We are here on the auspicious occasion of our weekly transformation Tuesday lesson. And today I want to talk to you about how to get receptive, how to get receptive, how to get out of that idea that you have to pull every lever and direct the entire universe and do all the hardest possible work for anything to ever work out for you, and how to get into receptive mode starting super, super small. 

So I’m actually going to tell you several stories. I will tell you a story that I call “The parable of the dress” as the main story. So that should be a little signal to some of you, because people have been asking me to tell this story.

So I’m gonna tell the story. And I’m just gonna preface it with this reality of our world and my household, which is that people give us stuff. 

People give us stuff everywhere we go in this world.

I was literally on a trip with a friend and in Croatia, of all places. 

And this old, beautiful old woman ran out of her shop and handed me a piece of fruit. 

And my friend was like, “what is happening?” 

You don’t understand. This is literally what happens to me everywhere in this world. 

And it’s what happens to Londyn, who’s only four, everywhere in this world. 

Wonderful things just chase us down and people give them to us. 

And I’m very loose in how I hold things in general. Like I believe in practicing the spiritual strategy of Buddhist detachment from things, sometimes things break, or leave your possession and often they that is, actually I believe that everything is always working out in the favor and direction of our highest good. So it’s okay when things leave. 

But again, sometimes it’s really tempting to get into this mindset that you have to pull every lever in the universe, you have to direct the universe, you have to do every single logical linear step of creating every single thing that you create. 

And I’ve realized that many of us still are in that, even though this is a time of great creation, or it wants to be a time of great rebirth and renewal and reinvention, as long as you’re still in that old paradigm of you have to pull every lever, things will actually be hard. 

So while it is true that you have great, mighty, strong human effort within you, it is also true that you’ll get the best results in your life, you will have the most joyful life and you will get to have the most prosperous results in your life in a numeric goal way, financial goal way.

When you get your foundations right, you get those delicious, divine download of a vision for how you want things to be in a general way. And then you get into alignment with that. 

And you just start showing up in doing the piece of that that is in your zone of genius. And you watch what else happens, you watch what else lines up and lights up, you watch who else shows up.

So it’s really important to remind yourself in this season, I’m here to remind y’all today in this season, that you’re not in this world alone. 

Whatever your religious beliefs may be, there is Source spirit, All That Is. 

And there are also 8 billion other people on the planet. Many of whom would love to co-create whatever it is that you are creating. Sometimes they will participate in your creations without even wanting to, without even knowing they are. 

So you got to allow some space for that to happen. Whether it’s your children, whether it’s your clients, whether it’s your employers, whether it’s just your neighbors, we’re all co-creating a world together. 

And so if you get intentional first, and break your paradigms, break your low expectations of the world, and by that, I don’t just mean low expectations of yourself.

In fact, one of the most pervasive, strong, hindering inner critic patterns that I see in my caseload and my client load, and my clients are basically only very smart, already very successful people.

Their inner critics often hinder them by having them set very, very high goals with very low self-compassion. 

So if you have these goals, but you also have a paradigm or a belief system that says you have to do it all yourself, not only does that paradigm block all the help that’s actually all around you right now that you can’t see or energize. It’s also evidence. It’s also evidence of a deeper, usually a deeper, conditioned response, often a trauma-conditioned response that says, you have to do all the hard things on your own to get love, or to prove that you deserve your spot on the planet, or to get approval, or for good things to happen or for unwanted catastrophe, things not to happen. 

So this is where I really depart from the Love and Light Brigade that will tell you you don’t have to, you can’t get to the bottom of your shadows, you don’t need to think about your unwanted beliefs or inner wiring. 

The reality is that people can tell you to think different thoughts all you want about the world and have higher expectations of life all you want. But unless and until you address those conditioned patterns, you can’t even see them and they’ll run your life, they will be very active in your energies that you’re broadcasting. 

Often, that’s what creates unwanted patterns or especially unwanted self-sabotage patterns. 

So, you know, one of the teachers that I appreciate her work and actually just did a workshop with her at Esalen recently, Laura Day. She’s a creation teacher. And she talks about the strategy I call a spiritual strategy of reality tales, where you sort of orient to what you desire in your life and then you start every day a practice of writing the hypothetical, kind of beautiful, fantastical, almost non-logical nonlinear, the universe surprises you kind of ways this reality could come to pass. 

And so I love the strategy of reality tales, I find that with some people who’ve really had that condition trauma response of expecting that they have to do it all themselves a hard way, sometimes it’s helpful. 

Sometimes those people find it difficult to do reality tales in a way that actually hypothetical and fantasy and breaks open some new possibilities for how things could come to pass in their lives. 

So often, what I like to do is, look back, look back in your life, even at the smallest examples, or stories or memories of when everything just lined up in was perfect place perfect time moment, would, the times when literally people chased you down in the streets of Croatia to give you things, the times when other people showed up and help was really on the way and you didn’t make it happen. 

So I often will teach the strategy of reality tails with a bunch of other spiritual strategies that help empower you to even use reality tools including, like I said, reveling in your wins. 

Including the strategy of help was on the way, looking back and reflecting on when help was on the way, and including some of the strategies that are going to come up as I tell you the story today. 

And the reason I was initially reminded to tell this story was that the reminder came to me in this series of events. 

So Friday night, I was at my club writing, I had to sit, I was in the flow I was writing. And there was like a conference at the club, which is usually pretty mellow in the area I was at on Friday nights, very conducive to getting in the flow. 

But not that night. 

Because the area I usually sit in was like blocked off for this private event. There were just a lot of people there, the people were milling around leading new people to the building. 

And so I normally was like, grab a glass of champagne from the restaurant and sit in right but I didn’t because the restaurant was super busy. People were there. 

And I was still in the flow. So I was just writing but I was like thinking about that glass of champagne. 

Now I was just writing and I was like, let’s see, I don’t feel like going in there right now because I want to break the flow. 

So as I’m writing, one of the hotel managers who I’ve never met before walks up to me and sets two glasses of champagne down on my table. 

And he’s like, “I just thought you might need things.”

And I later told a friend about it. She was like, “what is happening? How does this happen to you?”

I’m like, it’s fine to practice this with the small things, just practice noticing it, when something really small was on your mind and somebody like gifts it to you, practice noticing it. 

Because if you can do that with things that are small, because you played a role in that, first of all, and once you realize that you can do that with small things, you graduate with small things to which you have no attachment or resistance, you gradually start to learn that you can tune yourself to be this detached unresisted flower of all kinds of energies. 

So it’s not just me, Londyn has this experience too while we were walking, and I’m going to use this as another mini parable as I get to the big parable. 

So we’re walking down the street the other day in our neighborhood. 

There’s a beautiful flower shop. When Londyn takes two steps, looks at the woman and the woman hands her this beautiful Peony already cracked and hands it to her. 

And we continue to take a couple of steps and Londyn was like, “why did she give me this flower? I don’t want this flower.”

And I said to her, “Londyn, when people give us gifts, we receive them. We receive gifts. If you don’t want it, you’re welcome to give it to someone else. But this is how we do in this house”. 

Me and my house, we received gifts. 

And there was a gentleman standing in an open store who overheard this and he stopped me and he was like, “that is very, very wise. I heard what you just told her and that is very wise.” 

And we started to talk about it. 

And he said something like, “you know, I’m not a good receiver. I’m not good at receiving.” 

And I told him this is one way you practice getting good at receiving big and small, start with small, but just make a rule for yourself, a practice for yourself, put yourself in the energetic posture that when people give you gifts, you receive them. 

And I definitely had to build the habit of receptivity. What a beautiful phrase, huh? 

So this is one way that you begin to shift into the paradigm where blessings are chasing you down in every area of your life all the time and you start to receive them, is where you start to become but just one component, and in the fulfillment of your own potential on your own sacred contracts with ease. 

So you’re not doing it all on your own. 

And you practice with the small things and you practice remembering the small times. 

That’s the spiritual strategy. 

Receiving your gifts is a spiritual strategy. 

And reveling in your wins is another spiritual strategy. Here are a couple more that are relevant to this. Mantras:. 

I’m in love with everyone and everyone is in love with me. 

Try that and watch how it changes your life. 

Try that and watch what comes up for you as you say that because there may be some paradigm awareness and belief system awareness that you need to have to dissolve in order to get back in alignment with love as the dominant energy underlying your interpersonal relationships and once you rewire that watch who shows up in your life. 

Watch who shows up in your life. 

Watch how the troublemakers in your life change the way that they act now. 

So here’s the story of the dress. The parable of the dress.

Well, the dress I wore, this dress on my recent photoshoot:

I’m wearing this dress seven, eight years on after I got it. But I want to tell you this story because it’s really beautiful. 

Seven or eight years ago, I was in New York City on a weekend enroute to France. 

So I’m walking down Fifth Avenue in New York City and I have not bought any couture clothing at that time in my life. Because y’all it’s all Pugs and you know gold things now, but I was a teenage mom, I was a teenage mom from Bakersfield, California so, don’t get it twisted. 

It wasn’t always Pugs and gold stuff everywhere. 

So in New York City walking down Fifth Avenue, I saw the Dior store, I saw this beautiful dress in this store and it was like not glitzy fancy glam. It just was like, for me. It just was for me. It looked like it was for me. 

It was like a Tara-shaped dress. 

And it was also Sunday at whatever time the store was closed. 

I remember seeing it and alerting to it and then kind of going, it’s not for me because the store is closed. 

So I kept trekking. 

The next day I was in Paris enroute to Cannes because I am a marketer, but used to be a marketer, I would attend the Cannes interactive Advertising Festivals. 

So I’m in Paris, I’m in the Galleries Lafayette, it’s like a mall. It’s a beautiful mall, but it’s a mall, I’m wearing Lululemon. 

I’m a black chick with braids in my hair, wearing yoga pants. And it was right around the time when you were hearing all these black women’s celebrities were having these really outrageous experiences of discrimination in high-end stores. But it just was that time. 

So I’m walking in the mall. And I see the Dior store. And I’m like, I just escaped the bullet of not having to figure out the finances and whatever buying this dress. 

So I was walking actually opposite the side of the corridor from the store. I just didn’t even want to go into the store. And I was kind of glancing in the window seeing they didn’t have the dress in the window. Anyway, it was great. So it wasn’t tempting. 

So I’m walking down away at the mall and the shopkeeper, the woman who’s managing the store at Dior, is in the doorway. And she sees me and she gestures to me. She’s like, “you come here.” 

So I come over, and she says, “Can I get you a glass of champagne?” 

Yes, and not all my stories begin with champagne. But this one? So I’m like, “Sure.” 

So she hands me a glass of champagne and she says, “ma’am, I’ll bring you some dresses.” And mind you I’m literally wearing workout clothes and tennis shoes. I don’t carry prestige handbags or any of that. It’s just not my style of bag. 

But she just knew. So she grabs me and gives me champagne and asks me if she can bring me some dresses. And the dress that she brings me is the same dress I’ve just seen the day before work on Fifth Avenue. It’s actually the same. 

The dress she handed me that day without asking me what my size was, without asking me what style or what I did was, nothing. 

The dress she handed me I now own. 

It is the dress I brought home. It was the most expensive piece of clothing I had bought in my life to that time. 

And I put the dress on and it just was like somebody sewed it on me and made it for me. 

Also the dress is like a tank. Like you put this dress on and you’re like this dress will if I can stay in the size for it for 40 years, this dress will last for years. It is just beautifully made. 

Now, not only did she bring me the black dress, she also brought me a white version of the dress, which I didn’t even know existed because it wasn’t in the window when I saw the dress in New York. 

She brings me the black and the white one and I’m like, “Am I really about to buy both these dresses, because we’re talking about like a mortgage payment and a half purred for us here.” And I was kind of in a point of time in my own spiritual work where I was practicing the spiritual strategy of being lavished with myself after many decades and an upbringing of being very restrictive with myself. So I was like, Yeah, I can just buy the white dress that had a little smudge of makeup on it. 

And I thought at that price point that I can’t justify, is like buying this dress and someone else’s makeup on it. Like buying this dress and then having to go get a clean that I can get with somebody great. Like, thanks, God, you just made that decision for me. I don’t need this one too. 

So I tell her, “I’m not I can’t stress a little smudge on it. I’m really not feeling it. I do love it. I would get it otherwise, but I can’t I And oh, by the way, I’m leaving town tomorrow, going to Cannes.” 

She says, “just give me a second.” So she goes VPP Boo boop, comes back. Now she makes a call. She comes back, she says, “there’s one more dress this white dress in your science, it’s in Switzerland. We can have it and can day after tomorrow, will you still be there?” 

And I’m like, am I about to do this real thing? The answer was yes, I absolutely did. So by the time I got to Kent, to the hotel, I was going to end up staying in Cannes, because actually I also had a really bad Airbnb experience. And then ended up in this beautiful hotel. And I had let the dealer store pick in Paris, weren’t what my plan change was. 

So I checked into my hotel, and the manager of the hotel comes down with this huge white box that just says Dior on the top. And a business card from the can. France, south of France, can do your store manager with his handwritten note on it, I still have the card. 

Because I still and he hands me this tank of a dress. And I still have the card and I still tell the story because I don’t wear the dress often. 

But when I wear them people are like, “what is this dress? Where is this word? What is this dress that’s they’re a little transcendent.” And maybe some of it is the making of the dress. And some of it is the energy of the experience through which these dresses came to me. 

But I keep the card as a reminder, I keep the card as a reminder that I want every day to feel like this. 

I want every day to feel like this for me where everyone in this world is conspiring to chase after you and find you and link you up with the just right things, the most delicious plate things for you. 

We’re all your blessings are chasing you down in every area of your life all the time, where you’re always having these wins, and you’re always reveling in them. 

I think life should be magical. 

And I think a magical life is just a series of magical days, right? 

So these are the spiritual strategies of magical days, receiving your gifts.

I am in love with everyone and everyone is in love with me. 

Every person on this planet is a link in the chain of my highest good reveling in your wins having Buddhist detachment. 

I could have gotten upset that the store wasn’t open or you know, bummed that I missed out on it in New York, but the truth is, like I know if everything is always working out for you, you never miss out on anything that is yours ever. 

So the energy, I want to invite you to just get into the energy of the story, let it sit, you know, plant some seeds within you, when things feel hard for you, I want you to return to that the energy of your elevated lick the plate moments and memories of when abundance came to you with ease. 

And it can be a tiny small thing, it can be the time somebody gave you a free glass of champagne. It could be just anything, remember the times when everything really worked out for you. 

So if this opens up anything in your spirit, or if you’d like to have more magical days and more magical moments and magical days that lead to magical life, just take a moment to like the video or to share the video or to subscribe to my videos on this platform that we’re on right now. 

And if you really want to start joyfully doing the deep work of shifting your paradigms so that you become more of a magnet instead of a marketer, that’s a thing I’ve been trying on with people. You don’t have to market yourself all the time to become a magnet. And there’s a way to do that. 

There’s no but it’s deep work and it’s paradigm level work. Go to soultour.com/subscribe and get on the list for my welcome to your SoulTour newsletter, we will keep you in the loop. 

Because we are about to reopen my school of spiritual strategy after this deep excavation and remodeling and rebranding work and we’ve been creating a thing that is nothing less than art. 

And I’m about to start doing some orientations to give you a little tour through the new school of spiritual strategy. 

So get on my lists and follow me and do all that stuff. Sign up and share this. I don’t want you to miss a thing. I promise you what’s coming is a whole magical mystical metaphysical, have a smart and strategic and intentional vibe that will make your life better like now, today, not someday. 

Keep your head up and your heart out. I will see you soon.

Tara-Nicholle Kirke, MA, Esq.
The Metaphysician
Founder + CEO of SoulTour

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