“I’m behind” used to be something I felt and thought all the time.
Now I know the truth: “I’m behind” is a lie of our culture.
It’s a scarcity lie. Scarcity because it causes us to tense up, constrict, hold our breath and let our lizard brains, our Inner Critics, run wild with irrational fears of disaster. Keyword: irrational.
(Our Inner Critic is really predictable, y’all.)
And it’s a lie because the truth is that we’re always in the right place at the right time to become who we are in the process of becoming.
To get the clarity we need to get.
To create what we’re here to create.
To learn what we’re here to learn.
And to see — if we can stay out of fear and relax into our own deep, profound worthiness — to see the divine path light up before us.
We’re always in the right place at the right time to catch a golden thread of inspiration, if we’re listening.
We’re always in the right place at the right time to be surprised and delighted by the help that comes and opportunities that arise without our effort, if we look for them.
“I’m behind” is based on the fallacy that there’s a perfect set of tasks you were supposed to check off some rigorous, unrealistic cosmic checklist in some perfect time frame, and that you have failed. All lies. Because: right place, right time.
But it helps to understand that “I’m behind” and perfectionism are first cousins.
So now I think about “I’m behind” in the same way as Anne Lamott writes about perfectionism in Bird by Bird. I’m going to steal her quote now and just replace “perfectionism” with “I’m behind”, okay? I think it’s perfectly worded, not too strongly at all.
Here goes:
“I’m behind” is the voice of the oppressor, the enemy of the people. It will keep you cramped and insane your whole life….. I think “I’m behind” is based on the obsessive belief that if you run carefully enough, hitting each stepping-stone just right, you won’t have to die. The truth is that you will die anyway and that a lot of people who aren’t even looking at their feet are going to do a whole lot better than you, and have a lot more fun while they’re doing it.”
2018 was the year I stopped saying: “I’m behind”.
I wrote much more about this reframe, here, and shared some of my strategies for unlearning the “I’m behind” story, here.
NOTE: What if you could kickstart 2019 with momentum on your most exciting, most inspired intention or goals?
You can.
We’re doing BIG THINGS to help you clean the slate of 2018 and usher in New Year’s 2019 with clarity and purpose.
Head up + heart out,
TNN
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