Friends,

I grew up in an upper middle class family. But like most well-intentioned, upwardly mobile Moms and Pops, my parents never wanted us to forget where they had come from. They never wanted us to take what we had for granted.

Which translated to: they never wanted us to feel too prosperous. That felt dangerous. And my parents were most certainly not alone. Our culture loves to spread the storyline that if you feel too comfortable, too secure, too well-provided for, you’re bad. Smug. Too big for your britches and tempting fate. Something bad might happen. You might lose your motivation to Be All That You Can Be.

So, while we never wanted for anything, we were constantly reminded that someday, we *might*. It could happen. And it probably would, if we didn’t get all A’s, keep the house impeccable, and start retirement planning circa kindergarten.

Of course, my parents were doing the best they could with what they had, what they’d been taught and what they believed to be true.

But I’ve had a total reversal of perspective on this subject. I’ve realized that the people who have plenty but live in an internal landscape of scarcity are not the most generative or successful people. The opposite can be true. The scarcity storyline pervades their entire worldview, and the anxiety it creates shuts down their highest brain functioning, their highest creativity. It shuts off their ability to take even reasonable career risks and steps toward their dreams.

I’ve seen scarcity called a trance, and it is. It is a pervasive, unspoken feeling that there’s never enough, or that you’re not enough or that you must be vigilant or you’ll run out of fill-in-the-blank. Scarcity is a constant fear—at times low-grade, at other times overwhelming— and anxiety about the sufficiency of your world.

It might seem like scarcity is the same as being on your toes or having an edge or being responsible, but it’s not. Scarcity frequently triggers self-sabotage. Scarcity shuts down our ability to receive the love, the help, the resources, the entrepreneurial ideas, the energy, the creative inspiration that is trying to flow to each and every one of us, all the time. Scarcity stops us from speaking up and asking for what we need. And it also stops us from speaking up and offering our gifts and talents fully to the world.

Scarcity ties in neatly and insidiously with the trance of unworthiness, causing some of us to never be able to relax all the way, because we feel we must be acting, doing, producing, constantly, both to earn our place on the planet and to stave off catastrophe.

Even more insidiously, the energy of “never enough” or “must protect what I have” gets us stuck holding onto all manner of things: old ways of being, jobs and relationships that no longer work, physical possessions and patterns that keep our talent in, our souls limited and our potential forever unfulfilled.

Don’t get me wrong: scarcity is not for suckers. Some of the best and brightest leaders, parents, marketers, entrepreneurs, and creatives I know feel scarcity the most. (a) They hold themselves to very high standards, (b) they are perpetually bearing new ideas, and (c) they want to get them all done in what feels like very limited time. In the context of cultural and family conditioning that has taught so many of us that there’s never enough time/money/energy and that we’re only ok if we get all the things done, these conditions can snowball into High-Functioning Scarcity Syndrome (HFSS). (And, yes: I did just make that acronym up).

So. What do you do about that?

First, you note it and name it. (Briefly.) You can’t shift anything—including scarcity—by judging yourself for feeling it or pushing hard against it. When I’m feeling anxious about time or resources, I wave hello to my old pal scarcity and invite her to sit next to me on the couch for a moment. She gets to be heard for about 10 seconds or so, which prevents her from grabbing the steering wheel and taking me with her. But she doesn’t get to call any shots or type any addresses into Google Maps, if you know what I mean. And she doesn’t get to be the leading lady of my conversations for the next 3 years, either.

Once the scarcity voice in your head knows she’s being heard, she’ll settle down a bit and, if you ask really nicely, stop hijacking you.

Then you can start to shift scarcity with your words, gradually rewiring old, lackful beliefs. First step here is to stop verbally rehearsing and rehashing complaints. Stop talking about not having enough time or money, or about how busy or unproductive you are. This can be challenging when you’re also trying to practice boundaries and say no, but it’s doable with a little advance rehearsing.

I’ve gotten pretty good at simply saying: “I’d love to, but I’m in Monk Mode until X. Thanks for the invite!”, or “My life is very full right now.” (vs. I’m soooo busy argh). I’m also getting better at managing the expectations of my loved ones when I know I have an intense work cycle coming up and might need some solo introvert recharge time.

Catch this principle: use the power of your words wisely and in the direction of abundance versus scarcity. Stop talking about how real the struggle is. Instead, affirm what is true about the abundance of your life and experience on this planet. VERBALLY, out loud, appreciate whatever you can see or feel that is abundant. The leaves on the tree. The comfort of your bed. The plenty in your fridge or closet. The abundance of ideas and opportunities you have. The beauty you’ve been blessed to see in your lifetime. The love you receive and the love yiou give.

In adding the power of your words to that truth and in spending more of your time and energy dwelling in that place of abundance, that’s what will grow in your experience.

This last few weeks, I’ve started to see the beautiful flip side of what I had been feeling as time scarcity: the truth that my life is abundant with interesting projects and partners and beings I love, and the truths that there is so much fun to have and so many things to create and play with. The truth that when I was young, and wanted nothing more than engaging work and a beautiful life of adventure, I planted seeds that are now constantly bearing joyous fruit: that’s my truth.

So, just like a farmer, I must now be deliberate and intentional in deciding how to till these rows (meaning, who and what to pour my time and energy into). But also just like a farmer, I have all the time in the world. Because there’s no reason to rush. When this season is over, another will come.

If divine timing is real (and it is), then things come together when they are supposed to and not a second sooner.

If you catch that principle and get it down in your spirit, scarcity begins to dissolve in its wake.

You can also shift scarcity with your actions. You can create an intentional vacuum and invite in exactly what you need. Or you can simply shift your actions to relish with satisfaction what you do have and eagerly envision what you’d like more of, versus perseverating on what you don’t have at the moment and wish you did.

Recently, I was feeling scarce about time and sheer human resources: I needed help in some very specific functional areas of my business. In my daily writing this thought process <“I need help”> quickly shifted to <“help is on the way. . .”>, which then veered into <“what do I have in abundance that I can revel in, to tune myself into the feeling of plenty”>.

When I asked myself/my journal “what do I have in abundance?” one answer came through loud and clear: PEOPLE. Relationships. I know many thousands of brilliant people. Right away, I reached out to one or two who I knew had the skills I needed. But before I could even reach out to more, the just-right people started showing up. Emailing about how they were newly available. Asking for a call and then giving me the precise insight I needed that moment. Emailing with fresh interest in helping out on exactly the subject I was calling in support on.

And you can also shift scarcity by adopting some rules of thumb on the subjects about which you feel the most scarce, whatever they are for you.

Here’s one I borrowed from a friend:

A few years back, I decided to start traveling the world in earnest. Having had my kids very young, I was pushing 40 before travel became a high priority. As I was mapping out a world tour for part of my 18-month 40th birthday celebration, I sought input from well-traveled friends on what to cover, what to see and what to do, where.

One of the young geniuses on my team at the time was this bright light named Brandi. Brandi shared her world travel rule with me, and it was very counterintuitive. She had grown up with a hard-working single Mom and had also come by her ability to travel honestly, appreciating every single trip. Nonetheless, “I always assume I can come back,” Brandi said. “That way, you relax and see what you can reasonably see in the time you have. But the pressure is off. So you take the time to savor the moments of your trip instead of trying to cross items off a checklist. You’ll experience the place more deeply that way versus trying to ‘see all the things’ (most of which you can see online anytime you want).”

I’ve made this rule my own. When I travel, I plan my trip on the assumption I can come back anytime I want. Truthfully, I may or may not ever make it back to the place. But that’s up to me. Occasionally I repeat some of my favorite destinations. But other times, I go, fall in love and haven’t gone back (yet), in awareness of how overflowing with beautiful places this world is. I do go back because I love it and am eager for more, or I don’t go back because I’m satisfied with my experience there and eager for the beauty that beckons from elsewhere.

Either way, deleting the scarcity from my trip planning has caused me to take really different, vastly more delightful trips than I would have otherwise. Instead of the hustle through what some website says you “must see”, I’ve had dozens of delectable, only-partly-planned-in-advance trips around this planet with 50-mile bike rides, impromptu concerts, day-long neighborhood walks and yes, scads of historic and natural wonders.

If and when I feel like I need more from a place, I do what I need to do to stay longer or go back.

Here’s your prompt for writing or contemplation today:

What have you been feeling is scarce?

Time? Energy? Ideas? Words?

Money?

Health? Love?

How will today be different if you practice the thought that you will have access to *exactly* as much of that precious resource as you ever need, whenever you need it?

How might you feel differently every day of your life if you decided to practice that thought?

I invite you to try practicing this thought, even if just for the day. See what shifts.

Head up + heart out,

TNN

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