Brilliant One,

Here’s the AUDIO for today’s Transformation Tuesday Newsletter.

In the School of Upliftment, we’re focusing on Self-Doubt and Self-Expression for the month of November.

As I was re-reading one of our books for this month, How to Be an Adult, something caught my eye in a whole new way. David Richo writes that “neurotic fear is unintegrated excitement”. unintegrated excitement. He says the only way to integrate it is to engage wholeheartedly with the thing that made you feel the fear in the first place.

(Doubt is just a slightly nicer way to say neurotic fear, meaning fear that is not appropriate to the circumstances—feeling afraid of taking a step in your life that is not dangerous in any reality but in your mind.)

Let me speak for myself, here, and you see whether this resonates for you. I am very good at doing things I’m afraid of. I have developed a great level of comfort with being uncomfortable, and it allows me to spend a lot of time outside my comfort zone. This is a skill I’ve cultivated for years.

But on reading this, I had to have a frank conversation with myself: “Ok, Tara. So, you’re engaging with the scary subjects. Great. No, really. RESPECT. BUT are you engaging wholeheartedly?”

In some areas, the answer is yes. And I’m delighted with that. But in a few areas, the answer is: increasingly. Which means: 75%-heartedly. Or 90%-heartedly. And getting more wholehearted everyday on some subjects. But still holding back a bit on others.

I am a recovering overachiever. So when I hold back, it’s always a signal that on that particular subject, I still have remnants to release of the mythology that glorifies hard hustle, nose-to-grindstone and struggle. These are often areas in which I still have layers to peel back of the false limiting beliefs that say I have to do it all on my own and so I tend to hold back out of fear of depletion.

But I am recovering. Because I know the truth now, and can never unknow it: that depletion is a myth both in this abundant universe full of resources and in my abundant life full of joy, energy and the know-how to reconnect, recalibrate and rely on my Source to light up a path of open doorways and enthusiastic collaborators.

I also now appreciate the beauty of the process. And I know that the process of living, creating, leading, loving and becoming more wholehearted includes some massive growth spurts and some incremental increases in hearted-ness, by degrees.

Some days you jump into the pool. Wholeheartedly. Other days you ease in.

Some days, on some subjects, just a toe is fine for now.

I now trust Inner Guidance to let me know when to go gradually, and when I need to dive in. It’s not even a conversation or a thing I have to make happen. It’s more a feeling: expansion and space open up in my chest, during a thought or a conversation.

And I know: Wholehearted spurt starts now. That’s when I know I’m ready to pull out all the stops. Go full-bore love mode.

Because it felt so good, meditating on this word “wholehearted, I let myself go down an internet rabbit hole on the subject. There are apparently 37 scriptures in the Bible that mention the words “all your heart”. They are mostly preceded by the word “love with”.

Love with your whole heart.

And that reminded of another verse, which says “love banishes fear.”

But that’s not the whole verse,, so I looked it up. “Perfect love banishes fear.” This translates as: “well-formed love banishes fear”.

“Well-formed” love seems a lot like love with your whole heart.

“Well-formed” love seems a lot like love with attention, appreciation, affection, allowing and especially acceptance*.

“Well-formed” love seems like radically accepting love.

Not love that holds back a piece of you heart because you don’t love that part of who you are, or because someone or some cultural lie says you can’t fully earn your worthiness unless and until you <fill in the blank: perform beyond criticism, get a promotion, make more money, buy a house, get married, get skinny, or what-exhausting-ever>.

Not love that withholds a piece of your heart because your mind keeps rehearsing decades-old hurts, grievances or limitations and telling you a story of danger or depletion that is years, decades or generations past its expiration date.

So today, write what comes up for you as you consider these three questions:

• As I just shared my own marination on the concept of wholeheartedness, did anything come to mind that you are currently doing less than wholeheartedly due to doubt?
• What would you need — what would it take — for you to be wholehearted about it?
• What would you need — what would it take — for you to give a single degree more of your heart to this person, endeavor or thing than you do right now?

*These Five A’s are the ingredients of mindful loving as articulated by David Richo in another one of his books, How to Be an Adult in Relationships.

IT’S MY BIRTHDAY…THE GIFT OF YOUR REPLY IS REQUESTED:

1. I’d love to hear what the word “wholehearted” means to you. Hit reply and let me know…or join the conversation on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/transformationaltara/
2. We are wrapping up our survey on how the conscious leaders and born uplifters who get this newsletter are thinking about setting their goals, vision and intentions for 2019.

The survey should only take up to 10 minutes, and we’d love for your thoughts and questions to be included.

If you take the survey, you’ll get a report of the results (I’m already having a great time seeing the different approaches people are taking) and a VIP invitation to a live ‘Envisioning 2019’ session with me in the next few weeks.

Take my survey on New Year’s Vision, Goal and Intention-Setting here: Take Tara’s Survey

Head up + heart out,

TNN

Sign up for my Transformation Tuesday newsletter, here: http://www.taranicholle.com/transformation-tuesday