Have you ever had a friend who fell in love with a new boyfriend and then just disappeared? She went on a date a few weeks ago and … you just don’t see them no more?
That’s probably how my friends feel about me and my relationship with Mexico.
So suffice to say that I’ve been spending a lot of time in Mexico lately. La Londyn and I are moving down for the summer… and maybe beyond.
But I’ve noticed a fascinating pattern in how other people react to this plan. In almost every conversation I have with a friend or relative about our move, one question arises.
They ask “Are you fluent in Spanish?”
And I answer: Nope!
I understand Spanish really well, as I grew up in a town that is 70% Mexican.
But my spoken Spanish is…malo.
It’s really bad. Until I’m there a couple of weeks and it’s really good.
And when I say this, I watch the alarm creep up on the face of my friends, as they try to put themselves in my shoes.
And then I share what I know to be true, which is this: The only way I’ll ever get fluent is to move to a Spanish-speaking country.
I have lots of friends who speak Spanish right here in the United States of Oakland.
But they don’t speak Spanish with me. Their English is far better than my Spanish, and it’s not their job to practice with me.
So once I decided to get serious and get fluent… and once I decided I wanted that for Londyn, too, my next steps became clear.
Not only would we move part-time (to start) to Mexico, we would NOT be moving to Baja or any of the other resort areas where you could live the rest of your life without a word of Spanish.
I started looking for a town which had the creature comforts I love… but did NOT have a large American expat community.
I started looking for a place with a preschool that would let Londyn drop in for a couple of months at a time, and get fluent in the process.
I started looking for a place with great internet and good hotels and resorts and other collaborators for the retreats I run with my individual coaching clients, and with our groups coaching members at SoulTour.
And, you know what?
I found it.
A nature-focused, Spanish-dominant community in Mexico with 60,000 people, a single American, 3 country clubs, lots of horses and a Tesla charging station, all within a day’s travel from our home in Oakland.
And I found it with a few Google searches. I didn’t know a single soul in town. Shit, I didn’t know a single soul who had even been to the town.
But I geared up and we flew down anyway, just to do a vibe check. Put our bodies in the place and see how we felt.
I set the intention: Spirit, show us the way. Let us learn what we’re here to learn. Let the places we should go woo us.
And I paved the journey with this one: Everything is always working out for us.
And I lightened things up with this one: Ya veremos. (We shall see!)
So we checked into our Airbnb. And the locals rolled out the red carpet. The schools rolled out the red carpet. The neighbors. The local shopkeepers and business owners.
People opened warm arms. Encouraged us to move down.
They invited us to their homes for dinner. Gave us their numbers for play dates. Told us why they loved their neighborhoods and we should consider it, too. Made space for Londyn in their gymnastics classes.
They enthusiastically offered business partnerships.
And all this was possible because we were willing to go without really being “ready”, in terms of our Spanish levels.
But what if I had imposed the false prerequisite on myself, of being fluent in Spanish in advance?
What if I had decided to get a one-time-a-week Spanish tutor and wait to make a move until I was fully fluent?
Trust me when I say, we’d still be WAITING, for some years to come.
Because fluency without immersion is nearly impossible. (That’s a word for someone.)
Fluency without immersion is not a thing, Brilliant One.
As with so many House Rules of the Universe, most people think about being ready to make a big life change backwards.
You don’t get good at Spanish so you can move to Mexico.
You move to Mexico and that’s how you get good at Spanish.
You can’t always just sit in a room and cook up a 20 year Perfect Life Plan and count on getting crystal clear on your life’s purpose before you start doing your dreams.
It’s EXACTLY the other way around: You start taking a step toward doing your dreams and that’s how you kickstart the process of getting clear on who you really are and what you really want out of life, why you’re really here.
It’s not even possible to get really good at the things you want to be able to do before you start doing them.
You can only get good at them by doing them.
And along the way you realize that the delectable life starts when you stop caring whether you’re good at those things are just do them because following your Inner Guidance feels so freaking good.
This is a story about how some willingness-es are accelerating my own journey to be my Big Self and do my Big Dreams before I die:
… the willingness to get comfortable being uncomfortable
… the willingness to expose yourself to the possibility of some unwanted plot twists and turns
… the willingness to trust that it’ll all work out anyway
… the willingness to surrender to a little disorientation and untethering and the certainty that I will make millions of mistakes along the way.
Now it’s your turn.
And here are a few prompts to get you started.
First, my Signature Breakthrough Question: What is it that you’re afraid to do… and that you would LOVE to do?
Second: What would be possible for you if you were willing to be uncomfortable, make millions of mistakes along the way and shed the “false prerequisite” story you’ve been telling yourself?
And finally: What would it FEEL LIKE for you to feel that psychologically safe in your own skin and in the world, that you could trust that everything is always working out for you and take the everyday risks required to live an exuberant, succulent, lick-the-plate, no-hesitation, guided by Inner Wisdom, shackles-off life?
(Side note: Every program at SoulTour is proven to help with this.)
I’m going to reopen SoulTour’s School of Spiritual Strategy soon, so I’d love to know what would feel like a breakthrough for you. Feel free to hit reply and let me know what comes up for you when you hear these prompts.
Head up + heart out,
Tara-Nicholle Kirke, MA, Esq.
The Metaphysician
Founder + CEO of SoulTour
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