A couple of months back, I had a few weeks where lots of things were breaking around my house, and each one took a lot of time and money to repair. 

So I wasn’t at all surprised when my fancy new water dispenser stopped working, too. In fact, when it didn’t work immediately, I rolled my eyes and made a note to call for a new one. 

But that night, when Londyn walked in, she took off her shoes (just like Mister Rogers, as one does), washed her hands, grabbed a cup and went to get some water. 

1000% ignoring my protestations that the machine wasn’t working, Londyn pressed the lever and… out came a steady stream of water. 

*cue raised eyebrows on my part*

Then she did it again, twice that night. And every time she made the water machine work I tried to do it too… and still couldn’t make it work at all. Thought it was a fluke of her baby spiritual guru manifestation sorcery or something.

Then the next day, it happened again. I couldn’t make it work all day… and it worked for her, on demand, the first time she tried. 

So I stood there watching her. And trying to replicate her success. 

Ultimately I did. And when I finally got some water out I realized: I had been pressing just a tiny bit too hard.

I had been pressing the lever too hard. Working too hard. I had been efforting too much. 

If I just gave it a little bit less pressure, water streamed out. 

Lesson learned.

Don’t work so hard. 

And here’s the other lesson I learned: I had been expecting too little. 

See, the thing that was actually wrong with the water machine was that there was a tiny, 3 second delay between pressing the lever and the water coming out that Londyn had the patience to wait through… but I didn’t. 

And because I was primed to expect it to break (given the recent history of things breaking at home), I’d been giving up on pressing the lever just a millisecond too soon.

So here’s the moral of this little parable, Brilliant One…

When you’re working hard and not getting the results you want, the answer is not to work harder.

The answer is totally contrary to our cultural programming. 

The answer is two-fold: 

Effort less. 

And expect more. 

Effort less.

Expect more.  

Effort less. Work less. Stop believing the lie that you’re the Director of the Universe. You’re not. In fact, look back at the best things in your life right now… did they ALL come to you through back breaking work? Did any of them come to you through serendipity, grace, perfect-place/perfect-time moments or those moments when everything just lines up for you? 

That’s what I thought. 

Effort less.

And expect more.

In her book The Trance of Scarcity, my friend the artist and author Victoria Castle wrote something to this effect, and it was a Spiritual Mic-Drop for real: 

“We don’t get what we want. We get what we expect.” 

Expect to be stuck and you will be.

Expect to struggle and you will.

Expect things not to work, and they won’t. 

Chronically expect people to be shitty or incompetent… expect the other shoe to drop… and the Universe will accommodate your expectations.

On the other hand, if you expect love, money and golden opportunities to flow to you freely and easily… they will.

Expect to be in love with everyone and expect everyone to be in love with you, and they will.

Expect things to be easy for you, and they will.

Chronically expect everything to always work out for you and it will.

Now, please hear this: Elevating your expectations takes some time and practice. 

And your expectations on some subjects will be easier to elevate than others.

Like, if your family has been practicing the story that the struggle is real or that money doesn’t grow on trees or the story that you can’t trust people… it may take some time to rewire those thought habits into a more expansive, more easful, higher expectation relational template with the world around you and with your own desires, and dreams, and goals.

It takes some time. But you can do it. 

You can start by observing those around you who are already living and reaping the results of having elevated expectations like the ones you’re creating right now. 

Then you make a commitment to your own wholeness, liberation and joy. Don’t make a commitment to your 5 year action plan. Make a commitment to your wholeness, liberation and joy.

Then you decide to get ready and willing to set them old sad struggle stories down, take what feels like a risk and go where maybe no one you know has gone before: Into the realm of expecting more out of life. 

Requiring more our of life. 

Demanding more from this Universe. 

And along the way, you reflect over your life and connect the dots, remembering all the times things did work out for you and practicing that story instead of the bad feeling struggle version of your autobiography. 

And then moving forward, you take great care to notice all of your wins and your loved ones wins and revel in them… that’s how you learn to elevate your expectations and trust in pronoia: the Universal law that all things are collaborating and conspiring to benefit and bless you.

So. Here’s the question of the day….

What are you ready to start expecting? 

A word of caution: Be advised that when you expect more, you require more from this Universe, it will answer. And that will kickstart a domino effect of alignment in your life which means: any old struggle stories you tell will start to sound extra played-out and lame, in your own ears.

You might get sick of your own stories. 

Any disharmonies you’ve been tolerating will get super uncomfortable, until they leave your life or you let them go…

Your self-limiting patterns, low-vibe relationships and thxe old, disempowering drums you’ve been beating will start to chafe at you like some old, outgrown jeans, because they can’t come with you in the season you move into when you elevate your expectations.

Here are a couple of Pro Tips for elevating your expectations:

• As you write what you want to expect going forward, try not to reference your status quo reality, your current circumstances, your past limitations or lack or your past and present low expectations at all. Let all of that be irrelevant to the expectations you are creating.

• Don’t talk to the stingy, scared, sad sack people you know about what you’re doing. Don’t tell your complaint buddies you’ve decided to stop complaining and start expecting more. 

• Also don’t tell your struggle buddies: the ones who think there’s virtue in keeping a brutal calendar, or who think that if you don’t, the whole world could fall apart. 

         You know who I’m talking about. 

• Be as general or specific as feels good to you. You can write about general feelings you’re ready to start expecting, or you can write about very specific experiences you’re ready to expect down to what you want to be wearing when you’re doing them so long as it feels good to you to write about that. 

  ​​​​​​​​​​​​​​If and when it stops feeling good, stop writing or write more generally.

• As you raise your current expectations, don’t let your Inner Critic judge you for your low, past expectations.  If you get the urge to judge your past or present expectations, smile inwardly and choose to see it as a treasure that you’ve discovered a new little tendril of self-judgment to release, and keep it moving. 

Head up + heart out,

Tara-Nicholle Kirke, MA, Esq.
The Inner Critic Coach™️
Founder + CEO of SoulTour

@taranicholle on FB | TW | IG | LI

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