of you individually. All right, there’s an energy, I just happen to actually be one of those people who believes there is one infinite intelligence that is in everything in this universe. And we activate it when we come into connection with and agreement with. But you need you need someone to stand in agreement with you on your dreams, your visions, your goals, your intentions. All right, you can do big things on your own. 

So I love this, there’s a quote Napoleon Hill has about how the mastermind principle is the principle through what you can accomplish in one year in the mastermind more than you could accomplish without it in a lifetime, if you’re dependent solely on your own efforts. All right. 

So I love that I love that energy. I love that vibe, I want you to take full advantage of that. And the other thing you’ll see is as you get into masterminds, if you care about them, and you start to care about the dynamic and the people, they will also it’s like anything else that you do, especially with respect to your business or your goals, it will call forth, it will trigger you people, the people will trigger you, they will stare your shit up, you will start to see that you have these other things that you know, stop you from getting help you you will see where you have I’ll do what I do on my I’ll do it myself syndrome, you’ll see where your vision might be too small, you’ll see where you need to go faster, you’ll see where you need to go slower, you’ll see where maybe some of your team building efforts, your efforts to delegate have gone poorly, because and you’ll see that you’re the common denominator. And you’ll see where you can do that work and you’ll start to do that work. 

So it’s it can be a very, very healing and transformational experience, even though it’s you know, it is more people to be in relationship with. Alright, so that is it for me for today. I love y’all, I will see you a bunch I’m going to I’m doing lives all the time. 

Now, just because I got a lot to say and I love to talk to you guys. I missed you this weekend. I’ll tell you about the weekend soon. I want you to keep your head up. I want you to keep your heart out. And for sure I will see you here on the next transformation Tuesday. Oh, if you love this, please like it. We’re on whatever platform you’re on. If you’re on YouTube, please subscribe. And also click the little bell so you can get notified when I do new lives. I love to see you too. This is so beautiful. I give thanks for technology that we can do this.

Let’s see what else Oh, if you want to get notified if you want to get these actually in your email inbox, go to soultour.com/subscribe for $11 a month we actually send these to you, and on Saturdays we send you a whole nother set of wonderful teachings things from my archive, deep-dive, you know more like our 90-minute, two hour or sometimes even teachings and a practice of the week a daily ritual other week. I think that’s about it.

Oh and you know, share this. Let’s bring that collective effervescence in. If you have another friend who you think would love to reach their full potential before they die, this is the place for them to be so make sure you share and let’s make it a party. All right. I love you. I’ll see you next transformation Tuesday and also live. I’ll see you soon.

Head up + heart out,

Tara-Nicholle Kirke, MA, Esq.
The Metaphysician
Founder + CEO of SoulTour

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I want to talk to you about how to be your Big Self, and do your Big Dreams and live your Big Life.

And when I say big I mean like capital B, capital S, Big Self, Big Dreams, Big Life, how to fulfill your sacred contracts. 

Very specifically, today we’re going to talk about the topic of your zone of genius, and how to find it. 

Alright, so what is your zone of genius? Do you know what it is? If you do know what it is come into the comments and let me know that you know what it is, if you don’t know what it is, and you’d love to know what it is come to the comments and let me know that do if you’ve been doing some stuff to try to figure out what it is. Definitely let me know that too. 

Let’s begin. Alright, so I was giving a talk recently, some of you know, I wrote this I wrote up this wonderful manifesto falls short of describing what it is called the vivid vivid vision for sold for 2025. 

I will roll it out to all of you and and do a workshop with you to help you download your vivid vision to and in the vivid vision I mentioned that I would like to be working with a very specific media organization, the Atlantic. 

So I mean, I wrote the document that maybe 10 days later the Atlantic was calling. They sent me a lesson, a message on LinkedIn. And we’re like, Would you like to speak at our pursuit of happiness Summit? So I was like, Yeah, let’s do it. 

So I go speak at it. And during the talk, I talk about, you know, I talk about the the reality that human beings are beings of soul and spirit that is at the center of a soul. We don’t leave that shit at work at home when we come to work, right. 

And so I talked about part of the needs of a thriving human soul being fulfillment and being fulfillment, you know, being allowed being able to spend a lot of the time of your life in fulfillment of your sacred contracts. And so then I sort of talked a bit about the various zones of human activity, using the framework that I learned from Gay Hendricks in his book, The Big Leap, which if you have not read it, if you’re in any of my programs, in the School of spiritual strategy at soul tour, you’ve probably read this book like three times, if you’re not in my programs, get the book. It’s called The Big Leap by Gay Hendricks. It’s brilliant. It’s a game changer. 

So I started to talk to people in the in the talk at the Atlantic in pursuit of happiness Summit, through the four zones of human activity per gate, per the Reverend Dr. Hendricks, and so just so you know, the zones go like this, we all have these four zones, and everything we do falls into one of these zones at work and not at work, okay, this is not just about work, but it’s important for work. 

Alright, so the first zone is your zone of incompetence. TLDR is stay out of that all of us are in that points in our day, and we shouldn’t be. So just stay out of that. 

The next zone is your zone of competence. That is where you’re like kind of okay, doing stuff. But you know, if you came from any sort of like, background where there was a like hard work ethic or virtue, you know, there’s virtue in the struggle, you may be spending more time than you really should be spending in your zone of competence. That’s so just know that’s the second zone. 

The third and the fourth word get really interesting. Okay, the third, especially for those who really do know they have a kernel of greatness within them. I’m talking to you especially for those who are starting to kind of get a little worried that they may not reach their full potential or do the you know, the big things that they’ve always wanted to do before they die.

If you hear that, and that’s resonant for you. That’s because I’m actually talking to you. So these are the last two zones are really important to understand and begin to master. As you know, my one of my core programs is called Life and Self Mastery, because we are not here to be no amateurs. There is a game of life. There is a how to play it. And there is mastery available to you if you’re willing to be very counterculture because this culture does not like mastery. We live in an anti mastery culture don’t even Don’t get it twisted. We’ll come back to that in another live. 

Anyhow, the last two zones are the your zone of excellence In your zone of genius, right and so many of us have heard and for years prided ourselves on having a spirit of excellent excellence, being excellent people with your zone of excellence in this framework is actually a freakin trap. It’s a trap, your zone of excellence is where you are really, really, really, really great at doing the things that are in that zone. And they are really, really, really, really, really deeply ting to you. All right. So the zone of excellence. 

The reason it’s a trap, is that you’re often the zone of excellence is where you’ve gotten you maybe you’ve gotten external validation, like in the form of praise from your parents, good grades, in school and college awards, raises promotions, big titles, all kinds of external validation, you’ve been getting your whole life from being doing the things that are in your zone of excellence, but they are really freaking depleting to you. All right, and then let’s talk about your zone of genius. 

All right, so your zone of genius is where you are maybe the greatest of you might be a goat, you might be the greatest of all time at doing the stuff that’s in your zone of genius, okay? However it gives you a life to do the things that are in your zone of genius it lights you the freak up other people from the outside looking in or looking at what you’re doing when you’re in your zone of genius and they’re like she yet girl that’s like a lot of work or that’s like so much or whatever, to other people, it seems hard and to you, you get like, more energy somehow as you go, right. 

And so it’s no coincidence because you know, I happen to know that your zone of genius is when you’re in your zone of genius, you are also in alignment with you are doing things that are right squarely within your sacred contracts to do them. 

Right it’s kind of just like how the divine made sex feel good because it was necessary sex is necessary for the species to be perpetuated. So it feels good. Same with your sacred contract sing with you and the things in your zone of genius the more of us are in our zones of genius doing the things that light us up as we do them. 

We are actually those things feel that we are wired for those things to feel good to us because when we do them we actually help further human evolution onward upward for the better for the benefit of all. 

All right, that’s how the world gets good. Yeah, and oh, by the way, it’s also like the path of the way Least Resistance to all of your dreams, goals desires, the real true deep, big ones. Not the culture says you should want one’s right so it’s zone of genius is same as path of least resistance is same as fulfilling your sacred contracts is same as Oh, freaking. It’s so much fun. It’s so much fun in your zone of genius. 

I hear a lot of coaches right now talking about how they’re like wanting to you know, save up work enough to save enough to quit their jobs. And I’m like, yo, I literally was a could was in a financial position to stop working somebody about like, five years ago.

I can’t not do this. It gives me life. Right. And so that’s when that’s real financial freedom is when you actually come to work eat like delighted with where your life is, and eager for more and more and more. And the work lights you up in your you’re having transformation impact on the people you get to work with. And those people are freaking badass, like my clients. I would literally spend time with my clients for free and do sometimes. 

So like, Yo, if I can also set it up that I help bring crazy value to their lives into their businesses and they to mine. And we get to spend time together. I just get to rendezvous with genius people at the Venn diagram overlap of their zone of genius and mine all day every day. Are you kidding? Yes, I’ll be doing that for I’ll be 397. And you know what, I’ll still be cute. Because I figured that out too. 

So this is not even So hi, Kimberly. Hi, Tam, hype girl. awesome to see you guys all here. That was all just like my context for the story. I want to tell you Okay, all right. So I give this talk at the Atlantic in pursuit of happiness Summit. I, you know, kind of briefly brush over the zones of genius. 

I’m talking to them about my new B2B program which is called radically truthful and radically fruitful. It’s sort of a name that’s inspired by my take on I’m like, canceling productivity culture and bringing ushering in a new soulful vision for how we work that’s based on being fruitful. 

Alright, so I share a little bit the zones and I share about how I work that I have two businesses, one, you know, mostly online, but not all, and one brick and mortar franchise business, I have three kids, all of whom have said are neurodivergent, I have my own complex medical diagnosis situation. 

I have, you know, multiple homes in multiple places. And I’m kind of juggling and managing at this moment in Korea, creating in this moment. And life is good, real good. And I work right now I’m working about 30 hours a week. So after the top, these two guys who looked really alike, walked up to me, and I’m more like, hey, so we’re brothers, we just started a company together. We love the idea of what you’re talking about. But how is that? Is that even real? Like how is that even possible to work that little like we are working all the time. And is this like kind of a pipe dream was basically what they were asking me. 

And so I kind of used our conversation. As a way I’m going to use the conversation I had with them as a way to share with you my spiritual strategy method, which is what I teach in all of my programs, very specifically, though, in Life and Self Mastery, and our empires of the soul Business Mastermind for entrepreneurs. So, in the method is just three steps, it’s recalibration, actualization, and alignment. And we do it in all different ways, and all different areas of your life and your business and your work. Alright, so.

So basically, what was happening with these guys was what I see happening with people who come who I meet in the world, all the time, which is they heard about some actions they might take, or a way a different way things could be. 

And when you start thinking about trying to take action, to make a change, transformational action in your business or your life, to make a change, but that action conflicts in a really core level with your paradigms, your worldviews, your beliefs, your identity, taking, trying to take the action or even trying for them, it was like trying to wrap their heads around the idea that can work 30 hours a week, sparked all this inner resistance. 

It was like the struggle switch went on. Right? They had all this like disbelief. And for others, you know, maybe the issue would not the inner conflict might not be at belief level, but it might be at identity level, it might be that you actually try to start taking action and changing the way you work and hit your upper limits. And you should do it anyway. 

Alright, because that’s how transformation real life real world transformation works is you begin to take action to do something that’s part of your desire, set your dream, set your vision, set your intention, set your goal set, and resistance sparks and that resistant, here’s the thing, you got to start rethinking your resistance. Because your resistance is not assignment, something’s wrong with you, your resistance is always a sign that you’re doing something right because you stepped out of your comfort zone. 

By definition, if you have triggered resistance, you have stepped out of your comfort zone. 

Alright, so your resistance is always a sign that you have done something right. It’s always also a gift that points you in the direction of the inner work that needs doing. It points you directly to the inner conflict that needs resolving. 

So I want to give you a mantra if you’re a note taker, take this one down. I said started seeing this one probably 25 years ago, after the first time I read, you can heal your life by Louise Hay. There’s a beautiful mantra in it that goes like this. 

I choose to see it as a treasure. When I discover something new to release. I choose to see it as a treasure when I discover something new to release. 

So that’s a word for someone because that will change your entire experience of cultivating life and self mastery of doing your inner work of doing your shadow work of whatever it is however you’re thinking about the inner work that you need to do to do in this coming season. Or that you’re in.

So if you choose to see it as a treasure when you discover something new to release instead of judging yourself for what you discover that needs releasing your whole life will get better I promise you Okay, so try that on. 

And they actually let me just because I’ve said it, I have I say my I do my declarations out loud. declarations are part of the daily ritual that I teach in all my programs. 

And I never asked my students to do something I have not done first so I give them declarations usually like two decades after I started working with them. and have already seen the fruit of those declarations come to fruition in my life. Right? So I would, I used to say, in my own declarations, I choose to see it as a treasure. 

When I discover something new to release, I see and feel myself changing moment by moment. Other people’s thoughts and issues no longer have any power over me. I am the power in my world, I choose to be free. 

Sometimes I would go into I think differently. I speak differently, I act differently. Other people treat me differently, all as well in my world. So that’s just kind of how declarations go. 

Anyway, all right back to these guys. So these two guys come up to me, they’re like, we would love to believe that it is possible to work 30 hours a week. However, we do not currently believe that it is possible to work 30 hours a week. So I was like, all right. And I’m literally like still in my seat having just presented. 

So I’m like, Alright, tell me about your parents. Tell me about your childhood. Because so much of this tracks back to so much of the work of life and self mastery in the early stages is the work of deconditioning and unlearning are programs that you learned when you were early, early, early, early, early childhood. And then there’s like the middle stage work of life and self mastery is a work of re parenting. 

All right, re parenting yourself, which involves. So you’ve already seen the conditioning you got when you were little. It involves you being like, Oh, yes. Thanks, parents. Y’all were good enough, however you were whether they were good or terrible parents. The fact that you can even be having a conversation, the fact that you can be watching a YouTube video with me right now talking about re parenting yourself and feel the resonance and begin to think about doing that work means they were good enough so that your RE parenting journey begins in earnest when you can say I see that conditioning, I see where I got it. 

My parents were good enough. I now take the job of parenting myself back over. All right, it can be a very related to the work they do and Family Constellation theory which we talked about some of the programs, right where it’s like you can truly give thanks to your ancestors for their gifts, and leave the trauma with them. All right, you don’t have to take it all. 

Alright, so the first thing these guys said to me was, well, our mother is super, super successful. She’s an attorney. I said she believes she had like a contingent of like a personal injury attorney attorney works on contingency, or she had billing an hourly billing attorney. She’s an hourly billing attorney. I’m like, I don’t even need you to say anything else. Because I used to be an hourly billing attorney. 

So I know that that lifestyle comes along with it comes along with I know the the trances and the traumas of hourly billing attorneys. And I’m not being facetious when I say that include the trends of time scarcity, include the trance of like my work, my time is my worth, in California hourly billing attorneys bill every 10th of an hour. So every six minutes of the whole frickin day they must track their time some for decades. 

So it creates a very warped sense of time. And so I was like, Ah, so this is step one of their journey is going to be to recalibrate their understanding of work, my work is my worth. No, it’s not, is to re recalibrate their understanding of what time is and how you can flow it, how you can expand and collapse it on demand. Break waking up from the trance of time scarcity and scarcity in general. 

These are this is really all recalibration work, right and doing some of that shift into RE parenting and Family Constellation type work. Alright, so that was step one. So the second thing they said to me was, so what’s the deal with your zone of genius? Sounds awesome. Don’t know what ours is?

Actually, I think one of them knew, but he was the quiet one. And I think the other one was, like, very intrigued by the concept, but didn’t know. So he’s like, I don’t know what my zone of genius says, All I know is I gotta have like conversation, I gotta hire people. And I gotta make sales calls. And I gotta send 40 emails today, and I gotta get it done. And all that stuff has to get done. That’s all I know. 

So let’s talk about your zone of genius. And I shared with them that you know, I teach all of these concepts to my 40 year old clients into my four year old because I want her to have the unfair advantage of accelerated understanding of her own wiring. 

So I have figured out ways to talk about all these things in language if one girl can understand truly. And so I said, you know, most of us are familiar with the with the device is the like the Myers Briggs type device of introvert? extrovert, right. So most people understand that or most people, I have conversations with most of you if you’re watching this, understand that introverts are people. 

Let me say that back the other way, that extroverts like my London are people who charge their batteries on other people. All right, she charges her batteries literally on me, on the other kids. That’s why I have her out in the world a lot because she needs to be around other people to get recharged. 

Then there are introverts like me, I’m like the most social introvert ever. So I charge my batteries in one on one conversations or in alone time. Right? And this is the work that we do in stage two of the method. actualization. actualization requires that you understand your own wiring, you understand how you uniquely work in all of your different traits, all that you know, any of the self discovery systems that are important or resonant for you. 

We work with your archetypes, your attachment styles, your inner critic, archetypes, we work with your sacred money archetypes we work with, you know, your personality types, all of these types. It’s really that’s what the work of self actualization and actualization and my method means it means you come to discover, and learn all the things you need to know about why you do what you do, using all the tools at your disposal. 

And you do not learn it so that you might fix or change or work on yourself to make those things different. This is important, the read part, our step two of actualization in my method is then envisioning like sort of reimagining your intentions, visions goals for your life, in a way that that is designed to make the most of the wiring that you came here with. All right. So it’s not about fixing or changing at all. 

It’s about re envisioning your dreams for your life in a way that the life you envision, now works really well with your existing wiring. All right, but you’ve got to know the wiring first. So I told them, here’s a way to think about your zone of genius. Think about it this way, your zone of genius is the work or the activities that you do that charge your batteries. 

Okay, so all of you who in the comments wrote, you’re not sure of your zone of genius, this is the beginning to understanding your zone of genius is knowing that it is possible and available to you and starting to be on the lookout for those moments, at work. And at home. Just those moments, when you’re engaged in an activity that charges your batteries, begin to take note of those moments begin to do it in writing. Okay, and we’ll talk about integrating that knowledge as we go on in all of these lives you’re about to get. 

Okay, so then the third thing these brothers said to me are the one the one who was like super skeptical and like fascinated, which is always a good sign for me. He said, So are you saying? He’s like, Okay, I kind of by that there’s work that I do that that charges my batteries. I don’t know exactly what it is. But I will like Be on the lookout for it.

Are you saying that I should be trying to build my whole work life around that. Now he was incredulous. Because we’re also taught this culture. It’s like the there’s a line in Khalil Gibran lines, the Prophet, the section of it about work, he starts out saying always you’ve been taught that labor is misfortune. Literally, our whole culture for generations of humanity has taught us that work is misfortune. It is an unfortunate thing to have to do. Right. That’s the platform of beliefs. 

That is about work that is in the collective unconscious. So this guy was like, Wait, are you trying to say is like okay, so I by that there is a place in my activities, in my wiring, where I’m doing things that light me up, aren’t you trying to say, I shouldn’t basically do that shit all the time. I said not here’s what I’m saying. I’m saying that if you can build your whole business, and your whole life, or most of it, let’s say 90% of it. If you can build that in inside your zone of genius, if you can set yourself up so that most of the time you are in your zone of genius And you can just take some time, but you can, then you should do it, you should guess you should do it. That’s the goal. That’s the dream. 

And that’s why people say about me, I will help you do your big dreams before you die, I will help you do that by undoing your self sabotage pattern. But way more important than all of that shit is I will help you dream in look the plate dream for your life, and fall in love with that dream, which is important. 

Because to do all of the rest of this stuff, you need the love of the dream to pull you to power, the work that you do through all the self sabotage through all a shadow, right, you need it and you need that emotional charge and attachment with your own sort of your own love affair with your own future, your own love affair with your own self, you need that emotion, to pull you through the inner work and the outer work to bring it to bring you to a place where you do start to be not just start to feel fulfilled, where you start to be fulfilled as you came here to be fulfilled. 

All right, so that’s my steps 123 That’s my recalibrate actual lies online. You know, to summarize, you recalibrate your belief systems first you actualize by discovering your own inner wiring and then reconnect reimagining your dream for your life to in a way that the new life you envision, you know, makes the most of your existing wiring instead of you trying to change your wiring and force yourself into, you know, on the treadmill, the human, the human suffering hamster wheel of doing what other people want you to do, which is usually the stuff that’s in your zone of excellence. 

And then you build your whole business there and your whole life there and you do it gradually Gay Hendricks says his goal is and I agree so hard wholeheartedly with this. His goal is to get his his people that he coaches 90% of the time into their zone of genius. And how you start is with 10 minutes a day. Can you spend so that’s my challenge for you at the end of this. Can you spend 10 minutes today or tomorrow doing activity that charges your freakin batteries. It’s just like lick the plate delicious to you. 

All right, if you can come into the chat and say you can I have so much more I’m going to share with you guys over the coming days. I don’t I’m not selling anything at the moment. I will be soon. None of the programs are enrolling yet, but we will be soon. 

So if you’d like to get on the list to be one of the first to know when we are letting people back into the school of spiritual strategy. Just come into the chat and type like or into my DMs and type recalibrate or actualize or align whichever was the one that felt the most like usually the most, the one that scares you the most is the one that you that is calling you the most. So what’s the thing you want to do the most recalibrate, actualize or align, but that in the comments, or put that in my DMs and we’ll make sure that you are on the list. You’re one of the first to know when we reopen the school for enrollment.

So if you like this video, if you liked what we did here today together on Transformation Tuesday, and you want more videos like this, like this video, like it literally like so other people can start to see it. Share this video with your peoples. If you’re on YouTube, subscribe to my channel and click the little bell there so that it notifies you when I put new videos on. I’m doing new lives a lot right now. 

Or come to soultour.com/subscribe and for $11 a month we will literally send these messages directly into your inbox. You’ll get a couple of things for me a week, including a daily ritual. And a never, you know never before seen video from my art my teaching archives. I send those out on Saturdays to the people who subscribe to that. The $11 a month newsletter that’s soultour.com/subscribe 

All right. I love y’all can’t wait to see you again. It feels like every day the more I think about talking with you guys regularly, the more things come up that I feel like I need to share. If you ever have questions or things that you’d like me to, you know cover in one of these, feel free to just email us or put something in the comments. I’m going to check the chat really good. All right. All right. All right. You guys are amazing. Okay. All right. This is awesome. Steve. Hi. Nice to see you. She bye see you saying actualized let’s do it. Yes, Kimberly pearl. Awesome. Lovely to see you all. I’ll see you guys soon.

Head up + heart out,

Tara-Nicholle Kirke, MA, Esq.
The Metaphysician
Founder + CEO of SoulTour

P.S.: Want more like this? Become a SoulTour subscriber for just $11 a month.

@taranichollekirke on FB | TW | IG | LI

“What brings you to me?” I asked this powerhouse woman who had discovered me via my class in Simon Sinek’s school. 

“What’s the issue that you think about, worry about, fear or dream about the most?” 

“What thought loop is taking up the most of your mental bandwidth these days” I asked her.

“I’m 39. And I think I know what I want out of life but I’m not sure. My general feeling is the sense that I’m running out of time.”

My average student and client is already smart and successful and knows it. Very high-functioning. Has already done a ton of personal growth work. 

But they are also somewhat unfulfilled. 

They are successful, but still feel like they’ve got potential they haven’t yet fulfilled. 

And they virtually all feel like they’re running out of time… especially in COVID’s wake. The gift of COVID is the reminder that we’ll all die someday, which is a gift because it’s a rapid priority resetter, but until we recalibrate our paradigms and actualize  our own unique strengths?  

if you’ve been feeling like you’re running out of time in your life to be as successful as you know you’re destined to be… 

If you feel like you’re running out of time in your life to live the meaningful life of radiant health, financial wealth, love, wisdom and lick-the-plate creative fulfillment… 

If you know there are things you’ve always wanted to do and you somehow are still holding yourself back from doing them…

Let’s reclaim your time, like Auntie Maxine. Here we go in the three steps of my Spiritual Strategies for Success framework: 

1. Recalibration
2. Actualization
3. Alignment

Recalibration. 

If you want to break free from the shackles of the feeling that you’re running out of time, you must first recalibrate a few things:

Recalibrate what you think you know about time

Recalibrate your nervous system

Recalibrate what you believe is possible

Recalibrate what you believe is available to you

Recalibrate what “success” even means to you

***

Time scarcity is a lie. 

(Side note: Money scarcity, is a lie, too. It’s fiction, Brilliant One. See, fear is the real opiate of the masses, not religion. The fear of “not enough” keeps people afraid and acting like good little cogs in the machine, so the machine keeps feeding the fear.) 

The truth is that time is money is energy. 

And energy is infinite, once you learn how to feed it by taking a sacred pause on “reacting” mode, tapping back into your natural strengths and powers, reconnecting to Source and opening your inner pipeline every single day, with your daily rituals. 

So, what if I told you that you could create time… and you could move through your life knowing you had all the time in the world? 

Sure, there’s time management, though that has diminishing returns. You can create a little space on your calendar by being very, very selective about what you agree to be reliable, responsible and available to. 

You can—and should—create some space on your calendar by learning how to say no and how to say it unapologetically. If you say no to a thing that would have taken an hour but you spend an hour ruminating about how to say no, an hour discussing your fears about what might happen if you say no on Facebook and 3 hours backpedaling on your no, you see where that math gets you? 

It gets you in the red. So ditch the apologies. We do have all the time in the world, but we DON’T have time to play these unworthiness games of this bullshit culture anymore, Brilliant One.

So after you’re done some calendar clearing and boundary skill-building, you can start creating a TON of time by getting your ass into your zone of genius and spending more and more and more time there everyday.

Your goal is that your daily life and your zone of genius become virtually one and the same. 

And what’s fun about your zone of genius is that, when you’re there, you get to create time using the power of your wholehearted, unequivocal YES. 

And YES just feels better than no, doesn’t it? A highly-aligned, deeply resonant YES… feels delicious. 

Actualization

Don’t let this culture get you twisted: Actualization is not about excellence. 

It’s not about performing. 

It’s not about CONFORMING. 

And it sure ain’t about producing. 

It’s not about hard work or even about achieving goals, even, per se. 

True actualization is about genius. 

It’s about discovering your unique, personal genius…and the genius of the other people around you… and learning how to leverage it all for the benefit of all.

It’s about understanding potentials and breaking self-sabotage patterns. 

It’s about practicing the self-awareness to see your upper limits and about learning all the Spiritual Strategies of successfully dissolving them. 

At my talk last week, two brothers who were co-founding a startup asked me two questions that are germane here: 

How can we find our zone of genius?

Are you saying we should be building our business as much as possible in our zone of genius? 

I answered: If you can build your career, your business and your LIFE in your zone of genius—AND YOU CAN—then you SHOULD.

Because your zone of genius is part of your sacred contract. It’s part of what your soul came here to do. It’s part of what human evolution is asking you to do. It’s the vehicle to you fulfilling yourself as you came here to be fulfilled. 

Your zone of genius is also your path of least resistance and your path of most financial wealth and your path of most lick-the-plate joy. It’s how the Divine speaks to you within you, giving you a step-by-step roadmap to the life of greatness, meaning and prosperity you came here to live (that’s why you want it). 

And here’s how you’ll find it: 

Not by sitting in a room thinking about it, though there are plenty of prompts and exercises and reflections and self-inquiries that can help. And people around you are often seeing and noting and naming your zone of genius for you for YEARS before you can see it yourself. 

You’ll find your zone of genius by being in the world. Acting on inspiration. Making decisions and trying things out. 

You know about extroverts and introverts, right? That’s just a way we talk about what people need to charge their batteries. Extroverts charge them off other people and introverts charge them alone. 

Well, your Zone of Genius is like that, too. When you’re in your Zone of Excellence—the limitation zone—you are really great at the work, but it drains your batteries. 

When you’re in your Zone of Genius—the liberation zone—you are the greatest of all time at the work you’re doing, but it charges your batteries. 

Being in your Zone of Genius lights you up and recharges your energy… it actually creates time, because you can be 50-500X as fruitful when you’re in your Zone of Genius than when you’re slogging away doing the excellent, but depleting things other people want you to do.  

Alignment

Now—after the paradigm shifts of recalibration, after you’ve discovered your zone of genius and assented to get into it—now is the time for alignment, aka inspired action. 

Now is when you can blow up, re-envision, reimagine or download new goals that:

• Align your inner and outer worlds
• Aligns your goals to what really matters to you
• Aligns your livelihood and your work—the activities that occupy the majority of your precious moments of life—to your Zone of Genius. 

Alignment must follow recalibration, because if you try to graft alignment work onto broken beliefs like “hard work is virtuous” or “I need to prove my worthiness to charge a lot of money” you will literally create a career, a business or even a family that recreates and perpetuates that broken worldview.

True Alignment creates EMPIRES with mind-blowing ease. 

With real Alignment work, your hardest work is your inner work. 

Getting unresistant…

Letting the building blocks of Divine Order fall into place in your mind, your body and your affairs…

Placing the cosmic order…

Practicing Buddhist detachment to how it looks when it shows up…

Keeping yourself in connection with Source and keeping your Pipeline open

Showing up with 100% of who you are and following the golden threads of inspiration that drop into your Pipeline…

Continuously seeing what needs seeing and breaking the pull of your own self-sabotage patterns.

Staying loose…

Letting things take the time it takes…

Sitting on your hands to refrain from tracking, rushing or judging your own progress. 

Last week I had this wonderful day of FINDING highly-aligned components of my own Big Dreams.

One powerful day of alignment, where it felt like a (maybe) book agent, a right-fit au pair, a house in Mexico and much more just fell into place. 

And from the outside looking in, it seemed like the heavens had just opened up and rained down. 

And they had. 

But the truth is that this powerful day of alignment was pre-paved by the preceding years of intention-setting and inner work, capacity-building work, skill-building work, all the breakdown to breakthrough work of learning how to ask for and get genius help, seeing my own dysfunctional patterns of under leveraging my assets work, loop-closing decision-making work, asking Spirit to show me the way and receiving the answers work. 

My intention here was to give you a glimpse into the ongoing, deep inner work of Spiritual Strategy when we go from a so-called problem—”it feels like I’m running out of time” —to solutions that resolve that problem but also take you to levels of health, wealth, wisdom, joy, love and self-expression that you might not have known were possible before. 

This is how you master your life…and your self. 

Let us know if you want to go deeper. That’s what we do at SoulTour.

Head up + heart out,

Tara-Nicholle Kirke, MA, Esq.
The Metaphysician
Founder + CEO of SoulTour

P.S.: Want more like this? Become a SoulTour subscriber for just $11 a month.

@taranichollekirke on FB | TW | IG | LI

I just wanted to tell you this little story that explains why I have these little ceramic birds, all over my desk all over my house. 

They were inspired. 

And I think we should be inspired as we work as we build our empires. 

They were inspired by the story I read a long time ago, that was written by Anne Lamott. And it was like her own life story. 

So she told this story about how when she was a little kid, she lived in California, she grew up in California. California has a penchant for giving small children these really big projects they work on all year in school. 

So there was this project that her brother had received as a homework assignment at the beginning of the year. And it was this really comprehensive, like, he had to write about a report that included coverage of all these different kinds of birds. He had been given the whole school year to do this report. And it was due the next day, and he hadn’t even started.

So imagine you’re a little kid, and you’re just kind of freaking out. You’re like, “oh, my gosh, I gotta do this report on all these birds haven’t even begun. It’s due tomorrow.” 

So she says he’s sitting down at the kitchen table, and his dad sits down with him. And the dad’s like, “what’s happening? What’s wrong?” And the kid says, “I got this whole, this whole report, it’s due tomorrow, I don’t even know where to begin.” 

And the dad says, “You know what, let’s just take it bird. By bird. Let’s just take it Bird by Bird.”

So I like to tell that story as I coach people on building the empires of their soul. 

Well, first is that goes people are just self-actualizing, you know, discovering who they really are, and what they really want out of life, starting to do their dreams, upgrading the dream. So they can fall in love with their future. 

Then starting to understand their own unique sacred contracts their unique spirits and strengths and shadows, so they can actualize their true sacred self, and then doing the action of aligning to it. 

So as I work with people on all of those things, it’s really common for people for grown smart, successful and repress and unfulfilled people who are wondering if they’re going to run out of time in their life before they ever start doing the things that they’ve always wanted to do. It’s very common that people feel the same way that little boy felt at the table in the kitchen. You know, having like you’ve had this assignment, your for so long, and you haven’t started and now it feels like you’re running out of time. Right? 

And so what’s really helpful is for you to know that you can’t just start taking action, but usually if you just start taking action, without doing the underlying actualization work, the self discovery work, the understanding of who you really are, and why you’re really here and what your wiring is and how you work, right so that you can work with it instead of trying to fix it or change it. 

And if you start doing that action to try to get in alignment with your callings in alignment with your desire to fulfill your potential without first doing some some recalibration work recalibrating of your actual goals, recalibrating of your beliefs, recalibrate breaking of your, frankly, your nervous system, all the systems, your nervous system, your belief system, your system systems, you got to do recalibration first, then you do actualization first, then you do the alignment work the action work.

When you first start doing that, oh, well, if you don’t do all of those things in that order, usually what will happen is you’ll start doing some alignment works and time management works and productivity work some you know, trying to take action word and the inner struggles which will flip on because you’ll have great inner conflict between the actions that you’re trying to take in your underlying beliefs or paradigms. 

Or maybe there’ll be great inner conflict between the actions you’re trying to take and what your wise inner being really, really wants. What you’re really wired well to do. 

I did that for years as I was trying to like run businesses and have you know big careers or big jobs that involves a lot of doing when my archetypal you my wiring is ruler, so my job is to actually stay out of jobs that require me to do a lot of doing and instead staying in roles and positions where my whole job is to set the vision write the vision, make it plain, inspire magnetize attract all all the right components of that vision, including all the right people, to help build the Empire, and then build the, you know, build the empire without ever swinging the hammer Personally, myself.

That’s where I have the most impact in the world in my life, when I started to learn about the archetypes and I reflected on my past jobs, like that’s why I was so effective at my fitness pal, we grew a company really rapidly and a customer base really rapidly. In part because I could grow a I grew up program internally in a marketing team internally, where I was doing very, very little executing, but I was doing a live I poured my heart and soul into vision, resourcing, you know, protecting my people so that they could execute on the vision and making sure that I stated my zone of genius and delegating into their zones of genius. That was that was how we were able to get such results. 

That’s how Solter in the in the other work that I’m doing right now is starting to be incredibly effective as I stay in my zone of genius and delegate into their zones of genius, right not expecting people to be all things are, work their hearts out. 

So as you first come into a place of trying to do alignment with vision work in your life, or in your own business or in your own career, know first that you need to have done the actualization work, the self discovery work. The recalibration work, the ritual, the daily ritual work. And also know that even then it can be really daunting. Sometimes when you recalibrate the vision. I know when I recalibrated my vision, in accordance with what I had learned about myself and what I had learned about this universe and how it works in my role in it, the vision I recalibrated to was way, way way vaster than anything I had ever thought about or dreamed or imagined before. So it was way bigger. And it felt just right. 

There are those humans among us that have a destiny to build big, great, and big things for the benefit of us all. And if you’re one of those people, you may have been taught your whole life that you got to start small and build up, you may have been taught your whole life that you got to do these incremental things, prove that you’re trustworthy, I used to do that in church all the time. If you can show God that you are trustworthy with a little then you can grow and get a lot. Maybe that’s sometimes how it works. But what I know is if you have wiring for empire building in your spirit, and you are trying to build small things, the chances you will be successful building the small, you may learn a lot along the way trying to build some small things, you may mature in your own teaching or your own understanding of your own sacred genius along the way, you may feel some other things in your life along the way. That’s what happened to me. 

But it was really clear in my business, and in my life, it was it’s always been easier for me to sell six figure things and to sell five figure or than to sell $40 things, right? So we kind of just got to a place where we’re like, wait a second, maybe that’s not the business we should be in of trying to sell the $40 things even though that’s what everybody else does, even though that would be accessible to a lot of people. Right? That’s we needed to start big, and then you know, move into more and more accepted accessible offerings. And that’s just when it sort of started to click for me, that’s when I started to get critical mass and critical traction for me, because I wasn’t running through my spiritual and emotional runway trying to do hard things for little dollars.

So if that may be you, you may come into a place where you do the actual recalibration work, you do some actualization work, this is paradigm work, right? You reset your vision, you set it in alignment with who you really are, you begin to do the alignment work of lining up what you care about the most with your identity with your beliefs, with the decisions that you make, with the way you manage your time in your projects, with your systems, with your environments. And I mean, we could be talking about a business as well as we could be talking about our love life, as well as we could be talking about a physical body system as well as we could be talking about a home, a family. 

So you do that work. 

And sometimes the vision that comes through is smaller than you thought, like I know in my personal life for a long time, the vision needed to shift from you know, whatever, having whatever kind of family or relationship or whatever it needed to shift to developing inner peace. It needed to downsize for a while into first just developing inner peace and doing all the shadow work and light work that went along with that. 

And then in other areas of my life, the vision was super expanding, right. And all of this is just for a season. 

So anyway, once you expand the vision to where it needs to be, for the to be, once you right sides, the vision for where you and your spirit are at this season of your this life, you may feel a bit like the little boy at the table, you might feel like you’re behind which you are not because you cannot be behind, you are always in the perfect place at the perfect time. Every moment of your in every moment of your life, wherever you are right now. You can discover great wisdom and clarity and direction and strength and joy to be found in your right now circumstances. 

Just rushing yourself tracking yourself judging that where you’re at right now is somehow wrong or that you’re wrong for being right there is the fastest way to shut off your inner pipeline of inspiration. So don’t ever do that right now is perfect, divine timing is real, and it’s in your favor. 

But if you should get to a moment in your life where you feel like the recalibration has started to work, and you reset the vision, and you’re like, overwhelmed by what’s coming through, I want you to do what I did at the when I stood on the brink of looking at the empire that wanted to be built through me. 

I want you to remember that you are building the empire of your soul, I want you to take up that it considers spirit having laid the gauntlet and you take it up knowing that you’ll have the right mentors, the right assistance, the right guides, the right tools will show up for you. That’s why you’re watching this right now. 

And I want you to remember that you are just going to build your empire, the Empire of your soul, you’re just going to build it bird, by Bird, you’re just going to take the natural next step that lights up for you. Today, the next hour, the next hour the next day. And some days what will light up for you is that the right next step is to write the vision and to make it plain. 

Sometimes the right next step is going to be the three year action plan. Right? Sometimes the right next step is going to be to stay out of action planning and just show up to that meeting today with a really uniquely powerful, clear intention for the relationship between the people in that meeting. 

Sometimes you’ll show up in a day, and you’ll just surrender your calendar and you’ll say, “I give thanks. So the divine genius plan for my life now comes to pass under grace. And in a perfect way, I now release all resistance to any element or stage of that plan. And I give thanks for knowing that every moment of every day, including every moment of this day is an element and stage of that plan. So I surrender my calendar. I have a plan for what I’m going to do today. And I surrender my calendar to divine right order and divine right timing, knowing that I will always end up in the perfect place in the perfect time.”

And you know, sometimes that sounds very grand. But sometimes what that looks like is this. 

Like I did that, you know there was a day last week when I felt that on my heart. So that was part of my ritual for the morning. And as I drive and dropped off Londyn at school afterwards, I thought, “you know, I’m going to stop and grab a cup of tea at this coffee shop that it’s a new newly built coffee shop in an old shopping center that I had never, I’d never stepped in there.” So I stopped in there. And it’s lovely the way they had done it with you know, Redwoods in this shopping center and just a really cozy little shop. 

So I went in and got a cup of tea. And then as I was wandering out, I realized there was a whole strip of commercial real estate that still open right behind this coffee shop. And I called the broker and was just like, “hey, I’m Tara, you know, I own SoulTour. And here’s what we do there. And I own 9Round, the kickboxing studio at Lake Merritt. And I see you have a couple of spaces here and I’m not really in the market for space, but I could kind of see some things here. Like maybe I could do another studio over here or maybe, you know SoulTour is wanting to create a world-class media recording center. So something I don’t know, can I see him?” 

He’s like, “Yeah, come see him.” So you know, and I went to see them. They were awesome. So, will you know I will continue to take the natural next step I will continue to look for yes signals, and I will follow those yes signals and I will follow them enthusiastically and without trying to ever analyze like Rumi Rumi said do not analyze enthusiasm. I won’t analyze enthusiasm. I won’t ask questions, I won’t try to explain it, I won’t try to make it all be logical and linear and make sense, I will follow the path of inspiration. Because I’ve seen where that gets me in life. And while my brain is a really good one, and I’ve gotten really far in life on hard effort and hard work, the transcendent experiences of building business, the transcendent moments, when I’ve had someone hand me a check for millions of dollars, and it wasn’t hard. 

The seasons of my life, which now I only live this way where I get up, I get excited to get up in the morning to do the work. That’s the work that’s before me because I get to work with the best people on the planet, doing rendezvousing with them while they’re in their zone of genius. And I’m in my zone of genius for the benefit of all. Yeah, I’ll do it for great money. I’ll be there. Right? 

All of those times, didn’t come about through my hard work, my heart effort, my might, my making, figuring it all out and making it all happen and going so hard that there’s nothing of me left. Those moments came from just taking them naturally. And feeling that step that lit up before me step by step, day by day, week by week, quarter by quarter, month by month, year by year, letting things take the time they take and Oh, yeah. Bird, by Bird. 

So we give thanks to Anne Lamott for that, you know, visual device of bird by bird, and I give thanks to you too, for listening for co-creating this sort of new season of awakening for all of us for this collective. 

So if you got something good feeling to you out of this video, please like it and share it and subscribe to me on whatever channel you’re on. Always feel free to go to soultour.com/signup as well as get on our free newsletter list and we’ll invite you into some deeper experiences to work with me and to be in our energy over the coming weeks and months and years. 

So I love you. This is Tara-Nicholle Kirke, The Metaphysician from SoulTour, keep your head up and your heart out.

Tara-Nicholle Kirke, MA, Esq.
The Metaphysician
Founder + CEO of SoulTour

P.S.: Want more like this? Become a SoulTour subscriber for just $11 a month.

@taranichollekirke on FB | TW | IG | LI

I just got back home from the Atlantic’s In Pursuit of Happiness summit where I taught a session. 

And we had this very interesting realization deep into having promoted the session that my session was not streamed, you actually had to be in the room to see it. But I know a lot of you came in and we’re trying to see it and trying to figure out what was happening. 

So what I thought I would do for today’s transformation Tuesday is an encore of the talk that I gave yesterday at the Atlantic’s in pursuit of happiness Summit, it was called Daily Rituals of the Radically fruitful and it’s brief. So but it’s good. So buckle up. 

All right, so Radically Fruitful, is the name. It’s the way we talk about work at SoulTour. 

It’s the way I’ve talked about my own work for a really long time. As some of you know, I have three children who are neurodivergent, with a huge age gap in between, I have like, now a couple of homes in a couple of places. I have two businesses sold to her and I own 9Round Kickboxing studio at Lake Merritt in Oakland, California, 132, East 12.

You know, I write books, I have lots of stuff, lots of stuff going on. And at this stage, I’m working about 30 hours a week, maybe a little bit more a little bit less than weeks. 

But Radically Fruitful is the way I talk about and think about work. And it rejects the old idea of productivity. Originally, Radically Fruitful is also the name of a corporate program we’re starting at SoulTour. We’re looking for pilot partners right now. 

And it very organically developed out of the work we’ve done with over 50,000 individual people, smart, successful people who came to us because they were hiding their light or they were holding themselves back they have chronic patterns of feeling unfulfilled or at work. 

And in particular, wondering if there was more out there than than this being pulled in all directions, unclear about who they really were and exactly what they want out of life. 

Many of them really stuck feeling that terrible feeling that their work equals their worth, which is a very short path to feeling like work is very empty. 

So we believe that we can transform entire companies and industries and maybe the entire institution of work by leaping out of this paradigm shifting out of a paradigm leaping out of the paradigm that says humans are resources that should perform, conform and produce to be of worth. Instead, we want to leap into we want to take everyone with us into this energy where we create in our work at 50 to 500 times that fruitfulness as we used to, because we radically accept and we radically align with the natural ways creation happens in our world. 

And we naturally we radically accept and radically aligned to the way humans work, including and especially their own unique spirit, their own unique soul, their own unique callings, their own unique genius. 

So if you’ve listened to me talk for long at all, you know that I’m a real big fan of naming the elephant in the room. That’s kind of my jam. 

So in the talk yesterday, I had a slide at this stage that said it was a quote from Drew Carey. It says, Drew Carey, the comedian. Yes. It says, Oh, you hate your work. There’s a club for that. It’s called everybody and we meet in the bar. 

All right, so the elephant in the room of work right now is that the pandemic didn’t just change work conditions. It created a spiritual crisis within the souls of humans. 

Many many people thought about their own mortality contemplated their own death for the first time maybe ever time to do the things that you’ve always wanted to do started to feel really, really short. 

And people started to ask themselves the very appropriate question. Why am I spending so many of the precious moments of my life doing shit I can’t stand with in toxic, you know, company cultures? 

And that’s why we’ve seen the great resignation, which I think we should be calling the great recalibration. And, you know, to harken back to The Drew Carey, quote, you hate your work. There’s a club for that. It’s called everyone and we meet in the bar at six. Like, Yo, why are we okay with this? Why are we as employee employees are not okay with it? That’s been clear. 

But why are employers okay with it? Why are companies okay with this? I think that we’ve grown out we’re like the frog in the pot collectively. We’ve grown okay with this because we don’t know what the option is. And there is an option. 

So if you’ve ever read any poems from the Lebanese poet, Khalil Gibran, his masterwork was called the Prophet. It’s beautiful. It’s long. It’s worth reading. It’s it’s like a book almost length. But there’s just one section he has called on work. And there’s just one mic drop in that one section, where he says, and I know, work is love made visible. Work is love made visible. 

So all what I see happening right now in the workplace is a bunch of people out here trying to make changes on the surface, not realizing that all these alignment changes trying to align to a new way require first paradigm change, require first a new a vision change, right? What are we can recalibrating to? And I think what we should be recalibrating to in terms of our vision for work is from required to inspired. 

Think about your children. Think about the energy that they have, when you give them a list of shit they have to do that they don’t want to do versus when they’re inspired to do something because they either just like doing it. Or because it’s part it’s a step on the journey to something else that they’re inspired to do. 

So if we’re going to shift as a culture as a workplace culture from required to inspired, we have to get okay with the real, real real, which is that people are not cogs to be optimized. 

They have souls and spirits and conditioning, and their lives are sacred. So their work should be to the precious moments of their work, life should be to All right, so I am here. 

I was at the Atlantic’s conference, to ask the question, what would be possible for us if we could even take a step toward making this shift? 

What would be possible is what I’m calling radically fruitful, it would be possible for us to become radically fruitful as individuals and as teams as organizations? 

And the cornerstone of being a Radically Fruitful human is ritual. It’s a ritual. So I am talking about behavior change, that builds the practice of taking a sacred pause, so that you can stop reacting. 

Tap back into your natural strengths and powers and realign the work you’re doing and the way you’re working. And the thoughts you’re thinking and the words you’re saying and the words you’re typing off your fingertips. 

Side note, don’t send that email, Johnson that email. That’s for some somebody heard that and knows that it was for them. 

So we need to realign those things with our own unique zones of genius. And all rituals are just the difference between a habit and a ritual. 

A habit is just something you do mindlessly because you’ve trained your you’ve domesticated your brain into doing it, and that’s appropriate for some things. A ritual is something you do that brings higher meaning, or magic, or delight. That’s maybe illogical and not even, you know, linear, but is beautiful, into your experience. 

A ritual is like a frame you can put around the thing you do that marks this moment as special in different not mundane. So I shared with them really high level four daily rituals of the radically fruitful, the first of which is creators hour, which is the daily ritual that I teach and most of my programs actually guide my students through Do it four days a week, at sorry, six days a week, there are four parts to the creator’s our ritual. The first is sitting meditation if you want to, but problem with meditation is that people think there’s a right and wait right and wrong way to do it. 

So sitting is to just sit still and dial down the pace of your thoughts, maybe 10, or 20%, is all you need at first, then we do free writing. And I’m going to double click on free writing. Because if there were only one portion of the four-part creators, our ritual that you could do, it should be free writing.

And by that I just mean brain dump onto the page, do it however you want to do it. Write it longhand in a journal, do it in a Google doc doesn’t even do it in notes on your phone, whatever works for you. 

But the idea here is to first get out all of your past grudges and grievances, and all of your future anxieties, fears, things you’re dreading, and even things you’re excited about. Right? 

When you get that on the page. And this on the page you come in, you naturally come back into you’re very, very powerful right now, right? And the other idea for this or objective for this practice is to turn off your inner censor your inner editor, your inner critic for just a predictable amount of time every day. 

What I find in teaching these is that often people have these very inspired, you know, divine downloads, golden threads of ideas, moments of clarity, answers to questions they’ve been asking, will just come out naturally unbidden, without trying, after they clear all that other stuff out of their minds. All right, then. 

So the creators, our ritual, the daily ritual is sitting, it is writing, then we do declarations or affirmations. And that’s a spectrum. Some people, you know, depending on where their spiritual preferences lie, some people go, this is prayer and declarations and affirmations. For some people. It’s just kind of declarations. For some people. It’s like reading their goals. For some people, it’s all of them. 

And then after we do daily declarations, we do some form of physical movement. And this is not a workout. It’s a purpose. They are prescriptive little doses of physical movement with that are designed and proven to get your chakras your energy, your creative powers turned on for the day. So if you’d like to see kind of what one of those looks like, Google The Five Tibetans, it is a five-part sort of its five individual yoga postures really is what it is that you do in these, like repetitions and an intentional sequence that will turn your chakras on and once you start doing it, you know, it works because you know what happens? The day you stop, you’re like, “Whoa, I better do my Tibetans tomorrow.” 

All right, so that’s creators hour, we’ve talked about free writing. And then I’ll talk about surfing the rug. 

Okay, so in like the Buddhist therapeutic addiction world, there’s a practice called surfing the urge, which is about surfing the urge of your addictive, crazy cravings. 

Well, I have translated that for you all into a practice we call surfing the dog. All right, because it is my observation that the fear of unwanted outcomes and the fear of unwanted emotions. And the fear of unwanted criticism is responsible for an entirely wild amount of the drama that occurs for people at work within them and between people. 

So surfing the rug is just a way to start educating people about what to expectation management, when you start practicing good boundaries when you start having hard conversations when you start upskilling in this way so that you can be radically fruitful, you’re going to have fear arise. 

So people need to know that fear is like a wave that they can serve. It’s not a thing you have to react to or stop doing what you were doing that sparked the fear. It is a wave it starts small, it builds it crescendos and then it dies down and all of that wave will happen it will go away. 

Even if you never change anything about the path that you were on. Even if you go ahead and take the intellectual or creative or business risky we’re gonna take so surfing the dog is a daily ritual of the radically fruitful. 

Alright, the last two I’m going to talk about together segment intending which you’ve probably if you’ve heard any Abraham Hicks in your life, you’ve probably heard that phrase. 

If you’re, you know a Bible person, you’ve heard that verse about writing the vision making it plain. If you’ve heard me talking lately, you’ve heard me starting to talk about Cameron Herold’s book, Vivid Vision. It’s kind of the same thing you know. So on the playground, all other parents are like Be careful, be careful to their kids. And I’m like being intentional and then be intentional. What’s your vision? I’m asking her that all the time. What’s your vision? What’s your plan, but more vision? What do you want to have happen? 

That’s all segment intending is, every time you shift from one segment of time to another, and the segments can be whatever is meaningful to you, if you shift from year to year, quarter to quarter, month to month, week to week, day to day meeting, to meeting hour to hour, literally, every time you shift, you have an opportunity to define your intentions for the time segment that you’re coming into. Alright. And when you do that, I don’t mean this in a way that’s like, trying to be manipulative of what you want other people to do in that time, what is the experience you want to have in that time? Right? 

When you do that, you start to pre-pave that set coming segment of time for the outcomes that you desire in a couple of different ways. In one way, just by focusing your energy and attention in the direction that you want it to go. That does a lot. And you find it when you start segment intending regularly. 

If you’re also like journaling daily, free writing daily, and reflecting on how it goes, you quickly see oh, wait, other people are acting differently. Like she came to the meeting after acting differently than she used to act. Now, people are like, “Oh, magic woowoo.” No, there’s literally I mean, it is mannequin oboe. Yes. And also, there is in neurobiology, there is a reality called mirror neurons. So whatever energy you bring in your brain, in your physical gray matter, brain to a meeting, or to a quarter or to your team, they will experience mirroring of that in a neuronal level, not even just the energetic, vibrational, spiritual level. But both. All right. 

The other way segment intending works really well is that it sort of gives you a chance to gracefully spaciously in a non-time scarcity way, to work out some of the inner kinks to work out some of the inner conflicts, misalignments needed resources that are missing. It allows you to kind of get out of being that lever-pulling director of the universe that has to make every single thing happen on their own. 

And instead, you can start to use my fifth daily ritual to Radically Fruitful, which is the alignment inquiry. And the alignment inquiry is just this. It’s asking yourself this question I want, here’s what I want. Here’s why I want it. Here’s what I intend for this segment. What’s not in alignment? Right? And that’s a powerful question to start realigning. 

And then we can get into way more system, we do get into way more systematic ways of doing alignment work. But you can do get really far in aligning everything about your business and your life, just by asking that single question, what’s not in alignment. 

So I just invite you to join me in the knowing that Christ every crisis presents an opportunity, a portal, a turning point. It presents an opportunity for you as an individual and for us as a collective to change direction and to do it by this by allowing the disruption that’s already been happening to our personal mythologies, to our mythology about what work looks like and means and feels like allowing that to change our course with intention. 

So those are the Daily Rituals and the Radically Fruitful.

Head up + heart out,

Tara-Nicholle Kirke, MA, Esq.
The Metaphysician
Founder + CEO of SoulTour

P.S.: Want more like this? Become a SoulTour subscriber for just $11 a month.

@taranichollekirke on FB | TW | IG | LI

We are here on the auspicious occasion of our weekly transformation Tuesday lesson. And today I want to talk to you about how to get receptive, how to get receptive, how to get out of that idea that you have to pull every lever and direct the entire universe and do all the hardest possible work for anything to ever work out for you, and how to get into receptive mode starting super, super small. 

So I’m actually going to tell you several stories. I will tell you a story that I call “The parable of the dress” as the main story. So that should be a little signal to some of you, because people have been asking me to tell this story.

So I’m gonna tell the story. And I’m just gonna preface it with this reality of our world and my household, which is that people give us stuff. 

People give us stuff everywhere we go in this world.

I was literally on a trip with a friend and in Croatia, of all places. 

And this old, beautiful old woman ran out of her shop and handed me a piece of fruit. 

And my friend was like, “what is happening?” 

You don’t understand. This is literally what happens to me everywhere in this world. 

And it’s what happens to Londyn, who’s only four, everywhere in this world. 

Wonderful things just chase us down and people give them to us. 

And I’m very loose in how I hold things in general. Like I believe in practicing the spiritual strategy of Buddhist detachment from things, sometimes things break, or leave your possession and often they that is, actually I believe that everything is always working out in the favor and direction of our highest good. So it’s okay when things leave. 

But again, sometimes it’s really tempting to get into this mindset that you have to pull every lever in the universe, you have to direct the universe, you have to do every single logical linear step of creating every single thing that you create. 

And I’ve realized that many of us still are in that, even though this is a time of great creation, or it wants to be a time of great rebirth and renewal and reinvention, as long as you’re still in that old paradigm of you have to pull every lever, things will actually be hard. 

So while it is true that you have great, mighty, strong human effort within you, it is also true that you’ll get the best results in your life, you will have the most joyful life and you will get to have the most prosperous results in your life in a numeric goal way, financial goal way.

When you get your foundations right, you get those delicious, divine download of a vision for how you want things to be in a general way. And then you get into alignment with that. 

And you just start showing up in doing the piece of that that is in your zone of genius. And you watch what else happens, you watch what else lines up and lights up, you watch who else shows up.

So it’s really important to remind yourself in this season, I’m here to remind y’all today in this season, that you’re not in this world alone. 

Whatever your religious beliefs may be, there is Source spirit, All That Is. 

And there are also 8 billion other people on the planet. Many of whom would love to co-create whatever it is that you are creating. Sometimes they will participate in your creations without even wanting to, without even knowing they are. 

So you got to allow some space for that to happen. Whether it’s your children, whether it’s your clients, whether it’s your employers, whether it’s just your neighbors, we’re all co-creating a world together. 

And so if you get intentional first, and break your paradigms, break your low expectations of the world, and by that, I don’t just mean low expectations of yourself.

In fact, one of the most pervasive, strong, hindering inner critic patterns that I see in my caseload and my client load, and my clients are basically only very smart, already very successful people.

Their inner critics often hinder them by having them set very, very high goals with very low self-compassion. 

So if you have these goals, but you also have a paradigm or a belief system that says you have to do it all yourself, not only does that paradigm block all the help that’s actually all around you right now that you can’t see or energize. It’s also evidence. It’s also evidence of a deeper, usually a deeper, conditioned response, often a trauma-conditioned response that says, you have to do all the hard things on your own to get love, or to prove that you deserve your spot on the planet, or to get approval, or for good things to happen or for unwanted catastrophe, things not to happen. 

So this is where I really depart from the Love and Light Brigade that will tell you you don’t have to, you can’t get to the bottom of your shadows, you don’t need to think about your unwanted beliefs or inner wiring. 

The reality is that people can tell you to think different thoughts all you want about the world and have higher expectations of life all you want. But unless and until you address those conditioned patterns, you can’t even see them and they’ll run your life, they will be very active in your energies that you’re broadcasting. 

Often, that’s what creates unwanted patterns or especially unwanted self-sabotage patterns. 

So, you know, one of the teachers that I appreciate her work and actually just did a workshop with her at Esalen recently, Laura Day. She’s a creation teacher. And she talks about the strategy I call a spiritual strategy of reality tales, where you sort of orient to what you desire in your life and then you start every day a practice of writing the hypothetical, kind of beautiful, fantastical, almost non-logical nonlinear, the universe surprises you kind of ways this reality could come to pass. 

And so I love the strategy of reality tales, I find that with some people who’ve really had that condition trauma response of expecting that they have to do it all themselves a hard way, sometimes it’s helpful. 

Sometimes those people find it difficult to do reality tales in a way that actually hypothetical and fantasy and breaks open some new possibilities for how things could come to pass in their lives. 

So often, what I like to do is, look back, look back in your life, even at the smallest examples, or stories or memories of when everything just lined up in was perfect place perfect time moment, would, the times when literally people chased you down in the streets of Croatia to give you things, the times when other people showed up and help was really on the way and you didn’t make it happen. 

So I often will teach the strategy of reality tails with a bunch of other spiritual strategies that help empower you to even use reality tools including, like I said, reveling in your wins. 

Including the strategy of help was on the way, looking back and reflecting on when help was on the way, and including some of the strategies that are going to come up as I tell you the story today. 

And the reason I was initially reminded to tell this story was that the reminder came to me in this series of events. 

So Friday night, I was at my club writing, I had to sit, I was in the flow I was writing. And there was like a conference at the club, which is usually pretty mellow in the area I was at on Friday nights, very conducive to getting in the flow. 

But not that night. 

Because the area I usually sit in was like blocked off for this private event. There were just a lot of people there, the people were milling around leading new people to the building. 

And so I normally was like, grab a glass of champagne from the restaurant and sit in right but I didn’t because the restaurant was super busy. People were there. 

And I was still in the flow. So I was just writing but I was like thinking about that glass of champagne. 

Now I was just writing and I was like, let’s see, I don’t feel like going in there right now because I want to break the flow. 

So as I’m writing, one of the hotel managers who I’ve never met before walks up to me and sets two glasses of champagne down on my table. 

And he’s like, “I just thought you might need things.”

And I later told a friend about it. She was like, “what is happening? How does this happen to you?”

I’m like, it’s fine to practice this with the small things, just practice noticing it, when something really small was on your mind and somebody like gifts it to you, practice noticing it. 

Because if you can do that with things that are small, because you played a role in that, first of all, and once you realize that you can do that with small things, you graduate with small things to which you have no attachment or resistance, you gradually start to learn that you can tune yourself to be this detached unresisted flower of all kinds of energies. 

So it’s not just me, Londyn has this experience too while we were walking, and I’m going to use this as another mini parable as I get to the big parable. 

So we’re walking down the street the other day in our neighborhood. 

There’s a beautiful flower shop. When Londyn takes two steps, looks at the woman and the woman hands her this beautiful Peony already cracked and hands it to her. 

And we continue to take a couple of steps and Londyn was like, “why did she give me this flower? I don’t want this flower.”

And I said to her, “Londyn, when people give us gifts, we receive them. We receive gifts. If you don’t want it, you’re welcome to give it to someone else. But this is how we do in this house”. 

Me and my house, we received gifts. 

And there was a gentleman standing in an open store who overheard this and he stopped me and he was like, “that is very, very wise. I heard what you just told her and that is very wise.” 

And we started to talk about it. 

And he said something like, “you know, I’m not a good receiver. I’m not good at receiving.” 

And I told him this is one way you practice getting good at receiving big and small, start with small, but just make a rule for yourself, a practice for yourself, put yourself in the energetic posture that when people give you gifts, you receive them. 

And I definitely had to build the habit of receptivity. What a beautiful phrase, huh? 

So this is one way that you begin to shift into the paradigm where blessings are chasing you down in every area of your life all the time and you start to receive them, is where you start to become but just one component, and in the fulfillment of your own potential on your own sacred contracts with ease. 

So you’re not doing it all on your own. 

And you practice with the small things and you practice remembering the small times. 

That’s the spiritual strategy. 

Receiving your gifts is a spiritual strategy. 

And reveling in your wins is another spiritual strategy. Here are a couple more that are relevant to this. Mantras:. 

I’m in love with everyone and everyone is in love with me. 

Try that and watch how it changes your life. 

Try that and watch what comes up for you as you say that because there may be some paradigm awareness and belief system awareness that you need to have to dissolve in order to get back in alignment with love as the dominant energy underlying your interpersonal relationships and once you rewire that watch who shows up in your life. 

Watch who shows up in your life. 

Watch how the troublemakers in your life change the way that they act now. 

So here’s the story of the dress. The parable of the dress.

Well, the dress I wore, this dress on my recent photoshoot:

I’m wearing this dress seven, eight years on after I got it. But I want to tell you this story because it’s really beautiful. 

Seven or eight years ago, I was in New York City on a weekend enroute to France. 

So I’m walking down Fifth Avenue in New York City and I have not bought any couture clothing at that time in my life. Because y’all it’s all Pugs and you know gold things now, but I was a teenage mom, I was a teenage mom from Bakersfield, California so, don’t get it twisted. 

It wasn’t always Pugs and gold stuff everywhere. 

So in New York City walking down Fifth Avenue, I saw the Dior store, I saw this beautiful dress in this store and it was like not glitzy fancy glam. It just was like, for me. It just was for me. It looked like it was for me. 

It was like a Tara-shaped dress. 

And it was also Sunday at whatever time the store was closed. 

I remember seeing it and alerting to it and then kind of going, it’s not for me because the store is closed. 

So I kept trekking. 

The next day I was in Paris enroute to Cannes because I am a marketer, but used to be a marketer, I would attend the Cannes interactive Advertising Festivals. 

So I’m in Paris, I’m in the Galleries Lafayette, it’s like a mall. It’s a beautiful mall, but it’s a mall, I’m wearing Lululemon. 

I’m a black chick with braids in my hair, wearing yoga pants. And it was right around the time when you were hearing all these black women’s celebrities were having these really outrageous experiences of discrimination in high-end stores. But it just was that time. 

So I’m walking in the mall. And I see the Dior store. And I’m like, I just escaped the bullet of not having to figure out the finances and whatever buying this dress. 

So I was walking actually opposite the side of the corridor from the store. I just didn’t even want to go into the store. And I was kind of glancing in the window seeing they didn’t have the dress in the window. Anyway, it was great. So it wasn’t tempting. 

So I’m walking down away at the mall and the shopkeeper, the woman who’s managing the store at Dior, is in the doorway. And she sees me and she gestures to me. She’s like, “you come here.” 

So I come over, and she says, “Can I get you a glass of champagne?” 

Yes, and not all my stories begin with champagne. But this one? So I’m like, “Sure.” 

So she hands me a glass of champagne and she says, “ma’am, I’ll bring you some dresses.” And mind you I’m literally wearing workout clothes and tennis shoes. I don’t carry prestige handbags or any of that. It’s just not my style of bag. 

But she just knew. So she grabs me and gives me champagne and asks me if she can bring me some dresses. And the dress that she brings me is the same dress I’ve just seen the day before work on Fifth Avenue. It’s actually the same. 

The dress she handed me that day without asking me what my size was, without asking me what style or what I did was, nothing. 

The dress she handed me I now own. 

It is the dress I brought home. It was the most expensive piece of clothing I had bought in my life to that time. 

And I put the dress on and it just was like somebody sewed it on me and made it for me. 

Also the dress is like a tank. Like you put this dress on and you’re like this dress will if I can stay in the size for it for 40 years, this dress will last for years. It is just beautifully made. 

Now, not only did she bring me the black dress, she also brought me a white version of the dress, which I didn’t even know existed because it wasn’t in the window when I saw the dress in New York. 

She brings me the black and the white one and I’m like, “Am I really about to buy both these dresses, because we’re talking about like a mortgage payment and a half purred for us here.” And I was kind of in a point of time in my own spiritual work where I was practicing the spiritual strategy of being lavished with myself after many decades and an upbringing of being very restrictive with myself. So I was like, Yeah, I can just buy the white dress that had a little smudge of makeup on it. 

And I thought at that price point that I can’t justify, is like buying this dress and someone else’s makeup on it. Like buying this dress and then having to go get a clean that I can get with somebody great. Like, thanks, God, you just made that decision for me. I don’t need this one too. 

So I tell her, “I’m not I can’t stress a little smudge on it. I’m really not feeling it. I do love it. I would get it otherwise, but I can’t I And oh, by the way, I’m leaving town tomorrow, going to Cannes.” 

She says, “just give me a second.” So she goes VPP Boo boop, comes back. Now she makes a call. She comes back, she says, “there’s one more dress this white dress in your science, it’s in Switzerland. We can have it and can day after tomorrow, will you still be there?” 

And I’m like, am I about to do this real thing? The answer was yes, I absolutely did. So by the time I got to Kent, to the hotel, I was going to end up staying in Cannes, because actually I also had a really bad Airbnb experience. And then ended up in this beautiful hotel. And I had let the dealer store pick in Paris, weren’t what my plan change was. 

So I checked into my hotel, and the manager of the hotel comes down with this huge white box that just says Dior on the top. And a business card from the can. France, south of France, can do your store manager with his handwritten note on it, I still have the card. 

Because I still and he hands me this tank of a dress. And I still have the card and I still tell the story because I don’t wear the dress often. 

But when I wear them people are like, “what is this dress? Where is this word? What is this dress that’s they’re a little transcendent.” And maybe some of it is the making of the dress. And some of it is the energy of the experience through which these dresses came to me. 

But I keep the card as a reminder, I keep the card as a reminder that I want every day to feel like this. 

I want every day to feel like this for me where everyone in this world is conspiring to chase after you and find you and link you up with the just right things, the most delicious plate things for you. 

We’re all your blessings are chasing you down in every area of your life all the time, where you’re always having these wins, and you’re always reveling in them. 

I think life should be magical. 

And I think a magical life is just a series of magical days, right? 

So these are the spiritual strategies of magical days, receiving your gifts.

I am in love with everyone and everyone is in love with me. 

Every person on this planet is a link in the chain of my highest good reveling in your wins having Buddhist detachment. 

I could have gotten upset that the store wasn’t open or you know, bummed that I missed out on it in New York, but the truth is, like I know if everything is always working out for you, you never miss out on anything that is yours ever. 

So the energy, I want to invite you to just get into the energy of the story, let it sit, you know, plant some seeds within you, when things feel hard for you, I want you to return to that the energy of your elevated lick the plate moments and memories of when abundance came to you with ease. 

And it can be a tiny small thing, it can be the time somebody gave you a free glass of champagne. It could be just anything, remember the times when everything really worked out for you. 

So if this opens up anything in your spirit, or if you’d like to have more magical days and more magical moments and magical days that lead to magical life, just take a moment to like the video or to share the video or to subscribe to my videos on this platform that we’re on right now. 

And if you really want to start joyfully doing the deep work of shifting your paradigms so that you become more of a magnet instead of a marketer, that’s a thing I’ve been trying on with people. You don’t have to market yourself all the time to become a magnet. And there’s a way to do that. 

There’s no but it’s deep work and it’s paradigm level work. Go to soultour.com/subscribe and get on the list for my welcome to your SoulTour newsletter, we will keep you in the loop. 

Because we are about to reopen my school of spiritual strategy after this deep excavation and remodeling and rebranding work and we’ve been creating a thing that is nothing less than art. 

And I’m about to start doing some orientations to give you a little tour through the new school of spiritual strategy. 

So get on my lists and follow me and do all that stuff. Sign up and share this. I don’t want you to miss a thing. I promise you what’s coming is a whole magical mystical metaphysical, have a smart and strategic and intentional vibe that will make your life better like now, today, not someday. 

Keep your head up and your heart out. I will see you soon.

Tara-Nicholle Kirke, MA, Esq.
The Metaphysician
Founder + CEO of SoulTour

P.S.: Want more like this? Become a SoulTour subscriber for just $11 a month.

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Have you ever had a friend who fell in love with a new boyfriend and then just disappeared? She went on a date a few weeks ago and … you just don’t see them no more? 

That’s probably how my friends feel about me and my relationship with Mexico. 

So suffice to say that I’ve been spending a lot of time in Mexico lately. La Londyn and I are moving down for the summer… and maybe beyond. 

But I’ve noticed a fascinating pattern in how other people react to this plan. In almost every conversation I have with a friend or relative about our move, one question arises. 

They ask “Are you fluent in Spanish?”

And I answer: Nope!  

I understand Spanish really well, as I grew up in a town that is 70% Mexican.

But my spoken Spanish is…malo. 

It’s really bad. Until I’m there a couple of weeks and it’s really good.

And when I say this, I watch the alarm creep up on the face of my friends, as they try to put themselves in my shoes. 

And then I share what I know to be true, which is this: The only way I’ll ever get fluent is to move to a Spanish-speaking country. 

I have lots of friends who speak Spanish right here in the United States of Oakland. 

But they don’t speak Spanish with me. Their English is far better than my Spanish, and it’s not their job to practice with me. 

So once I decided to get serious and get fluent… and once I decided I wanted that for Londyn, too, my next steps became clear. 

Not only would we move part-time (to start) to Mexico, we would NOT be moving to Baja or any of the other resort areas where you could live the rest of your life without a word of Spanish. 

I started looking for a town which had the creature comforts I love… but did NOT have a large American expat community. 

I started looking for a place with a preschool that would let Londyn drop in for a couple of months at a time, and get fluent in the process. 

I started looking for a place with great internet and good hotels and resorts and other collaborators for the retreats I run with my individual coaching clients, and with our groups coaching members at SoulTour. 

And, you know what? 

I found it. 

A nature-focused, Spanish-dominant community in Mexico with 60,000 people, a single American, 3 country clubs, lots of horses and a Tesla charging station, all within a day’s travel from our home in Oakland. 

And I found it with a few Google searches. I didn’t know a single soul in town. Shit, I didn’t know a single soul who had even been to the town. 

But I geared up and we flew down anyway, just to do a vibe check. Put our bodies in the place and see how we felt. 

I set the intention: Spirit, show us the way. Let us learn what we’re here to learn. Let the places we should go woo us. 

And I paved the journey with this one: Everything is always working out for us. 

And I lightened things up with this one: Ya veremos. (We shall see!)

So we checked into our Airbnb. And the locals rolled out the red carpet. The schools rolled out the red carpet. The neighbors. The local shopkeepers and business owners. 

People opened warm arms. Encouraged us to move down. 

They invited us to their homes for dinner. Gave us their numbers for play dates. Told us why they loved their neighborhoods and we should consider it, too. Made space for Londyn in their gymnastics classes. 

They enthusiastically offered business partnerships. 

And all this was possible because we were willing to go without really being “ready”, in terms of our Spanish levels.

But what if I had imposed the false prerequisite on myself, of being fluent in Spanish in advance?

What if I had decided to get a one-time-a-week Spanish tutor and wait to make a move until I was fully fluent? 

Trust me when I say, we’d still be WAITING, for some years to come.

Because fluency without immersion is nearly impossible. (That’s a word for someone.)

Fluency without immersion is not a thing, Brilliant One.

As with so many House Rules of the Universe, most people think about being ready to make a big life change backwards. 

You don’t get good at Spanish so you can move to Mexico. 

You move to Mexico and that’s how you get good at Spanish. 

You can’t always just sit in a room and cook up a 20 year Perfect Life Plan and count on getting crystal clear on your life’s purpose before you start doing your dreams. 

It’s EXACTLY the other way around: You start taking a step toward doing your dreams and that’s how you kickstart the process of getting clear on who you really are and what you really want out of life, why you’re really here.

It’s not even possible to get really good at the things you want to be able to do before you start doing them. 

You can only get good at them by doing them. 

And along the way you realize that the delectable life starts when you stop caring whether you’re good at those things are just do them because following your Inner Guidance feels so freaking good. 

This is a story about how some willingness-es are accelerating my own journey to be my Big Self and do my Big Dreams before I die: 

… the willingness to get comfortable being uncomfortable

… the willingness to expose yourself to the possibility of some unwanted plot twists and turns

… the willingness to trust that it’ll all work out anyway

… the willingness to surrender to a little disorientation and untethering and the certainty that I will make millions of mistakes along the way. 

Now it’s your turn. 

And here are a few prompts to get you started.

First, my Signature Breakthrough Question: What is it that you’re afraid to do… and that you would LOVE to do?

Second: What would be possible for you if you were willing to be uncomfortable, make millions of mistakes along the way and shed the “false prerequisite” story you’ve been telling yourself?

And finally: What would it FEEL LIKE for you to feel that psychologically safe in your own skin and in the world, that you could trust that everything is always working out for you and take the everyday risks required to live an exuberant, succulent, lick-the-plate, no-hesitation, guided by Inner Wisdom, shackles-off life?

(Side note: Every program at SoulTour is proven to help with this.)

I’m going to reopen SoulTour’s School of Spiritual Strategy soon, so I’d love to know what would feel like a breakthrough for you. Feel free to hit reply and let me know what comes up for you when you hear these prompts.

Head up + heart out,

Tara-Nicholle Kirke, MA, Esq.
The Metaphysician
Founder + CEO of SoulTour

P.S.: Want more like this? Become a SoulTour subscriber for just $11 a month.

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Dear Brilliant One,

Surely you’ve heard or read this quote:

“Whatever you can do or dream you can, begin it. 

Boldness has genius, power, and magic in it.” 

—Johann Wolfgang von Goethe

This is accurate. 

Boldly making a move in the direction of your dreams, big or small, is something like pressing the play button on a series of cosmic programs that play in your consciousness and in the world around you automatically. That’s the thing about a program: You don’t make every step of it happen. It’s a series of preset steps that play automatically.

And in the case of these boldness “programs”, you take the first bold step and that sparks a sequence of opportunities and events that multiply your personal actions and effort BY A LOT, in ways you couldn’t even imagine if you tried. 

One bold move activates “the genius program” within you and all around you, causing you and others to receive the guidance of Infinite Intelligence to be in the right place at the right time doing the right thing to evoke even more genius from each other.

One bold move in alignment with your sacred dreams and contracts activates “the power program”, causing you to be able to energize opportunities and turn your ideas to real, tangible realities with far more efficiency than anything else you’ve ever tried to do before.

One bold move is like pressing play on “the magic program”, where you find yourself able to go from success to success and from glory to glory under grace, your ships coming in over calm seas, the phone ringing and your inbox crammed to overflowing with opportunities you couldn’t even have imagined in your wildest dreams.

But the genius program (#1), the power program (#2) and the magic program (#3) are just one side of the story.

I want to give you a more comprehensive picture of the programs that will begin to play when you make a bold move beyond your comfort zone, so you don’t get blindsided.

Boldness Program #4: The alignment program. When you take even a single, bold step to be your Big Self or do your Big Dream, anything in your values, identity, beliefs, daily habits, calendar, family life, financial life, environment or systems that is inconsistent with that deep down dream will start to get verrrrrry uncomfortable unless and until you make a change. 

That’s why true, deep alignment with your sacred contracts and your True, Sacred Self often feels like all hell breaking loose in your life before it feels like heaven on earth. 

TRUE alignment often feels like a cascade of crises and losses before it feels like freedom, wholeness, happiness or success.

So catch this principle: The alignment program is very uncomfortable. But it’s also very necessary.

Because we’re human and because comfort zones are called what they’re called for a reason, most of us spend a decade or two fighting to stay inside our comfort zones by trying to downsize the dream instead of having the hard conversations and executing the necessary endings to get ourselves and our lives into alignment with our own dreams. 

That’s why I was surprised, when I gave up the inner tug-of-war, resigned myself to the very BIGGEST version of my own personal dream and found every element and area of my life to fall into alignment. It was wildly easier and way more delicious to be my Big Self and do my BIG Dream than to play the role of a small, culturally-compliant shadow version of my self, and it will be for you, too. 

Boldness Program #5: The Fear Program.  

Your whole life, you’ve been taught to hold back from doing things to avoid unwanted consequences. 

This makes sense when you’re a little kid learning not to run into the street. 

But over a lifetime, this reward-punishment conditioning becomes warped and hardened into what I call The Fear Program, and it activates any time you do ANYTHING to get out of your culturally approved lane, or anything that makes you feel exposed or vulnerable to unwanted consequences.  

The Fear Program is at the root of all self-sabotage. You want to do your dream, the fear sparks, you hold yourself back to make the fear go away. 

Every bold move in the direction of your dream WILL ACTIVATE the fear program, because they all make you feel exposed and often, doing your dream WILL create at least a few unwanted consequences in the immediate term. 

Because when you enlarge yourself and your life? You WILL make mistakes. You WILL  feel untethered and disoriented. You might even look foolish, be disliked or receive critical feedback on occasion. 

And all of these unwanted things are actually essential milestones on the journey of your awakening soul and your actualizing True, Sacred Self. Because making mistakes, feeling disoriented, hitting your upper limits, becoming okay with looking foolish or being disliked—they are how you build the muscle of risk-taking, the feedback loop of “I’m okay regardless” and the inner sense of psychological safety that allows you to unleash your maximum creative power and potential. 

The first step to escaping the paralyzing influence of The Fear Program is to begin your boldness. When I first started this work in my own life, I followed the advice of Florence Scovel Shinn and made a commitment to always  do the fearless thing. (And I gave myself an A+ if I did that 80% of the time.)

Do the fearless thing. Then, with self-compassion and awareness, tune into how you feel. Feel yourself hit your Upper Limits. Feel the fear. And watch The Fear Program run, WITHOUT letting it run you. 

Do not let it stop you. Do not let it change your course. Engage wholeheartedly with the subjects that scare you. If you have a financial freak-out, look at that. Learn more about money and your own money blocks. If you have a fear of ending up alone, learn about your attachment styles and primal heart wounds and dive deeper. 

Just keep swimming, Brilliant One. And watch the fear dissolve. Eventually. 

Boldness Program #6: The no-regret program. I’d been teaching “always do the fearless thing” as a Spiritual Strategy for years when one of the authors of Freakonomics published a research paper that validated this approach. 

Economist Steven Levitt had people who were stuck on a big life decision—like whether to quit their job, get married or divorced, adopt a kid, move to a new city, etc.—flip a coin and make the decision based on the coin toss. Then he followed up with them to see how satisfied they were with their decision two months and six months later. 

Two months later, people who had kept their lives the same were happy with their decision. But six months later, they wished they had made the big change they’d been considering. And the people who had made a big life change based on the coin toss—the people who had done the fearless thing—they were happy with their decision two months and six months after making it. 

Here’s the thing you learn quickly when you get in the practice of doing the fearless thing: If things don’t work out, you can virtually always make a U-turn. And if you do, you do it with the self-respect of having tried. But if you never give it a chance to play out, your unlived life may very well haunt you, sometimes for generations*. 

In other words, if you’re perseverating on whether to make a big, bold change to your life or not, the answer is yes. If you can do or dream it, just begin it. There is genius, magic—and alignment and fear—and regret-obliterating power in it.

Head up + heart out,

Tara-Nicholle Kirke, MA, Esq.
The Metaphysician
Founder + CEO of SoulTour

*Dr. Jung said that “the greatest burden a child must bear is the unlived life of its parents.” Resonates, doesn’t it? Don’t go out like that.

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An entrepreneur friend and I were chatting the other day about his wonderful but too-long work weeks.

And he made the comment that overwork is a hard habit to break. 

I told him that this is not the season for breaking habits.

Because in THIS season, we—and that includes YOU—you are being called to leap from the paradigms of your small self into being your Big Self and doing your Big Dreams.

And that’s not a leap you can make by breaking habits alone. 

You have to break your identity. 

And by that I mean interrupting your patterns, doing the fearless thing, all the things I mentioned here in Breaking your identity Part I.

But I want to go deeper than that today.

When you’re really ready to break your identity at the level you’ll need to break it to become your Big Self, here’s the mental model you’ll need. Conceptualize what you’re doing this way: 

You need to rebrand yourself to yourself.

Yes, I want you to light Kali’s sacred fire and destroy some shit to create some shit. 

But I also want you to get like Ganesha and INTEGRATE all of who you’ve been and what you’ve learned into the new, spiritually bionic, easeful, thriving identity you begin living into the moment after the destruction takes place. 

In other words, when you break your identity and start shifting into your Big Self, you are not starting from scratch. 

So, sure, I want you to know that you’ll need to embrace your inner Neith and let some of your old ways of being die tonight so you can start weaving a new world to life in the morning. 

But more importantly, I want you to rebrand yourself TO YOURSELF.

I want you to get up while it’s still an hour or so till dawn dawns…

I want you to sit in the stillness and brain-dump all your old grudges and grievances and anxieties about the future onto the pages of your journal…

I want you to let the energetic ambrosia of creative power that swirls through the pre-dawn sky seeking to land in any and every open heart… let it flow to you and through you

I want you to let it inspire a fresh, new vision for your own identity. 

I want you to write one phrase or one dozen pages describing the Big Self you would love to become…

And then I want you to fall madly, wildly, head-over-heels in love with that vision of yourself and your future. 

Fall in love with your own Big Self.

And don’t worry about HOW your Big Self and Big Dreams will come to life. 

Let the Divine handle the how. 

Which is another way of saying: Let the emotional charge of your love for your own Big Self and Big Dreams carry you through the next steps. 

Just stand down for a minute. You don’t have to work harder than anybody else to prevent unwanted things from happening here…

And you don’t have to spin every plate of making your Big Dreams happen, either. 

This is a co-creative process, Brilliant One.

You and the whole entire Universe.

So. What do you do next? 

Well first, stay willing to break some shit. And to burn some shit. Stay willing to integrate some of the ashes and the shit you burned.

Stay in love with the vision. You’ll need that heart—that courage—to dive into the free-floating, scary feeling energy that will arise as you take steps closer to your Big Self and your Big Dreams. You’ll need that courage to stay mindful that what feels like fear wants to transmute into exhilaration at what you’re becoming. 

Stay willing to feel the fear and stay in the place of feeling it and facing it and wholeheartedly engaging with the subject of it, and stay self-compassionate enough to know that the fear sparking means you’re doing it right, 100% of the time. 

Start doing some self-alignment-coaching.

At the beginning of each day, focus on your Big Self vision and ask yourself: 

What’s not in alignment? 

Look at your calendar and ask: 

Is this in alignment? 

In any conversation, consider your words before speaking them and, in that sacred pause, wonder yourself:

Are the words I’m about to speak in alignment with my Big Self? Before you send an email, is this email in alignment with my Big Self? You’ll know the answer.

Or take an hour on Sunday and reflect on where there are mis-alignments you can resolve between your Big Self, your Big Dreams and your values, identity, beliefs, decisions, actions, plans, calendar, expenditures of time and life force and money, relationships, systems, environments. 

What’s in alignment? What’s not in alignment?

As you go, you’ll need to stay aware that there are costs and consequences to becoming your Big Self and doing your Big Dreams.

Some folk may not like Big You. 

Some comfortable payoffs you’ve been getting out of staying small won’t be able to survive in the radiant glow thrown off by the Big You. 

You might have to have some hard conversations with people… or with yourself.

But know this: 

Definitionally, a SoulTour is a transformational journey to be your Big Self and do your Big Dreams.

I will never ask you to do something I haven’t done myself. 

I’ve been doing this inner work and alignment work for the better part of 25 years, and I dwell in the wholeness, joy and radical liberation that’s on the other side of the pain.

Trust me when I say that you WILL love it here, in this world of the wondrous that is just waiting to swing into view for you. 

Behind the scenes, I’ve been radically reinventing my own identity and SoulTour’s, too. I can’t wait to reopen this magically auspicious portal and welcome you to your own SoulTour.

This is a journey.

I’m honored to be your guide.

In the immortal words of the Reverend Dr. Erykah Badu…

Pack light. 🧳💡

Head up + heart out,

P.S.: Want more like this? Become a SoulTour subscriber for just $11 a month.

Tara-Nicholle Kirke, MA, Esq.
The Inner Critic Coach™️
Founder + CEO of SoulTour

@taranichollekirke on FB | TW | IG | LI