In 2001, when I was 21, I bought my first house, just outside of Oakland.

I was a single Mom raising two boys, who were around 7 and 8 at the time. 

I’d just graduated from law school at UC Berkeley (Go Bears). And I’d just decided I loved it here, and could live in the Bay Area for a really long time. 

I’d been watching home prices skyrocket the whole time I was in school. In June, at graduation time, I decided I would pass the California Bar Exam on the first go-round. So I did.

And then I decided that, despite having roughly $3000 to my name… despite everyone crowing about how expensive homes were… I had better buy a house asap if I wanted to

• avoid paying all my baby lawyer salary out in income taxes, 
• be able to stay in the Bay Area, and 
• get on the side of the game that benefits when home values rise. 

So, I started work in September. Home values were still on a tear… every house got a dozen offers, and it seemed like every buyer made a dozen offers before the market beat them into submission, too.

But I — with the relentless optimism of youth — I decided I would find a house, get into contract and close escrow by December 31, 2001.

And you know what? That’s what I did. 

We closed one day early, on December 30th.

I decided. And that’s what happened. 

At the time, my real estate agent thought I was smokin’ that funny stuff. My friends thought I was not paying attention, though I was actually very well-versed in real estate. My parents had bought over 20 homes in their 22 years of marriage, and I’d been paying attention.

So I made 3 offers and succeeded on the fourth try. 

And that home tripled in value in the next three years. 

Which fueled my next home purchase. And the next one, the home I live in now.

Ever since 2001, I’ve always owned the place I call home. 

That single focused, positive, present and specific intention I set back then was one of the three most liberating, profitable decisions I’ve ever made. 

Now, hey… I may have to make some more real estate moves and shake some stuff up here soon. I’ll keep you in the loop. 

But that’s not the point… this is.

When I was on a mission to buy my first home…I was like a very cute dog with a bone. 

I literally spoke my homeownership into existence.

Every time someone told me about an obstacle, I nodded and was like GREAT, so how will we get around that?”


Every time someone tried to manage my expectations or said I was being unrealistic, I sort of chuckled to myself. 

“Awww, that’s cute,” I thought to myself. They didn’t understand. 

They didn’t understand that my job was not to swing the hammer and make it all happen…


My job was to decide what I wanted, line up to that and participate in no other version of reality.

My job was to see every offer that didn’t get accepted… every house I “loved” that I didn’t get… and every condition from the mortgage lender was just another chance to see how Divine Order would unfold and unfurl in my favor.  

Now. 

I want you to think back to when you were younger. You might have a story like this, too.

You might reflect back and remember a time when you felt fearless and unstoppable. 

And you might feel really different than that right now. You might even wonder what happened? 

Well, over a lifetime, you got good at making things happen under your own steam.

And the more you do through hard effort, the easier it is to forget that your job is not to be the Logistics Director of the Universe.

Maybe you got so used to fixing problems that you forgot that every problem is serving up a softball for Divine Order to knock it out of the park… and upgrade you in the process.

Maybe you just got attached to your comfortable life that it seems like tempting fate to step outside of what you know. 

Or maybe you tried for something and failed a few times, and you swore you’d never make another mistake like that again. 

Or maybe you’ve had some traumas, losses and disappointments in life. 

And over time, fear crept in.

The fear that taking a risk or exposing yourself to criticism will trigger Very Bad Feelings and other unwanted consequences.

That fear is the favorite food of your Inner Critic. 

Your Inner Critic eats it up, and causes you to hesitate. To dither. To be less decisive. To be uncertain. To sabotage your own dreams and goals.

To dim your own light.

That fear causes you to question your Wise Inner Being for having the dream in the first place, instead of pushing back against the mere mortals who would call you foolish for wanting what you want.

So, fast forward to now. I’ve decided at 45 years old I need a body reset, so I can feel as physically fresh and new as I do on the inside. 

And I’ve enrolled myself in a program of this very intensive, deep tissue physical manipulation called Rolfing. It’s kind of like if deep tissue massage and WWF had a baby. The (incredibly strong) therapist lays you on a table and uses their hands and elbows and body weight to break up the old muscle adhesions and scar tissues that keep your body in bad patterns, and they release the sheath of fascia that covers your entire musculature. 

Rolfing is no joke. It ranges from uncomfortable to LORD HAVE MERCY, in terms of pain level. The New York Times described the modality with a headline that blared “Excruciatingly helpful.”

Sometimes I literally think I’ll have to crawl from the office to my car. 

And you know what? 10/10 would recommend.

When I first started, my Rolfing practitioner said, “Look, your body actually made itself. It has all the optimal programs already encoded in its cells. All I’m doing is challenging the patterns you’ve acquired over the years, through injury and bad posture, and repetitive use, and even trauma holding patterns. When we break those patterns, you can trust that your body will find its way back to its highest and best functioning.”

And that has been my experience. 

In one session, I got access to my heels and toes… parts of my feet I never normally even feel touch the ground. 

In general, I’ve found myself holding my body and moving my body very differently. Calmer, somehow, but more powerful and much steadier. 

So, if you’ve been feeling hesitant or wistful for your youthful fearlessness, you might need to do a little spiritual Rolfing. 

You might need to challenge your old patterns.

Interrupt your ruts. 

Change your scene. 

Practice moving more calmly, but also more boldly, more powerfully, in the world.

When you have a choice to make, make the fearless choice if for no other reason than to break apart your old sticking points and release the thin layer of hesitation that might have grown over your life.

Decide what you want and be like a very cute dog with a bone. 

When it gets hard, remind yourself that you’re not creating your life through hard effort. Back off, take a break, and let the Divine handle the how for awhile (or maybe forever).

When the naysayers naysay or point out your limitations, don’t let it knock you off your game. Don’t argue and agree with them. Just smile and say to yourself: Cute dog with a bone. That’s me. 

I promise you, you can trust that your inborn inner intelligence — that youthful optimism, exuberance and exhilaration — will take over, if you give them the chance. 

Worst case, you’ll try for something and all you’ll get out of it is a life lesson. 

Best case? You might even just set yourself up for a lifelong cascade of success that flows to you in wonderful ways.

May you go from success to success, and from glory to glory.

Head up + heart out,

Tara-Nicholle Kirke, MA, Esq.
The Inner Critic Coach™️
Founder + CEO of SoulTour

@taranicholle on FB | TW | IG | LI

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