I’m talking a lot this week, a bunch of things are happening. One is I’m launching, I’m very softly quietly doing the very earliest, earliest bird registration launch. And for my event in October, which is called upgrade your money and your life. I’m holding it at the iconic Clermont club and, and spa here in Berkeley, California, down the street from my house. 

And because a season of upgrades is always, always, always a season of plot twists. This week, I’m talking a lot with you about plot twists, I’m telling you a bunch of my own self-mastery stories, a bunch of the stories of the plot twists that have comprised my life, my magical and ever more wonderful. 

Alright, so I want you to note to catch the principles to begin one is that every season of upgrade is a season of plot twist. So you got to loosen your control if you think that you are the director of the universe. If that is the delusion you ever fall under, you got to let go of that control if you want to truly have an upgrade season, all right, because you’re and the other thing is the other principle I want you to catch now is to trust that your wise inner being, which is that piece of the Divine that is, is in you, speaks to you within you that still small voice. That is God in you, that piece of you always knows what you really are here for what you really want. It always knows what your highest self really is, and looks like and feels like. 

So whenever you’re thinking thoughts that are very limiting whenever you’re explaining your limitations in a way that feels really constricting. Whenever there’s a plot twist in your circumstances, and your reaction is like I can’t do this, I’m not up for this. Right? Whenever you’re spending all your time in the paralysis of analysis, because you’re trying so mightily to plan perfect action. 

So that note nothing unwanted ever takes place in your life. Just know that you can always trust no matter how unclear you think you are in your cognitive mind about what it is that you really want. Your wise inner being always knows what you really want your big dreams, your highest, that highest self shit, okay. 

And a lot of times as you are setting goals that may still have remnants of threads of external validation, cultural condition, family conditioning in them. If you find yourself not being able to accomplish those goals, or you find yourself accomplishing them and not feeling fulfilled, you can always know that you know, Abraham Hicks always says you can’t really get off the path, you’re wise inner being is often trying to get you to someplace higher enter than your cognitive mind will ever even set a goal to be to take you on. Great. 

I want to tell you a story Self Mastery story today, but the time I got a surprise, baby.

So some of y’all know me and you know that I have it feels like 1000 children, but I have three children. I have a 30-year-old, 29-year-old, and a four-year-old. And I’m going to tell you about the time I got the four-year-old who might just be the best human they’ve made so far. And all the humans they made. She ranks up there for me. 

So let’s begin at the beginning which is you know, I grew up in a family that is I grew up in a very woman cherishing family in many ways. All right. I grew up in a family where my grandmother was very, it was very much the matriarch. My father’s mother was very much the matriarch and that matriarchy was presided over by her and her three sisters. And I spent a lot of time with my grandmother and she cherished her sisters, cherished, cherished, cherished her sisters. She cherished me

She made it really clear that she cherished me. And she would tell me things my whole life even once I got to be an adult, she’d say, you know, you’ve done she called me Tara Berra, Turnberry, you’ve done so well. Your life is great. You just need a little girl. Because I had, you know, my older two kids are both boys. And she loved them too. But she said, you just need a little girl, you just need a little girl. And I always secretly wanted a little girl. But my sort of marriage, relationships and life, that part of my life didn’t play out in a way that I thought was responsible to have more biological children at that time, all right. 

But I always secretly hurt I always had this little smoldering secret desire for a little girl. And my friends know, as we got into our, like, late 30s and early 40s. You know, some of my friends even were starting menopause. And they would be like, Why aren’t you glad we’re not having any more kids. And I never said anything. I always just be like, because I was like, I won’t say what I will never do. But I knew I had this smouldering little desire for another child, maybe more than one child, but I knew one more. And I also knew how manifesting works. 

I knew how I knew my own magic, I know that I have the magic, sometimes I can make the phone ring, I can decide on one thing and download it. And I hadn’t really put any intentional thought into it. But I will say this sometimes the things that manifest the most perfect are the things that you desire, that you hold the most likely. You just desire it early. You have no resistance to it, and you’re not trying to make it happen. 

Sometimes that’s the stuff that literally just drops into you. And that is basically what happened with me and this child. So, my grandma, Mother transitioned back into pure positive soul spirits or Scott energy in let’s say, I want to select December 2018. By April of 2019, I was back home living my wonderful bon vivant to travel the world life, I had a full speaking slate. I was going to Montana for the Athena Pac Conference. 

I remember my calendar because it was actually such a perfect calendar at the time for me. And it was such a striking sequence of events that took place. So I was going to Montana to Bozeman for the Athena pet conference where I intend to hold the role of opening their sacred space for their conference. Then I had like two weeks and then I was going to go speak for the first time at a fest for Mindvalley in Portugal, in the Algarve. And I’ll tell you this, I had never I’d been around the world, I had never been to Portugal at that time. Or talking spring 2019. 

I had always heard people say like, when Portugal came up in conversation, people would be like, Hmm, you should go there. It’s kind of like for you, you would really like it there. It’s kind of like your vibe. And I always like, and I just never got around to it. So Mindvalley booked me for this session, to speak at a list actually about my book, the transformation, the book that I was really heavily promoting and working with that this material at the time, the transformational consumer, I was just beginning that transition from working exclusively in marketing and business on the transformational consumer work to you know, beginning soul tour, beginning to work with people as a spiritual strategist, metaphysicians Self Mastery guide. 

So I had this trip booked to speak at Mindvalley. And I booked some extra time, I was going to just spend some extra time in Lisbon, spend some extra time around Lisbon, to explore it and catch whatever, you know, do vibe check.

And I never took that trip. I never took that trip, which as some of you know, spoiler alert. I’m now in the process of moving to the slow process, but the process of moving to Portugal. So this was like some years in the making without me working on moving all of this time. It was just a seed that had been planted. And I had taken the natural next step to cultivate the seed. But I never took that trip. 

Because one day I was sitting on the deck at the Claremont on at the Claremont where we’re having the upgrade event Mmm, it’s the private club that I belong to here in the Bay Area was sitting on the deck one Friday afternoon is drinking champagne and eating french fries, which is what I used to do on Friday afternoon. And I was having lunch with my friend Katie, who I worked with a million years ago when I ran Content Marketing at Trulia. And I got I will never forget this. I got this, Katie had just moved into my neighborhood. 

I’m sitting across from her and I get this phone call. And I see this number come up several times. And I won’t even I’m not going to bore you with the details, but the long and the short of the phone call. I was on the phone for a couple minutes. I asked a couple questions. And then I hung up and I was like, “Katie, I think I have to go pick up a baby. I think I have to go get this baby.” And this baby is the baby that you now know is Londyn, my four-year-old. I think we have to get this baby. And at the time Londyn was my, is my biological granddaughter who I have since adopted. But at the time, I didn’t know Londyn. 

Now I had I was in the waiting room and she was born. But I didn’t see her that day. And then I had met her like twice just because of the circumstances with my son. Her father who is developmentally disabled has a genetic disorder. Got some stuff going on. And her mother who I did not know and I won’t because that part is her story. I will not put her business in the streets. I don’t even know our business but in the streets. But because of the circumstances I did not really know this baby. So I met her twice. She was like 16 or 17 months old. And pick up the phone this day out of the blue. And I’m like, All right. Okay. I bet. 

So hang up the phone. I’m like, Hey, I think I gotta go pick up this baby. Can you sense and I love Katie for this and that’s why I’m calling her by name. Katie says You better come by my house. Because I’ve got my kids, my kids old car seats still in the garage. So we literally drove from the Claremont our homes are like a mile away, drove a mile to her home. She literally went into her garage, got the car seat out, put it in my car. And I went and picked up a baby. This was like the day or two days maybe after Easter 2019. 

And she has been with me 100% of every day since that day, she won’t be with me 100% of every day for ever. According to her, she told me last night that she is never leaving. Like she’s gonna grow up and still live with me is what she is her plan. And I’m not mad at that plan. All right. So there’s so many ways I could tell you this story through the lens of spirit of or I could slice or analyze or reflect on this story through the lens of self mastery. You know, in the Self Mastery method that I created and teach, we really have three big buckets of inner work that we do. One of them is the first of them is to recalibrate. 

Your nervous system, your belief system, the way you work the way you think the way you understand the universe, the way you understand your place in the universe. The next step is to actualize and that usually means to, you know, that usually means since you have done the paradigm shifting work, of coming out from under the licensure out from under the influence of your harsh hindering inner critic out from under the influence of fear, scarcity, unworthiness, trauma, etc. In step one. By the time you get to the actual life step, you have the sort of fresh clean slate to reset vision for your life in a vivid and beautiful and powerful way. But to do that, you kind of have to do it.

The actual step is an opportunity to reset the vision for your life. When your true sacred big Self is running the show and you’re no longer setting goals from your inner critic or small self or conditioned self place. So in order to really dive fully into setting a new vision from your true sacred Self, right, you have to first get to know your true self. So the actualize stage of the Self Mastery method is a lot about self-discovery. And we use systems like my own self-mastery archetypes, the sacred money archetypes we use the human design system we use attachment style As we don’t really use a whole lot of Myers Briggs and other methods, but it’s very common for people who come out of a recalibration season and into an actualization season to want to go down those kinds of rabbit holes of self-discovery. 

All right, with any of these systems, and they all have value, some more, some less, but just know they all have value. And then last season’s Self Mastery methods alignment, and that’s when you’re actually doing the work to change your life. Right. So you’ve heard me say it before, and I’ll just give a plug for it. 

Again, if you have been a person who’s jumped into a lot of self-improvement type action work time management, trying to fix your procrastination and perfectionism, your imposter syndrome trying to get more accountable, whatever. If you start leaping into action that is like alignment type action, you’re very likely going to trigger your own struggle switch, because alignment work always needs paradigm work recalibration work, and always self-actualization work first. 

So that’s just what’s happening if you’ve had that experience. So I’m sitting on the deck, I get this phone call, Katie is like frickin gamer puts this freakin you know, car seat in my car and go put this baby up. And I spent a year in legal proceedings to get guardianship of her. And then the pandemic happens, and I spent another year adopting her. So our adoption was final, not quite but almost a year ago. 

So I’ll say this, through the lens of the actualization work, the self-discovery work, when I was sitting at that table, and I got that phone call. I knew that this was the thing to do. There was never a second of questioning about whether it was the right thing to go pick this child up, who I did not know. And now I have the vocabulary for that. Now I know that I am a project in the Human Design System, I’m a projector with splenic authority. My right way to make decisions is to feel in the moment that like, yes or no. And I had that. And I’ve always, not always, but for a long time as an adult, I’ve known that I have this strong sense of knowing Yes, or no something is or is not the right thing for me. 

Now, many of you have that too. However, our culture and our families often conditioners to overrule and override that to second-guessed, right. So part of the path of self-mastery is learning that if you are someone with splenic authority, if you are someone whose inner authority and inner guidance system speaks loudly like that part of the work is creating the habit of not overruling and overriding that. 

So I knew it was the right thing in that moment. And I followed that. And I’m, we’re all glad that I did. But I knew I also knew it would be challenging, right. And I also knew I was up for it. I knew it wouldn’t do me in. I knew it would be a radical disruption to my person to the personal narrative I had been living. My kids had been out of the house for like 10 years. So I had been living in this kind of great three bedroom, three bath house in the Bay Area, like doing my own thing travel, I would go places for a month or two at a time, I had done so many things. I had leaned so hard into lavish self-care, wellness, and self-investment.

Travel, joy, like I had just leaned into giving myself permission to live exactly the ways that made sense for me, which was a relatively luxurious way. And I had been doing that for 10 years. And because I had done that I felt very nourished and ready for the call to adventure that was before me even though I didn’t know exactly what that was going to look like. Right? But that’s the thing about like, you get to be in your mid-40s or older. You may have been through some shit, right? And so instead of there are two ways that life can go when you’ve been through some shit, you can kind of stay focused on the path and try hard. Try with all your might. 

And I see this a lot right now. Smart successful people trying who don’t feel like they’re fulfilling their potential or don’t feel like they’re fulfilling their dreams. And what I observed is that they’re trying really hard not to re-make the mistakes of their past but that has them a little bit stuck in the past. Right. 

And what we’re trying to do now is to call what I’m trying to do and call to do in this season is call you forward called the big self within you forward. Dare You to take to answer my call to the adventure, of experimenting to see how delicious and how big and how fulfilling and how aligned you can let your life get.

So for me, as I just can, I’m gonna kind of go back and forth between like, sharing the Self Mastery method piece of the story or the way I interpret the story and reflect on the story through the method. And the way the story played out. For me, that commitment where I was like to call to adventure God, cosmic call to adventure. Cool, but let’s do it. 

The moment you commit to that kind of an adventure, usually begin to kickstart this radical transit new season of healing, new season of Trent healing, whatever needs healing doesn’t have to be a thing you were trying to heal even consciously, right, you kickstart a new season of healing you kickstart a new season of transformation, you kickstart a new season of radical upgrade, you kickstart a new season of alignment, and one of the very first things that happened was the relationship I was in I had been in for a few years, we broke up, it was super clear that this relationship was not a relationship that was gonna, you know, be in alignment with the new direction of my life. 

And I share that detail because so often, we start doing this work, we’re doing the paradigm work, we’re doing the actualization work, the self-discovery work, where we parenting ourselves, we’re doing the alignment work. And the very first thing that often happens when you do alignment work, if you’re doing it right, is that things, realities, parts of your life relationships in your life patterns in your life, people in your life, that are inconsistent with the highest self version of you, that are inconsistent with you know, big dream version of your life that you’re stepping into. 

Anything that’s inconsistent with it has to fall away. It has to it can not come with you where you’re going, all right. And usually, it starts to feel really friction at first. And then either you exercise, you have to find the courage to make a necessary ending. Or, you know, the thing falls apart the other person breaks up with you the job, you get fired from the job, you get laid off, you know, whatever happens, but just know it almost doesn’t even matter which of those things whether you execute the ending or whether the X whether you let the universe, execute the ending. 

Just know that often when you begin to do your alignment work, things will shift will happen in your world that feel like loss before they feel like alignment. All right. So that’s one thing that happened. The second thing that happened was just you know, all kid I am a big believer in children. Okay, I believe that children first of all these new kids are coming out differently. They ain’t even like other humans have other times. Right? These kids are coming. They are a wonderful exemplar of human evolution.

But people ask me all the time, but all children across all time and all generations really do stir up the healing, the healing that they stir up what still needs tending to within their parents, they are our gurus, they are our spiritual teachers. I don’t even mean this in a like woo-woo super kind of way. I just mean that like children. Having children in your space and in your life tends to stir up whatever within you still needs healing. And in the Self Mastery method, we affirm over and over and over again, I choose to see it as a treasure when I discover something new to release. 

I see and feel myself changing moment by moment. Right? These are old-school Louise Hay declarations, but they’re real. And so when you’ve been doing that work, and then something shifts in your life that stirs up you can call it triggering, or you can just call it you know, surfacing for you. Which you still need to attend to. You can choose to see that as oh my gosh, what the hell is actually happening or you can choose to see it as a treasure so I choose to see it as a treasure people asked me all the time do I feel like I’m getting a do-over? 

Because so I have a 30-year-old, 29-year-old, and now a four-year-old rights. 25 years between children. I feel like every day of everyone’s life is a do-over, to be honest. And also, yeah. I apologize to my old kids all the time. I’m like, yo, you guys got the first pancake mom. You know, first pancake is kind of like jacked up and stuff. Because you don’t let the grill get hot enough. You didn’t let the oil get hot enough. 

You didn’t maybe the batter hadn’t sat long enough. I mean, yeah, so my kids, my old kids got the first pancake mom, I was 16 and 17 years old when they were born. Now I’m 46. So Londyn gets a great advantage of First of all, I’ve done this before. And also 25 years of personal growth work in between. 

Right 25 years of coaching, therapy, meditation, prayer, journaling, reflection, all this inner growth work that I was doing, because it felt good to do and it was my calling to do it. She gets the advantage of all of that. Oh, and also, by the way, and I say some of this because people are sometimes fast and they’re like, but aren’t you tired? You’re 46 Aren’t you tired? I’m like yo, money I didn’t have when I had my old kids. I have a house that’s I’ve resources. I’m kind of like that guy, Clarence Avant out. Oh, who was it? Kimberly Murray on Facebook, you were pointing out we should all watch this. This show, the black godfather. Once a year, whatever. I love the quote that this guy has. He says I don’t even have problems. I got friends. I feel like that 25 years on I know, I don’t have problems. I got friends. I got resources and my friends. A couple of them are human, but most of them are divine. I have access to divine resources that I did not know I had when I was 16 and 17. 

I’ve had healing of old trauma that I didn’t know that was not healed was still very unprocessed back then. When I got Londyn, I had unprocessed trauma that having Londyn made me aware of and I knew what to do with it in a way that I did not know what to do with trauma when it surfaced when my old kids were younger, right. 

And one of the big things that Londyn stirred up from me that I think is really has a bunch of powerful Self Mastery lessons in it is the need to recalibrate out of this cult of the individual, this cult this insidious cult of self-reliance that I believe is truly a very toxic symptom of toxic capitalism colonialism, patriarchy, white supremacy, call it what you want to there is a very toxic trance like conditioning program thought habit that I call I’ll do it myself syndrome. Like we’ve been getting credit or external validation for doing hard things by ourselves for so long, that that has become this very toxic, isolating. I’ll do it myself syndrome. It creates a moat around you in the Self Mastery method we talk about our interpersonal relationships and the progress they can help us make like spiritually as our magnets and our Moats. 

When you are still embedded in a toxic I’ll-do-it-myself syndrome trance. You broadcast emote that keeps a good help away from you. It keeps supportive humans away from you. Right? In some ways, it becomes a broken magnet because it attracts the kind of people into your world who actually don’t want to help, who do not want to participate who might even want to take instead of give. 

Right so I had a series of healings and I’m sure I’m still in them with Londyn because with Londyn and with the medical diagnosis I talked about yesterday and with the pandemic and with childcare breaking down with my businesses. I basically had no other option than to heal my magnets and to heal my motes to stop broadcasting a signal that says Help stay away. I’ll do it myself. 

And to start not only asking for help but to start, really recalibrating what I even thought an appropriate landscape of life looked like from an interpersonal relationship perspective, right? So like, when I first got Londyn, I told me I joke. I was probably I probably had her for 36 hours before I felt maternal guilt flaring up. Where I was like, huh, this is fascinating. I was feeling guilty. I was logically aware that that guilt story couldn’t even possibly be logically true. Because I’ve had this child 36 hours I can’t possibly have fucked her up yet. I’m saying, right. And I realized over time that I was telling myself the very well, several things, I realized that this maternal guilt story is a very deep and insidious shadow in the collective unconscious. It was not my story, it wasn’t even really my story. It was a thing that was in the collective that was surfacing because I now had this baby child. 

And it did cause me to tell myself some scarcity stories, I would tell myself the story that, you know, every moment I wasn’t with her every moment she was in daycare with someone else was sort of like a moment of her lifetime that we lost. I mean, I was really dramatic in the way I was thinking about it. And one day, I read this story, I want to say it was written by Charles Blow in the New York Times, who was like a black dude, single parent. 

And I just, I don’t even remember what the rest of the piece was about. I just remember him saying that his mother had taught him that the more people who love your children, the better. And that was a big, you know, epiphany moment for me, where I was like, hmm, what if that’s true? What if the more people who love my child, the better what if I could create, what if I could call in and attract in people who, when she’s not with me, her experience of life is actually benefiting, because they love her and they’re able to teach her or have fun with her in ways that I can’t. And so I started to really shift the lens through which I looked at other people, right, or as I think before, I’d had so much, you know, or like early life and early adulthood trauma with people that I kind of saw every relationship, every new person is like, a tax, every new person would like to take a little bit away or require a little bit. Whereas this was really one of the big healings that Londyn has been for my life has been to start calling in and seeing all the ways in which actually know these new relationships that I’ve cultivated and new depth to existing relationships that I’ve cultivated, because of her are wildly additive, wildly additive to my life. 

And yes, they take some investment and yes, I do have to learn how to be good at managing the energies of the people around us and managing the people of people around us, both in my work and the people who helped me with her and the people who helped me with the house and just our friends and community relationships. 

You know, there’s that’s, that takes investment. But it’s a really, it’s an investment that pays off really well in ways that have tenderized my heart and have just enriched our lives. So that’s some of the recalibration work was really in de colonizing and recalibrating that that trans of all do it myself. Right so that I could open my heart and open my life to other people, which turned out, you know, turned out down the road, I realized, oh, by the way, I’m a projector. I can’t even really operate in an optimal way in the world without the puzzle pieces of other humans. Right. So it was a very, that was a very big thing for me. So that’s recalibrate.

Let’s talk about Actualize. The actualization work has been really fascinating to do through in parenting, I think a lot of people don’t know. But Ra, the guy who created the traditional human design system, actually had a strong focus on parenting. He had a strong idea that most of us come here born with one unique, divine secret, wonderful wiring and we are taught our whole lives to act in a different way than we are wired to act. And so he thought if parents could just Foster and cultivate individual children’s unique wiring, then more people would be able to operate optimally and human evolution would benefit as a result. I happen to agree with that. 

So some of the fun stuff that I’ve done in the I’ve been able to do, I’ve been invited to do in the actualization realm with Londyn has really been to like, both, you might continue to do my own self-discovery work at new depths, but and also to help her understand herself. So I do a lot of teaching her about her own human design type. Her own extroversion, all of her own wiring her wiring is a spirited child, I teach her in four-year-old terms, about her own wiring and how she can best manage it. 

So for example, Londyn’s a generator in human design. But for her, I call her a pass. I’m like, Babe, what are you I’m a powerhouse, she knows to say that I’m a powerhouse, right? We need to teach our children to own their wiring and to love it. Right. So she knows she’s a powerhouse, she knows that we can’t I lay down with her to put her to sleep. And then I have to go back to my own room because she generates energy all night, all night, all night, all day all night. And I actually need I am a projector I actually need to not have that generating happening near me physically, while I sleep or I don’t rest. She knows that I need more rest than she does. So she actually we do this beautiful thing where sometimes I’ll be like, Girl, it ain’t happening. Remember, Mama needs more rest than you did. And she’ll go, I’ll give you some energy. And she comes over and puts her head on my head and gives me energy or to put her heart on my heart and give me energy, which is actually how generators and projectors are meant to work. They’re meant to like puzzle pieces together to create in the world. Right? 

So I’ve I do a lot of that kind of thing with her. teaching her you know, Londyn is while she’s made the most extroverted extrovert to extrovert she literally charges her batteries off of other people. Whereas I’m a projector and an introvert so I like a lot of one on one. So I get to teach we’ve it’s a constant, co-creative process of molding the clay of like, how can I make sure so I make sure we belong to a club, I can always take her to a place where there are lots of other people for her to recharge her batteries off. While I can still have a one-on-one conversation, or be over here by myself. Like we do a lot of that kind of curating a world that works for us both.

And that’s it’s part of the motivation or the thinking around moving as well from you know, where we live now, in Oakland to Portugal. This process and part has been an elevation she Londyn having linen has elevated my own vision, from just a beautiful life with like, you know, a healed heart and great business, to curating a world and a daily life with this child that is better that will outrank any screen or anything else that she might find attractive. 

And the things that I have found that do that for her are horses, the ocean, and really out-of-the-box, schooling situations. And so those were some of my checklist if you will items for moving, I needed to be in a place where there was a community where it was truly family-friendly, where it was easy to find help because we do have a lot of help that makes us makes this household tick of housekeeping weekly, I have two part-time nannies, I have a daycare, we belong to a private club that as a kids club, I need all of that for this to work well. And for me to be able to engage with her fully. 

So I needed a place where it was a little bit easier to find that kind of help quality help. And also where she could ride horses daily and surf daily and be in the ocean daily that had lots of other schools, you know. So those are some of the things that went into it factored into my decision-making and search for a new place. Although the truth is we’ll probably end up living in part-time in both places is looking like what will happen for a while. And then yeah, the last thing I’ll say on the Self Mastery method is the alignment piece. Right. 

And so, you know, as I came started to come into the awareness that I was really trying to make a family setup work in a geography that wasn’t super family-friendly, where I live now in the Bay Area. I decided I would be open to making a move, move and I would explore that but I didn’t want to rush it And I didn’t want to do with the 12-step people call pulling a geographic. 

So pulling a geographic is where you have some issues. And you think that the way you’re going to solve those issues is just by moving to a new place. But you know what they say, wherever you go, there you are. So I kinda was like, hey, if I’m having issues, and I was because during COVID, childcare broke down a lot, a lot, a lot, a lot of times, I literally had to stop working and start my business multiple times.

I thought, you know, I don’t want to pull a geographic. I’ve lived in Oakland for almost 25 years. If I can’t figure out how to get help here. How do I think I’m going to do it in another place? Right. So I went about even while I was scouting other places to live. And this is really an important like principle to catch. If you’re thinking there are big moves or big changes you want to make in your life, wherever you go, there you are. 

So we don’t want to make changes by running from problems. Being in the energy of the problem. Hashing the problem flat flogging the problem fondling the problem, and thinking that another place or another job or another mate is going to solve that problem. What you want to do is begin calling forth, begin calling forth solutions begin aligning, that’s the right word begin aligning to solutions, right where you are bloom, where you’re planted before you even make the change, you cannot have a happy ending from a really shitty problem riddled journey. So start aligning to the solution now. 

And if nothing, and hey, you may solve all the things and decide you don’t even need to make a change. Or you may align to solutions and realize you’ve created a wonderful prototype to create the next new, you know, version of you the new season in alignment with that prototype. So I was like, Infinite Spirit showed me the way I got really still in quiet with myself. I have to dig deep and keep going to find better help. I had to realize that I had this underlying paradigm that was telling me a city story that every second I was away from her as a second last of our lives. I had to get work on that paradigm and that belief system. 

When I did that, I started to be able to set an intention. I wanted to Zen ass Mary Poppins. I didn’t want a basic babysitter. I didn’t want just anybody I can find off the streets. I wanted Zen, Mary Poppins who was super aligned with the way I saw the world and the way Londyn was being raised. And I got her thanks to Alora. And I got her so I got way more help that way. You know, uptick, the amount of help I was getting at home, I decided to join. It’s really a private club, but I’ll call it for ease of reference, a country club that had a kids club that had swim lessons that were it was a mile from my house. 

So I didn’t have to get on weightless six months out in advance to get to swim classes. Right? And yes, that was a very terrible way to solve this problem. Right? Need more childcare? Join a country club, but you know, what if it weren’t, because the club’s childcare stayed open during the pandemic, and the club’s childcare continues to be a resource to me on the weekends when I just need an hour of introvert time in the Steam Room. I can take her and she has a blissful time. And I get that time. It’s all good. 

And then in it and then let’s see December this last December. Alora my Zen Mary Poppins was walking into my house. And I had been doing some self-coaching on alignment. You know, I have this book concept. I just rewritten the vivid vision for SoulTour, which I’ll share with you soon. I had all these things that were coming down the pike and I was like what’s not in alignment. And what wasn’t in alignment was I had no deep. I had there were several things I was not I had no breaks from getting baby dressed, dropping off picking up. Our weekends were very scheduled. 

And in part, that’s because Londyn is a powerhouse. She needs to wear herself out every day so that she can sleep at night. And so Alora walked in the door and I said. “Alora, how often do you do overnight babysitting?” She said twice a month. I said I want them for the year 2022 I want all of your overnights for the year 2022. So in December, I made what Rachael Rogers would call a million-dollar decision. But it was more like a spiritual million-dollar decision. And I booked out every other weekend with my Then Mary Poppins and I checked myself into the Claremont and I hold up. And sometimes I work on the book projects. Sometimes I work on the upgrade event. Sometimes I just have friends meet friends for dinner. You know what I mean?

But I have that consistent, predictable time. And when I needed to make a really last-minute trip to Portugal couple months ago to do a vibe check. We had and I left the baby with Alora I was only gone for four and a half days. I got over there. I had this moment of panic. And I was like, What did I do? And I texted Alora, and she said, but we’ve worked for this. We’ve worked for this. 

And we had, we had done this very slow, gradual getting Londyn used to, you know, one night. We did two nights, you know what I mean? We’d had this very gradual build. And the five days was easy for her. Easy for me.

All right, so that’s the recalibration, actualization, alignment way that I think about this gift of a surprise baby. And I’ll tell you, the other universal law that it really affirmed for me was that divine timing is real, and it is in our favor. divine timing is real, and it is in our favor. I was in Portugal, three and a half, or was supposed to be in Portugal, three and a half years ago, and didn’t take that trip, maybe so that I could maybe it was like God pressing pause. So that I would get Londyn, right. 

And while at first, the pandemic seemed bizarre, crazy. I mean, I was for sure, in a room with a two-year-old for 21 days by myself. It was also this wonderful gift, I am certain that I have spent more time to share hours of time with Londyn than I have spent with either of my older kids in their whole lives. We have this gift of this deep time together when I wasn’t in a relationship, right? There wasn’t anyone else. It was just us for these years. And you know, that’s probably that will likely change soon. But we have this really beautiful deep time to do skin-to-skin contact, which we hadn’t been able to do. And she was born because I wasn’t her birth mother. I stopped working. 

I really was able to reinvent my business in a way that’s like way less. I do way less work and way more guiding. We had COVID together a year ago, we made COVID We made it fashion we were to dues. We listened to ballet music we read from the goddess books every day, we made beautiful friends in the pandemic because Londyn is just a magnet for joy and for wonderful people. 

Actually, my friend Elizabeth D alto, who y’all may know, we met in the park, Elizabeth had just moved to Oakland. And Londyn just wouldn’t let her alone. She wouldn’t let her alone. And Elizabeth, a total stranger at the time had to walk us to the car as Londyn would not let her alone. And then a week later, a friend a mutual friend of mine, and Elizabeth calls me and says, Did you meet a woman named Elizabeth in the park? Elizabeth D Alto is in my house right now. 

And she’s saying that she met this kid Londyn and she’s like talking about our I think it’s your Londyn I’m like yeah, so we ended up being friends and I’ve been on her podcast and you’ll see are on my things. It’s just been incredibly healing to know what I know and to raise a child knowing what I now know. It’s been an incredible re-parenting experience for myself. And I do want to give credit where it’s due. Londyn is one of my friends first I took her to his restaurant when I first got her and he said oh look elder up. 

Oh, she’s a magical baby. She is a cosmic baby she is a magical baby you know the first thing one of her first sentences to me was open the sky Alma she used to call me on my phone she asked me the other day when I die will I become the Evening Star yeah, I’ve decided I can’t tattoo all the stuff that she does all the cosmic stuff she says on my body or I just be covered in tattoos. Alright guys, so that’s the Self-Mastery story of the time I got a surprise baby. Thank you for being here with me. And listening to the story. Oh, I will put the link to the upgrade event where I will guide you through your process of what I call Self-Mastery.

Yes, even some people would call Self-Realization I would call it highest self-realization or self-actualization. But what we’re actualizing is through your sacred self, your big self, not the self that most of us have lived in for so long, which was really conditioned by culture and family and other people’s opinions and expectations. So, I will drop the link to the UPGRADE event in all of the things so you’ll be able to find it, you should come and join me It’s October 21 through 23rd in Berkeley at the Claremont club and spa and you will just leave with new energy, vision, enthusiasm and a new level of appreciation for yourself and for what the plot twists of your life are, therefore. Alright, I will talk to you guys soon.

Head up + heart out,

Tara-Nicholle Kirke, MA, Esq.
The Metaphysician
Founder + CEO of SoulTour

P.S.: In case you missed it, here’s the link to yesterday’s LIVE, when I told the story of how I used Spiritual Strategy to get an accurate medical diagnosis, after 15 years and 13 foot fractures. (Wheeeeeeeeew.)

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