I saw a meme on the Internet the other day that said: 

“The calling of your soul is not a conference call.”

That’s what I like to call a spiritual mic-drop.

For years I’ve been telling my students to stop asking other people for their opinions on whether you should answer YOUR soul’s calling… because other people can’t hear your calling. 

They can’t feel the bliss you feel when you get that inspired idea for a business or a book or a movement or a move around the world. They can’t feel that energy and expansion, because it’s not for them. It’s for you.

So other people ain’t even qualified to have an opinion on whether you should do your calling, because it’s not their calling. It’s not their assignment. 

It’s not their sacred contract.

So they may not be aware of or have access to the same inner and outer resources that will be available to you to do what you came here to do. What you’re called to do in this season.

More importantly…other people may feel some kind of way (like: threatened, triggered, intimidated, afraid or like their relationship with you might change) about you answering your callings. And that may inform the advice they give when you ask.

Here’s the truth: 

When you share your big dreams and inspired ideas with others, you may be seeking support and connection and collaboration… or your Inner Critic might be magnetizing in someone who will collaborate with your fear and tell you whatever you need to hear to retreat on the brink of your breakthrough, reverse course, stay safe and stay small.

Only you can know what you’re going for when you ask for opinions: encouragement or an excuse to stay small.

One way you can know what you’re seeking is this: You can predict what someone in your life is going to say about your idea, before you even tell them what the idea is, almost 100 percent of the time. 

If you know they’ll encourage you, the impulse to ask their opinion might be coming from your Wise Inner Being. 

But if you know they’ll discourage, naysay or scare you out of taking action, the impulse to seek their approval might be a self-sabotaging impulse of your very own Inner Critic. 

For example, I have a number of friends and clients who call me every single time they have an out-of-the-box idea that is exhilarating, that sparks bliss for them and that they really want to give themselves permission to do… but that also feels scary.

Because they know that 100% of the time, I’ll encourage them to make the leap. 

I’ll probably have some substantive thoughts about it, too, but I’ll almost always encourage people to do the things that light them up… and I’ll help them re-assess the risk, usually downward. Our neurobiology is wired to make us think our goals are much riskier to pursue than they almost ever are.

So let me give you a handy rule of thumb:

Anytime you ask someone for their opinion on your dreams or goals, their advice will be infused with whatever their greatest fear is… the thing that person most wants to avoid.

The thing I most dread in this life is that any of us die with unfulfilled potential and dreams. 

So when people ask me for my opinion, it will always be encouragement to fulfill your potential, dreams, unique spirit and personality. 

But if you ask someone who is afraid of running out of money…

Or you ask someone who is afraid of being criticized…

Or you ask someone who is afraid of looking foolish or making a public mistake…

Then that’s what their advice to you will be based on. 

So.

Incubate your dreams for a while in your own precious heart before you expose them to the fears of others.

And when the time comes to seek support or collaboration, I urge you… be careful who you ask. 

Head up + heart out,

Tara-Nicholle Kirke, MA, Esq.
The Inner Critic Coach™️
Founder + CEO of SoulTour

@taranicholle on FB | TW | IG | LI

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