UPGRADE is a 3-day recalibration retreat and Self-Mastery workshop, where you will download fresh energy, fresh vision and the master keys to increase your income, influence and intuition starting before you even leave the event.
Plus, you’ll get to spend 3 days with me in a magical place… with magical people.
Head up + heart out,
Tara-Nicholle Kirke, MA, Esq. The Metaphysician Founder + CEO of SoulTour
UPGRADE is a 3-day recalibration retreat and Self-Mastery workshop, where you will download fresh energy, fresh vision and the master keys to increase your income, influence and intuition starting before you even leave the event.
Plus, you’ll get to spend 3 days with me in a magical place… with magical people.
Head up + heart out,
Tara-Nicholle Kirke, MA, Esq. The Metaphysician Founder + CEO of SoulTour
Last year I was on crutches and had a cast on one foot or the other for eighteen weeks.
One-hundred and twenty six days.
A long-misdiagnosed complex illness had wreaked havoc on my bones and connective tissues, causing fractures in my bones and frays and tears to the tendons in my feet.
My then-foot doctor shook her head and told me there was really nothing to do, except injections for the pain. She began managing my expectations, describing how my ankles were in the process of collapsing.
She asked me if Iād ever seen the old women who had very wide ankles and sort of shuffled as they walk, and told me thatās what was happening to me.
Thereās nothing to be done about it, she insisted.
But I, as a metaphysician, knew something that she, as a physician, did not:
I knew that EVERYTHINGā¦ and I mean everything is healable.
I can close my eyes and visualize that day. La doctora describing what she knew to be the total collapse of my tendons.
Me sitting there erecting spiritual protection against that curse.
Me telling her in no uncertain terms: I REJECT THAT.
Me leaving the office and chatting with Spirit about the situation. Normally, I would say something like: Infinite Spirit, show me the way.
But sometimes you have to get aggressive with Source, Beloved.
And thatās what I did that day.
I wrote in my journal: Spirit, reveal to me the answer to this: What would Kobe Bryant do? What would Serena do? What would the doctors do in a money-is-no-object situation, because it is not.
And Spirit complied.
I wonāt tell you the play-by-play of the WILD plot twists and turns and angels unaware, and medical tourism adventures and incredible synchronicities through which my questions were answeredā¦ and continue to be, as I continue to heal.
But I will tell you this: I run 3 miles a day now.
Iām GOOD good now.
I feel like a superhero these days: Physically and energetically and creatively and spiritually.
There are 5 principles from my healing process I want to highlight for you today, Beloved:
You can catch the spiritual lessons of your physical illness andheal itwith medicine at the same time. I learned to move through the world SLOWLY AND GRADUALLY. I learned to let things be easy. I learned to imagine being supported and resourced and helped. I learned the mechanics of getting that help. I learned not to rely on my pain levels to dictate the level of unseen illness in my bodyāor my lifeābecause I have a wildly high tolerance for pain. I learned how to manage my own cellular health and wellbeing with nutrition, movement, and alternative modalities.
And I also learned how to access the leading edge of Western medicine and get it in my veins and my tendons. These are not mutually exclusive.
Healing is an inside job. Iāve had a number of medical moments and treatments that were pivotal in my healing process, but the headliner is something called PRP, which stands for platelet-rich plasma.
That day, my doctor vociferously insisted that NOTHING regenerates tendon. And Iām glad she did, because that was the specific thing she said that triggered my āI REJECT THATā sentiment.
Because I happen to know that the human body is a miracle and masterpiece, and that every cell of it can actually be regenerated.
So I went home, got online to the National Institutes of Health catalog and set about learning that there are a couple of things that heal tendon, including PRP. And PRP is the thing that Kobe, Serena, and all the other world-class athletes do when they need their connective tissues to heal up.
In PRP, they draw a VAT of your own blood, throw it in a centrifuge right there in the office and then reinject the juicy platelets right into the most damaged joints and tissues. The trauma of the new cells stimulates growth in areas that normally have little or no blood flow. And the growth factors the PRP injection contains go straight to the freshly traumatized, healing-seeking cells.
Regeneration ensues.
But catch this: The healing serum that is PRP is actually created from your own blood. Everything I needed to heal? It was already running through my veins. I just needed a little help, the willingness and commitment to follow my Inner Guidance around the world until I was satisfied, and a little boost from science.
You have to invest in your healing when no one else around you will. You are extraordinary. Whether youāre trying to heal your finances, your marriage, your personal trauma or depression or your physical body from an auto-immune or inflammatory condition, you might have to go to extraordinary lengths to heal.
I went to multiple COUNTRIES and spent thousands of dollars out of pocket to get to this point of healing both my physical and spiritual healing. And sometimes, when I share my journey, the other person will react with outrage or anger that I āhad to go through all thatā.
And that totally misses the point, in my opinion.
Your wellbeing is YOUR responsibility. Nobody will ever invest in your healing the way you willā¦ if you give yourself permission to. When I meet people who are sitting on ample financial savings, but wonāt go outside of their network providers to heal their physical bodies, I marvel at their priorities, maybe more than they marvel at mine. Becauseā¦
Nothing is too good for me. Thatās the other piece of my process that I think blows peopleās minds. I have this very strong belief that nothing on this planet is too good to be true, and nothing is too good for me.
And I donāt care whether my insurance company or medical doctor feels the same way.
All that matters is that I do.
Stop seeking permission from this world, which teaches restriction as virtue so you can save your dollars for the consumer machine. Never resent āhaving toā invest money in your own wellbeing. Instead, see it as an incredible blessing and privilege that you can leverage your blessing and use that privilege.
Be lavish with yourself in this life. Pour your resources into yourself and your body, and Iām talking about your time, your energy, AND your money.
Never forget this principle:
Everything is healable. YOU have to know that and believe that. YOU have to take nothing else for an answer. My practice of sovereignty and rejection of medical mediocrity is the single reason Iām still able to walk. Had I taken the expertsā word for it, Iād be jacked upā¦ my friends would still be signing up on a spreadsheet for Londynās pickups and drop-offs because I couldnāt even get up the stairs to my own house, smh.
Funny enough, the doctor who gave me my PRP treatments also shared her own experience with medical psychedelics, which she had used to heal a lifelong, treatment-resistant depression.
That sent me down a research rabbit hole, wanting to learn about psychedelics for my clientsā¦ and THAT research revealed that ketamine in particular has strong medical indications for PTSD.
So while I was āfeet-upā for those months on end, healing my connective tissues with PRP, I also underwent medical psychedelic therapy for the PTSD that Iād spent over 20 years in talk therapy and EMDR address. That treatment turned out to be a multiplier on the healing Iād spent so many thousands of dollars and hours doing over the years.
And miracles ensuedā¦ in my synapses, my spirit, my soul, my lifeā¦ and my feet.
So when I tell you that everything is healable, I mean EVERYTHING.
Your tendons.
Your bones.
Your cells.
Your brain.
Your heart.
Your finances.
Your relationships.
Your career.
Your business.
Your creative life.
Your children.
Your ancestral line.
Everything is healable.
Head up + heart out,
Tara-Nicholle Kirke, MA, Esq. The Metaphysician Founder + CEO of SoulTour
P.S.: One more thing: You might have to imagine your healing in ways that those around you never will, if you ever want it to happen.
Soon Iāll tell you the story about how my imagination led me on a quest for a medical Holy Grailā¦ and how I found it!
I wanted to share with you this really quick story about something that happened the other day.
I was with Londyn, who’s four and a half years old. And someone we love, called on the phone, asked to speak to Londyn and put it on speaker.
And they said, “Londyn, I miss you.”
And Londyn said, “That’s okay.”
And the person on the other end of the phone said, What does that mean? Like, a little indignant? “What does that mean?”
And I said, what that means is, she acknowledges your feelings. She recognizes your feelings, but she does not participate in your feelings, and she does not feel responsible for you.
And they said, Damn. Well, usually people just say, I miss you, too. As though it was like my job, just tell her to same as you to.
And what I said instead was, I’m not in the business. I’m not about that life. I’m not about that life. I’m not teaching her to edit her actual feelings or responses to make other people feel better, or in the interest of, you know, being polite, or having manners.
So, I offer that to you. I offer Londyn to you as a master spiritual teacher.
If somebody should try to enroll you in their agitation or angst, it is very okay for you to recognize their feelings and acknowledge their feelings without participating in their feelings, or owning or claiming responsibility for their feelings.
You can just say, “That’s okay.”
Head up + heart out,
Tara-Nicholle Kirke, MA, Esq. The Metaphysician Founder + CEO of SoulTour
I wanted to tell you today the story of why I changed my name. So as some of you know, when I started SoulTour my name was Tara Nicole Nelson, it is now Tara-Nicholle Kirke.
And when I changed my name and started using my new name, I had a bunch of people email or call in to say, āHey, did you get married, what happened?ā And my standard line kind of became āNo, I just got extra divorced.ā
I got extra divorced. So Nelson was my second husband’s name.
And some time, maybe like four or five years ago. So you know, maybe six, seven years after we’d gotten divorced.
Itās just, the name Nelson started to feel like it was someone else’s name, like you’ve ever changed your hair and felt like you were looking in the mirror. And you were wearing someone else’s hair. That’s how I kind of started to feel about the name. All right.
So I have this very strong clear. If you’re into human design, I am a projector and I’m a splenic projector. So I get these very strong splenic like knowings. I just know what thing and I know it. And there’s a logic to it. It’s just right. So I had that strong, very clear, very resounding inner guidance that Nelson wasn’t going was not my name for the duration. But what I didn’t have was a similarly strong urge, or pool toward what would be my new name. And so I remember actually having a couple of conversations with clients or friends at the time, you’re like, I’m gonna change my name. I don’t know what to what, like, I’m going to wait till I feel that similarly strong knowing that x is my new name.
All right, so cut to maybe a year or two after that I’m teaching in the School of self mastery.
I’m teaching the book Cersei by Madeline Miller, which is all about the Greek goddess Cersei, who is the goddess of transformation? Well, let’s see, what what you think searcys descriptor is depends on who you be. All right. So for generations, she was known popularly as the dread goddess. And I don’t mean that she had dreadlocks, okay. She was dread because she had the power to transmit and used the power to transform people into animals. Men who tried to rape her into swine, for example, and say she was known as the dread Goddess, and Madeline Miller rewrote the story of surrogacy. And as I was teaching it, I came to super identify with it literally searcys life story and journey
was very, very parallel to my life story in Germany. Cersei was the daughter, one of many daughter
of Helios, the son of father was the son.
And her mother was kind of a minor,
A minor character in the Greek pantheon. And Cersei made some bad without knowing what her powers were used her powers in not great ways. When she was a teenager, and
was exiled, was actually exiled, had to leave her home, leave her family and go live on this island that was wild and uninhabited at the time.
That felt like my family, I had grown up with a father who was very genius and also very abusive, like searcys father
made some not so amazing decisions in my young adulthood, and then moved, you know, moved to realize that there was no way I could expand it to who I was becoming or even figure out who I was becoming while I was still having to live, receive the projections of what all of these people thought I was that who they thought I was. And again, just quick Human Design reference, I missed three five profile so that five line if you have it in your chart, it’s the week
Heritage line and traditional
human design, we I think of it as like the revolutionary line. It’s a line that receives a lot of other people’s projections, you might even feel if you have a five line in your chart, you might feel like people don’t really know you the real you, they just project upon you for good or evil. And so as you get older you be, you know, you may fix your magnet a little bit for people and fix your picker a little bit for people and you’ll fix your ability to with to understand and withstand other people’s projections. But as a young person, I was like, I don’t know, these people got a real strong point of view about who I be. And it’s not who I think I be. So I’m out. All right. So I moved at the time to Oakland. 25 years ago, I moved to from my small town hometown in the center of California, very red, very conservative, to Oakland and the Bay Area just few hours away, and just a few key light years way, spiritually and personality wise. And I moved here to go to law school at UC Berkeley, like when I graduated about 21 years ago.
So
what was interesting also, as a parallel is seriously moved to this island that was totally uninhabited. But while she was there, she started to learn and experiment with her powers. She started to experiment with her how she was designed and what she was called to do, what her unique gifts were. And she got really freakin good
at using those gifts. And along the way, the place that she created, the place that she transformed this uninhabited, wild, undesirable island into became the place that the whole pantheons wanted to be visiting people would show up, drop it and show up and drop in. Right, she came to raise a bunch of beautiful animals and a couple of beautiful children.
She eventually renegotiated demanded really of her father that she’d be on the exiled. And ultimately, she used her power to it to make this wild, radical Maverick decision for a goddess, she actually transformed herself from immortal to mortal, so that she could, you know, taste to the juice of mortal life that we all get to taste, which is the pain and the pleasure of knowing that this is fleeting. This is, you know, this, this physical apparatus is fleeting, though the soul is immortal. So we better go on a living spree while we’re here. Right? So I super related to searcys story Cersei in the original Greek was querque Kir Ke. That is why my last name is Nico Kirk. Although I just say Kirk, I don’t say querque.
So, process wise, when the pandemic happened, I became very aware, you know, I had I had lived through the Great Recession in I was in the real estate business during the Great Recession, I lost everything I had during the great recession 2008 I came out of it, we were we were like, I mean, my I was able to double my income, then double my income, then double my income again, with what I learned and how I became
who I became, as the result of the spiritual and practical rituals and practices I recreated in that incubator of recession, global crisis, that Bri lost everything. So when the pandemic happened, I was like, This feels really familiar. I’ve been here before I know how to do this, I know for sure, then this is relevant to every single human being watching this today. Whether you feel like you were super personally affected by the pandemic or not, because we’re already starting to see headlines about a coming recession. And I’m telling you guys, my big takeaway from 2008 was that there are those who will thrive in any global crisis, there are those who will thrive in any economic crisis. And not just those who take advantage there are those who thrive by contributing and finding their right spot in the marketplace.
Because they tend to their inner well being because they stay grounded and clear minded and on purpose, enough to know not necessarily to get their strategies in what they do in their decisions, right, that first go round but enough to be able to course correct to whatever the world throws their way. Right. So when the pandemic happened, I thought all right, every crisis is a portal. Every crisis is an opening. Maybe there’s some personal narrative here that’s ready, maybe what are the personal narratives that I’ve been living that are ready to be disrupted and it’s time
What is it? What transformations want to happen in the in in my life in this time that that, you know, quarantine and not being able to be as socially busy or as traveling busy as normal? What are the what’s the opportunity here? What wonderful thing what wonderful developments within me want to be had in the season. And so one thing I thought was, you know, in my life of as an entrepreneur and a toddler mom at the time, there’s not a lot of time for like the legal stuff.
So I thought anything will legal anything court be
my estate planning, I did a bunch of estate planning work. I’ve actually finished getting guardianship for London and adopted lens whole adoption process in the pandemic. And so in the same vein, I was like, you know, this is a good time to change my name.
So the way the process is supposed to go, he filed his name change paperwork with the court, you publish a notice in the newspaper. I know newspaper is still a thing. I think they mostly do it online. But it’s kind of like a gives everybody in town notice that this person is now becoming this person. Do you have any reason that shouldn’t happen?
Speak now or forever, hold your peace. Take notice. And then you’re supposed to go to this actual court hearing. And at the court hearing you have a conversation with the judge. And then the judge is like gavel you are now Tara-Nicholle Kirke? Well, because I filed my paperwork and did my newspaper notice in the pandemic, somehow my process was radically accelerated. And that somehow, I think, is the law of divine timing, which just says that when you are, especially when you’re in alignment with what you your unique sacred contracts are to do all this assistance and ease and acceleration or delays that benefit you begin to flow your way. So I filed the court for the court, I filed the court paperwork, I published the newspaper and notice.
I was waiting to hear when my Court appointment ones. And instead what happened was on my phone one day, I see a CSL call coming in Alameda County Superior Court, I answered the phone. And it was like hi, this is Judge so and so on the judge in Your Name Change Case, your order, you are officially now Tara-Nicholle Kirke. Bam, gaggle gavel you the court order is now done, I will email it to you, whatever you do, do not come to court. We are we did not want people in the building was like, Okay, so my name was officially changed in a very expedited way, so expedited that, in fact, I had to go to great lengths to actually integrate my name change into my own mind into my own, you know, it wasn’t like getting married, where you have this whole year of planning of the ceremony, and then the ceremony and then everybody’s calling you whoever, like it literally was like some guy call me. And then my name James. So it took me a long time to actually start using my new name. Hilariously, my friend Rebecca sent me flowers and was like here Tara-Nicholle Kirke. Like, she’s like, gotta remember that this is our right now.
And so, you know, that’s one principle to catch for some body out here, when you have been through a season of
intentional or unintentional but rapid transformation
that is expanded or changed who you be.
You may want to get intentional about integrating that, right? In our world. We do that sometimes in our school by metabolizing. The season before what happened this year, like at the end of the year, we’ll literally do an intentional manat metabolizing exercise what happened this year, that I want to keep us part of me like you, you need to no one’s really out. We are teaching people how to have an inner life and create an Inner Inner Inner infrastructure that is transformational. But this is how it’s done. You literally reflect pull in what you want to keep shed intentionally shed what you want to shed release what needs releasing. And often we do that by with in journaling or in writing or you know, in conversations, but writing has a specific power to it.
So I wanted to just share that in the self mastering method. Sometimes the biggest limiting factor that you have the thing that’s the point of the most resistance that stopping you from creating all this alignment that wants to happen in your life. All this alignment between the insides of who you be and the outsides of your life that wants to happen.
Sometimes the biggest limiting factor on that alignment is your identity.
It’s your identity. And sometimes it is the most sweeping
and easiest, the I shouldn’t say easiest, but it’s the most comprehensive to pool. Big lever that can trigger alignment. And the transformation you desire to have in your life is shifting your identity versus getting out here. What I see is a ton in my work is that people come in and they’re like, I have this thing I’d like to do or this way, I’d like to be this dream. I’d like to dream like to create, but I’m stuck or have no resistance or have these, you know, we call them all kinds of things in our logjams, procrastination, perfectionism, and they’re out here getting time management systems and accountability coaches and reading every self help book and trying to change the procrastination trying to. And I’m like, usually there is some, if you track it back, if you get out of trying to do the work of aligning the action of alignment, and you track it back to understanding who you really are, and what goals and desires and dreams you your inner wise and our being really has. Right? Or if you even track it back. Beyond deeper than that, under that.
And you get to the worldviews and paradigms and the belief systems, the laws of the universe, the way you see the universe and your role in it. What you believe is possible the trances and conditioning of fear and scarcity and unworthiness, if you get there is usually some central core trance or paradigm or belief, including identity,
that if you pull if you address that heal, that befriend that transform that everything else changes with so much more ease. And identity is one of the deepest, most core most central most effective by all those trances levers that you can pull. And I try I like to think of this as like identity shifts, including it which can be facilitated by or integrated by, or, you know, related to changing your actual legal name.
Change your legal name, change your spiritual name, change your identity, and everything else shifts and you get to be the boss of that. What this is is rebranding yourself to yourself rebrand. It’s a rebrand of yourself to yourself and just like a rebrand in business. There’s all this like other messaging and positioning, there’s a reason businesses rebrand, and all this money and take all this risk. It’s because they’re trying to expand or become something different. They want a different position in the minds of the market. Right? So rebrand yourself to yourself. The years ago, my students know the store years ago, like
I’m gonna say
30 years ago,
I lost like 60 pounds.
And
at the time,
I remember very clearly one of the big levers and people I remember people being like, how did you do and what did you do? i The one pivotal thing and yeah, I made all the changes because there’s like, I mean, they dramatically change the way that I ate, and how I move my body and who I hung around with stories I told.
But I’ve recall one of the big levers that changed everything for me and made all of those other changes very much less effortful. I remember listening to this Tony Robbins CD and I want to say it was called the power of your identity or the power of identity or something like that.
And I remember listening to this thing.
And I remember leaving listening to it being like, I’m just, I decide I choose now sovereignty over my identity. I decide now and I’m telling you, I was 16 I think I was like, let’s say actually let’s say it was 27 years ago, so maybe I was like 18 or 19 years old. Maybe I was 20
I remember saying today
209 pounds, right? Today
I’m a fit person, period. So from today on today, from today, I do what fit people do. And as I went about my day I tuned in in this hyper present way to everything to every the automatic choices I was making and the non on the intentional and habitual choices all
choices I was making as I moved through the day, I remember thinking like, a fit person wouldn’t read that.
What magazine would a fit person by? Right? What would I’m in the grocery store, okay, I’m gonna let my inner fit person, right kind of like my wise inner being my big self, I’m just gonna let my inner fit person do my grocery shopping, I’m gonna let my inner fit person choose who I spend my time with. I’m like that, and it changed everything. And it was much much much less effortful than trying to, you know, weigh food and track this and that it was just like a big, big shift at an identity level. And I continue when things when there are things that I desire to be different in my world, elevations that I desire to have in my world. I try to start them at identity level.
Some years ago, I decided that I wanted to be the mother of a thriving family of singing, dancing children.
All right, and that changed
the kinds of content I consume, the time I spend with my children, how I be with my children, who they get to be who else I’m allowing our lives. Right. When I started to study the sacred money archetypes I like leaned into I am ruler ruler is my number one archetype. Well, a ruler builds an transformational Empire for the benefit of all without swinging the hammer. Right. Same with learning my human design, I’m a projector, I’m an orchestrator, I am a guide, I’m not supposed to be doing all the work. And in fact, my
my work is actually in understanding my zone of genius, attracting in all the people I need around me and their zone of genius zones of genius, and getting really skillful and intentional about how I delegate, how I guide really more their work, because it’s not hierarchical like that, like I came to understand as at an identity level, who I be as a person that is a puzzle piece that fits with generators and mansions, right. Like, I need them, they need me. So we danced together, this is so learning how to orchestrate and lead that dance became a place that I started to spend a lot of my time, right, I started my identity shift, leaning surrendering to my projector, my ruler, my mother of a thriving family of singing, dancing children, it is a very powerful trigger of alignment in all of the other ways. And if you set it right, if you decide if you choose the identity that you choose to live into, right,
then you choose an identity that you’ve you’re in love with, that is aligned with who you’re wise and are being big self actually be who you can be the glory you came here to be.
You fall in love with that identity.
You let drop in and download in and fill in a very colorful, very nuanced, very vivid vision
for the life that aligns to and supports and is supported by that identity.
And then the feeling of the pressure than you need to pull all those fucking levers to change yourself or change your life
goes away.
Right? So only after I actually changed my name,
and was teaching I teach in Simon Sinek school, you might know him from a TED talk he gave some years ago that’s very iconic, called start start with why.
So only after I’ve changed my name, and I was teaching my my sessions in Simon school that I realized, wait a second. So my most popular I’ve written like 600 or something writing prompts over the last few years on my most popular prompt, the prompt that organizations hire me to come deliver in person to their conferences and rooms, their employees is all about name. It’s all about identity. Right? And it’s called What’s your game name? Now some of you will know it. But it’s basically a prompt that was inspired by the way that they introduced an heiress Targaryen and Game of Thrones with all of her descriptors, and how her name changes as she moves through the world and has different experiences, right and so the prompt is really about it challenges people to create their own Game of Thrones name, including the descriptors that they that would capture the essential qualities of the person that they’re in the process of becoming, versus the person they’ve been in the past or the person that their family says they are or whatever. So like if you could sum up who you are becoming without referencing your own limitations, your old traumas or even your current circumstances.
Who you are becoming? Right. That’s the game name prompt. And at the time when I wrote the prompt my original game name was this.
I would say I’m trying to call Nelson the inner critic coach, spiritual strategist to smart, successful people. Practice or a Buddhist detachment, lover of God and people and champagne.
daughter and granddaughter and mother and grandmother, founder of soul tour creator and teacher of spiritual strategy, which we now call self mastery method. The lighter and all things cashmere ambitious, uplifter, amateur athlete, amateur doctor, spiritual country and mother of pugs first of her name. Okay, so that was my original game name and I would ask people to give their original game names. But as I was teaching in cynic school, I was I had done this diagram where I’d broken it apart my now named Tara Nicole Kirk, and I had broken it into I had realized that I actually might three names are all mine. I have sacred namesakes for each of those names. Right My name Tara or Tara, others would say I pronounce it Tara
means star or tower or in gala mean star or light of the soul in Sanskrit. Right. And my sacred namesake is the Hindu goddess Tara, the mother of liberation.
Under Nicole, I always thought of like having a name St. Having my name is St. Louis St. Nicholas. But actually Nicholas was named after the Greek goddess Nike, the data of speed and strength and the messenger of victory to the people, y’all. All right. And then Kirk, and as I said before, and this is my sacred name, sake of my last name is the Greek DD querque, aka Cersei, the goddess of transform the formerly dreaded Goddess of transformation. All right, so liberation, my name is lit, liberation, victory to the people.
Trans transformation.
That’s my new, that’s my game name. Now. That’s the identity I now live into. That’s my upgrading. All right. So I’m telling you my self mastery stories in part, as a very long winded, luxurious, lavish, for me way of inviting you to this incredible event in real life in the flesh in the room, that I am running October 21, through 23rd in Berkeley, California, right here at the Clermont club and spa. It’s called upgrade your money and your life. It’s a place a sacred space in which you can begin to live that unlived formerly felt felt a little unreachable life that you were born to live. And I want you to know now that that live the life you will leave the room living on day three of UPGRADE is a life that is bigger and more delicious than your current identity can even contain, then your current imagination can even contain.
So stay tuned, there’s going to be a whole lot more about UPGRADE coming your way. I will drop the link to the early early bird registration into the comments here somewhere. One person who doesn’t early early bird registration will get a human design reading with me, which is a very rare thing you can’t actually get by it. I only do human design readings with my existing coaching clients remain existing empires of the soul clients and those investments started at $25,000. So I hope to see you in October. I love you.
And just think about what’s your game name? What’s the upgrade identity you’re ready to start looking into? I’ll see you in October.
Head up + heart out,
Tara-Nicholle Kirke, MA, Esq. The Metaphysician Founder + CEO of SoulTour
P.S.: In case you missed it, hereās the link to yesterdayās LIVE, when I told the story of how I used Spiritual Strategy to get an accurate medical diagnosis, after 15 years and 13 foot fractures. (Wheeeeeeeeew.)
I’m talking a lot this week, a bunch of things are happening. One is I’m launching, I’m very softly quietly doing the very earliest, earliest bird registration launch. And for my event in October, which is called upgrade your money and your life. I’m holding it at the iconic Clermont club and, and spa here in Berkeley, California, down the street from my house.
And because a season of upgrades is always, always, always a season of plot twists. This week, I’m talking a lot with you about plot twists, I’m telling you a bunch of my own self-mastery stories, a bunch of the stories of the plot twists that have comprised my life, my magical and ever more wonderful.
Alright, so I want you to note to catch the principles to begin one is that every season of upgrade is a season of plot twist. So you got to loosen your control if you think that you are the director of the universe. If that is the delusion you ever fall under, you got to let go of that control if you want to truly have an upgrade season, all right, because you’re and the other thing is the other principle I want you to catch now is to trust that your wise inner being, which is that piece of the Divine that is, is in you, speaks to you within you that still small voice. That is God in you, that piece of you always knows what you really are here for what you really want. It always knows what your highest self really is, and looks like and feels like.
So whenever you’re thinking thoughts that are very limiting whenever you’re explaining your limitations in a way that feels really constricting. Whenever there’s a plot twist in your circumstances, and your reaction is like I can’t do this, I’m not up for this. Right? Whenever you’re spending all your time in the paralysis of analysis, because you’re trying so mightily to plan perfect action.
So that note nothing unwanted ever takes place in your life. Just know that you can always trust no matter how unclear you think you are in your cognitive mind about what it is that you really want. Your wise inner being always knows what you really want your big dreams, your highest, that highest self shit, okay.
And a lot of times as you are setting goals that may still have remnants of threads of external validation, cultural condition, family conditioning in them. If you find yourself not being able to accomplish those goals, or you find yourself accomplishing them and not feeling fulfilled, you can always know that you know, Abraham Hicks always says you can’t really get off the path, you’re wise inner being is often trying to get you to someplace higher enter than your cognitive mind will ever even set a goal to be to take you on. Great.
I want to tell you a story Self Mastery story today, but the time I got a surprise, baby.
So some of y’all know me and you know that I have it feels like 1000 children, but I have three children. I have a 30-year-old, 29-year-old, and a four-year-old. And I’m going to tell you about the time I got the four-year-old who might just be the best human they’ve made so far. And all the humans they made. She ranks up there for me.
So let’s begin at the beginning which is you know, I grew up in a family that is I grew up in a very woman cherishing family in many ways. All right. I grew up in a family where my grandmother was very, it was very much the matriarch. My father’s mother was very much the matriarch and that matriarchy was presided over by her and her three sisters. And I spent a lot of time with my grandmother and she cherished her sisters, cherished, cherished, cherished her sisters. She cherished me
She made it really clear that she cherished me. And she would tell me things my whole life even once I got to be an adult, she’d say, you know, you’ve done she called me Tara Berra, Turnberry, you’ve done so well. Your life is great. You just need a little girl. Because I had, you know, my older two kids are both boys. And she loved them too. But she said, you just need a little girl, you just need a little girl. And I always secretly wanted a little girl. But my sort of marriage, relationships and life, that part of my life didn’t play out in a way that I thought was responsible to have more biological children at that time, all right.
But I always secretly hurt I always had this little smoldering secret desire for a little girl. And my friends know, as we got into our, like, late 30s and early 40s. You know, some of my friends even were starting menopause. And they would be like, Why aren’t you glad we’re not having any more kids. And I never said anything. I always just be like, because I was like, I won’t say what I will never do. But I knew I had this smouldering little desire for another child, maybe more than one child, but I knew one more. And I also knew how manifesting works.
I knew how I knew my own magic, I know that I have the magic, sometimes I can make the phone ring, I can decide on one thing and download it. And I hadn’t really put any intentional thought into it. But I will say this sometimes the things that manifest the most perfect are the things that you desire, that you hold the most likely. You just desire it early. You have no resistance to it, and you’re not trying to make it happen.
Sometimes that’s the stuff that literally just drops into you. And that is basically what happened with me and this child. So, my grandma, Mother transitioned back into pure positive soul spirits or Scott energy in let’s say, I want to select December 2018. By April of 2019, I was back home living my wonderful bon vivant to travel the world life, I had a full speaking slate. I was going to Montana for the Athena Pac Conference.
I remember my calendar because it was actually such a perfect calendar at the time for me. And it was such a striking sequence of events that took place. So I was going to Montana to Bozeman for the Athena pet conference where I intend to hold the role of opening their sacred space for their conference. Then I had like two weeks and then I was going to go speak for the first time at a fest for Mindvalley in Portugal, in the Algarve. And I’ll tell you this, I had never I’d been around the world, I had never been to Portugal at that time. Or talking spring 2019.
I had always heard people say like, when Portugal came up in conversation, people would be like, Hmm, you should go there. It’s kind of like for you, you would really like it there. It’s kind of like your vibe. And I always like, and I just never got around to it. So Mindvalley booked me for this session, to speak at a list actually about my book, the transformation, the book that I was really heavily promoting and working with that this material at the time, the transformational consumer, I was just beginning that transition from working exclusively in marketing and business on the transformational consumer work to you know, beginning soul tour, beginning to work with people as a spiritual strategist, metaphysicians Self Mastery guide.
So I had this trip booked to speak at Mindvalley. And I booked some extra time, I was going to just spend some extra time in Lisbon, spend some extra time around Lisbon, to explore it and catch whatever, you know, do vibe check.
And I never took that trip. I never took that trip, which as some of you know, spoiler alert. I’m now in the process of moving to the slow process, but the process of moving to Portugal. So this was like some years in the making without me working on moving all of this time. It was just a seed that had been planted. And I had taken the natural next step to cultivate the seed. But I never took that trip.
Because one day I was sitting on the deck at the Claremont on at the Claremont where we’re having the upgrade event Mmm, it’s the private club that I belong to here in the Bay Area was sitting on the deck one Friday afternoon is drinking champagne and eating french fries, which is what I used to do on Friday afternoon. And I was having lunch with my friend Katie, who I worked with a million years ago when I ran Content Marketing at Trulia. And I got I will never forget this. I got this, Katie had just moved into my neighborhood.
I’m sitting across from her and I get this phone call. And I see this number come up several times. And I won’t even I’m not going to bore you with the details, but the long and the short of the phone call. I was on the phone for a couple minutes. I asked a couple questions. And then I hung up and I was like, “Katie, I think I have to go pick up a baby. I think I have to go get this baby.” And this baby is the baby that you now know is Londyn, my four-year-old. I think we have to get this baby. And at the time Londyn was my, is my biological granddaughter who I have since adopted. But at the time, I didn’t know Londyn.
Now I had I was in the waiting room and she was born. But I didn’t see her that day. And then I had met her like twice just because of the circumstances with my son. Her father who is developmentally disabled has a genetic disorder. Got some stuff going on. And her mother who I did not know and I won’t because that part is her story. I will not put her business in the streets. I don’t even know our business but in the streets. But because of the circumstances I did not really know this baby. So I met her twice. She was like 16 or 17 months old. And pick up the phone this day out of the blue. And I’m like, All right. Okay. I bet.
So hang up the phone. I’m like, Hey, I think I gotta go pick up this baby. Can you sense and I love Katie for this and that’s why I’m calling her by name. Katie says You better come by my house. Because I’ve got my kids, my kids old car seats still in the garage. So we literally drove from the Claremont our homes are like a mile away, drove a mile to her home. She literally went into her garage, got the car seat out, put it in my car. And I went and picked up a baby. This was like the day or two days maybe after Easter 2019.
And she has been with me 100% of every day since that day, she won’t be with me 100% of every day for ever. According to her, she told me last night that she is never leaving. Like she’s gonna grow up and still live with me is what she is her plan. And I’m not mad at that plan. All right. So there’s so many ways I could tell you this story through the lens of spirit of or I could slice or analyze or reflect on this story through the lens of self mastery. You know, in the Self Mastery method that I created and teach, we really have three big buckets of inner work that we do. One of them is the first of them is to recalibrate.
Your nervous system, your belief system, the way you work the way you think the way you understand the universe, the way you understand your place in the universe. The next step is to actualize and that usually means to, you know, that usually means since you have done the paradigm shifting work, of coming out from under the licensure out from under the influence of your harsh hindering inner critic out from under the influence of fear, scarcity, unworthiness, trauma, etc. In step one. By the time you get to the actual life step, you have the sort of fresh clean slate to reset vision for your life in a vivid and beautiful and powerful way. But to do that, you kind of have to do it.
The actual step is an opportunity to reset the vision for your life. When your true sacred big Self is running the show and you’re no longer setting goals from your inner critic or small self or conditioned self place. So in order to really dive fully into setting a new vision from your true sacred Self, right, you have to first get to know your true self. So the actualize stage of the Self Mastery method is a lot about self-discovery. And we use systems like my own self-mastery archetypes, the sacred money archetypes we use the human design system we use attachment style As we don’t really use a whole lot of Myers Briggs and other methods, but it’s very common for people who come out of a recalibration season and into an actualization season to want to go down those kinds of rabbit holes of self-discovery.Ā
All right, with any of these systems, and they all have value, some more, some less, but just know they all have value. And then last season’s Self Mastery methods alignment, and that’s when you’re actually doing the work to change your life. Right. So you’ve heard me say it before, and I’ll just give a plug for it.
Again, if you have been a person who’s jumped into a lot of self-improvement type action work time management, trying to fix your procrastination and perfectionism, your imposter syndrome trying to get more accountable, whatever. If you start leaping into action that is like alignment type action, you’re very likely going to trigger your own struggle switch, because alignment work always needs paradigm work recalibration work, and always self-actualization work first.Ā
So that’s just what’s happening if you’ve had that experience. So I’m sitting on the deck, I get this phone call, Katie is like frickin gamer puts this freakin you know, car seat in my car and go put this baby up. And I spent a year in legal proceedings to get guardianship of her. And then the pandemic happens, and I spent another year adopting her. So our adoption was final, not quite but almost a year ago.Ā
So I’ll say this, through the lens of the actualization work, the self-discovery work, when I was sitting at that table, and I got that phone call. I knew that this was the thing to do. There was never a second of questioning about whether it was the right thing to go pick this child up, who I did not know. And now I have the vocabulary for that. Now I know that I am a project in the Human Design System, I’m a projector with splenic authority. My right way to make decisions is to feel in the moment that like, yes or no. And I had that. And I’ve always, not always, but for a long time as an adult, I’ve known that I have this strong sense of knowing Yes, or no something is or is not the right thing for me.Ā
Now, many of you have that too. However, our culture and our families often conditioners to overrule and override that to second-guessed, right. So part of the path of self-mastery is learning that if you are someone with splenic authority, if you are someone whose inner authority and inner guidance system speaks loudly like that part of the work is creating the habit of not overruling and overriding that.Ā
So I knew it was the right thing in that moment. And I followed that. And I’m, we’re all glad that I did. But I knew I also knew it would be challenging, right. And I also knew I was up for it. I knew it wouldn’t do me in. I knew it would be a radical disruption to my person to the personal narrative I had been living. My kids had been out of the house for like 10 years. So I had been living in this kind of great three bedroom, three bath house in the Bay Area, like doing my own thing travel, I would go places for a month or two at a time, I had done so many things. I had leaned so hard into lavish self-care, wellness, and self-investment.
Travel, joy, like I had just leaned into giving myself permission to live exactly the ways that made sense for me, which was a relatively luxurious way. And I had been doing that for 10 years. And because I had done that I felt very nourished and ready for the call to adventure that was before me even though I didn’t know exactly what that was going to look like. Right? But that’s the thing about like, you get to be in your mid-40s or older. You may have been through some shit, right? And so instead of there are two ways that life can go when you’ve been through some shit, you can kind of stay focused on the path and try hard. Try with all your might.Ā
And I see this a lot right now. Smart successful people trying who don’t feel like they’re fulfilling their potential or don’t feel like they’re fulfilling their dreams. And what I observed is that they’re trying really hard not to re-make the mistakes of their past but that has them a little bit stuck in the past. Right.Ā
And what we’re trying to do now is to call what I’m trying to do and call to do in this season is call you forward called the big self within you forward. Dare You to take to answer my call to the adventure, of experimenting to see how delicious and how big and how fulfilling and how aligned you can let your life get.
So for me, as I just can, I’m gonna kind of go back and forth between like, sharing the Self Mastery method piece of the story or the way I interpret the story and reflect on the story through the method. And the way the story played out. For me, that commitment where I was like to call to adventure God, cosmic call to adventure. Cool, but let’s do it.Ā
The moment you commit to that kind of an adventure, usually begin to kickstart this radical transit new season of healing, new season of Trent healing, whatever needs healing doesn’t have to be a thing you were trying to heal even consciously, right, you kickstart a new season of healing you kickstart a new season of transformation, you kickstart a new season of radical upgrade, you kickstart a new season of alignment, and one of the very first things that happened was the relationship I was in I had been in for a few years, we broke up, it was super clear that this relationship was not a relationship that was gonna, you know, be in alignment with the new direction of my life.
And I share that detail because so often, we start doing this work, we’re doing the paradigm work, we’re doing the actualization work, the self-discovery work, where we parenting ourselves, we’re doing the alignment work. And the very first thing that often happens when you do alignment work, if you’re doing it right, is that things, realities, parts of your life relationships in your life patterns in your life, people in your life, that are inconsistent with the highest self version of you, that are inconsistent with you know, big dream version of your life that you’re stepping into.Ā
Anything that’s inconsistent with it has to fall away. It has to it can not come with you where you’re going, all right. And usually, it starts to feel really friction at first. And then either you exercise, you have to find the courage to make a necessary ending. Or, you know, the thing falls apart the other person breaks up with you the job, you get fired from the job, you get laid off, you know, whatever happens, but just know it almost doesn’t even matter which of those things whether you execute the ending or whether the X whether you let the universe, execute the ending.Ā
Just know that often when you begin to do your alignment work, things will shift will happen in your world that feel like loss before they feel like alignment. All right. So that’s one thing that happened. The second thing that happened was just you know, all kid I am a big believer in children. Okay, I believe that children first of all these new kids are coming out differently. They ain’t even like other humans have other times. Right? These kids are coming. They are a wonderful exemplar of human evolution.
But people ask me all the time, but all children across all time and all generations really do stir up the healing, the healing that they stir up what still needs tending to within their parents, they are our gurus, they are our spiritual teachers. I don’t even mean this in a like woo-woo super kind of way. I just mean that like children. Having children in your space and in your life tends to stir up whatever within you still needs healing. And in the Self Mastery method, we affirm over and over and over again, I choose to see it as a treasure when I discover something new to release.Ā
I see and feel myself changing moment by moment. Right? These are old-school Louise Hay declarations, but they’re real. And so when you’ve been doing that work, and then something shifts in your life that stirs up you can call it triggering, or you can just call it you know, surfacing for you. Which you still need to attend to. You can choose to see that as oh my gosh, what the hell is actually happening or you can choose to see it as a treasure so I choose to see it as a treasure people asked me all the time do I feel like I’m getting a do-over?Ā
Because so I have a 30-year-old, 29-year-old, and now a four-year-old rights. 25 years between children. I feel like every day of everyone’s life is a do-over, to be honest. And also, yeah. I apologize to my old kids all the time. I’m like, yo, you guys got the first pancake mom. You know, first pancake is kind of like jacked up and stuff. Because you don’t let the grill get hot enough. You didn’t let the oil get hot enough.Ā
You didn’t maybe the batter hadn’t sat long enough. I mean, yeah, so my kids, my old kids got the first pancake mom, I was 16 and 17 years old when they were born. Now I’m 46. So Londyn gets a great advantage of First of all, I’ve done this before. And also 25 years of personal growth work in between.
Right 25 years of coaching, therapy, meditation, prayer, journaling, reflection, all this inner growth work that I was doing, because it felt good to do and it was my calling to do it. She gets the advantage of all of that. Oh, and also, by the way, and I say some of this because people are sometimes fast and they’re like, but aren’t you tired? You’re 46 Aren’t you tired? I’m like yo, money I didn’t have when I had my old kids. I have a house that’s I’ve resources. I’m kind of like that guy, Clarence Avant out. Oh, who was it? Kimberly Murray on Facebook, you were pointing out we should all watch this. This show, the black godfather. Once a year, whatever. I love the quote that this guy has. He says I don’t even have problems. I got friends. I feel like that 25 years on I know, I don’t have problems. I got friends. I got resources and my friends. A couple of them are human, but most of them are divine. I have access to divine resources that I did not know I had when I was 16 and 17.Ā
I’ve had healing of old trauma that I didn’t know that was not healed was still very unprocessed back then. When I got Londyn, I had unprocessed trauma that having Londyn made me aware of and I knew what to do with it in a way that I did not know what to do with trauma when it surfaced when my old kids were younger, right.Ā
And one of the big things that Londyn stirred up from me that I think is really has a bunch of powerful Self Mastery lessons in it is the need to recalibrate out of this cult of the individual, this cult this insidious cult of self-reliance that I believe is truly a very toxic symptom of toxic capitalism colonialism, patriarchy, white supremacy, call it what you want to there is a very toxic trance like conditioning program thought habit that I call I’ll do it myself syndrome. Like we’ve been getting credit or external validation for doing hard things by ourselves for so long, that that has become this very toxic, isolating. I’ll do it myself syndrome. It creates a moat around you in the Self Mastery method we talk about our interpersonal relationships and the progress they can help us make like spiritually as our magnets and our Moats.Ā
When you are still embedded in a toxic I’ll-do-it-myself syndrome trance. You broadcast emote that keeps a good help away from you. It keeps supportive humans away from you. Right? In some ways, it becomes a broken magnet because it attracts the kind of people into your world who actually don’t want to help, who do not want to participate who might even want to take instead of give.Ā
Right so I had a series of healings and I’m sure I’m still in them with Londyn because with Londyn and with the medical diagnosis I talked about yesterday and with the pandemic and with childcare breaking down with my businesses. I basically had no other option than to heal my magnets and to heal my motes to stop broadcasting a signal that says Help stay away. I’ll do it myself.
And to start not only asking for help but to start, really recalibrating what I even thought an appropriate landscape of life looked like from an interpersonal relationship perspective, right? So like, when I first got Londyn, I told me I joke. I was probably I probably had her for 36 hours before I felt maternal guilt flaring up. Where I was like, huh, this is fascinating. I was feeling guilty. I was logically aware that that guilt story couldn’t even possibly be logically true. Because I’ve had this child 36 hours I can’t possibly have fucked her up yet. I’m saying, right. And I realized over time that I was telling myself the very well, several things, I realized that this maternal guilt story is a very deep and insidious shadow in the collective unconscious. It was not my story, it wasn’t even really my story. It was a thing that was in the collective that was surfacing because I now had this baby child.
And it did cause me to tell myself some scarcity stories, I would tell myself the story that, you know, every moment I wasn’t with her every moment she was in daycare with someone else was sort of like a moment of her lifetime that we lost. I mean, I was really dramatic in the way I was thinking about it. And one day, I read this story, I want to say it was written by Charles Blow in the New York Times, who was like a black dude, single parent.
And I just, I don’t even remember what the rest of the piece was about. I just remember him saying that his mother had taught him that the more people who love your children, the better. And that was a big, you know, epiphany moment for me, where I was like, hmm, what if that’s true? What if the more people who love my child, the better what if I could create, what if I could call in and attract in people who, when she’s not with me, her experience of life is actually benefiting, because they love her and they’re able to teach her or have fun with her in ways that I can’t. And so I started to really shift the lens through which I looked at other people, right, or as I think before, I’d had so much, you know, or like early life and early adulthood trauma with people that I kind of saw every relationship, every new person is like, a tax, every new person would like to take a little bit away or require a little bit. Whereas this was really one of the big healings that Londyn has been for my life has been to start calling in and seeing all the ways in which actually know these new relationships that I’ve cultivated and new depth to existing relationships that I’ve cultivated, because of her are wildly additive, wildly additive to my life.
And yes, they take some investment and yes, I do have to learn how to be good at managing the energies of the people around us and managing the people of people around us, both in my work and the people who helped me with her and the people who helped me with the house and just our friends and community relationships.
You know, there’s that’s, that takes investment. But it’s a really, it’s an investment that pays off really well in ways that have tenderized my heart and have just enriched our lives. So that’s some of the recalibration work was really in de colonizing and recalibrating that that trans of all do it myself. Right so that I could open my heart and open my life to other people, which turned out, you know, turned out down the road, I realized, oh, by the way, I’m a projector. I can’t even really operate in an optimal way in the world without the puzzle pieces of other humans. Right. So it was a very, that was a very big thing for me. So that’s recalibrate.
Let’s talk about Actualize. The actualization work has been really fascinating to do through in parenting, I think a lot of people don’t know. But Ra, the guy who created the traditional human design system, actually had a strong focus on parenting. He had a strong idea that most of us come here born with one unique, divine secret, wonderful wiring and we are taught our whole lives to act in a different way than we are wired to act. And so he thought if parents could just Foster and cultivate individual children’s unique wiring, then more people would be able to operate optimally and human evolution would benefit as a result. I happen to agree with that.
So some of the fun stuff that I’ve done in the I’ve been able to do, I’ve been invited to do in the actualization realm with Londyn has really been to like, both, you might continue to do my own self-discovery work at new depths, but and also to help her understand herself. So I do a lot of teaching her about her own human design type. Her own extroversion, all of her own wiring her wiring is a spirited child, I teach her in four-year-old terms, about her own wiring and how she can best manage it.
So for example, Londyn’s a generator in human design. But for her, I call her a pass. I’m like, Babe, what are you I’m a powerhouse, she knows to say that I’m a powerhouse, right? We need to teach our children to own their wiring and to love it. Right. So she knows she’s a powerhouse, she knows that we can’t I lay down with her to put her to sleep. And then I have to go back to my own room because she generates energy all night, all night, all night, all day all night. And I actually need I am a projector I actually need to not have that generating happening near me physically, while I sleep or I don’t rest. She knows that I need more rest than she does. So she actually we do this beautiful thing where sometimes I’ll be like, Girl, it ain’t happening. Remember, Mama needs more rest than you did. And she’ll go, I’ll give you some energy. And she comes over and puts her head on my head and gives me energy or to put her heart on my heart and give me energy, which is actually how generators and projectors are meant to work. They’re meant to like puzzle pieces together to create in the world. Right?
So I’ve I do a lot of that kind of thing with her. teaching her you know, Londyn is while she’s made the most extroverted extrovert to extrovert she literally charges her batteries off of other people. Whereas I’m a projector and an introvert so I like a lot of one on one. So I get to teach we’ve it’s a constant, co-creative process of molding the clay of like, how can I make sure so I make sure we belong to a club, I can always take her to a place where there are lots of other people for her to recharge her batteries off. While I can still have a one-on-one conversation, or be over here by myself. Like we do a lot of that kind of curating a world that works for us both.
And that’s it’s part of the motivation or the thinking around moving as well from you know, where we live now, in Oakland to Portugal. This process and part has been an elevation she Londyn having linen has elevated my own vision, from just a beautiful life with like, you know, a healed heart and great business, to curating a world and a daily life with this child that is better that will outrank any screen or anything else that she might find attractive.
And the things that I have found that do that for her are horses, the ocean, and really out-of-the-box, schooling situations. And so those were some of my checklist if you will items for moving, I needed to be in a place where there was a community where it was truly family-friendly, where it was easy to find help because we do have a lot of help that makes us makes this household tick of housekeeping weekly, I have two part-time nannies, I have a daycare, we belong to a private club that as a kids club, I need all of that for this to work well. And for me to be able to engage with her fully.
So I needed a place where it was a little bit easier to find that kind of help quality help. And also where she could ride horses daily and surf daily and be in the ocean daily that had lots of other schools, you know. So those are some of the things that went into it factored into my decision-making and search for a new place. Although the truth is we’ll probably end up living in part-time in both places is looking like what will happen for a while. And then yeah, the last thing I’ll say on the Self Mastery method is the alignment piece. Right.
And so, you know, as I came started to come into the awareness that I was really trying to make a family setup work in a geography that wasn’t super family-friendly, where I live now in the Bay Area. I decided I would be open to making a move, move and I would explore that but I didn’t want to rush it And I didn’t want to do with the 12-step people call pulling a geographic.
So pulling a geographic is where you have some issues. And you think that the way you’re going to solve those issues is just by moving to a new place. But you know what they say, wherever you go, there you are. So I kinda was like, hey, if I’m having issues, and I was because during COVID, childcare broke down a lot, a lot, a lot, a lot of times, I literally had to stop working and start my business multiple times.
I thought, you know, I don’t want to pull a geographic. I’ve lived in Oakland for almost 25 years. If I can’t figure out how to get help here. How do I think I’m going to do it in another place? Right. So I went about even while I was scouting other places to live. And this is really an important like principle to catch. If you’re thinking there are big moves or big changes you want to make in your life, wherever you go, there you are.
So we don’t want to make changes by running from problems. Being in the energy of the problem. Hashing the problem flat flogging the problem fondling the problem, and thinking that another place or another job or another mate is going to solve that problem. What you want to do is begin calling forth, begin calling forth solutions begin aligning, that’s the right word begin aligning to solutions, right where you are bloom, where you’re planted before you even make the change, you cannot have a happy ending from a really shitty problem riddled journey. So start aligning to the solution now.
And if nothing, and hey, you may solve all the things and decide you don’t even need to make a change. Or you may align to solutions and realize you’ve created a wonderful prototype to create the next new, you know, version of you the new season in alignment with that prototype. So I was like, Infinite Spirit showed me the way I got really still in quiet with myself. I have to dig deep and keep going to find better help. I had to realize that I had this underlying paradigm that was telling me a city story that every second I was away from her as a second last of our lives. I had to get work on that paradigm and that belief system.
When I did that, I started to be able to set an intention. I wanted to Zen ass Mary Poppins. I didn’t want a basic babysitter. I didn’t want just anybody I can find off the streets. I wanted Zen, Mary Poppins who was super aligned with the way I saw the world and the way Londyn was being raised. And I got her thanks to Alora. And I got her so I got way more help that way. You know, uptick, the amount of help I was getting at home, I decided to join. It’s really a private club, but I’ll call it for ease of reference, a country club that had a kids club that had swim lessons that were it was a mile from my house.
So I didn’t have to get on weightless six months out in advance to get to swim classes. Right? And yes, that was a very terrible way to solve this problem. Right? Need more childcare? Join a country club, but you know, what if it weren’t, because the club’s childcare stayed open during the pandemic, and the club’s childcare continues to be a resource to me on the weekends when I just need an hour of introvert time in the Steam Room. I can take her and she has a blissful time. And I get that time. It’s all good.
And then in it and then let’s see December this last December. Alora my Zen Mary Poppins was walking into my house. And I had been doing some self-coaching on alignment. You know, I have this book concept. I just rewritten the vivid vision for SoulTour, which I’ll share with you soon. I had all these things that were coming down the pike and I was like what’s not in alignment. And what wasn’t in alignment was I had no deep. I had there were several things I was not I had no breaks from getting baby dressed, dropping off picking up. Our weekends were very scheduled.
And in part, that’s because Londyn is a powerhouse. She needs to wear herself out every day so that she can sleep at night. And so Alora walked in the door and I said. “Alora, how often do you do overnight babysitting?” She said twice a month. I said I want them for the year 2022 I want all of your overnights for the year 2022. So in December, I made what Rachael Rogers would call a million-dollar decision. But it was more like a spiritual million-dollar decision. And I booked out every other weekend with my Then Mary Poppins and I checked myself into the Claremont and I hold up. And sometimes I work on the book projects. Sometimes I work on the upgrade event. Sometimes I just have friends meet friends for dinner. You know what I mean?
But I have that consistent, predictable time. And when I needed to make a really last-minute trip to Portugal couple months ago to do a vibe check. We had and I left the baby with Alora I was only gone for four and a half days. I got over there. I had this moment of panic. And I was like, What did I do? And I texted Alora, and she said, but we’ve worked for this. We’ve worked for this.
And we had, we had done this very slow, gradual getting Londyn used to, you know, one night. We did two nights, you know what I mean? We’d had this very gradual build. And the five days was easy for her. Easy for me.
All right, so that’s the recalibration, actualization, alignment way that I think about this gift of a surprise baby. And I’ll tell you, the other universal law that it really affirmed for me was that divine timing is real, and it is in our favor. divine timing is real, and it is in our favor. I was in Portugal, three and a half, or was supposed to be in Portugal, three and a half years ago, and didn’t take that trip, maybe so that I could maybe it was like God pressing pause. So that I would get Londyn, right.
And while at first, the pandemic seemed bizarre, crazy. I mean, I was for sure, in a room with a two-year-old for 21 days by myself. It was also this wonderful gift, I am certain that I have spent more time to share hours of time with Londyn than I have spent with either of my older kids in their whole lives. We have this gift of this deep time together when I wasn’t in a relationship, right? There wasn’t anyone else. It was just us for these years. And you know, that’s probably that will likely change soon. But we have this really beautiful deep time to do skin-to-skin contact, which we hadn’t been able to do. And she was born because I wasn’t her birth mother. I stopped working.
I really was able to reinvent my business in a way that’s like way less. I do way less work and way more guiding. We had COVID together a year ago, we made COVID We made it fashion we were to dues. We listened to ballet music we read from the goddess books every day, we made beautiful friends in the pandemic because Londyn is just a magnet for joy and for wonderful people.
Actually, my friend Elizabeth D alto, who y’all may know, we met in the park, Elizabeth had just moved to Oakland. And Londyn just wouldn’t let her alone. She wouldn’t let her alone. And Elizabeth, a total stranger at the time had to walk us to the car as Londyn would not let her alone. And then a week later, a friend a mutual friend of mine, and Elizabeth calls me and says, Did you meet a woman named Elizabeth in the park? Elizabeth D Alto is in my house right now.
And she’s saying that she met this kid Londyn and she’s like talking about our I think it’s your Londyn I’m like yeah, so we ended up being friends and I’ve been on her podcast and you’ll see are on my things. It’s just been incredibly healing to know what I know and to raise a child knowing what I now know. It’s been an incredible re-parenting experience for myself. And I do want to give credit where it’s due. Londyn is one of my friends first I took her to his restaurant when I first got her and he said oh look elder up.
Oh, she’s a magical baby. She is a cosmic baby she is a magical baby you know the first thing one of her first sentences to me was open the sky Alma she used to call me on my phone she asked me the other day when I die will I become the Evening Star yeah, I’ve decided I can’t tattoo all the stuff that she does all the cosmic stuff she says on my body or I just be covered in tattoos. Alright guys, so that’s the Self-Mastery story of the time I got a surprise baby. Thank you for being here with me. And listening to the story. Oh, I will put the link to the upgrade event where I will guide you through your process of what I call Self-Mastery.
Yes, even some people would call Self-Realization I would call it highest self-realization or self-actualization. But what we’re actualizing is through your sacred self, your big self, not the self that most of us have lived in for so long, which was really conditioned by culture and family and other people’s opinions and expectations. So, I will drop the link to the UPGRADE event in all of the things so you’ll be able to find it, you should come and join me It’s October 21 through 23rd in Berkeley at the Claremont club and spa and you will just leave with new energy, vision, enthusiasm and a new level of appreciation for yourself and for what the plot twists of your life are, therefore. Alright, I will talk to you guys soon.
Head up + heart out,
Tara-Nicholle Kirke, MA, Esq. The Metaphysician Founder + CEO of SoulTour
P.S.: In case you missed it, hereās the link to yesterdayās LIVE, when I told the story of how I used Spiritual Strategy to get an accurate medical diagnosis, after 15 years and 13 foot fractures. (Wheeeeeeeeew.)
I use it to remind me of an Archetype I want to dial upā¦ or a lesson I want to integrate.
So for a few months this year, I wore this beautiful little charm around my neck every single day.
It was an eggāa golden eggā¦ gold on the outside, with a yolky-looking, caramel colored enamel lacquering the inside.
Iād just sat down with a client one day at my club to have lunch and trade updates, when the charm caught her eye.
āOooh, whatās that?!ā she said, pointing.
āItās a golden egg,ā I replied. āLondyn and I are reading Jack and the Beanstalk on repeat these days,ā I chuckled.
āIām wearing it to remind myself that I AM THE MUTHAFU@!NG GOOSE that lays the golden egg. So it behooves me to take extra good care of the goose.ā
We cracked up.
But after lunch, I went to sit in the steam room and had an epiphany.
Iām not the goose. And neither are you.Ā
And hereās why:
Because the goose is a producer.
The goose is a cog in the creative machine, albeit an essential and wonderful cog.
Itās still a cog.
And youāre not a cog.Ā
You are not the goose, Brilliant One.
YOU ARE THE GOLDEN EGG. More accurately, you are the golden eggs, plural.
Mythic and magicalā¦
Limitless in numberā¦
Radiant in lusterā¦
Your True Selfāthe sacred YOU you came here to beā¦ thatās a golden egg.
Your Big Dreamsāthe ones you havenāt yet even given yourself permission to start dreamingā¦thatās a golden egg.
Your unique geniusā¦ spiritā¦ personalityā¦ golden eggs.
Your sacred contractsāthe trillions of things you came here to be, do, have, create and experienceā¦ trillions of golden eggs, homie.
They are limitless.
And so are you.
That charm was a reminder of limitlessnessā¦ a reminder to keep making 100 choices a day to surrender to the delectability of my own big dreams and big destinies.
So the lesson I came here to impart is not to take care of the goose.
The goose is Sourceāthe Limitless Love, the Infinite Intelligence and the Divine Creative Power that formed all worlds, and is flowing assistance to you all the time all the time all the time.
The lesson I came here to impart is that the work you are being called to do in this season is not the work of producing the golden egg.
The golden eggs will be laid.
They want to be laid. The genius within you. The dreams youāve been dreaming. The Big Self youāre here to become, for your own joy and for the benefit of all that is.
They want to be laid, powered by Divine Flow.
Youāre just a conduit, with the wind of All That Is at your back.
So your work in this season aināt about performing, conforming, producing or even self-caring, in the performative sense of the term.
Your work in this season is the work of becoming utterly unresistant to your own genius.
Itās the inner work of seeing where your resistance lies and recalibrating your nervous systems and your belief systems so you can release that resistance and let your NATURAL MASTERY bring you back into alignment with your natural genius and greatness.
Itās the inside job of rediscovering your own unique magic and actualizing all of THAT.
And itās the very interior work of downloading a fly-ass vivid vision for the next season of your lifeā¦ then aligning everything within you and around you so that the assistance that is all around you can flow to you and through you and power your projects under grace, overcome seasons, in perfect, exciting, surprising, wonderful, delightful, delectable ways.
Itās the work of falling back in love with yourselfāand your future, and letting the power of radical, unfettered LOVE direct and energize your lick-the-plate life from here on out.
This is the delectable inner work weāll do together at my upcoming event.
Itās called UPGRADE: Your Money + Your Life, and I assure youā¦ it will be a portal for energy and expansion.
Weāll spend three delicious days together RECALIBRATING, ACTUALIZING and ALIGNING to let the golden eggs of your Big Self and your Big Dreams spark to life.
UPGRADE is a portal for the powerful transformation work that wants to be done within you in this season.
And you know it.
You feel it.
Letās be real: You called me in.
The date is October 21-23, 2022, and weāll meet up at the iconic Fairmont Claremont Club & Spa, just down the street from my house, in Berkeley, California.
Please note that there are only 150 spots. I just signed the contract yesterday, and Iām certain weāll sell out.
The General UPGRADE Experience will take place on October 21st and 22nd, and Iāll be hosting a MAGICAL VIP Day Three Experience on October 23rd. If you want to be one of the Early Early Bird enrollees, register here to secure your spot and get a chance to win a reading of your personal Human Design chartā¦ by me!
Head up + heart out,
Tara-Nicholle Kirke, MA, Esq. The Metaphysician Founder + CEO of SoulTour
P.S.: I only do Human Design readings for my personal coaching clients, and I only coach 5 people a yearā¦ and those engagements start at $25,000.
In other words, this Early Early Bird bonus drawing prize is a very special prize indeed.
P.P.S.: If youāve never invested in your own personal growth or spiritual development, keep in mind that when you cultivate your True Self/golden egg, you cultivate the Square of Self-Mastery: Health, Wealth, Love and Wisdom and Creative Power.Ā
I think we can all agree that thatās worth investing in, Brilliant One.Ā
Itās time. You called me in.
P.P.S.: Let me know if you want me to share more about when I use a checklist (thinking mind) and when I do a vibe check (intuition) during my move to Portugal. Just type THE MOVE in an email to support@soultour.com
On Sunday morning, after Londynās skateboarding lesson, I sat in the hot tub, intentionally resetting my auraā¦ washing my energy of the accumulated stresses of the long weekend, fine-tuning my state for the delicious, yet challenging, journey ahead.
Iād just received word from an iconic venue that they would, indeed, be able to host my first major live event this October.
That email had me feeling like:
At first.
But as I turned on my old lawyer brain to review the details of the proposal, I could feel the thinking brain begin to do what it does: TAKE OVER.
Troubleshoot.
Think it all through.
Forecast all the unwanted things that could happen.
Pinpoint the as-yet unanswered questions, like who will handle what and how will this all play out?
I could feel the ghost of my old, long-retired Inner Critic try to knock at the door of my thinking mind, like the witch in Snow White offering up a poison apple in the form of the thought: Thatās only 4 monthsā¦ youāre already behind!
But Iām fortunate that Iāve been in the Spiritual Strategy game a loooong time.
In fact, I created this particular version of this particular game, in collaboration with Source, of course.
So, while my thinking mind said: Take Londyn to Kidsā Club and start working on the marketing planā¦
The Divine Mind that I am said: Take Londyn to Kidsā Club, get into the hot tub, start working on your stateā¦
and DREAM.
And thatās what I did.
Because I know that when I feel that inner pang, to say āah! I just hit a new Upper Limit!ā and congratulate myself for doing it right. Because you only hit Upper Limits when you leave the la-la land of your fear trances and self-narcotizing comfort zones.
And I know the power of a Big, Delectable Dream that feels like licking the plate of your life.
I know what happens when you fall in love with your own future. You become unstoppable. Your unlived life comes online. You get access to new powers youāve never accessed before.
I know that the power of that emotion will carry you over every mountain and through every valley you will inevitably pass through on the way to being the being you came here to be, and diving into the deep waters of fulfilling your sacred contracts.
I know that, under Universal law, there are no happy endings to miserable journeys.
As a Projector in the Human Design System, my energy and aura are so encompassing that my students often report getting a contact high from being in the room with meā¦ so I take great responsibility for tending to the energy I bring into any room.
And thatās how I knew that the first steps for the perfect unfolding of this transcendently magical, transformationally delicious event have nothing to do with budgets or spreadsheets or even staffing, though all of those will come together in due season.
In my Self-Mastery Method, the first step to create anything you ever want to create on the journey to fulfilling your Self and your Sacred Contracts is to RECALIBRATE.
This weekend, I took the first BIG step into the next season of my Big Self and my Big Dream: RECALIBRATION.
I got into receptive mode.
I rested.
I invited Spirit to show me the way.
I saw where old patterns wanted to rear their heads. And I noted them, named them, surfed the wave of them and let them pass on by.
I stopped trying to think the whole thing through.
I stopped trying to figure it out.
I stopped trying to problem solve.
I did an energetic upgrade to get into the exact, expansive, limitless state of being I want to transmit to every single brilliant soul in the room at UPGRADE (and that includes you, Brilliant One).
I ran a few miles and threw some weight at the gym, got in the steam room and then let all those energetic ya-yas dissipate into the swirling bubbles of the hot tub.
And as I closed my eyes, I could see the vivid vision for UPGRADE.
I could literally see YOU, dressed to the nines, heart open with the resonance of the teachings I transmit at the eventā¦ downloading your own vivid vision, with my guidance, and re-discovering your own delicious magic.
I could hear the music. Taste the food. Smell the fragrance. See the art.
I could see the dream, in technicolor, just like Iād seen it when I downloaded the early vision for this eventāUPGRADE: Your Money + Your Lifeāin the first place, a few months ago.
Your energetic intelligence, your spiritual intelligenceā¦ what we call your Divine Mindāis about 100,000 times more intelligent than your thinking, cognitive mind is.
Thatās because your thinking brain is highly susceptible to fear and conditioning, so it will often lead you down a path of fear-based, conditioning-based momentum.
On top of that, we live in a culture that is entranced by the immature masculine traits of over-intellectualism, production, conformity, performance and the lie that rapid output is somehow superior to Divine Timing.
Thatās why most people who have a big vision, dream or goal immediately overthink all the joy out of it, suck the life out of it and never actually do it, because they lose the inner tug-of-war between their Wise Inner Being and their Hindering Inner Critic who hijacks the brain, pleading a very convincing case that youāre bananas if you think you can pull that off.
So hereās a guideline for you. Your thinking mindā aka your head centers, in Human Design: crown and ajnaāare good for following things, and the following things ONLY:
Downloading brilliant, inspired ideas from higher realms (and you know āem when you feel āem).
Dreaming Literally, slowing your thoughts down a bit and letting yourself daydream about hypothetical scenarios that feel good to you, just because they do, without trying to make anything happen. When you do this, you begin to tune your heart to the emotional channel that allows you to see and energize all the opportunities and resources and collaborators around you that want to co-create your dream with you.
Documenting. Your thinking mind is very good at tracking and measuring, which are very occasionally helpful functionsā¦ just know that it wants to do this way more than is helpful, and because itās susceptible to fear and conditioning, it will almost always look for ways to track, measure. Rush and judge your progress as deficient. Again: Not helpful. This is one reason why the most prolific creators are those who suspend the budgeting, tracking and spreadsheet-ing until a stage of the process where the creation has already taken root.
Andāthis will likely run contrary to everything youāve ever been taughtāyour thinking mind is very BAD at doing the following things:
Desiring. Your braināand your Inner Criticāwill have you set goals that seem logical, linear, smart andā¦ rarely achieved, or rarely satisfying when they are achieved. But the desires of your heart are another animal entirely and, like Divine Order, are very rarely logical or linear.
Deciding what to do with your life. Once you desire a pure desire, you must add the spark of decisionācommitmentāto go from a dream or desire to an intention. Your mind wants to argue for your limitations, not your expansion, so donāt let it run your decisions. Thatās the role of your intuition, which āspeaksā differently for different people, according to how weāre uniquely designed. (More on that later.)
Determining how things will or should play out. Your thinking brain wants to determine all the hows, but 9 times out of 10, life will throw a few plot twists in the mix. So, write an action plan if you must, but keep your attachments to it verrrrrry light, grasshopper. To the extent possible, let the Divine handle the how, and just watch for the natural next steps to line up and light up before you.
I have this thing I like to say to Londyn as I whisper sweet somethings to her before bed.
āYou have a world-class brain,ā I tell her, with every intention to instill that as an unconscious narrative she doesnāt even realize sheās thinking, but will serve her for a lifetime.
āI have a world-class brain,ā she repeats drowsily.
And you do, too, Brilliant One.
But never forget that your world-class brain is your servant, not your master.
Head up + heart out,
Tara-Nicholle Kirke, MA, Esq. The Metaphysician Founder + CEO of SoulTour
P.S.: Look for a save-the-date for UPGRADE: Your Money + Your Life later this week!
P.P.S.: Let me know if you want me to share more about when I use a checklist (thinking mind) and when I do a vibe check (intuition) during myĀ move to Portugal. Just type THE MOVE in an email to support@soultour.com
P.P.S.: Want more like this? Become a SoulTour subscriber for just $11 a month.
Today, I’m here to talk to you about something that’s pretty personal, actually, I’m going to talk to you about the process that some of you and I’m going to start talking to you about this process a lot, actually, I’m in the process of making a major move to a new country.
And I want to share with you a lot about how I’m actually living that process out you that I teach, right. So using human design, we’re going to talk mostly today about human design, how that’s playing, and how that’s an incredibly powerful tool in my toolkit to make these very big decisions.
But it’s really this talk is really going to be about this is Transformation Tuesday. So that’s what we’re here.
And we’re going to talk about how I’ve used human design, how I’m using spiritual strategies, I’m using the Self Mastery method, which is a framework that goes like recalibrate, actualize online, over and over and over again, throughout your life throughout your being to allow my very biggest self to live out the big dream of living in another country. So I’m going to share some of that process with you. And I’m going to share some of it today.
And I’m gonna start sharing bits and pieces of it as it plays out in real time. So as some of you know, I got back from Lisbon, like less than 48 hours ago. And as you all know, many of you know, I was really on a mode and a trajectory. To be in Mexico, I was very, very close to signing a lease in Mexico, if you had talked to me, if you had asked me a month ago where I would move, I would have said Mexico City.
So a lot has changed in the last month. That’s how it is when you work in accordance with the laws of the universe. So know this, like divine what law of the universe number one is that divine order is real and it is in your favor.
That just means that you are not in this alone, that there are forces and powers higher than you bigger than you more powerful than this physical you that are helping you that desire to help you that are conspiring with all the other forces in the universe to help and bless you. lining. And if you will begin to trust that you can sort of watch and see as divine order lines up in lights up the steps before you all right, right into your biggest self right into your biggest dreams.
The next universal law that I usually teach is that divine timing is real and in your favor. And divine timing is real. Most people want that to mean that it accelerates you don’t have to worry about feeling behind because you can be accelerated, you know, at the good judgment of the Divine. And that’s true.
But the flip side is true to even I love how Tosha silver says it she says divine timing means that even your delays will benefit you. So let’s start there. 25 years ago, I moved from the Central Valley of California where I’d grown up to the Bay Area in the San Francisco Bay area where I still live 25 years later. And it was an incredibly mad, magical, mystical process that I did not even fully understand until recently.
All the assistance that flowed to me all the clarity that flowed to me all the invitations that were issued to me in that process of moving here I made it seem very inevitable. And like super clear, like clear, resounding yes. Like the universe green lights were all lighting lighting up. Even though, everyone I knew at the time, Oakland had very bad publicity. And everyone I knew was like, oh, Clint, what are you doing moving to there, but I just knew I was very young. I was 2025 years ago. So I was very young. I was like a really cute dog with a bone. I was like, no, no, this what’s happening?
This is actually what’s happening. And I moved here and I moved here in one summer I lost 60 pounds, I got divorced, I moved here with my two children at the time, we were very young, I was single, I was super young. And people were like, are you bananas? You don’t know anyone there, what are you doing and I moved here, it was one of those moves that you made that truly, it feels like a plot twist to people from the outside looking in. But it was truly a milestone for me on my spiritual journey.
It was a move that allowed me to leave behind the small self that I had been living into up to then, and to become the big self that wanted to be allowed to become at that time, right.
And so fast forward to, you know, the last few years, especially in the pandemic, things started to feel really like, I don’t know, this, just like I needed to go, and I’ll talk to you, I’ll do another separate video on why I chose to move and why just to start the process that I’ve been doing for two years now, which has been a process of actually scouting out, you know, letting I call it letting places letting locations wooed me, but it’s really been like a process of going on scouting trips to various places, various countries, various cities, to see what lined up and lit up for me.
And that couple years felt like a long time to me because I’m very much a person who like knows I have a lot of inner authority.
The Human Design System has been wonderful for me to begin to learn and master because it gives names to your authorities. And you go oh, yeah, I recognize that I’ve always known that that’s how I’ve always made decisions, or that’s I’ve always known things worked out when I listened to that inner guidance.
So in the Human Design System, I have what’s called splenic authority, which is just like a very intense intuition that operates in the moment, it doesn’t take me long to know if something is right or not for me. All right. So this few years of fact that it was taking a few years for me to like really hone in and narrow in on what was the right next place for me and my four year old. But like a long time for me.
And I also know, you know, I knew two things I knew this was me making decisions on geographic moves with a four year old, which is not a thing that I’ve had to do, especially like, you know, to another country. And I at this point in my life, I’m very clear that divine timing is real. So I was clear that my delays were benefiting me.
And I will tell you in the last 18 months of quote unquote delays in my move, where things just hadn’t quite lined up right enough yet for me to actually make the move. I was diagnosed with a complex medical problem that I had been misdiagnosed about for like 15 or 20 years and was able to like get that addressed and start, you know, keep frankly, physically healing and recovery.
I experienced this incredible emergence from the deep shadow work that I had been doing for for literally decades that you know, childhood trauma you and I had been doing for decades, I shared with my students that I did a six week protocol of ketamine. Once I had I had experienced a retriggering of some of my old childhood trauma.
I did a six week ketamine experience, it was like an exponentiated or on all of the personal growth work I had done up to them. So it literally was like restored my ability to dream in in Technicolor again. And then I kind of came into the season of light work, where I was really doing the work of aligning to you know, using all the self discovery work that I teach and that I know using my secret archetypes you know to shine the light of awareness on my old patterns but also to move into the like spiritually mature archetypes that I’m now creating into a system called the Self Mastery archetypes. Oh my gosh.
On Instagram, I’m looking at Academy right now and ask the universe to send me a sign out of my love. There is yours. There’s your sign. Strong recommend with lots of coffee but strong recommend and basically whatever you get out of the ketamine and psychedelic healing experience for PTSD in particular that’s what I can speak to. You get out of it, it is a multiplier on whatever other personal growth work you have done.
So I have friends and no know people who have done a ketamine experience of healing for depression mostly who got a ton out of it and they hadn’t done any personal growth growth work before but I will Tell you maybe this is a sign that I need to do a series on just on the ketamine experience that I had. I’ve done 25 years of therapy and you know, meditation, prayer, all of the things, you know, the things that I teach. So the sick the six week ketamine experience for me, it was like, out of this world, it was actually out of this world in a wonderful way.
So as I came out of that experience, and I was feeling like, hey, it’s time to come out of the shadow work, you guys, I’m so glad these last couple of years of this pandemic had been a time for people to really, you know, face their shadows, people have developed or started to cultivate a willingness to do shadow work that they did not have before. But yo, like, the book says, Yea, though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death does not say to pitch a tent in the valley of the shadow of death.
And that’s what I see a lot of people doing, like, they want to do the shadow work, and then they get into the shadow work, and then they like are in the shadow, and they don’t know how to come back out. And y’all in this season, I’m gonna tell you what, I have some events coming up where I’m literally going to deliver some prophecies. In this season, we are being called if you can hear my voice, I’m talking to you.
We are being called to rewrite some programs, the programs are being rewritten. Really, this is all about the call to adventure that we’re being issued is how much do you want to participate in the rewriting of these universal cosmic programs that run through us as a collective and through you individually. And on the other side of the rewriting of the program is like radical wholeness and liberation and joy, being your biggest self and doing the things that there’s just, you know, if you don’t do them now, when you’re gonna do what I’m saying.
So as I came out into the light stage, and started to really mature into the strengths and unique sacred callings and sacred contract fulfillment pieces of my own wiring, you know, I was doing the work that I’ve been teaching for years on the sacred money archetypes, which is beautiful work, because it does help you see why you do what you do. It helps you see what your shadow patterns are, it helps you shine the light of awareness on them and dissolve and just give yourself permission to make different choices. Right.
And so I was sort of leaning into that and doing that work, when I came across a system that was new or to me and it wasn’t brand new to me. But I came across a new system called the Human Design System, new ish to me, let’s call it that. And I’ll call it newish to me because I was introduced you to human design years ago, and I wasn’t ready. I just wasn’t ready for it.
I needed to have that experience of he trauma healing, battling the death of Mother complex, and my psyche is what Carl Jung was say, I needed to do some of that work, I needed to have the medical experience I had had, I needed to get the surprise baby that I got I needed to come to I need to grieve some things and mourn some things and come out the other side. And when I did, I had a conversation with somebody who said, Oh, you and me are probably like, oh, generally.
You know, I don’t know anything about am a projector. And so I went on, and I was like, Oh, I hate not knowing why went on, I went on and I started to research. I’m now like very far down the process of being certified as a specialist in quantum human design.
But at the time, I was just curious about what it meant to be a projector, PE. So let me tell you like a two minute, I’m gonna give you a two minute primer on what human design is, is this system. And then I’m gonna share with you start sharing with you what my type is, what my strategy is, what my authority is, what my profile is something about my centers, and I’ll tell you how that is factoring in this season right now, to my decision, where to move. All right.
So Human Design System is a self discovery system, it is an it is you could think of it as an assessment system that’s akin to like the Myers Briggs or the Enneagram, or the archetypes or you could think of it it is the difference between human design and those systems is that it is not personality based, and that you don’t take a quiz that asks you to tell it, how you do things. It is somewhat astrological in that you simply put in your birth data, your date of birth, your place of birth, your time of birth, and it tells you what you are.
And I’ll share more about the origins of human design in another video, but just know that what it does is it takes this whole it sort of looks at humanity as a whole and breaks all humans down into five all very essential all very necessary puzzle pieces. Five types.
There are five types in human design are Right. And each type is similar to the archetypes in that it’s descriptive of why you do what you do and gives a name to that pattern. But to think this human design is a system is way more than the archetypes. It offers varying levels of depth and complexity and specificity. So that we start with the five types. And each type has a decision making strategy, that is the best decision making strategy for that type.
So in that way, it’s not just a description of your patterns. It’s truly a powerful roadmap for how you get from the narrative, you’ve been living into the most actualized version of your potential big, true, sacred self. And it gives you a very, some very specific do this, this is how you make decisions. That’s what we call your strategy.
This is how the inner the patterns of energies within you will show up in ways that you can optimize by using these various authorities to know your inner authorities to know an ex ternal actually authorities for some people, to know what the right decision for you on any subject or at any time is, right. So it’s it’s much more than just a way to understand yourself. It offers you actual strategies and tools as a roadmap for making good decisions, right. And those tools help you do what you do be the best you can be be as effective as you can be at helping further both your own life and your own joy in your own potential and human evolution. All right.
So in Human Design System, my type is called projector. And a projector, the way that we are supposed to create in the world is not to go out and make it happen to have ideas and have a list of things, have an action plan and work really hard and make it all happen.
No, projectors are actually a type that are not supposed to work that much. Our job is actually to guide it’s to guide the work of certain other types. And to guide humanity a bit to constantly kind of be guiding and course correcting humanity toward its highest expression. You know, just kind of like the genes and the genes in your body can express in highways and in low ways. I think the spiritual genes of humans are like that they can express in highways or low ways. And it’s the job of the projector to help guide humanity toward its highest expression. All right, in the way we’re supposed to make decisions is not to go out and force stuff and make stuff happen grind hard hustle, none of that.
It’s to wait for the in visitation, we are supposed to projectors are wired and designed our unique sacred design is to Master Systems to wait to give our advice and our guidance until it is requested. And to do that, you know, very available, intentional waiting for others to recognize our mastery of systems and to invite us to give them guidance. Alright, so that’s what wait for the invitation means. And it doesn’t mean if you are a projector, and you’ve heard anything about human design, there are people out in these internet streets. And these YouTube streets talking about you got to wait for an invitation to do anything that is not the case, you’re really supposed to wait for an invitation if you’re a projector to make the big decisions in your life, you know, to enroll in, in grad school or to move to a new place or to you know, link up with a mate.
The big decisions, these are invitations of the sort that really come every few years. All right. So how am I using that this system? And in my process of moving well, for a couple years, like I said, I’ve been doing scouting trips have gone to a bunch of places I had Mexico on my mind a lot because I love Mexico. And I also had some just enter. I just hadn’t quite hit it yet. I just wasn’t there yet. And I kind of made a decision. I’ve just moved to Mexico City and I give it a year and it’s been that year going to other places because Mexico City is central to a lot of places and I love it as a city and I had some really no qualms but I was like alright, I’ll just go for a year and we’ll just try it. Well,
I have a an advisor who I’ve had for a while now who’s kind of one of his main things that he does is that he’s a real estate clairvoyant, meaning that he has a great gift of sight and insight and wisdom that he brings to bear for people who are specifically seeking wisdom and help me You know, real estate decisions.
And I hadn’t actually talked to him in a super long time as I was making my decisions around Mexico, because I didn’t want to hear what he had to say. So I just didn’t ask. But I have this like golden thread drop into my awareness is really like divine download, like nudge, what you need to give him an email, and just let him just give him a list of cities that you’re thinking about. And let him tell you what hits he gets from those cities without giving him any more information. And I did. And he said a bunch of things. But one thing he said was Do not move to Mexico City.
The second thing he said was these other cities in Mexico, some of these other cities, and he named them are good would be good for you. He said, your business and your finances will be great in those cities. And he said, and I had thrown some cities on the list, that I actually wasn’t really, really thinking about that much. But for whatever reason, I wanted to mix it up. So I think we want to list including Lisbon, Portugal.
He said, your business and your finances would be good in these days. Your business, your finances and your love life with thrive in Lisbon. And I said, you know Lisbon to city I actually had had a plan to be in Lisbon right before the payments are right before I got the baby actually, like the week after I got the baby. I was supposed to be in Portugal for a talk.
And then I got a surprise baby. So I never made that trip was three years ago. And since then, I have had probably 100 People tell me Lisbon is for you. And every time I just say I’ve never been there. I don’t like to say that. And I had a vacation to Mexico to San Miguel. In Mexico, San Miguel de Allende, I had a vacation book to his sitter already booked. And I thought you know what, I’m just going to he said, Listen, I was like, I’m just gonna put my body in that place and do via check. So I booked a very quick trip a five day trip to Portugal. A couple days in the countryside in this town. I was interested in couple days and Lisbon.
Found a woman online he’s like, helps families relocate to Lisbon. Blogger grabbed her like literally was like, Can you consult with me tonight, I’ll be there Tuesday. She got on the phone with me. We went through and like made some plans educated myself about schools because these are scouting trips. This is not straight vacation, y’all. Actually, I’m going to do a video on how I do a scouting trip to New country because it’s like a different thing. So I have vacation moments. And I have scouting moments. So in five days I did for school tours.
As toured a number of areas we might live I met with this company called boundless that creates very soft places to land for families who want to have gap year or worldschooling experiences with their children. And I spent 12 hours touring with Lisbon actual city. I never usually tell people before I take trips like this, I don’t usually announce them until I get back. Because I like to be in the trip. I’m not. I’m not doing it for the gram. I love y’all on the gram, but I’m not doing it for the gram. So I like to be in the trip. This time. I had another golden thread you know post post where you’re going so I posted on my Facebook page on Instagram, on the black in Portugal group. I’m glad you love this story. I’m just telling you a real real deal. Now I’m not gonna say you’re even scripted. I’m just like, I need to bring my people with me on these journeys. Episode I’m black in Portugal group families moving to Portugal group, my Facebook page and Instagram that I was doing this trip. Do Who do I know in Lisbon? Who do you know in Lisbon?
I had like 55 people. not exaggerating. Introduce me to beautiful people in Lisbon. I had people in Can I pick you up from the airport? I was like what do they even do that? Like how warm and welcoming are you if you don’t even know me? They’re offering premium from the airport. I have lunches and dinners booked. I woman from the black and Portugal group. Join me on a tour of this castle in Sintra. i It was just like, actually, it was a whole entire vibe.
And a friend of a friend, a friend of a friend who owns a restaurant and a guest house in Lisbon show up and say oh, let me let me take you around and show you what I love about Lisbon. She told me around for six hours we walked through this room for six hours. And the next day one of her friends picked me up and drove us around Lisbon for six hours. It was just a whole entire vibe. So as I’m doing these trips, so again, I’m a projector My job is to wait for the invitation. I go meet with the people at boundless who have this magnificent in Sintra, which is the town have already honed it Not on because there’s like progressive schools, equestrian center for the baby, serve for the baby. And for me, like all the things that I want good internet, beautiful architecture, nature, but also right next to the city, I need to have fun by the beach moments.
That’s how I vibe spotlight all of it right there. And other black people like I go toward these private schools in these beautiful little areas in the countryside of Portugal, and I’m seeing seven 810 black kids. So my kid won’t be the only you know, brown little girl at school. It’s like a vibe. So I’m at the boundless office and the woman I’m talking with this, like, really wouldn’t love Tara. And this is the thing. So in human design, there is a kite for projectors. It’s not just any old invitation. Okay, it’s not an invitation, just that you see a Facebook ad that seems like it’s speaking to you know, that can be a universal green light that can trigger some resonance. But that’s not a correct invitation for projector, a correct invitation for a projector to make a big move in their life is like, Tara, we would like for you to come here and do this. And it must be issued by a party that has the authority and the resources to make that invitation. All right.
So I’m sitting across the table from this woman, and she’s like, you know, what we would really love to, we would love to invite you to come here and be here for you know, three months or six months or 12 months with London, let me show you where you would live. Let me show you where her school would be cross the street, like literally, you can walk across this horse. And I’m like, dang, she only didn’t know, like, waiting for the invitation. Right? My authority in human design is splenic authority, which is a deep in the moment intent, intuitive knowing. Now for two years, I’ve been going places saying I’m just going to do a vibe check, I’m just gonna put my body in a place and see how I feel. That is actually correct form, there’s a correct authority for exercising the strategy of waiting for the invitation for me in the Human Design System.
My Profile in human design is called a three five profile, they actually call it is an awful name. Let me say this. In traditional human design, the vocabulary is very shocking and aggressive, because the creator of human design desired to shock to shatter your condition to small self into awareness of the conditioning that you’re operating under. So he used very aggressive language.
So my three five profile in traditional human design is actually called the murder heretic. But I like to call it be experimenter revolutionary, all right, like, like my profile is kind of profile that energy patterns of experimenting and trial and error in life with big things, and then coming back and sharing the wisdom that I glean in a way that shatters some old programming and conditioning for the people I share with That’s why they say heretic, right? Because people like me were once declared heretics. My center you know, there’s nine centers in human design included that are that are roughly corresponding to the chakras and Hindu spirituality I have an open G center all right. And open G Center I would later learn corresponds to a person who must be in the right place with the right people to feel in alignment and if you’re not in the right place or with the right people for you at that time you will feel stuck you will feel like the law of attraction ain’t working right for you.
You will feel like things are hard right? So this last few years where I haven’t per se felt like things were hard but I just didn’t it wasn’t I was very much feeling like it was time to move even though my life here is great and other people around me were like but why would you move you have this great house was great place and it’s great you live and I do and it also was like it’s time to go and I know when it’s time to make a move. All right. So the first invitation I had was actually just a suggestion by my real estate clairvoyant who was like girl you need to get list then all of my friends friends once I said I’ll walk home we’re like, come do this come do this. Come do this. Come do this come to this. Then I get there. And my friend at boundless is like we would love to invite you to be here like come here for this period of time.
Multiple of the schools we toured and people in those areas were like this. This place is for you. You should come here you should be here. And then I thought it was really hilarious like I get to my so I get out of the country. Yeah, my resort little moment in the country, I go into Lisbon, I check into my hotel. And on the hotel, like table is a little card from the hotel that says, Tara-Nicholle Kirke, we invite you to get lost in our city. We invite you No, no, we invite you to lose yourself in our city. And I just so remember that phrasing because I remember, it just reminded me of when I moved here to the Bay Area. 25 years ago, one of the best decisions I’ve ever made in my life, where I remember thinking, I’m literally shedding my small self, I’m losing my own self, right?
So that can become one becoming. And that’s how this experience of like discovering Portugal felt in a four day period of time, it was like, invitation after invitation after invitation after invitation via check, hit after vibe check hit in line with my authority, invitations that were correct for my human design type. Right?
So as I teach the Self Mastery method, the steps are recalibrate, actualize, and align. And all this self discovery work we do of understanding why we do what we do, breaking the pool of our patterns, and learning the stuff the correct strategies for our wiring in a court, you know, as per the archetypes, young in psychology, neurobiology, your attachment styles, whether you’re an extrovert or an introvert, whether you have what your sacred money archetypes are, and what your human design types and profiles and strategy and authority and centers and profiles are n gates and channels, I mean as a very detailed system.
As I was just sitting there meditating on experience, I was like, wow, like how easy I’ve been asking for years, my students know this, I asked all the time, how easy Can I let this be, and how easy you can let it be to start living into your big self and doing your big dreams is to actually like dive deeper surrender to your big self, and surrender to a system that really resonates as true for you that offers you some real tools and decision guidance for the big choices and for the big timing of the choices that you will need to make in the next season of your life as you also come out of the shadow work and into the light work and into the Self Mastery work.
All right, so I have a million announcements coming down the pike, I have a live event that’s going to be coming up this fall our first live big live event ever. I hope you will join me it will be a whole entire s vibe. And it’ll be a very deep guided journey, you know, to see which mental monsters are running your freakin life to dissolve and befriend and transform them to understand your own archetypes and your own human design and begin working with it to create a new maximum awake, maximum alive vision for your life. And to get my help and guidance in getting from there to from here to there.
And look good doing it y’all. I’m not playing okay, this is urgent for me. This is it. This is what we’re here to do. Alright, so I love you. That was it for our transformation Tuesday. Not a whole lot of Mike drops. But I did want to share all that with you. I’m going to be sharing a lot of my own stories past present and like really present over the next few weeks. Let me know how they land for you.
Let me know what questions you have about human design. Like I said, I will I am like becoming a specialist in quantum human design, adding it to our set of strategies that we use in the School of self mastery at soul tour. All right, I love you. Keep your head up. Keep your heart out. I will see you on the next Transformation Tuesday. If not before then. Alright, see you too. I love you too.
If you are new, do me a favor and like this video, share this video, share this channel. If you’re on YouTube, subscribe and hit the bell notification. Go to soultour.com and go to soultour.com/subscribe if you want us to send these to your inbox on Tuesdays and also send you a weekly version of my daily ritual practice on Saturdays along with some other stuff I want you to read that week.
Head up + heart out,
Tara-Nicholle Kirke, MA, Esq. The Metaphysician Founder + CEO of SoulTour
P.S.: Want more like this? Become a SoulTour subscriber for just $11 a month.
